Colleen Brown's Blog, page 230

I don’t need you to take care of me,but when you said that you were going tobe there, you...

I don’t need you to take care of me,
but when you said that you were going to
be there, you should have probably
showed up. I was not expecting to
fall in love with you, but I did, and this
should be something that I shouldn’t have to
go through alone. And no matter what turn
I take, or what words come out of my mouth,
you should still be there for me.
Because even if things become 
too hard to handle, you should always
be there. Just like you promised.

I cannot wait to someday be in love with someone who is just as much in love with me as I am them....

I cannot wait to someday be in love with someone who is just as much in love with me as I am them. That’s going to be a good day.

It’s been two years since we’ve last spoken,and with all that lost time, I wonderif you...

It’s been two years
since we’ve last spoken,
and with all that lost time, I wonder
if you have ever thought of me.
And I know that I don’t have to
ask you to find out the answer,
and I know that I don’t have to
send you 2 a.m. drunk text messages
to realize that you are better off
without me being near you.
But I do it anyway, because
for some strange reason
there are parts of me
that feel as if there may still be
hope within the bitterness
of your expired feelings.

I feel like you are using meas a crutch in order to supportthe life that you never couldhave, and I...

I feel like you are using me
as a crutch in order to support
the life that you never could
have, and I don’t think that I
want to hold you up any longer.
Because even if you feel
stronger than ever, I feel as if
I am going to break
underneath the weight 
that you consider
to be your love.

"Tell your parents about the timewhen you told me that you loved me,and no amount of force could..."

“

Tell your parents about the time

when you told me that you loved me,

and no amount of force could ever

separate us from being together.

When you said that, you must

have forgot about the strength

that not only your mother,

but your father holds as well.

Together, they create pressure

that not even a professional

body builder could withstand.

Whenever I come over,

and your parents are standing

in our vision, you don’t look

at me in the eyes, and your

hands are even more frantic

than the nerves in your mind.

I can see the way you hold

your tongue with your teeth,

and how you nudge me into the

opposite side of where you

are standing. If your parents

detect even the slightest hint

of attraction, they board-up

their home and they don’t

come out until everything

suddenly feels miles away.

But I’m not afraid of isolation,

and I’ve grown used to the feeling

of rejection; a feeling that

some use in the place of love.

So whenever your parents leave

the room, and we are alone,

don’t look at me in the eyes

and make me feel as if everything

will someday be sorted out.

Because if you cannot even tell

the people who claim to love you

the most about how you feel, than you

don’t even deserve a moment

of my understanding.

”

- “Our love is not forbidden, it’s just misinterpreted," - Colleen Brown

All that I want from youis for you to love mein the way that youwish to be loved in.

All that I want from you
is for you to love me
in the way that you
wish to be loved in.

I hope that younever feel the needto leave.

I hope that you
never feel the need
to leave.

I’ve been told to be carefularound those who make me feelthe most vulnerable. Butwith you, I...

I’ve been told to be careful
around those who make me feel
the most vulnerable. But
with you, I don’t care how many
times you tell me that I should
stay away for my own good.
Because I already know
that I am going to keep
coming back. Even if it is
bad for well-being.

Feeling loved and being loved by someone at the same time is probably one of the most beautiful and...

Feeling loved and being loved by someone at the same time is probably one of the most beautiful and inspiring feelings.

"When I think of her, I can feelthe heat of Summer breathing downthe neckline of my floral dress.I..."

“

When I think of her, I can feel

the heat of Summer breathing down

the neckline of my floral dress.

I count all of the flowers on the cloth

that’s keeping my naked body hidden,

and with each new number, I remember

a memory that she and I once shared.

There is river behind my home,

and I cannot tell you how many times

that she has told me that she wishes

it could swallow her whole; leaving

nothing behind but an old pair

of oxfords that her mother worked

multiple midnight shifts to afford.

She always looked so beautiful

when the sun was washing her body

with its rays. She even looked beautiful

underneath the moonlight; her eyes

that were full of milky constellations.

Whenever I would look at her,

I swear that her face had been able to

outshine the galaxies of planets

that neither of us could ever remember

the names of.

But I will always remember her the most

when she was the most vulnerable.

When her skin was flaky from

not being touched in the right way

on the right places of her body.

But when my embrace was upon her,

even she said that my caress

could have made even the most sensitive

of people come back, begging for more.

”

- “A sense of nostalgia," - Colleen Brown