Janine Robinson's Blog, page 20

College Application Essay Hope for Math/Science Students!

 

 

I get a lot of students with my college application essay tutoring who fall into the “math/science” end of the learning spectrum. In general, that means that classes such as Algebra II and Chemistry come relatively easy to them, and English and other humanities not so much. Many think they are not strong writers and are mortified that their college application essay could pull so much weight in where they get into college. This just doesn’t seem fair, especially when many of these students have off the charts test scores.

If it helps, I like to think that colleges understand this discrepancy and take the larger picture into consideration when deciding who to accept. If nothing else, you math/science students should view your essay as a chance to set yourself apart from the pack, and also showcase your balanced personality at the same time. (I don’t mean to stereotype, but math/science whiz kids sometimes get pegged as not as social or well-rounded as other students. You know, it’s that annoying nerd or geek thing.)

 

Well, I have great news for you. After working with hundreds of students over the last six years, I have discovered that the math/science students who claim they can’t write well often churn out the best essays. Once they get over their aversion to the process, most of them come up with unique topics and write them in a straight forward, engaging style. Ironically, some of the students from the other side of the divide, especially those who say they want to become writers, struggle much harder and don’t always end up with the best pieces.

Here’s what happens. Some of those star English students get the wrong idea about “good writing” along the way in high school and believe that they need to write intense, formal academic style essays or super descriptive, flowery essays and forget to just tell their stories in a clear, narrative style. Most are very bright, talented, motivated and creative students; they just weren’t given the best direction on what makes an effective personal statement. Once they understand how to think about writing a slice-of-life essay, and let go of some of the old habits, they also produce great essays. (And many will go onto be writers!)

What surprises me is how well the math/science students do. I think the trick is that they don’t try too hard on their essays, and once they seize upon an idea or story to tell, they just get it out on paper and write more like they talk. Finally, they let go of their spelling challenges, and don’t worry about working in colorful language, and simply recount what happened to them, and then go onto to explain how they felt, what they thought and what they learned. The beauty is they can always go back and fix those misspelled words, or add a little color or description. But they got the meat of the story out on paper, and that’s the hardest part.

 

Here are some tips if you fall into that math/science category:

Don’t be your own worst enemy and shut down on the essay part of your application. Stay positive and work on telling yourself that you will write a great essay.
Remember that this essay is your chance to showcase a part of yourself the colleges would not know from the rest of your application. Shoot for projecting balance.
If you want to go into a specific field, think of what qualities/strengths you have that you could highlight in your essay, and find a story that shows this quality in action. (If you want to be an engineer, was there a “time” you could recount when you put your logic, or problem-solving or resourcefulness skills into action?)
If you can’t think of a good topic–especially one that would showcase how you are a well-balanced individual–read some sample essays. This is the best way to get ideas for both what to write about and how to write it.
When you write about anything in the realm of math or science, keep in mind that the person reading your essay most likely will not have the same level of knowledge about your subject (especially it’s technical or highly specialized). So after you pound out a rough draft, go back and make sure you keep your explanation simple and clear, and stay away from a lot of lingo or technical language. If something is technical or complicated, try to explain it in the most basic way you can.
Let your logical brain work for you. Writing is a logical process–it’s really thinking on paper–so approach it that way. Take it step by step. Pick a topic. Map out a simple plan. This Jumpstart Guide should help get your started.

Writing these essays is a more level playing field than you think. As far as I can tell, no one has a huge advantage when it comes to writing a powerful college admissions essay. Success amounts to spending some time finding a great topic, and then writing your piece in an engaging, narrative (story-telling) style. The ability to write well is not a gift; it is a skill that just takes determination, time and energy. Same goes with college application essays.
  

Essay Hope for Math/Science Students!

 

 

I get a lot of students who fall into the “math/science” end of the learning spectrum. In general, that means that classes such as Algebra II and Chemistry come relatively easy to them, and English and other humanities not so much. Many think they are not strong writers and are mortified that their college application essay could pull so much weight in where they get into college. This just doesn’t seem fair, especially when many of these students have off the charts test scores.

If it helps, I like to think that colleges understand this discrepancy and take the larger picture into consideration when deciding who to accept. If nothing else, you math/science students should view your essay as a chance to set yourself apart from the pack, and also showcase your balanced personality at the same time. (I don’t mean to stereotype, but math/science whiz kids sometimes get pegged as not as social or well-rounded as other students. You know, it’s that annoying nerd or geek thing.)

 

Well, I have great news for you. After working with hundreds of students over the last six years, I have discovered that the math/science students who claim they can’t write well often churn out the best essays. Once they get over their aversion to the process, most of them come up with unique topics and write them in a straight forward, engaging style. Ironically, some of the students from the other side of the divide, especially those who say they want to become writers, struggle much harder and don’t always end up with the best pieces.

Here’s what happens. Some of those star English students get the wrong idea about “good writing” along the way in high school and believe that they need to write intense, formal academic style essays or super descriptive, flowery essays and forget to just tell their stories in a clear, narrative style. Most are very bright, talented, motivated and creative students; they just weren’t given the best direction on what makes an effective personal statement. Once they understand how to think about writing a slice-of-life essay, and let go of some of the old habits, they also produce great essays. (And many will go onto be writers!)

