Janine Robinson's Blog, page 21

Transfer Students: Help with Common App Essay

 

My son is a junior at The University of Puget Sound in Tacoma, Washington. He’s doing what’s called a 3:2 engineering program, where students spend their first three years at a liberal arts college and get an undergraduate degree (my son: Chemistry)–and then transfer into a larger university for two more years to get a second undergraduate degree (my son: Chemical Engineering).

So guess what he gets to do this holiday season? You guessed it. Write a college application essay.

I thought this would be a good opportunity to explore the main Transfer Essay required by schools that use The Common Application.  My son, though with great reluctance, agreed to be my guinea pig. I told him, “Just pretend you are one of my tutoring students.” I wanted to walk through the steps and chronicle the brainstorming/planning process so I could share them.

A couple days after Christmas, we sat down together. I could tell this was a form of torture for him. Writing a college app essay with your mom. Ouch.

We started by reviewing the prompt:  “Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.” (250-650 words) There are two main questions they want students to answer:

1. What are your reasons for transferring?

2. What objectives (goals) do you hope to achieve?

We agreed that the first part would take up most of the essay, about three-quarters. Unlike the regular Common App prompt for incoming freshman, this prompt was less open-ended, and wasn’t looking for a classic “personal statement” essay. It’s a direct question: Why do you want to change schools and attend this new school? Not a: “Who are you?” question.

The essay should try to answer the questions as directly as possible, and back up the main points with specific examples. Still, I believe students should still use this essay as an opportunity to reveal their personality and individuality as much as possible. Students don’t need to use a narrative style, but I believe a story-telling format makes the best essays.

 

 

In a way, you are telling the “story” of your educational journey, and explaining a shift in your path. You describe where you started and why, how it went so far (current school), what changed and why, where you want to go now (new school) and what what you hope to accomplish there and in the future.  

Unlike incoming freshman, transfer students have a pretty clear idea of what they want to study. Most are required to select a major at this juncture. That in itself gives these a strong focus. I thought it would be a good idea to start the session with my son by flushing out some of his core or defining qualities that he thinks would make him effective in his chosen major: chemical engineering. Even if he didn’t include any of these ideas in his essay, I believe it’s helpful for students to have a sense of who they are and articulate those before starting to write.

 

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It is so helpful to have someone ask students questions like this in person, because it gives them a chance to reflect and share their ideas and insights in everyday language. This approach works so well for all my students. When they speak their answers to me directly, they are so much different than what they would write down. They use language that is direct and real, rather than drawing on words they think sound impressive.

One trick I use is to try to help students capture some of their own language by stopping them when I hear something good, repeating the words and phrases back to them, or jot them down on paper for them to use later. If you have a college admissions counselor, tutor, parent, teacher or friend who could help you do this, it works wonders.

My son told me things, such as, “I find that I can get my head around complex ideas relatively quickly” and “I like to see how things work, but also want to know more, how they can be used in other ways.” I wrote down some of his statements, which he could refer back to later when he started writing.

My thinking with the “why transfer” question is that you need to talk about what inspired your interest in your field, and how it evolved and you developed that over the years, and what eventually led you to wanting to continue at this new school. So I asked my son to think about some specific touch points in his life that sparked his interest in sciences, and specifically chemistry and engineering.

You don’t need to include all of these, but it helps to compile a short list. If your essay traces this progression, it will have a natural order that makes it simple to write: chronologically! My son remembered different experiments he did with various teachers over the years in both high school and college.

 

 

I also thought it was important to highlight the positive experiences he had at his current school, and then use those as a springboard to explain why he wanted more of those at his future school. Or maybe he wanted something different. The last thing you want to do is diss your current school. Keep it upbeat. List about 3-5 features of your current school. Then list a similar number of features that the new school will have.

Coming up with the positive parts of his current school was easy. The second part took a little more work. We started at the Web site and looked for specific programs, opportunities, and qualities it has to offer. Most colleges will highlight specific ideas they are proud of, and it doesn’t hurt to reflect those in your essay if they link to your interests, personality and goals. The first school we looked at mentioned things like “innovation” and “entrepreneurship” and “professional network,” so we tried to think of activities that lined up with those concepts.

Finally, we fished around for an anecdote (mini-story) that my son could use to start his essay. The idea was to find an incident, moment or experience that would SHOW the reader a key quality about my son, which he would then go onto explain how that drove his path toward his new school. His main theme turned out to be how he was the type of student who loved to learn new concepts, but was also eager to find “innovative” way to use them.

In his introduction, he describe an experiment one of his chemistry teachers did in class where students made mini-clouds using water bottles, hot water and a match. My son relayed that experiment, and went on to say how he did not feel satisfied just learning how clouds worked, but wanted to know how this process could be used in things like fighting droughts or even global warming.

 

 

This is just one way to approach this essay. It might not work for everyone. My son was unique in that he knew he would transfer when he started at his current school. But I think the approach of explaining the inspiration for your path–whether it’s art or business or biology-could work the same way. Even if you are making a radical shift, just explain why and go from there. As in all these essays, the admissions officers mainly want to hear how you think, what you value and that you have a plan.

Here’s What a Sample Outline Might Look Like

1. Introduction: An anecdote showing what inspired your interest in your subject–what fired it up, or if it changed, what caused that shift.

2. Background: Take the reader back to some of your earlier experiences with your subject. Use specific examples.

3. Talk about your current school and what you got out of it. Give specific examples: focus on academics, but you could also mention other interests, social skills, etc.

