Himmilicious's Blog, page 10

रुकावटें ज़रूरी हैं सँभालने के लिए.. जरूरी नहीं सँभालने के लिए रुकना पड़े..

है सफ़र कठिन और पथरीली ये डगर
तू फक्र कर इस बात पर तेरे कई हैं हमसफ़र
बेच कर खुद को है तूने दूसरो का सब सहा
मूक बैठे थे सभी फिर थाम तूने सच कहा
चल चला चल तू सफ़र पर,
लक्ष्य एक साध कर,
कर विजय,
कर-कमलों की बाधाएं तू त्याग कर,
फिर उठेगा बुझ गया गर,
तू भास्कर होकर नवीण
बन पथिक , अथक, अटल,
रुकना कभी ना तू "प्रवीण"
टूट जाए सैंकड़ो बार भी
तू हार भी, सह वार भी
देख कैसे पलट जायेंगे तब
कुछ हमसफ़र- कुछ यार भी
हाथ थामे संग चलेगा
बस तेरे ही लक्ष्य पर
हमसफ़र अपना ही बन जा
होगा हुजूम फिर साथ ही
सैंकड़ो टुकड़े चुभेंगे पाँव पर
कभी घाव कर, छलाव कर
है सफ़र बुलंदी का पर
गली कूचों से निकलेगी नहर
वो नन्ही चींटी गर बैठ जाती
थक हार कर
कभी ना देते तुम मिसालें
उसकी हमें, हर बात पर
चल चला चल तू सफ़र पर,
लक्ष्य एक साध कर,
कर विजय,
कर-कमलों की बाधाएं तू त्याग कर,
फिर उठेगा बुझ गया गर,
तू भास्कर होकर नवीण
बन पथिक , अथक, अटल,
रुकना कभी ना तू "प्रवीण"

To giveaway whatever you have..

After long.. very long.. maybe because I have accepted.. Believe in Karma, Have faith in God, accept the pain you're going through.  be thankful that he chose you for the sufferings because he wants to see you somewhere.. you just keep making efforts, and don't quit fighting. it's okay not to be strong enough to face the situation when each moment and everything pushes you to the edge to quit and accept your defeat, find the ray of hope..  GIVEAWAY the kind of LOVE you want to others   becausee you understand the worth and need of love, support and the warmth of hug somebody needs when in pain since you have been there and gone through it.

The sufferings either make you a monster or make you human but the choice is yours because somewhere down the line you're the reason of your own miserable situations..
..and you will suffer till you seek dependence, somebody to come and lift you in arms, be your crutches.. 
meanwhile you're crippled and regretting for the loss giveaway the left over love, hope and strength you have in yourself and be empty..

Being empty is far more better than being lost. let go and let God.. You need not forgive and forget what you're going through, been through all you have to do is accept it positively as a part of your processing.
you're tortured, hammered, beaten, broken, crushed down to dust because the process is painful being into the furnace..

just imagine the first ray of light when you will cross the dark and lost alley, the feeling of being content, serene and relieved.. yes, you have to keep moving on.. and on.. and on.. because these kind of furnaces, dark alleys, purgatory would be countless in your way since your aim is to WIN.. over the world, over the foes, over the pain, over YOURSELF..

to conclude my vent of lazy sunday morning ranting I'd quote Shri Harivansh Rai Bachchan ji

वृक्ष हो बड़े घने
एक पत्र छाँव भी मांग मत
तू ना रुकेगा कभी
तू ना झुकेगा कभी
तू ना थकेगा कभी
कर शपथ कर शपथ कर शपथ
अग्निपथ अग्निपथ अग्निपथ..