What surprises me is how well the math/science students do. I think the trick is that they don’t try too hard on their essays, and once they seize upon an idea or story to tell, they just get it out on paper and write more like they talk. Finally, they let go of their spelling challenges, and don’t worry about working in colorful language, and simply recount what happened to them, and then go onto to explain how they felt, what they thought and what they learned. The beauty is they can always go back and fix those misspelled words, or add a little color or description. But they got the meat of the story out on paper, and that’s the hardest part.

 

Here are some tips if you fall into that math/science category:

Don’t be your own worst enemy and shut down on the essay part of your application. Stay positive and work on telling yourself that you will write a great essay.
Remember that this essay is your chance to showcase a part of yourself the colleges would not know from the rest of your application. Shoot for projecting balance.
If you want to go into a specific field, think of what qualities/strengths you have that you could highlight in your essay, and find a story that shows this quality in action. (If you want to be an engineer, was there a “time” you could recount when you put your logic, or problem-solving or resourcefulness skills into action?)
If you can’t think of a good topic–especially one that would showcase how you are a well-balanced individual–read some sample essays. This is the best way to get ideas for both what to write about and how to write it.
When you write about anything in the realm of math or science, keep in mind that the person reading your essay most likely will not have the same level of knowledge about your subject (especially it’s technical or highly specialized). So after you pound out a rough draft, go back and make sure you keep your explanation simple and clear, and stay away from a lot of lingo or technical language. If something is technical or complicated, try to explain it in the most basic way you can.
Let your logical brain work for you. Writing is a logical process–it’s really thinking on paper–so approach it that way. Take it step by step. Pick a topic. Map out a simple plan. This Jumpstart Guide should help get your started.

Writing these essays is a more level playing field than you think. As far as I can tell, no one has a huge advantage when it comes to writing a powerful college admissions essay. Success amounts to spending some time finding a great topic, and then writing your piece in an engaging, narrative (story-telling) style. The ability to write well is not a gift; it is a skill that just takes determination, time and energy.
  

A Q&A With Me!

One of my favorite student-run blogs on college admissions, The Prospect, featured this interview with me last week. I thought the writer, Oriana Halverson, did a terrific job, and flushed out some helpful information:

 

Essay Hell’s Janine Robinson:
Everything You Need to Know About Admissions Essays

by The Prospect Staff | on March 11, 2014 |

Janine Robinson, Founder of Essay Hell.

By Oriana Halvorsen, Spring 2014 Community Outreach Intern for The Prospect

Name: Janine Robinson

Website: Essay Hell (She also has two e-books on sale on her website to check out, with a third on the way this spring!)

Social Media Links: Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr.

To start off with a more career-oriented question, how did you get into the business of helping students write their college essays?

When my daughter was a junior in high school in 2008, I helped her brainstorm topics for her college essays—both for the University of California and The Common App. When I saw that these essays were best when written in a narrative (story-telling) style, I realized that my background as a journalist, writer/editor and English teacher almost perfectly prepared me to help her. So I started helping other students in my hometown of Laguna Beach, California. And it kind of took off from there. I also started my blog, Essay Hell, and published essay-writing guide books.

In journalism, especially magazine feature writing, we often use anecdotes (mini-stories) to start off articles, which grab the reader and also illustrate the larger points or themes with colorful, engaging writing. These also work like a dream in college app essays! In my professional writing, I also use other fiction-writing techniques, such as dialogue, sensory details, metaphors and descriptive language to bring the articles to life. When I saw how most college application essays were too formal and academic in style and tone—and often plain boring–I helped my students use these same techniques to make their essays lively and compelling.

What are the most common and flat-out myths you’ve heard regarding college essays?

The worst one is that you need to impress the reader with some “wow” type of achievement or accomplishment. It’s actually the opposite: Often the most everyday topics make the best essays–riding the public bus, having freckles, loving karaoke, making crepes, learning to drive a stick shift, getting stuck in a tree, etc. It’s counter intuitive, but mundane topics work almost every time. Seriously, do you want to read about someone’s Eagle Scout award or the time they won the league championship? Not me.

Many students believe their essays need to sound serious and include lots of big words and have that formal style that they think makes them sound smart. Instead, you want your unique “voice” to shine through. The trick is to write more like you talk.

What tips would you most recommend for students?

I always advise students to identify a handful (3-5) of the qualities that “define” them. These can be anything from creative, determined, leader, disciplined, laid-back, etc. Then start by picking one of those qualities and try to think of real-life examples from their recent past that show how or why they are this way.

What you are looking for are moments or experiences you had that shaped who you are, how you think and what you care about. When you recount these “mini stories” or anecdotes in your essays, you reveal yourself in a natural way.

The best stories contain some type of “problem” that you had to handle. The problem can be anything from terrible acne to making some type of mistake. They can also be a phobia, a life change, an obstacle, challenge or idiosyncrasy. The beauty of a problem is that you can tell the story of what happened, and then go on to describe how you dealt with it and what you learned. Before you know it, you have a terrific essay.

What are the big essay mishaps that should be avoided?