4. Transition into the main reason you are ready to move on and into the new school. Maybe you liked certain things at your old school, but it had limitations and you wanted more. Maybe you changed, your interests changed, and the new school can serve those better than the first one. Back up your points with specific examples.

5. Talk about what you like in the new school. The more specifics you can give, the better: programs, professors, internships, courses, location, future jobs, networking, etc.

6. Objectives (this is the second part of that prompt): Talk about what you hope to do both at the new school and after. What do you want to learn? What do you see yourself doing with your degree? (You don’t have to know; just mention a couple possibilities.) This is your conclusion. Never hurts to end with a sentence or two that project your goals and dreams into the future.

 More help for transfer students and their college application essays:

Allen Grove, a college essay expert, provided these tips on writing transfer essays. And Rebecca Johnson, a college admissions counselor, wrote this helpful piece on the transfer process for the Huffington Post.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They Know When You’ve Been Naughty! Write Your Own Essays.

 

It’s almost Christmas Eve, just hours away in California. And we are coming upon another deadline–The Common Application–in January. If you are applying to colleges via the Common App, and you have yet to write your college application essays, I imagine you are starting to feel the heat of essay hell.

No use kicking yourself for waiting so long. I’m sure you have some good excuses. What does worry me, however, are students who might start to consider taking a “short cut.” Such as hiring one of those ubiquitous “Write Your Essay For You” online businesses that sell essays, or even worse, copying someone else’s. No matter how panicked you might feel at this point, it’s simply not worth it. For several reasons:

1. You could get caught. Yes, you might get away with it, but is it worth taking that risk? If they do bust you, forget any of the schools you applied to using The Common App. And I imagine your name would be mud the next time you tried as well. Also, you most likely will get found out and not even know it. How? Most college admissions officers can see through a phony essay after the first couple sentences. They might not call you out on it, but your essay will land in the “No Way” pile.

2. Essays written by someone else most likely suck. This is just a guess. I’ve never seen any of the ones people pay for. But I know how hard it is to write an effective college application essay–because the most important part is that it is unique. How can someone else write an essay that captures who you are and helps you stand out from everyone else–especially if they don’t even know you. Impossible. They are hard enough when you write your own!

All you would get would be a canned essay about a cliche topic–and chances are it would be poorly written and boring. Even if you just pounded out an essay off the top of your head in a half hour, I bet it would be way better than one you would buy. How? Because it will have your voice, and be about you. In my mind, these businesses are scams. What they offer has no value, promises a quick fix, and in fact, could hurt you. Don’t be a sucker!

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3. Last but not least, it’s morally wrong. Oh yea, that. I shouldn’t even have to remind you. If you still have trouble getting right and wrong mixed up, you are going to have a tough time lasting in college, even if you do get in somewhere. There’s a reason “Cheaters never win” is a cliche.

I believe in the time it would take to find and buy a cheater essay you could have written your own. Once you figure out a topic, it doesn’t need to take more than an hour or so to write a first draft. Try this Quickie Guide and I bet you will have something on paper in no time. Hang onto your money and dignity and just do it!

 

Believe in the Right Fit

 

The winter flurry of letters is landing in mail boxes around the globe this time of year. I just heard from three ecstatic students who learned last week they were accepted into their dream schools–one was Harvard, another Wellesley, and a third Middlebury. I felt excited and proud for them. But I will feel equally excited for my students who will soon learn they will be attending schools in our University of California system, whether it’s Berkeley, UCI or Santa Cruz, or other state universities such as UW, Boulder and U. of O, and especially those getting into the small liberal arts colleges no one has ever heard of, but are true gems.

And I also can’t help think about those who are getting those awful cryptic rejections in the mail at the same time. They can really sting.

But if you are still waiting to learn where you will be attending college (or are still working on your college application and essays), just know that you will land in the place that is right for you. It may not be that dream school, or the one you couldn’t wait to tell your friends about getting into. But chances are you will attend a school that you will end up absolutely loving. It’s all about finding the right match–kind of like shoes, if they don’t fit right, they will hurt your feet.

The point is when a student (or parent) pushes into a school for the wrong reasons, or lands in a school that’s not right for her for whatever reason, he or she often will be miserable, struggle and even have to return home–and start from scratch. One friend just told me her talented, brilliant daughter who started at UCLA this fall came home after 10 days. But I’m confident she, too, will get back on a track that is perfect for her.

Michael Szarek, a college counselor whose company is called College Counseling for the Rest of Us, recently shared a popular quote on LinkedIn:

 

“College is a match to be made, not a prize to be won.”

 

Amen to that! Another reason to not let rejections from prestige or reach schools ruin your day is that many of these schools would not have determined your future success anyway. Jay Matthew, author of one of my favorite college guides, Harvard Schmarvard, just wrote an article that supports the case that our top political and business leaders often came from schools that were considered sub-par by some. In fact, one research paper he quoted said that “except for low-income students, the selectivity of students’ colleges did not correlate with their success in life, as measured by income. More influential were what the researchers called “unobserved characteristics,” such as persistence, humor and warmth.

Matthews goes on to say–and pay attention everyone!–this is the best advice you will hear all year:

“It’s interesting that students usually develop these character traits long before they get to college. If you want to succeed, worry less about what college you get into and more about doing your homework, taking care of your chores and being nice to other people, as mothers have been saying for a long time. Whatever college accepts you, see it as a treasure trove of people and ideas that will lead you to a great life, maybe even a governorship, if that’s your dream. It is a very American story sometimes forgotten in our fashionable yearning for colleges that reject the most applicants.”