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Trolversation

How does it feel to be a writer?
Me: idiotic
Umm.. and to work with corporate houses?
Me: pathetic
Oh!! And being a scholar and into academics?
Me: I feel like an asshole.. complete asshole! waste!
What lol.. you're funny.. what's your future plans?
Me: finding sexual poses to pregnant a man, trying to make amendments in kamasutra!
Woah!that's bold!! How do you speak so blunt? And why?
Me: because I am an idiot and I feel pathetic since I have wasted my life being a scholar and I technically get brainscrewed in corporate!!
Lol! You're good in concluding.. by the way I am a doctor- intern in safdarjung.
Me: I feel sorry for you!
Sorry??
Me: yes! Me too!!
That's rude!
Me: Raw.. that's raw..
Lol.. okay.. so what else you do?
Me: I capture medical interns, confuse their logic till they pull their hair , calm them down with chloroform, take them into a dark alley and eat their brain. The best part of me- I don't have to open their skull.
Hahahahaha..
Me: do you know brain tastes like Nutella?
Lol what! That's too much..
Me: see! That's why I said, I feel sorry for you"doctor"
Ummm??
Me: Confused??
Yeah.. a bit..
Me: see! I have almost reached the stage of chloroform..
Hahaha.. girl you're awesome!!
Me: nope! I am himadri..
I mean..  I complimented you. 
Me: Thank you, but I corrected you, I am not himandhuri it's HIMADRI
Oh.. sorry.. Himadri..
Why don't you write a novel or something.. I mean you are good with words and I see there're lot of youngsters blooming these days, although I hardly read fiction but you'll be some of the selected ones..
Me: how many books would you buy if I write..
Lol only 1, that too free, I'll take a signed one from you..
Me: interesting.. so, to save your 100 bucks, I should write a Novel, pitch publishers, draft, redraft, recraft, and wait till THE BOOK comes into my hands and I stamp it for you..!! Wow!! You're a celebrity!!
Hahahahaha.. nice one..
Me: this sounds like a joke to you?
No.. but i like the way you put it..
Me: I put something else nicely too..
And what's that?
Me: Sarcasm!
Hmm..
Me: confused? You didn't get it right!!
Lol.. yaa.. I actually couldn't relate it. Was thinking something else..
Me: YOU MEAN TO SAY YOU WERE NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT I JUST SPOKE?????
Oh no no.. I.. I mean I am like.. You know.. was thinking.. You're awesome and I like you too..
Me: Good! So..??
Nothing..
Me: nothing what? Speak it!
Hahaha.. you were right you make people confuse.. hahaha..
Me: Wish I could get to see some people around me.. sigh..
Means? I am people..
Me: nay you're doctor! Period.
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Hellooo ji?? You there??

Me: yup!
Why so quite?
Me: Flipping through your profile and pictures..
Oh okay.. how's it?
Me: useless, bakwaas, thuuu, chhii!!
Hahaha.. I like your sense of humour..
Me: but I am still sorry for you..
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Me: hey.. do you know you look like orangutan in this picture.. close enough wow [link]

What? Which?
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Offline.

#TruthHurts #ILostADateAgain #ForeverAlone

How to welcome back a backstabber

The more chances you give to someone the less respect they will start to have for you.
They shall ignore the standards that you have set because they know that there is a space for another chance. They are not afraid to lose you because they know no matter what you will not walk away and they get comfortable with your forgiveness.. Only strong people can forgive, especially when they know that they're going to get a bounce back of same action with another excuse..

Be thankful to those who left you in lurch because they taught you what is it mean to be self dependent, they helped you in taking out the strongest version of you.

Forgive them, and let them be in the self delusion that they succeed to fool you again and again and again.. on the cost of their depriciating credibility and worth

Keep your doors open to come back but make sure they sit, eat and get out in the same manner they left you earlier, no room to stay in.

And above all, Don't be bitter but be nice, simply because the anguish and pain you have gone through, gifted you with something valuable for lifetime that's " the value of yourself" and because nothing is as amazing as to sit in front of a person, listen to those repeated recorded promising phrases with difference expression, connotations, and SMILE to look into their eyes because you know what interpretation, value, impression and maneuverability have these word got now.. :P

2014, In Nutshell

2014, I have lost everybody for speaking truth as it is, I have lost everyone for seeking truth, some questions must be left unanswered, some deeds must be kept hidden..In 2014, I have lost myself after discovering the truth of my life and my people..
Nobody can see you naked, neither do we can stand naked in the society, clothes to cover up the nature's truth..It was nobody's mistake, I am hypocrite, I couldn't take the truth when I dug deeper to unearth trust, beliefs, reality, promises, commitments, religion, body mind and soul, relationship and human being. .The ugliest figures I have seen is of truth, and now nothing seems ugly in comparison.. everything is beautiful now.. because I know what am I looking at and whom am I talking to and what I shall be getting..Ergo, Don't grow up more than your age, curiosity kills the cat, ignorance is bliss, it's not important to know all the answers and all unlock all the mysteries, don't play with nature's hidden secret, whatever the almighty has created and howsoever he runs is perfect, surrender and don't challenge him.. nothing is as pleasurable as being an dumbfuck brainless asshole..Being idiot is a blessing in life.. 2014, hats off to you..You taught me the best lessons and chose the best teachers..
Every end is a new beginning to go through a journey and reach it's end.. 