Many students work themselves into a panic over these essays. It just doesn’t help. And they also tell me they have nothing to write about, nothing makes them special. But I know this isn’t true. In fact, I have yet to find a student who put some energy into brainstorming and came up blank. Not one. Everyone has stories to tell.

Also, even though the structure of a narrative essay is looser than a formal, academic essay, you still need a plan. It can be enough to just number the main points you want to cover in each paragraph to make sure your essay flows and makes sense. Whatever works for you.

Don’t try to make it perfect in the first draft. Just pick a topic, find a story, jot down a rough outline or writing plan, and pound out a draft. Tell yourself you are just getting out your thoughts and ideas, and do not worry about grammar, spelling, those types of things. Then you can go back, read it out loud, take out the redundant or dull parts, move things around to make it flow better, and fix all the small stuff later.

Another mistake is to write about a topic that the admissions folks will already learn about you from other parts of your application. If possible, tell them something they don’t know or wouldn’t discover about you elsewhere.

Are there any essay topics that are more favorable than others?

I think topics that allow students to “show their grit” are often the best. And these can be anything from major life crises to simple everyday challenges. The idea is that you share an experience where things didn’t go the way you wanted or expected, and how you handled it and thought about and felt and learned in the process.

It’s not so much what you write about as what you have to say about the process. Pick a “small” subject and say something “big” about it. Works every time!

What services or programs would you recommend for students who want to improve their essays?

I think one of the best ways for students to find ideas for topics and also learn how to write in a narrative style is to read sample essays. You can see for yourself the range of topics that make great essays, and also study how the writers structured their essays.

When you read other essays, see which ones you liked best—and try to emulate the techniques they used in your own. Learn to trust what moves you—stories, humor, emotion, humility, insights, etc.–and chances are, you can learn to move others the same way.

If you feel totally stuck or think you can’t write, you could always hire a private tutor or find an essay-writing class. But I believe you can find plenty of help from online sources and books on essay writing. I do think those Web sites that offer to write essays for students are a total rip-off.

For what it’s worth, some of the worst essays I’ve read were from students who had a lot of “help,” from counselors, parents and/or teachers. Although they meant well, these helpers often took all the life and color out the essays. The best essays were almost always from students who found a story and shared it in their own words.

What was the best essay you’ve ever read?

I can’t say there was one that I would call the “best” essay. They are so subjective. Off the top of my head, I loved one about a girl’s big hips, and another about a girl who took care of her dying dad, and one about collecting trash and another about driving between her divorced parent’s home each week. The topics are all over the place. But again, it’s more what the student had to say about his or her topic.

The “best” essays are those that make me want to keep reading, and when I’m done, I have formed an opinion about the writer. If I feel like I know that person a little better, and respect how they feel and think about things (even if I don’t totally agree), then I believe they have done a good job with their essay. And if I feel like I like them and would want to know them better, then I would say they did a great job. And chances are, the college admissions officials who read that essay will feel the same way.

The goal of these essays is to reveal a core part of who you are so that the colleges can get a sense of what makes you tick. I believe the main things they want to see are that you are engaged in the world, care deeply about whatever you do, have the maturity to be honest, open and introspective, love learning and can’t wait to learn more. Isn’t that the type of person you would want at your college?

Oriana Halverson is a junior at a fairly large public school in western New York. She spends her days creating lists of things to do and competing in oratorical competitions such as the wonderful Model UN. In her very spare time, she takes naps and dances on vertical apparatuses.

It’s Official: Out with the Big Words!

 

Big changes in the new SAT test announced recently caused quite a stir, especially that they were dropping the essay component. I was most excited, however, that they also were going to stop emphasizing “obscure” vocabulary words.

Not only do I think it’s ridiculous to force students to memorize lists of long words no one uses, but I think it’s a huge waste of precious class and homework time.

After years of working with students on their college application essays, I have seen how the emphasis in English classes on these obscure words oozed into students’ writing–and made it pedantic (look it up. haha.) and dull. Most think they sounded smarter when they use words like “deleterious” and “cacophony” in their essays.

It’s not their fault. The priority and energy energy devoted to teaching them these words was crazy.

I remember both my own kids spending hours at night during high school with homemade flashcards trying to cram words, such as, “effulgent” and “calumny” and “hegemony,” into their teenage brains, only to quickly forget them in time for the next batch of words. And teachers spent hours in class practicing these words and testing them, as well.

What was the point? This was invaluable time teachers could have been teaching writing, giving students creative assignments to practice expressing their opinions and ideas using real language. If students needed to build their vocabularies, there’s a whole other level of relevant, useful words they could have studied–instead of “pellucid” and “adumbrate.” (I still don’t know what those words mean.)

According to the New York Time’s article explaining the changes, The SAT’s rarefied vocabulary challenges will be replaced by words that are common in college courses, like “empirical” and “synthesis.” 

This quiet change could be one of the best things to happen to student writing in years! And for college admissions essays! Yippee! (Finally, the powers-that-be are advocating one of George Orwell’s famous rules on writing: ”Never use a long word where a short one will do.” 