Of course, if you are on your way to Stanford, Yale or any of those elite institutions, way to go! But for everyone else, you are equally lucky and are about to have the time of your life! Just have faith in the path you are on and that it will lead you exactly where you need to go.

 

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One side note: I’m holding a college application essay writing contest, and plan to include the top 50 submissions in my upcoming college of sample essays, called “Heavenly Essays.” If you are interested in submitting your essay(s), please read Essay Writing Contest for details. Thanks!

“Enrich Our Diverse and Inclusive Community.” Say what?

 

Stumped by the University of Colorado Supp? Me, too!

I’ve had quite a few students this “season” who were flummoxed by the supplement for the University of Colorado. It kind of threw me a bit as well. But behind all that blah, blah, blah, I believe it was just another way of asking: Why Our College? or more specifically, Why YOU At Our College?

This is a common theme of many of the supplemental college application essays. And even though most students are pretty fried after writing their core essays, they shouldn’t overlook these supps and just give back a bunch of blah, blah, blah. It can be challenging, but it’s worth the time to find some tangible, specific and personal details to give your answer meaning and interest. I’ve bolded some key words in the official prompt to get you thinking of ways to respond:

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Essay B (required, 250 to 500 words).

“The University of Colorado Boulder’s Flagship 2030 strategic plan promotes exceptional teaching, research, scholarship, creative works, and service distinguishing us as a premier university. We strive to foster a diverse and inclusive community for all that engages each member in opportunities for academic excellence, leadership, and a deeper understanding of the world in which we live.

Given the statement above, how do you think you could enrich our diverse and inclusive community, and what are your hopes for your college experience?”

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It’s the first part of that question that seemed to confound us the most: “How do you think you could enrich our diverse and inclusive community?”

 

First, don’t get tripped up on the awkward wording of this question. Replace the word “enrich” with “contribute to.” Basically, they want to know how and what you will contribute to their college (which just happens to pride itself on being diverse and inclusive.) The main thing you are contributing is YOU! If you are unique and participate in unique activities, you will naturally contribute to their prized diverse community.

To answer this, I would talk about:

1. (Briefly) What you have done so far to develop your unique interests, talents and passion for specific topics (mainly those you intend to continue into college). Just pick a couple–this will keep your answer focused. These can be academic, extra-curricular or social (a mix is good.) Or you could focus on specific qualities that you have developed so far, and include examples of how you developed them. If you want to spin off key words in the prompt, leadership or creativity could be a good ones, as would qualities that reflect upon diversity or inclusivity. 

2. (Main Part!) And then go on to explain how you plan/hope to continue to pursue those at Boulder, as well as any other new ones you hope to pursue as well.

For point #2, you need to dig around to find details that link all these together. That is, you need to have specific examples of how you will do this, and why. These specifics will help make your answer meaningful and personal. Yes, this might take a little time, but look at this as another opportunity to set yourself apart from the pack.

Here are some places to look:

1. The school Web site. Look for courses, programs and opportunities that the school showcases that relate to your interests–both those you have already developed and even those you find intriguing. Check the course list for unusual classes; look for speaker programs; for internships, study abroad programs, work-study or other opportunities.

2. Check student life Web sites, such as College Prowler and College Confidential, which are loaded with insider details from real students about specific parts of their experience. You can source these in a casual way, saying, “From what I’ve read, Boulder is known for this and that, and that’s exactly what I want…” or “Boulder has a reputation for this and that, and I like that because…”

3. Get personal. If you have a friend or relative attending Boulder, ask them for details about what they like, and some activities they think you would like, or things you might not learn anywhere else. You could even track down acquaintances over Facebook or other social media sites, and just zip them an email with some questions.

4. Use Social Media as research tool. Follow The University of Colorado at Boulder on Facebook and Twitter. Search #universityofcolorado or check out @cuboulder or @mycuboulder (the admissions folks there) and @cuboulderalerts. Also, search Tumblr: There are many students who blog about college admissions.

5. Tours. If you were lucky enough to visit the school, think back to some things that stood out to you while walking around. You can quote something the guide told you, or something you saw while there (students working together with a professor in a chemistry lab, the types of (diverse) students you saw hanging out on the lawn, a cool new building, etc. Share your impressions as they relate to what you care about and want to participate in while at Boulder.

5. Google search. Conduct your own search around a specific area of interest. Put in search words for University of Colorado and some of those key words: leadership, clubs, opportunities, programs, study abroad, speaker program, study groups, support groups, etc. (narrow it by adding your interests: engineering, art, etc.)

6. The Inclusivity angle: When you mention something about one of your interests or passions, talk about how you plan to participate, but also how you are the type who also enjoys giving back, getting out the word, contributing and all that good stuff.

7. The Diversity angle: A good place to draw off would be your cultural background–this can be anything from a Southern California surfer who wants to experience a mountain environment or someone from India who wants to join the ethnic dance scene at Boulder. Another approach: share the interests, talents, qualities and experiences that show how you are unique–which will prove how your joining their community will enhance its diversity.

8. Learn some details about the surrounding community, the town or city. In this case, Boulder. Gather some details about the type of people who live there, (Google it!)  and talk about how you are a fit, or if not, how you want to learn more about how they are. (Progressive, outdoorsy, worldly, small town with big city vibe, etc…)

Of course, there’s often no getting around including some of the same generic information that everyone includes, such as loving the location, the class sizes, the diverse student body, the outstanding professors, its reputation in a certain field, etc. If you are thin on material, go ahead and use some of these points, but try to drill deeper and offer specific examples that support your points: a name, an interaction, an observation, a description, a title, etc. This is what will bump up your answer and take it out of the mind-numbingly boring category.

