Himmilicious's Blog, page 25

Indian Marriage

Indian Marriages from different Perspective :)
Men, Age Group seventy to their eleventh hour, " Chalo zinda rehte bachchon ki shaadi ho gayi"
Women of same age group mention above has nothing to do with fashion, food and fun but they are deeply interested in 'Whose grand children got married to whom and whose bride is more beautiful and please do not forget THEY ARE SOCIALLY CLAIMED RITUAL MASTERS..

Men with age group 45-65+ : they are ebulliently interested only in FOOD!
Women, Well they try to look younger by wearing everything they have,
♥ they are deeply interested in "kitna dahej mila" system,
they are worried about their "nanad" looking more attractive than them,
they are the cause of all 'jhagda-fasad' that unfortunately spoils the fun,
they are interested in whose daughter/son is 'Grown Up' and 'Doing What',
So technically Their Purpose of visiting in marriage are :-
1) looking partner for their children,
2) Showing best of their 'knowledge, Information, Fashion (maroon and golden), and of course discussing health/family/financial and sometime "SOCIAL" issues.
(meanwhile their grandchildren are at their 'chaat-pakoda-chowmin-coffee' service)

Now comes Men of 30-40: Married, tummyfied, Kids roaming around and calculated/worried about the expenditure occurred for 1 plate of dinner , ( From Wife's Saree to the Gift of wedding couple)
They're deeply into "Bhabhi Jis and FOOD" ( they do not miss chance of pegs if available but take full care of their wives eyes)

Women from the age group 30-45
They are still ate their late twenties :) So keep this in your mind before approaching.
They are "salary suckers" and to look bearable husbands do not mind! so aesthetically they are at their best of 'show off system' and the price tags describes the volume of their husband's love
They are always into "where is my kid" and partially happy that he/she/they are not around for a few moments.
Jealousy Redefined (to be discussed/demanded later with husband)
Deeply interested in 'Other's life'
The Nosy Nanads - don't forget them,
they are always GOOD, GOOD and GOOD.
Happy because they are satisfying their women instincts and (yippie, they do not have to cook tonight)
So, they're into transition period for joining the above categories!

Men, age group 20-30
They go to marriage only to check out GIRLS.

Girls in their 20s
Marriage function means
Utilization of women charm,
Being female- ethnic clothes- makeup and "Nazakat-nakhra-adaa Personified"
They go to marriage just to attract Men!

Men (15-19)
Girls (and the disappointment when SHE is a relative)
other men ( the style)
Discursive : Bikes, Games, New Courses, and BABES.

Girls : Other girls' Dresses, and accessories.
They can be mostly found in "attached Form" i.e always with mummy,bhabhi,didi,bua and all.
they have nothing to do with what all "aunties" are blahhing about as they're busy in playing SMS-SMS

Kids
The whole food universe is specially made for them.
They are there to try everything and to be at their Mummy-chaachi-bua-daadi-maasi's service.
They're deeply interested in "gubbare Waala" standing outside the gate.
they just wish to get as late as they can so that school tomorrow is missed!

and many more things I have Observed so far, shall come up with some new observations for sure and soon.
you can add some more of yours "with Pleasure"

Commodification of literature

I like the new "publicity stunt trend" now a days..
No material,
No Publisher,
No Authenticity
yet the "facebook Advertisement/ Page Promotion/Pre-Publicity method" to attract "customers" is interesting,
Bollywoodification or Commodification of Literature has not only lost its concrete form but also metamorphosed a "reader" into "customer".
Not being brusque,even I'm not diametric but what is the point of increasing 'Page likes' and inviting those loony comments of *Mobile Recharge and another page promotions*
Why not to connect some sensible and interactive people only for the sake of a social networking target?

I may sound antiquated with some offal point of view, but I'm genuinely confused.
and maybe this is the reason I'm excoriated often.
or maybe I must follow the fashion..

and yes, I will.. the day I find an advertisement of Ferrari or Lamborghini on local T.V channels..

Flickering in the night sky

Flickering In The Night Sky

Tonight I looked into the sky
To see where you might be,
And there I saw the star that's you
For the entire world and me.

It sparkles in the dark night sky
The twinkles flicker bright
That guides my thoughts to where you are
No matter how far the flight.

So if ever I feel lonely
And need to be with you
All I do is look at that star
To where it point's at you.

But should you need me by you
To comfort or just to hold,
And feel my arms around you..

The Playboy Rulebook

Playboy Rulebook
#method 4

Part 1

Choose your target. A loner girl. Emotional and alone.
Make her feel you don't like her and her habits. 
Compel her by using your charm (talks or physique or her interests or needs)
Be sweet and nice to her.
Have long romantic chats initially.
In that chat try to know what's her weakness.
Apply the 3c's
Confuse
Convince or
Corrupt

(She's all yours now. Enjoy your dish)

Part 2:

Cut her out from her social circle.
Make your target alone.
Brainwash her knowing her weakness.
Make her beg for you and your love.
(state of orgasm. Enjoy being craved and begged. The feeling of superiority)

Part 3
Create circumstances for conflicts.
Stop giving food supply to her emotions
(By the time hunt new target)
Avoid her
Fight at every single thing.
Again use 3c's
Confuse
Convince
Corrupt
To leave you by herself
(You can take up family issues as well and career too)

Do not forget to blame her for things and insult her.
Make her realize she's the culprit (ill character too)

Or be nice and promise to be there always (keep her as future option)

Move on to next..
All the best..

Last Pages of my Maroon Diary #6

Good Night Love,

I hope you slept well by now . 
I just wanted you to know how much you really mean to me,
My life was nothing when you were not there, and now that I do.
you gave me something to wake up for every morning. 
You're the reason I keep a smile on my face and the reason my heart races when you cross my mind, 
You are just that special to me. 
You're just my whole world 
You have my heart and I have yours
..and I wouldn't want it any other way..

I love you..
See you in dreams.. ♥

How do they bath.. LOL :P

How to Shower Like a Woman 

1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups and mentally plan your diet. 
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long sponge, wide sponge, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with Herbs and Protein shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and chocolate cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
11. Wax arms and legs.
12. Turn off shower.
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray Colin on spots use Harpic and Genda Phenyl.
14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the “size of a small country”. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
15. Check entire body for Marks, tweeze hair.
16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Wash your face.
6. Wash your armpits.
7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, pat it and make sound.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Make Shampoo bubbles.
13. Pee. While peeing pick one bottle out of your wife’s “bar-looking shampoo house” and read the label to know what exactly is it?
14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
19. Throw wet towel on bed.