Obscure words do not make good writing. Using words effectively–starting with the short, everyday and relevant ones–does. Of course, if someone has a fascination for obscure words and enjoys the process of expanding her or his vocabulary, that’s great. But the rest of us just need to learn how to use the words in the common vernacular first, and then build upon those. The goal of writing is to express, not impress.

I remember this practice back when I was in high school in the ’70s, and learned words like “obsequious” and “plethora.” But it seemed to get worse in recent years. The main academic quality revealed by students who test well with the SAT vocabulary was a keen memory. I’m grateful that someone seems to be championing more important qualities (critical thinking? creative expression?) for future tests. Major kudos to whoever you are!

As for all you erudite readers prone to *grandiloquence, well, you are just going to have to suck it up! Especially when it comes to writing an effective college admissions essay.

* Pompous or extravagant in language, style, or manner, especially in a way that is intended to impress

 

Here’s a list of the Key Changes from the Times‘ article:

These will be among the changes in the new SAT, starting in the spring of 2016:

■ Instead of arcane “SAT words” (“depreciatory,” “membranous”), the vocabulary definitions on the new exam will be those of words commonly used in college courses, such as “synthesis” and “empirical.”

■ The essay, required since 2005, will become optional. Those who choose to write an essay will be asked to read a passage and analyze the ways its author used evidence, reasoning and stylistic elements to build an argument.

■ The guessing penalty, in which points are deducted for incorrect answers, will be eliminated.

■ The overall scoring will return to the old 1,600-point scale, based on a top score of 800 in reading and math. The essay will have a separate score.

■ Math questions will focus on three areas: linear equations; complex equations or functions; and ratios, percentages and proportional reasoning. Calculators will be permitted on only part of the math section.

■ Every exam will include, in the reading and writing section, source documents from a broad range of disciplines, including science and social studies, and on some questions, students will be asked to select the quotation from the text that supports the answer they have chosen.

■ Every exam will include a reading passage either from one of the nation’s “founding documents,” such as the Declaration of Independence or the Bill of Rights, or from one of the important discussions of such texts, such as the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s “Letter From Birmingham Jail.”

 

Topic of Choice: Pretend It’s Still There

The Common Application folks announced a couple weeks ago that they will be keeping the same essay prompts for this college application season. If you use the Common App to apply to colleges this fall, you will have five prompts (or questions) to respond to with your college admissions essay. Before last year, students also had the option to simply pick any topic they wanted–but that was dropped last year. And it caused a big controversy in college app circles.

I was among those who thought the option to write about any topic should have been kept. But many people in the college admissions industry (mainly counselors from high schools and private admissions consultants) ultimately weighed in on the debate as a non-issue, since the five prompts are broad enough to allow almost any topic anyway.

And no one is making a stink this year, either, apparently for the same reason. I don’t want to make a stink, but I still see a huge value to having Topic of Choice added back into the prompts in the future. Yes, the five prompts are general, but there are many students who do not have anyone (like on-the-ball parents, friends, English teachers, or admissions counselors, etc.) advising them that they can actually write about whatever they want. The prompts are quite broad and therefore open to a lot of interpretation–and almost any topic would ultimately fly. But many students would simple read the instructions and follow them in a literal fashion–even if they have a better topic to write about. So for those students, why not put Topic of Choice back in?

If you are just starting the college admissions process, and thinking about or writing your essays already, at least now you know the inside scoop: Write about whatever you want, whatever makes an effective personal-statement essay. (And just keep reading this blog to learn exactly how to do that.) Chances are, your topic will line up with at least one of the five prompts, even if it’s a bit of a stretch. Of course, if any of those prompts inspire you, go for it! Just don’t let them keep you from writing about a great topic that helps you reveal who you are, how you think and what you care about.

Bottom line: Just imagine there’s a sixth prompt and it says “Topic of Choice.” And get cranking! (Check out my posts on Choosing a Topic in the post index in the column to the right.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hot College App Essay Tips from a Harvard Sophomore

I recently received an email from a student named Daniel Ryu, who is a sophomore at Harvard University. Daniel said he was stressed out his senior year of high school during the application process and had found my blog helpful. He offered to share what worked for him. No matter where you are aiming to get in, I would listen closely to what Daniel has to say. Obviously, it worked!

Here’s Daniel’s guest post:

4 Tips for the College Essay

So you’re a high school senior or maybe even a junior; the thought of applying to college has been on your mind for some time. It seems that every moment of your high school career has been building up to this point. Your GPA is mostly set and you are already involved in all the clubs and extracurriculars that you will ever join, at least in high school. There is now one thing that stands in your way. The college essay.

Below are some tips and guidelines that will help you write the ideal college essay: 

Answer the essay question. Each college essay prompt will probably ask something different of you. Be sure to read this prompt carefully and get a sense as to what it wants you to write about. Because many of these college essays are rather short, it is absolutely essential that you start your essay by immediately addressing the question.
Use anecdotes. Most of these college admissions officers who will be reading your work go through hundreds of college essays each day. In other words, they do not spend that much time on each essay. As such, it is important to capture and hold their attention during the few minutes that they will be reading. Make sure to use specific and personal stories as these stick with people. Also, use strong and vivid language that creates powerful images in people’s minds.
End lesson. With the college essays, it is crucial that you come to some kind of end goal or lesson. This lesson does not have to be extravagant, like “I want to achieve world peace in the next few years.” Rather, it has to be a personal and therefore rather intimate observation that shows who you are as a person. It is a way for the admissions officer to get to know the candidate.
Edit, edit, and edit. Once you are done writing, you have to edit your work over and over again. Go through your work with a pen and make edits. Afterwards, have your friends and maybe even teachers take a look and have them critique your work. The quality of these revisions will make for the best college essay.