Admissions officers want to see your passion for their school, and giving examples that show that you have taken the time to truly learn about it–and thought about how you would fit into it–are a great way to demonstrate how much you care.

I would shoot for at least several hundred words addressing this part of the prompt, and then a hundred or so for the final part asking about your “hopes for your college experience.” Remember, you don’t have to know exactly what you want to do or achieve at this point. Just offer what you are thinking about at this point; share what interests you and how you see yourself pursuing that, or how you plan to try to figure that out.

Read my Why College X post if you are still hungry for help on these types of supps.

Good luck!

 

 

 

Essay Contest! Winners Will Be In My Book!

You Already Wrote It.

Why Not Submit it?

Enter Your College Application Essay

in Essay Hell’s Heavenly Essays Contest!

One of the first things I advise students to do when they start working on their college application essay is read sample essays. There’s no better way to get topic ideas and learn how to write in a narrative style than by reading what other students have written. I usually direct them to a couple of my favorite collections of sample essays.

But after working with hundreds of students on these essays since 2008, I realized I have a source of wonderful samples. You guys! Many of you wrote your essays using my advice and guidance to find and tell your stories. And I know first-hand how terrific most of them are. It seems a shame that only a few people ever got to read them.

Cash Prizes! Become a Published Author! Help Other Students! 

So…I’m starting to collect the best essays and publish them in a book this spring. It will be called Heavenly Essays: Sample College Application Essays That Rose to the Top. Do you like that? (I’m always open to suggestions!) Each essay will include a brief analysis of what I think worked, and why, at the end.

I will try to contact former students to see if they would be willing to share their essays, and get out the word to others who are still working on theirs. What I love is that your essays almost always included many of the writing techniques that I teach, including lively anecdotes, snippets of dialogue, sensory details, and a lot of grit. You also wrote about “mundane” topics, connected with readers through emotion and pathos, and “showed” more than “told” in your essays.

I also know many students have written great essays without my guidance, and I would love a chance to read and consider those as well. (I happily will give credit to whoever helped students on their essays, such as a private college counselor, tutor, teacher, parent, etc., if they want to share that.)

How to Enter the Heavenly Essays Contest

Email your essays to me, Janine, at EssayHell@Gmail.com. (Put Heavenly Essays Contest in the subject line.) Include in email:

1. Your first and last name

2. Your town/city and country

3. The essay prompt

4. The essay (attached as a Word file or copied into email)

5. College or university that you want to attend, or will attend, or currently attend.

6. Optional: Indicate who helped you with your essay, such as private college counselor, tutor, teacher, etc. (and I will give them credit in the book as well.)

The essays can be core essays for The Common Application, major universities or other schools, or transfer or supplemental essays.

I hope to publish about 50. By submitting your essay to this contest, you are giving me permission to publish it in my book, Heavenly Essays. I will only respond to your submission if I select your essay to be in my book, and/or if you are one of the prize winners.

Prizes!

I will pick my three top favorites, and the decision will be totally subjective (up to me):

First: $100 Amazon Gift Card

Second: $75 Amazon Gift Card

Third: $50 Amazon Gift Card

Everyone else who gets picked: You get to be in the book!

Feel free to ask any questions in the comments box (That way, others’ questions might be answered, too.) Other rules: You need to be 18 years or older to enter. Contest ends at the end of February. Winners announced in March.

Good luck! And I really appreciate any of you who take the time and effort to share their essays with me–and possibly the world!

 

 

Don’t Let UC Deadline Ruin Your Turkey Day!

 

If you are applying to the University of California schools, you have until the end of this month. As busy seniors, some of you might have waited to write your essays over Thanksgiving, when you have some days off and can catch up. Yes, it would be better if you already had them in, but there is still time.

The key, however, is to not let this last minute deadline dash ruin your Thanksgiving. The holiday comes late this year–Nov. 27–so it’s closer to the Nov. 30th deadline than ever. So yes, you are really cutting it close. If you don’t have a plan, it could hang over your head the entire holiday weekend.

To not let these essays ruin one of the best times of the year–when you are supposed to be feasting with your family, watching football games and focusing on all you have to be grateful for–take a few minutes to map out a plan. These essays don’t have to take days and days to write. If you can latch on to some strong topic ideas, and then pound out a rough draft, you could crank them out in a matter of hours.

But if you just keep procrastinating, finding reasons not to work on these Wednesday (because, hey, you deserve some down time), and then Thursday (because, hey, this is the big day and you are so stuffed now you can’t think and it’s time for a nap), and then Friday (your friends come up with some fun idea to go out and you tell yourself you still have all Saturday…) you could find yourself staring at a blank computer screen that night, feeling mad at yourself for waiting so long and trying not to panic.

Instead, figure out your free days, and map out a couple blocks of time. If you have Wednesday off, that’s your best day. Give yourself two hours in the morning to come up with topics, and write out a rough draft for one of the two prompts. Then block out two more hours that afternoon or evening to write out another draft for your other essay.

There, you will have two drafts. Almost there! Then, do nothing on Thanksgiving, unless you suddenly get in the mood, or didn’t quite get to those first drafts. Block out two more hours either Friday morning or afternoon to review what you have written, and cut out the bad stuff, add some more good stuff, read it out loud, go through a final editing checklist, etc.