Life's a battlefield

I mocked myself in the mirror," so, who was it? This time what did he call himself by?"
"My Shadow Self.." I said,  anguished eyes gave a tearing look into my reflection inside the mirror, who was smiling.. rather mocking me..
"interesting.. I hope, you did not fall in love with him again" said she, the mirrored me.
"I did, I did love him, again, I told him prior.. " look, you're the last person I am trusting in this life, never leave.."
"Ha..ha.. and holding your hands back he must have said, I love you, very convincingly, like the primitive vultures who ripped flesh out of the bones of your soul?"
"Yes".... and I had nothing to say..
A deep silence between us both in the room, raped by the ticking of clock..

A long sigh broke the ice " anyways.. I am now immune to it, not a bit hurt rather free by decision I took"

"Ah.. okay.. so.. why these thoughts, even once in while"

"Well because, I have questions to be answered, because I want to look deep into his eyes and see if the karma really exists, how he gonna accept the fact that this was a betrayal too? Leaving me in lurch, taking the leftovers I had, kept me standing naked in the middle of the road, unanswered to the public.. who am i? Why am I standing naked here? On the road which leads to nowhere..

I can see, those previous rapist of my soul standing in the public, shouting " where is the confidence lady? Where is your protector? Where is your Godfather?"

Unanswered.. still standing head straight, and screaming inside my head "I am betrayed again by a man, he wasn't my lover, he was my... ah.. I can't name it"..

"Shadow self"? Said my reflection..
How is he supposed to have a shadow when he never existed?
But.. I believed, he did, he held my hands, we laughed and dreamt of being together forever, i was like a daughter, he said, he loved me and said to be there..  I'm.. but.. "

"Your trust is raped again sweetheart.. now get ready, you're getting late for your customers" said my reflection..

I wore the best of my smile and the most seductive attitude, blushed my cheek bones with charming red and made my eyes look slutty..
I was all ready for men because now I have seen all of their masks, of lover, of friend, of father, of brother, of Guardian, of pathfinder, of companion, of being the soul and the soulmate..

I am just waiting in this dark lane of infamous brothel because someday he will cross by, dressed up like a saint, and I will tell him," the little girl you found on the roadside, threw away by her rapist - bruised and wounded, bleeding and broken; recovered and healed By you, is the queen of this dark alleyway, and you're nothing less than those Monsters who took away her innocence, you're the same, ugly and disgusting and I hate you."

Just an another experience of my life who taught me, doesn't matter, in what avatar they come, they shall be the predators and this combat shall never end dear shadow self, the game has just begun.. and I shall not play to win but to see, to what extent you lose your humanity to win..

कोई बेसबब होता तो क्या बात थी"

कोई बेसबब होता तो क्या बात थी"तू कुछ अलग होता तो क्या बात थी
बे-माना बे-मतलब होता तो क्या बात थी
हम तो आए तेरी बाँहों में,
की मौका-परास्त है ये क़ातिल दुनिया,
तू सबसे छुपा कर क़त्ल ना करता तो क्या बात थी
तू बे-मतलब होता तो क्या बात थी..हम भी मुस्कुरा दिए खुदा तेरी बिसात पर
कोई चाल तू नई चलता तो क्या बात थी..
दर्द दे दे कर, इस दिल को किया बे-दर्द,
बस एक जिस्म भी मर्द सा देता तो क्या बात थी..मैं क्या जवाब दूं तेरे इज़्हार-ए-मुहोब्बत का?
इक़रार-ए-मुहोब्बत का रास्ता है दिल से लबों तक,
लहू-लुहान ना करते जुबाँ को ये नासूर तो क्या बात थी,
बस एक तू ना होता मेरे कातिलों की फेहरिस्त में शामिल
और होता तो होता सीने पर तेरा वार,
तो क्या बात थी.. तो क्या बात थी..

फैसला..