Follow these tips and you are thinking about the college essay in the right way.

About the author: Daniel Ryu  was raised in Ridgewood, New Jersey, before attending Harvard College where he studies history and literature.  Currently, he is working for a legal consulting firm in Beacon Hill. 

 

Dumpster Words for College Application Essays

 

A couple weeks ago, I shared on LinkedIn a New York Times column about “annoying, overused and abused” words from 2013, and asked a group of college admissions experts for the most common offenders they found in college application essays.

The idea is that when you are editing a draft of your essay that you can try to spot words that don’t work, whether they were over-used, inaccurate, unnecessary, redundant or even not a word. And improve your essay.

When you first sit down to pound out your first draft, however, don’t even worry about what words you use. Just get it all out. This list is mainly for the process of self-editing, when you re-read your work and make changes to improve the clarity, flow and meaning.

These suggestions and the collection of “dumpster” words are from college admissions experts who shared their opinions based on what they have seen in their students’ essays over the years. The intention is that you can benefit from knowing what they have seen as the most common offenders so you can avoid them, if necessary.

Just because a word is on this list doesn’t always mean you shouldn’t use it. These are mainly the ones that pop up the most, and are worth double-checking to make sure you want to use them. 

I put in bold the actual words so they would stand out among these comments. A huge thanks to all the generous college admissions experts from the Linkedin Group, Counseling For The Rest of Us, who contributed to this list.

 FOR THE DUMPSTER

 

“Actually. ‘Actually is always redundant, actually.’”

–Bob Gilvey, Director at SelectPrep of NJ

 

“…live life to the fullest, 110%, my entire life, always, never.”

–Christel Milak-Parker, Owner, College Connections

 

“Avoid literally unless you literally mean it. Never use very unique or 110%. I could do without well-rounded. Show me well-rounded, don’t tell me. And I would stay away from selfie unless you use it in an interesting, self-aware context.”

–Michael Szarek, Assistant Vice President, Felician College / President and Founder; College Counseling for the Rest of Us

 

“Here are a few courtesy of a Facebook friend: “I nominate “toolbox,” “skill set” and “wheelhouse” whenever talking about job-related talents. Also “organic,” as in “our decision making process is really organic.”

I used to, back when aps were on paper, circle vague intensifiiers. “Very” is the one that pops up most. Essays strewn with ‘verys’ very often do not show anything. Very adds to the word count but let’s people avoid concrete nouns that describe rather than point. ‘No ideas but in things’ as the poet says.”

–Parke Muth, Founder at Parke Muth Consulting

 

“Thanks for sharing, but can we add “conversate” to that list please? I tell my students all of the time that “conversate” is not a word! You don’t conversate, you converse. Unfortunately, they don’t seem to believe me.”

 –Sonja Felton, Director of Graduate Support at Academy Prep Center of St. Petersburg

 

“Passionate, Legos, dream college, hard working, yolo, diversity, adversity, and a lot. I wish kids could just write freely about their experiences and lives without trying to fit mold.”

 –Purvi Mody, Experienced Educational Consultant, Writer, and Business Owner

 

 “…I recoiled when one of our colleagues just wrote “utilize” in a post rather than plain ol’ “use” – multisyllabic replacements for perfectly good plain words usually alternate between absurd and annoying.

 – Joyce Vining Morgan, College Counselor at Educational Transitions

 

“I agree with all of the cliches noted by my colleagues, especially “passion,” “skill set,” “amazing” and intensifiers in general, and I nominate “plethora” and “myriad” to join the list!

–Marilyn Morrison, Independent College Consultant at Morrison Educational Consulting

 

“Leadership“

–  Josh Stephens, Director of International Development at ArborBridge

 

“Passion. Completely overused in information sessions, writing prompts and essay responses.”

 – Yolando Tanner, CEO – N2CollegePrep

 

“The constant use of “like” in verbal conversations. I’m down with that.’”

–Susan Breon, President at Compass for College

 

“I agree with all of what’s been shared, though my greatest frustration is with students who refuse to write with the vocabulary they know and use, rather than the one provided by thesaurus.com. My favorite example this year was the phrase “tear-soaked handkerchief” used by one of my male students. I said, ‘Have you ever spoken that phrase aloud in your life? Because I never have and I don’t believe I’ve ever met anyone who has, except in jest or as a line from a play.’ Fortunately, my student agreed and understood.’