From what I understand about the application system, lots of kids wait until the last minute, and often, the system gets glitchy and it can be frustrating and hard to turn in your application. So avoid this last minute rush as much as possible. Ideally, submit your application well before the final weekend. But above all, avoid Saturday, and especially Saturday night.

Of course, if you can start on these essays NOW, you will be that much further along, and won’t have to spend any of your precious Thanksgiving dealing with them. If you do wait, just stick to your plan and it will all work out!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

 

Don’t Forget to Laugh–After You Push the Button

 

My friend Jill sent me this cartoon this morning. I know she’s a really good friend because she endures my stories about college application essays even though both her two kids already landed in two great colleges. No one likes these essays. As far as I can tell, there’s a short window where students and their parents suddenly want to know everything about how to write a good one, but after that closes (the moment they push the submit button on their apps), they never want to think about them again.

And I don’t blame them. There’s just too much pressure to write something amazing without much help. And there are really no shortcuts. The best thing is to learn as much as you can about how to write this type of essay (yes, you are one of the lucky ones and have found the best source–HERE!–on how to write a kick-ass narrative essay, if I do say so myself.), and then pound out a rough draft. Get some outside help if you need it, but just start writing, then polish it up and send it out.

Yes, it feels great to get it out of your hair, off your plate and out of your college-obsessed brain. But it will feel even better if you have taken the time to find a great topic, write your essay in an engaging style and made sure it was clear, error-free and under the word count. If you are in the thick of your applications and your fingers are itching to punt that essay off your desktop, take a moment to remember how hard you have worked to reach this point. Let it ferment a while longer, come back and re-read it when you are in a better state of mind, make some changes and it will continue to get better. If you really hate it, consider finding a better topic!

Deadlines are looming. Those of you working on your University of California essays (deadline: Nov. 30!), keep plugging away. Do not wait until days or hour sbefore the end of the month. Things get glitchy when everyone waits until the last minute: Get yours in as soon as possible!

Once everything is in and done, then you can sit back and have a laugh, or go see Thor or Catching Fire or (my current fav) Dallas Buyers Club, or sleep past noon. Until then, keep cranking away. You will never regret the extra effort you spend toward landing in your dream school. (Even if you may never want to remember these crazy days again…)

 

A Peek into the Many Worlds of Prompt 1 of the UC Essays

 

About three years ago, I wrote a post to try to help students applying to the University of California find topics to answer Prompt 1 for their college application essay: Describe the World You Come From. Since I shared my advice in my Describe the World You Come From post, I have received more than a 100 comments from students. Most have specific questions, mainly trying to see if their idea of a “world” would make a great essay.

Since then, I tried to answer most of their questions. This year, I am so swamped with tutoring students, however, that I’m not able to answer all the questions right now. But I have noticed that many cover the same ground–even though the topics range from someone’s world of books, to playing tennis, to making cookies, to an ill family member, etc. So I pulled some of the questions that I thought are more common, along with my answers, in hopes they might answer questions still lingering out there. See below.

Most students say they feel stuck. Or they have an idea, but wonder if it’s really a world or if it’s too general or interesting enough for their essay. If that’s one of your concerns, I would suggest reading some of the Q&As below, and see if you find them of help. If you want to read more of these, just go to that Describe the World You Come From Post and scroll to the bottom–at last count there were 228 comments (including my replies). Even if you don’t have a specific question, just skimming through these comments is a great way to search for ideas for your own topics!

Also, I have this Brainstorm the World You Come From post and this Show The World You Come From post to help you write your essay in a narrative style.

November is a big month for the UC application season, since these are due for undergraduates by the end of this month. You still have plenty of time, but the sooner you get cracking the better!

Here are some of the comments/questions from students and my answers. (I put the topic ideas in bold.) Remember, I’m just giving you my best opinion, so trust yourself when deciding what to write about. This is your world and your essay!

Erica: Hi, for the “world I come from” prompt, how specific can I get? I was thinking about writing about my hobby of drawing faces and how that connects to me. But I’m not sure if this is even answering the question.)

Me: Your topic idea of writing about your hobby drawing faces is an excellent one, but not necessarily for this prompt. It would be a better choice for a prompt that asks you to describe a hobby, a passion, an accomplishment, that type of thing (more of a personal statement or Prompt #2 for UC app.).For this prompt, you are looking for a larger “world” or community that influenced you. If you loved drawing faces in a special place, such as an art room at school or a sun porch in your house, you could describe that as your world, and then go on to talking about how this “world” has shaped your love of art, etc. (Other words to think about instead of your “world” could be “community,” “environment,” “space,” or “habitat”–I believe it needs to somehow be a place, either literally or figuratively.) Hope this helps!

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Aditya: For the “world I come from” prompt, I just don’t understand exactly what it wants me to answer. I come from an Indian Family who doesn’t go to temple much but is deeply connected with my roots. I am very social and active in school, however I feel at peace with all the craziness that goes on in my life when I play Carrom (Indian Board Game) which I learned from my grand father. Could that be a good topic for this prompt?

Me:  Yes, your playing Carrom to find peace and connect with your roots would make a perfect topic for this prompt. What you want is to focus in on a piece of your “world”–such as this game–and then describe what it means to you and your development. I would start by recreating a moment of yourself playing the game: “It was my turn. I slid the round, red game piece over to the next square. Then I looked at my grandfather, who was pondering his next move….”, and then mention how it makes you feel, why it makes you feel that way, what it has taught you, not just about that game, but about life! In this prompt, you must remember not only to show the world you come from (which you will do by sharing this game and tradition), but the second part–describe how it has “shaped your dreams and aspirations.” If you talk about what you learned from this tradition, you also must include how you intend to use the values or lessons from this tradition in your future, that is, what you hope to do and accomplish. It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers–go ahead and say that if you want–but at least touch on the idea of how you hope to apply them in your future endeavors as best you can. Congratulations! You have a wonderful topic here!! Now you just need to pound out a rough draft!! Best of luck! Janine

* * *

Courtney: For the first prompt, I was thinking of writing about my volunteering at Girl Scouts and at a tennis program. Is that okay for this prompt?