ये फैसला तेरा है अब,
खुद को पूरा का या मुझे अधूरा कर जा,
मुझे काफ़िर बना दे या मेरा खुदा बन जा
तू जब भी मिलेगा सजदा तेरे लबों का करेंगे
या थाम मुझे और सुकून देदे, या जीने की ही वजह बन जा,
यूँ न खफा हो, है फासले तेरे मेरे दरम्यान,
मुझसे वफ़ा नहीं तो मुझे बेवफ़ा कर जा..
खुद को पूरा कर या मुझे अधूरा कर जा..

अब न ज़िद होगी, न इंतज़ार तेरे आने का,
ना होगा मकसद किसी बहाने का,
तू किसी और को चाह कर भी ना पा सका
तू मेरा ना बन, मुझे मेरा कर जा..
खुद को पूरा कर या मुझे अधूरा कर जा..

बस चंद लम्हों में हट गए तेरे कदम
हाथ थाम कर बैठा था बेवजह शायद
अब थाम ही ले हाथों को,
या मुझे बेवज़ह कर जा,
खुदा बन मेरा या मुझे काफ़िर कर जा..
है फैसला तेरा, मुझे अधूरा या पूरा कर जा..

तेरी मुहोब्बत, तेरी बगावत, तेरी रंजिश, तेरी मंज़िल ही सही
मुझे हमसफ़र ना सही, मेरा सफ़र बन जा,
वापस आ और समेट बाहों में बिखरने से पहले
या सैलाब आने दे और मुझे पत्थर कर जा..
अधूरा, या पूरा, पर फैसला कर जा..

Tu hai to I'll be alright..

All you need 1 person as the reason to live your life when you reach above these materialistic things.. You want to fall in love - love that might mean since 8am to 10pm at you might don't see each other but at 11 pm tou want that person to be yours, you want to surrender in his/her arms because whole day you've conquered the world, your expectations got defeated many times, your feelings are bruised and you are exhaused.. that person knows what is your fix, what is your cure.. what is your soul.. when you go back home, in his/her arms or just over the phone call you get your soul back..

.. your day cannot be completed without this person.
That one person, is always the reason to live, fight, and win the world.. the one who makes you complete.. you may give any name to the relationship but still you know.. you're naked.. completely naked in front of the person.. you don't have to hide anything, you don't have to use your brains to say or answer anything..

You're the most vulnerable human being having all materialistic charms and arms if you have 3000 contacts yet nobody to dial afyer 11 pm at night..

If you have this 'soulmate' irrespective of gender, age, distance, boundaries of relationship, profession, language, social status, trust me you're lucky..

And if you're also the fix of same volume to the person, you're the luckiest who got something we call 'true love' :)

Signing off
Himadri Barua

kinds of people on grooming

Ordinary man = all he needs is 1 soap to bath, either washes hair and body with dove or uses lifebuoy soap for past 35 years, everywhere.

Ordinary woman = doesn't wax because it increases the growth and has own logic to all becauses.

Metrosexual man = knows the difference between conditioners and masks, has all toiletries with 'for men' mark, shaves off well. Everywhere!

Metrosexual woman = visits parlour, thinks about diet control, anything to look young forever.

Smart man = might not know the difference between hot wax or cold wax but prefers to stay clean, uses toiletries according to requirements. Might hesitate to try the new trends but would surely do if pushed by others.

Smart woman= knows how to mix and match brands and clothes, never waxes the face with veet strips, doesn't matter if she visits parlour once in 6 months but is always well groomed and knows well how to carry 200rs tank top with 3500rs jeans.

Hypocrite asshole of highest order: looks like a bhaloo, never waxes, consider ordinary man as fuddu, Metrosexual man as Gay, criticises smart man to be show off useless fellow, knows nothing about face foundation and mousse but speaks the loudest for women being morphed or painted to attract men, boasts their presence for being 'original' and calls their laziness, unaware of social trends annd no confidence to be the 'robust manliness'

Dumb birdbrained selfproclaimed chick = considers the world to be blind and shows off her Karol Bagh wala Fendi clutche, palika wali Gucci wedges with ex boyfriend ki gifted original guess wali jeans. Calls everything newly purchased sarojini item to be the gifted one by her chacha mama taya bhaiya bhabhi jija from london, Canada, dubai, South Africa respectively and that mobile which is gifted on Rakhi by her munh bola Brother whom she kept on seesaw-ing on friendzone cum to-be-boyfriendzone \m/

O yeah yeah yeah :~*

#OkBye