 – Kimberly Shepherd, Marketing | Counseling | Training | Social Media | Public Speaking | Non-Profit Management

 

“I am usually reading essays written by older applicants (in their mid-20s-early 30s) applying to business school, so I get a lot of “world class,” “like-minded peers,” and “skill set.” The only word I always delete from every single essay where it appears is “unique.” It is impossible for anyone to judge whether or not their experience is truly unique. And since admissions officers read thousands of essays every year, it is likely they will read another from someone with a similar background or experience. I mostly ask my clients to write clearly and not to fill the page with empty phrases. All those are best practices, you know

–Mennette Larkin, Co-Founder & Director at Admissions Unlimited

“Many transition words. Transitions between sentences are a holdover from Latin prose style, where most authors did consider them necessary. They are severely overused in modern English now that we no longer consider Latin to be an appropriate place to look for style maxims.” (examples of transition words: However, nevertheless, therefore, thus, etc.)

–Sally Elliot, Instructional designer/content writer/blended learning innovator

 

“Oops, another dumpster word maybe?”

–Kristin Borostyan, Creator of Straighten Up

   
“…my greatest frustration is with students who refuse to write with the vocabulary they know and use, rather than the one provided by thesaurus.com. My favorite example this year was the phrase “tear-soaked handkerchief” used by one of my male students. I said, ‘Have you ever spoken that phrase aloud in your life? Because I never have and I don’t believe I’ve ever met anyone who has, except in jest or as a line from a play.’ Fortunately, my student agreed and understood.’

 –Kimberly Shepherd, Marketing | Counseling | Training | Social Media | Public Speaking | Non-Profit Management

 

 

Help for College Transfer Students

My son is in the middle of transferring colleges. He planned to do this the entire time (an engineering 3:2 program), so it’s not that challenging or confusing. But I think there are a lot of transfer students who are trying to figure out their next school all by themselves–as well as write their college application transfer essays.

Unlike incoming freshman, transfer students typically are older, usually have a couple years of college and are expected to navigate this process largely on their own. But that doesn’t make it any easier.

In high school, most students are automatically matched up with counselors or their parents hire private college admissions counselors to help them through the process. For transfer students, it’s up to them to seek help, and if they can find the right person in the counseling office, that could make a world of difference. 

According to the National Association of College Admission Counseling, about one-third of college students will change schools–from both community colleges into four year schools, or from one four-year school to a different one. That’s a lot of students out there trying to figure it all out. So at least you aren’t alone!

I also believe that students who want to transfer either know exactly what they want next or they only know they want out of their current school. For those who know what they want next, good for you. That will make writing your essays, figuring out what credits transfer, etc., a lot easier. Your head is in it, and you are motivated. For students who just want to move on, and still are uncertain what exactly they want, this process can be that much more difficult.

My suggestion is that you make an extra effort to find outside help–either someone at your current school or even a private college counselor. Chances are you need more support–whether it’s sorting through the complicated options or simply to help figure out your life at this point. (For what it’s worth, I transferred college two times before graduating, and I know there can be some rough, lonely times in between.)

Here are some resources I have found helpful about the transfer process. (It’s kind of thin out there, but it’s a start.) Hope they help you, too!:

Transfer Students: Eight Things You Need to Know

Obama’s Lessons for Transfer Students

Firsthand Advice on College Tranfers

10 Tips For Prospective College Student Transfers

Lots of Helpful Articles Re Transferring

Four Tips for Transferring

I’m not a college counselor and only work with students on their college application essays. From my end of the process, writing the main essay for the Common Application can be VERY confusing. If you missed my post on how to write the main transfer essay, here is my take on how to think about whether to write one generic essay or tailor it to specific colleges:

NOTE: Although the Common App specifically directs students to write only ONE main transfer essay (on why they want to transfer and their objectives), some students opt to write multiple versions so they can tailor their answers to specific schools. (You obviously don’t want to say why you want to go to X school, if all your schools will read this one essay.) Most schools ask students to tell them why they want to go to their particular school in one of the supplements questions–so in general, you have a chance to talk about that (and it doesn’t matter if your main transfer essay is generic).

Some schools, however, only require the one main essay, so it’s up to you to figure out how to convey why you love their school and why it’s the best fit for you. Apparently, some students have been advised by some insiders of the college admissions community to customize their main essay, even though it totally disregards the directions in the Common App. (Just do a Web search on this and see the mixed messaging for yourself!)

MAN, IS THAT CONFUSING!! And until I hear otherwise, I would advise my clients to stick with one general essay, and not mention specific schools. Why would you not obey the directions? (Customize Your Common App “Why Transfer” Essay As Needed explains how to send in different versions of your main Common App transfer essay. Use it at your own risk.)

ATTENTION COLLEGE COUNSELORS: What do you advise regarding the transfer essay? Generic or custom? Would love to hear your opinions on this.

My guess–and it’s a TOTAL GUESS–is that these essays are not quite as important to gaining acceptance for transfer students as they are with incoming freshman. They are most likely more important if you want to transfer to a small college rather than a large university. I think if your grades are strong, that is an indication enough at that point that you could handle their school as well. That said, I don’t know why you wouldn’t try to write a terrific transfer essay, and reveal as much about your personality and character as possible–because you just never know what admissions folks care about when they read your application.