Me: Hi Courtney, You can write about volunteering at Girl Scouts (that’s definitely a “world”) but the trick is to focus on something specific that happened, and then describe what you learned from that small experience. Make sure to also talk about how you would use the lessons you learned in your future endeavors. (Remember, this prompt has two parts, and the second asked how your world “shaped your dreams and aspirations.”) Good luck!


* * *





Amit: Hi, I’d like to ask you your opinion on a couple of the topics I brainstormed. I’m not sure if they fit the categories described under this prompt. My first idea was to write about a social phobia I had and how it was an obstacle in my life and how I overcame it. The problem with it is that I’m not sure if it is categorized under my world. My second idea is about a volunteering experience I had at a food bank I volunteer at. Would this fit the prompt better?

Me: I believe a social phobia can definitely be a “world,” in that it can deeply affect your life. I think this could be a powerful topic. My advice would be to think of “a time” when you were dealing with this phobia and describe that first, then go on to explain the phobia and how you have handled it–and most importantly what you learned from dealing with it. Finally, don’t forget at the end to include how it “shaped your dreams and aspirations” for the future. The other topic–volunteering to help the needy–as wonderful as that it, typically leads to a more cliche essay. If nothing else, it’s over-done. Of course, if something life-affecting for you happened during this experience, it could be a great topic.


* * *


Shreya: Hi janine, I kind of have an idea about what to say for the ”World i come form ” essay, but I’m not a 100% sure how to say it.from a very young age, I have watched my grandmother make these Indian sweets called “gulab jamuns”. The entire process of watching her make them, to eating them is something that is very personal to me and I feel resembles the life I wish to lead in the future. I am a big foodie, but i think this is one memory I would like to focus on- do you think i should go through with it?

Me: You totally get it!! Yes, focus on that one memory, and then expand upon what it meant to you, and highlight some values that have shaped you to this day. You could start with a simple anecdote (see my post on How to Write an Anecdote) that would “show” us “a time” your grandmother made these sweets with you. Include what they look like, smell like, feel like, taste like, and how they make you feel–so much wonderful fodder for descriptive writing. (The challenge is condensing that moment into about a paragraph or two at the most. One tip: Start in the middle of the action.) But after the anecdote, then you must explain to us what this interaction meant to you, what you learned from it, and how those lessons “shaped your dreams and aspirations” for the future. Best of luck!

* * *

Nakul: Hi. I’m really stuck on this prompt and the only thing that i can think of is talking about when my dad bought and uses the computer, he is so dumbstruck my it, that i want to work to better the task of using a computer. Do you think this could for the prompt?

Me: Yes, this could be a wonderful topic. Is the “world” you are describing that of technology? If you started with an anecdote or description of “a time” your dad struggled with his computer and how you tried to help him, that could illustrate your main point about the generation gap in your world. Then go on to talk about how you help or deal with your dad, how you feel about the tensions there, and what you learned in dealing with them. And don’t forget to discuss how you will apply those lessons in your future “dreams and aspirations.” Boom. Great essay!




* * *

Hussam: Hey Janine. I’m finding this essay really difficult to answer. During my brainstorm sessions for a topic I came up with two idea: 1) Dinosaurs and 2) Automobiles. I have a passion for both, and the latter one made me decide to major in Mechanical engineering (not in the automotive specialization anymore though), however, I’m unable to define a particular ‘world’ that made me come to become a dinosaur/car fan.
I’ve always loved dinosaurs since I was a kid because of movies like Jurassic Park and The Land Before Time, and well, I would always buy dinosaur toys and half of my book collection is on paleontology and prehistoric animals. How would I be able to define ‘world’ in this context? I know for sure that one of my dreams is to visit as many museums with dinosaur exhibits as possible.
As for cars, I became fond of them when I moved to the UAE when I was 10, and it was essentially automotive haven. It was around that time that I also got into racing games and whatnot too, but again the trouble comes in defining ‘world’.

Me: Hi Hussam, I think you could write a great essay about your passion for dinosaurs. But first, I think you need to explore what it is about dinosaurs that intrigues you. The essay needs to be mainly about you. What core quality do dinosaurs bring out about you, or do they represent to you? Your interest in them could totally be a world! When you learn about them, aren’t you travelling back to another world, time, place? Pick “a time” or example of when you learned something about dinosaurs, whether at a museum or even a t.v. show and describe that moment (be specific, include descriptive details), and then background your interest in dinosaurs and what you have learned about your life and life in general from hanging out with them. What is it about the ancient world of dinosaurs that you love so much? Once you hit on that, share an example of a time you were in that world, and go from there. Good luck! It’s a great topic–you just need to use specific examples to illustrate the main point you make about dinosaurs and your passion for them. JR

 One more thing, Hussam. Another way to focus this essay about dinosaurs is to pick one dinosaur that particularly interests you, and again, explore why that is and what it says about you. Then expand the essay to all dinosaurs, etc. It’s important to focus essays, otherwise they get too general and boring.  