My point is that you definitely should put effort and some creativity into your transfer essays. But they aren’t worth obsessing over. The questions are more direct than those for incoming freshman, so for the most part, just answer them in a clear, honest fashion. If you do get creative (like use an anecedote), do it at the start of your essay to help engage the reader.

 

 

 

 

How to Find Your Essay Voice

 

Many students have trouble finding their “voice” while writing college application essays. One of the biggest problems I see is that students want to sound smart and impressive, and lose their natural story-telling voice by forcing in big words and long, formal sentences. Most students understand the narrative voice when they read it, but have a hard time capturing their own.

I always advise students to “write like they talk,” but this can be hard to do. Here’s a technique I use to help them capture their natural language to use in their essays. This is hard to do alone, but if you can rope someone else into helping you—a friend, teacher, college counselor, tutor, parent, etc.—it can be so helpful. 

What I do is ask students questions about their essay or topic, or even more general brainstorming questions, and then when the student says something that sounds good, I write it down. Sometimes, I will stop them in the middle of talking and read it back to them, so they can hear how natural, insightful or engaging their words sounded.

 

When students say what they think or feel without overthinking a point, it usually comes out in a way that captures their personality. When answering questions, they are more likely to use common language that reflects their individuality than those clunky SAT words that sound awkward and dull.

For example, I was helping my son brainstorm for a core essay he had to write for the Common App transfer essay requirement. He was writing about his interest in engineering. I asked him how he would describe himself, especially as someone who would make a good engineer. He told me things like, “I find that I’m good at getting my head around complex subjects” and that “When I’m excited about a project, I make a commitment to follow it through to the end.”

This type of language is perfect to use in these essays. If you can get someone to ask you related questions, and even write down some of your answers for you, you could capture some helpful phrases or sentences to use in your essay. The trick to the questions is to ask a broad question first, and then depending on the answer, try to follow up with a more specific question to dig down for even better quotes.

 

The questions vary depending on the topic you are writing about. But here are some sample questions to brainstorm core essays that are trying to learn about you. Note the way you follow up once a student gives an answer.

What are your core or defining qualities? (Answers: Creative. Innovative. Visionary…) Why do you think you are creative/innovative/visionary? How are you X? What types of X things have you done recently? Can you think of some examples of when you were X? How do you feel when you are X?

What are some of your interests or hobbies? (Answers: Fixing old trucks. Origami. Birdwatching. Indian dance. Doodling…) What inspired your interest in X? What do you learn from X? What qualities do you express with this interest or hobby?

 What do you think you will study in college? (Answers: Nursing. Art. Chemistry…) Why do you like X? What qualities or skills do you have that would make you effective at X? How did you develop those? Why are they valuable?

What kind of thinker or learner are you? How do you handle problems or challenges? What qualities help you solve or face them? Where did those qualities come from? Why are they valuable? Have they changed over time? Did anyone or any thing in particular inspire you to be this way?

Once you know the prompt or question, you can fashion questions that more directly address them, so your answers will be more helpful when you start writing your essay. What you are trying to capture are your answers, but more importantly how you express your answers and your unique way to presenting them. It’s as much about what you say as how you say it in your own words.

This is what creates your individual voice. It’s not that tuxedo talk that uses big words and tries to sound smart. When I ask my students questions like these, and they give an interesting answer, I will stop them and say: “Hear what you just said? Use those exact words in your essay!”

This approach is also very helpful when students are trying to craft an anecdote or relay a real-life moment to use in their essay. You need someone to ask you about the event, and keep asking questions to fill in any gaps and flush out interesting details. What happened? When did it occur? Where we you when it started? What did you do? How did you feel?

This is just one exercise on the brainstorming end of writing these essays. It has worked for me and many of my students. I hope it works for you.

 

How to Write Your Transfer Essay for the Common App

 

My son is a junior at a small liberal arts college in the Pacific Northwest. He’s doing what’s called a 3:2 engineering program, where students spend their first three years at a liberal arts college and get an undergraduate degree (my son: Chemistry)–and then transfer into a larger university for two more years to get a second undergraduate degree (my son: Chemical Engineering).

So guess what he gets to do this holiday season? You guessed it. Write a college application essay.

I thought this would be a good opportunity to share my approach to writing the main Transfer Essay required by schools that use The Common Application.  My son, though with great reluctance, agreed to be my guinea pig. I wanted to walk through the steps and chronicle the brainstorming/planning process.

We started by reviewing the prompt:  “Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.” (250-650 words) There are two main questions they want students to answer:

1. What are your reasons for transferring?

2. What objectives (goals) do you hope to achieve?

We agreed that the first part would take up most of the essay, about three-quarters. Unlike the regular Common App prompt for incoming freshman, this prompt was less open-ended, and wasn’t looking for a classic “personal statement” essay. It’s a direct question: Why do you want to change schools and attend a new school? Not a: “Who are you?” question.

The essay should try to answer the questions as directly as possible, and back up the main points with specific examples. Still, I believe students should use this essay as an opportunity to reveal their personality and individuality as much as possible. Students don’t need to use a narrative style, but I believe a story-telling format makes the best essays.