* * *

Emily: Wait, I am so confused. Should I be using an anecdote for this topic? I thought an anecdote would be more appropriate for the second essay prompt on the UC application. I’m writing about being a peer educator at Planned Parenthood.

Me: An anecdote is just a short description of something that happened, often called a “mini-story.” They are often used at the beginning of essays like these to give the reader an example of your main point, and engage them by putting them right in the moment. You can use this technique in one or both essays–it’s up to you. I like them because they not only work as strong “hooks” for the reader, but also cast your essay in a narrative (which means story-telling) style and tone. Who doesn’t love a good story? But it’s totally fine to start your essay in another style, if that works better for you. I have posts about how to write anecdotes under the topic listing at the right of this blog, if that helps.
As far your topic about being a peer educator at Planned Parenthood, I think an anecdote could work well. You could start by describing a little incident or experience you had while working with a woman there, and use that as the springboard to explain what you learned. But it’s totally your call as to what works best for the points you want to make about yourself in your essay. You could not use any anecdotes in your UC essays, or use an anecdotal introduction in just one, or in both. There are no rules; just what works best for you. Hope this clears up your confusion a bit! JR



* * *

Cynthia: Hi Janine, One of my passions is hair dying. I have an unusual hair color that really stands out, and i have had several different colors. Could I write an essay on this and how it has helped me to embrace my uniqueness/creativity? Or does this make me seem superficial? My other idea was to write about my culture, with my parents both being from europe, but i don’t know how to make that a specific “world”.

Me: I think your passion with dying hair could make a colorful essay. Haha! Seriously, it would mainly depend on what you had to say about hair dying and how it was a “world” for you. I believe there could be many life metaphors to hair dying, and that you could expound upon those. YOu need to decide what exactly you want this essay to say about you. I think the idea of personal expression and how you found the courage to explore that and step out as your unique, bold self could be a great essay. Maybe start be describing one of the first times you went for a crazy color, how you felt at first, the results, how you felt about them, and the reaction from friends/family—and then analyze that experience, and what you learned. Make sure include how your new sense of self will affect your future dreams/aspiration–or life goals. Good luck! JR

* * *

Sandrine: Hello! I find this article to be very helpful; after reading my response to the question, I realized that I was being way too general, so I tried to focus on specific experiences, but couldn’t really find any. I am a reader and a writer, so would talking about a particular world that a book takes place in (for example, the world in S.E. Hinton’s books The Outsiders and That Was Then, This Is Now) and how that has affected me in real life be appropriate for this prompt? Because the books have really impacted me, and even helped me with my depression. Thank you!

Me: Hi Sandrine, YES, I believe books can create a world, absolutely! I think you are wise to focus in one one book, or one author, or even one place in a book, that has felt as though it transformed you into a different world. I would think about how specifically books have created a world for you, and what quality of yours they have helped your develop (“shaped”). Then I would think of an example from a book you read that you could recreate with your introduction to put us in your place when you are being transformed to that other world (creative writing opp!! see my posts on how to write anecdotes!! Let us see how even a small piece of a book can change how you think, feel, etc.) Then you can talk about how that book and then work in how other books have created a world, and then go into how they have shaped you–and end with how you will continue to use that quality in your future. The key is to get specific, and use those specific examples to support the point you are making about your world and what it means to you. (Yes, explaining how these books have helped you cope with the “real” world could make a nice twist! Good luck! (Thank God for books, right!!) JR

Admissions Officers From Select Colleges Confirm They Want Stories!

Tips for Writing Essays

College Admissions Folks Want to Read

 

While trying to think of topics for college essays, students often try to guess what the admissions officers are looking for, or what they want to read. It often feels like such a mystery. But in a recent news article, three top admissions officers shared exactly what they like to read, and how students can find topics they love.

For those of you still doubting the value of a simple, true-life story or sharing a mundane moment to power your college application essay, I hope this will help convince you about their effectiveness.

Read the entire article, From the Pros: Best College Essays Hint at Who You Are, by Ellen Ishkanian of the Boston Globe. Or check out some of the following highlights.

After considering the transcripts–the “course rigor,”  how students did in those challenging courses, and test scores–admissions often was all about the essay:

“Then, all things being equal, an essay can tilt the balance in either direction, especially at the more selective schools.”

Here are some of the nuggets I lifted from the article shared by the admissions officers on their decision process. I hope it’s not too annoying, but I highlighted the points that corroborate the advice I’ve been sharing on this blog:

John Mahoney, director of undergraduate admissions at Boston College, has a few words of advice for high school seniors working on their essay: Keep it simple. Tell a story.

“Create an image for me so I get to know the person behind the transcript,” he said. “I want to feel the heartbeat.”

* * *

“The essay lets us know, who is this person behind the numbers? Will they contribute?” Mahoney said.

At selective schools, applicants are often very similar in academic achievements and extracurricular activities. In these cases, essays take on added importance, they said.

“We parse it for clues about what this student will be able to contribute beyond their academic prowess,” Mahoney said.

* * *

Jennifer Desjarlais, dean of admission and financial aid at Wellesley College agreed, saying sometimes essays affirm an application, and sometimes “the essay is a plot twist,” causing them to take a closer look at the applicant.

“We care about learning who you are as a person; this is a very human process,” she said. “You don’t need to impress us through an accomplishment with your essay.”

Desjarlais noted that she always leaves the essay to the end, reading it only after she has looked over the entire application package.

“I’ve learned about [the applicant] from lots of other pieces of information in the file, and this is my opportunity to hear about her from her, in her own words,” Desjarlais said.