 

 

In a way, you are telling the “story” of your educational journey, and explaining a shift in your path. You describe where you started and why, how it went so far (current school) and what you learned there, what changed and why, what you intend to study (your major) at your next school, and what what you hope to accomplish there and in the future with that degree.  

Unlike incoming freshman, transfer students have a pretty clear idea of what they want to study. Most are required to select a major at this juncture. That in itself gives these a strong focus. I thought it would be a good idea to start the session with my son by flushing out some of his core or defining qualities that he thinks would make him effective in his chosen major: chemical engineering. Even if he didn’t include any of these ideas in his essay, I believe it’s helpful for students to have a sense of who they are and articulate those before starting to write.

 

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My son told me things, such as, “I find that I can get my head around complex ideas relatively quickly” and “I like to see how things work, but also want to know more, how they can be used in other ways.” I wrote down some of his statements, which he could refer back to later when he started writing. (Find Your Voice shows why you could benefit by having another person question you to help you capture your unique language for your essay, the same way I did for my son.)

With the “why transfer” question, you need to talk about what inspired your interest in your field, and how that evolved and developed over the years, and what eventually led you to seeking a new school. So I asked my son to think about some specific touch points in his life that sparked his interest in sciences, and specifically chemistry and engineering.

You don’t need to include all of these, but it helps to compile a short list. If your essay traces this progression, it will have a natural order that makes it simple to write: chronologically! My son remembered different experiments he did with various teachers over the years in both high school and college.

 

 

I also thought it was important to highlight the positive experiences he had at his current school, and then use those as a springboard to explain why he wanted more of those at his future school. Or maybe he wanted something different. The last thing you want to do is diss your current school. Keep it upbeat. List about 3-5 features of your current school. Then list a similar number of features that the new school will have.

Coming up with the positive parts of his current school was easy. The second part took a little more work: What objectives do you hope to achieve? Because your one main Common App essay will go to all your schools, you need to keep the answer general enough so it works for all the schools. So you should answer what objectives you hope to achieve at your next college or university, whichever it happens to be.

I would start by talking about the major you want to pursue there, and how you plan to join and support their academic and social community. It is very difficult to avoid broad, generic answers here, but do your best to be specific about what you want to do there related to your major and goal, how you will participate in various activities and opportunities there, and how you envision using your degree after graduation and in the workplace.

NOTE: Although the Common App specifically directs students to write only ONE main transfer essay, some students opt to write multiple versions so they can tailor their answers to this second question in the transfer prompt to specific schools. Most schools ask students to tell them why they want to go to their particular school in one of the supplements questions–so in general, you have a chance to talk about that (and it doesn’t matter if your main transfer essay is generic).

Some schools, however, only require the one main essay, so it’s up to you to figure out how to convey why you love their school and why it’s the best fit for you. Apparently, students have been advised to do this by insiders of the college admissions community, even though it totally disregards the directions in the Common App. (Just do a Web search on this and see the mixed messaging for yourself!)

MAN, IS THAT CONFUSING!! And until I hear otherwise, I would advise my client to stick with one general essay, and not mention specific schools in it. Why would you not obey the directions? (Customize Your Common App “Why Transfer” Essay As Needed explains how to send in different versions of your main Common App transfer essay. Use it at your own risk.)

To start my son’s main essay, we fished around for an anecdote (mini-story or real-life example). The idea was to find an incident, moment or experience that would SHOW the reader a key quality about my son, which he would then go onto explain how that drove his path toward his major and new school. His main theme turned out to be how he was the type of student who loved to learn new concepts, but was also eager to find “innovative” ways to use them.

This is just one way to approach this essay. It might not work for everyone. My son was unique in that he knew he would transfer when he started at his current school. But I think the approach of explaining the inspiration for your path–whether it’s art or business or biology-could work the same way. Even if you are making a radical shift, just explain why and go from there. As in all these essays, the admissions officers mainly want to hear how you think, what you value and that you have a plan.

Here’s What a Sample Outline Might Look Like

1. Introduction: An anecdote (mini-story/real-life example) showing what inspired your interest in your subject–what fired it up, or if it changed, what caused that shift.

2. Background: Take the reader back to some of your earlier experiences with your subject. Use specific examples.

3. Talk about your current school and what you got out of it. Give specific examples: focus on academics, but you could also mention other interests, social skills, etc.

4. Transition into the main reason you are ready to move on and into the new school. Maybe you liked certain things at your old school, but it had limitations and you wanted more. Maybe you changed, your interests changed, and the new school can serve those better than the first one. Back up your points with specific examples.

5. Objectives: Talk about what you want in your new school, or what you expect it will have to help you succeed. Focus your “objectives” around your intended major or field of study. Discuss what you hope to do both at the new school and after. What do you want to learn? What do you see yourself doing with your degree? Possible jobs/specialty fields? Additional schooling/training? (You don’t have to know; just mention a couple possibilities.)

6. Conclusion. (This might just be combined with number 5.) It never hurts to end with a sentence or two that projects your goals into the future. What do you believe a degree in your major will allow you to do to follow your largest dreams–not just for yourself, but for the world?

 More help for transfer students and their college application essays: 

Don’t miss my Help for College Transfer Students that has links to resources, advice and inspiration for transfer students!