Don’t worry about trying to impress the admissions office through a grand experience or accomplishment.

And you definitely don’t have to have suffered through adversity to be able to write a poignant essay, the admissions officers say.

“Make it personal, and authentic, and well written,” said Desjarlais. “Write about what you know. It is the little details that can be most revealing.”

Desjarlais described a seemingly simple essay in which a student wrote about her daily 20-minute rides to school with her father, listening to National Public Radio.

“It was a wonderful window into her relationship with her father, it was insightful, it told a real story of who this woman was,” she said.

And perhaps most importantly, it didn’t try too hard.

“It was honest,” she said. “We’re looking for an experience that had an impact, and she was able to describe how these rides to school had an impact on her life.”

* * *

The reporter who interviewed these admissions counselors and wrote the article also culled 15 College Essay Tips from her own article. At the top: 1. Tell a story about yourself that will give the admissions office a sense of who you are.

I especially appreciated Mahoney’s point that these essays can show admissions officers what students can contribute to their schools. To me, this should encourage students to try to find topics that will reveal things about themselves that officers would not find out about in other parts of the essay. And also to find a story that showcases a core quality. Wouldn’t you believe someone who revealed in their essay that they were generous, empathetic, passionate, focused, a leader, creative, etc., would have great things to “contribute” to a college?

But how, exactly, do you “Tell a story”? Or find a “simple story?” Or look for a great topic or story if it doesn’t include a great accomplishment or suffering through great adversity?

Start with my Jumpstart Guide, and read posts about Mundane Topics, Anecdotes and How to Tell a Story. And of course, my book, Escape Essay Hell!, walks you step-by-step through the process of finding a topic, and telling a story using narrative writing techniques.

 

 

 

Three Top Admissions Officers Confirm They Want Stories!

Tips for Writing Essays

College Admissions Folks Want to Read

 

While trying to think of topics for college essays, students often try to guess what the admissions officers are looking for, or what they want to read. It often feels like such a mystery. But in a recent news article, three top admissions officers shared exactly what they like to read, and how students can find topics they love.

For those of you still doubting the value of a simple, true-life story or sharing a mundane moment to power your college application essay, I hope this will help convince you about their effectiveness.

Read the entire article, From the Pros: Best College Essays Hint at Who You Are, by Ellen Ishkanian of the Boston Globe. Or check out some of the highlights here:

After considering the transcripts–the “course rigor,”  how students did in those challenging courses, and test scores–admissions often was all about the essay:

“Then, all things being equal, an essay can tilt the balance in either direction, especially at the more selective schools.”

Here are some of the nuggets I lifted from the article shared by the admissions officers on their decision process. I hope it’s not too annoying, but I highlighted the points that corroborate the advice I’ve been sharing on this blog:

 Boston College

John Mahoney, director of undergraduate admissions at Boston College, has a few words of advice for high school seniors working on their essay: Keep it simple. Tell a story.

“Create an image for me so I get to know the person behind the transcript,” he said. “I want to feel the heartbeat.”

and

“The essay lets us know, who is this person behind the numbers? Will they contribute?” Mahoney said.

At selective schools, applicants are often very similar in academic achievements and extracurricular activities. In these cases, essays take on added importance, they said.

“We parse it for clues about what this student will be able to contribute beyond their academic prowess,” Mahoney said.

 Wellesley College

Jennifer Desjarlais, dean of admission and financial aid at Wellesley College agreed, saying sometimes essays affirm an application, and sometimes “the essay is a plot twist,” causing them to take a closer look at the applicant.

“We care about learning who you are as a person; this is a very human process,” she said. “You don’t need to impress us through an accomplishment with your essay.”

Desjarlais noted that she always leaves the essay to the end, reading it only after she has looked over the entire application package.

“I’ve learned about [the applicant] from lots of other pieces of information in the file, and this is my opportunity to hear about her from her, in her own words,” Desjarlais said.

Don’t worry about trying to impress the admissions office through a grand experience or accomplishment.

And you definitely don’t have to have suffered through adversity to be able to write a poignant essay, the admissions officers say.

“Make it personal, and authentic, and well written,” said Desjarlais. “Write about what you know. It is the little details that can be most revealing.”

Desjarlais described a seemingly simple essay in which a student wrote about her daily 20-minute rides to school with her father, listening to National Public Radio.

“It was a wonderful window into her relationship with her father, it was insightful, it told a real story of who this woman was,” she said.

And perhaps most importantly, it didn’t try too hard.

“It was honest,” she said. “We’re looking for an experience that had an impact, and she was able to describe how these rides to school had an impact on her life.”

The reporter who interviewed these admissions counselors and wrote the article also culled 15 College Essay Tips from her own article. At the top: 1. Tell a story about yourself that will give the admissions office a sense of who you are.

I especially appreciated the idea that these essays can show admissions officers what students can contribute to their schools. To me, this should encourage students to try to find topics that will reveal things about themselves that officers would not find out about in other parts of the essay. And also to find a story that showcases a core quality. Wouldn’t you believe someone who revealed in their essay that they were generous, empathetic, passionate, focused, a leader, creative, etc., would have great things to “contribute” to a college?

But how, exactly, do you “Tell the story”? Or find a “simple story?” Or look for a great topic or story if it doesn’t include a great accomplishment or suffering through great adversity?

Start with my Jumpstart Guide, and read posts about Mundane Topics, Anecdotes and How to Tell a Story. And of course, my book, Escape Essay Hell!, walks you step-by-step through the process of finding a topic, and telling a story using narrative writing techniques.