Leandra Medine's Blog, page 580
December 14, 2015
I Know We Should Be Working but…Should I Buy This?
On Wed, Dec 9, 2015 at 1:52 PM, Amelia Diamond wrote:
Should I buy these gold Gucci dudes? (They’re the ones I thought you were wearing that morning when you were all like THEY’RE CÉLINE I BOUGHT THEM FOR A NICKEL ON THE REAL REAL BECAUSE I HAVE BABY FEET)
Also this is important: who wore it best?
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On Wed, Dec 9, 2015 at 1:56 PM, Leandra Medine wrote:
Oh my word, those Gucci hamsters are on sale?
I want those Gucci slides tooooooo. But right now, these are the two garments I have in my shopping bag:
A) Loewe wool cargo pants
B) Marc Jacobs sparkly ass pants. I think I’m blinded by holiday season on these, and they’re still so expensive
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Also, how many Golden Goose sneakers are too many?
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I’m such a loser.
On Thu, Dec 10, 2015 at 1:03 PM, Amelia Diamond wrote:
Those Golden Goose sneakers look like Heelys
You should get a Swagway instead.
Those MJ PANTS!!! Please get them. They are so expensive but what is life if not a journey to be the copper Beetlejuice?
Isn’t this coat pretty if you’re into shit that looks like sheep? I REALLY NEED A NEW COAT (and though the cheap version of this will look like shit, I’m not getting one that expensive) but T or F: I am going to be sick of shearling in .5 seconds? Or will I not be?
And these Dolce & Gabbana sock heels are my dream shoes right now.
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Also I know you’re on a 501s-are-dead kick but I love these. Thoughts or too risky to buy online?
On Thu, Dec 10, 2015 at 3:49 PM, Leandra Medine wrote:
I thought 501s were dead to me until yesterday when I found a pair that fit me like the kind of glove you only really hear about on condom commercials. So I say go for them.
Can I ask you a question though? Do you have a side hustle? How are you even entertaining the thought of a $3000 coat? Yeah, it’s beautiful, but it’s also rent AND half the world is on sale right now. If you need a coat, I’m kind of nuts about all the Shrimps shit — would you? This one from Topshop is also good (though granted will do nothing if and when your vagina gets cold).
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Re: footwear, these Dolces are still pretty expensive, but definitely less so than the sock boots, which, spoiler alert, you can make yourself by putting your own socks in shoes. (You can do the same thing and win the holiday party game with these Moschinos — $315) And I like these too.
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Meanwhile, I really want these earrings. Don’t ask me why, just say y/n.
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On Thu, Dec 10, 2015 at 7:52 PM, Amelia Diamond wrote:
No side hustle but a side car of side chicks. Speaking of side hustle are you $erious with those earrings? If you lose one that’s like losing a plane ticket to Chicago!
FINE and well-noted re: my coat selects. This JW Anderson one is beautiful and almost reasonable. Here’s my thing with coats online: I need an option to select, like: Mildly warm. Mediocre Warm. This One Will Keep You Super Fucking Warm. This One Is a Piece of Winter Shit. Etc.
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(Oh my god those Moschinos! They are the porcupine pals to the hamster slides!)
Leandra I have a confession. I have checked the Nasty Gal holiday party section every single day this week.
I have visited this romper because I have delusions of grandeur/Beyoncé (but isn’t this just a cool body suit I could wear stuff over?)
This metallic sweater (but I hate the neck. I wish it were higher. Have you seen any better versions?)
This black dress… please still be my friend.
…
..
.
And this.
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Wtf.
On Fri, Dec 11, 2015 at 7:23 AM, Leandra Medine wrote:
…But when you wear stuff like that tight black dress, who is that for? Why do you want it and how are you going to style it? Doesn’t this seem like so much more fun? At least then you can wear a jacket over it like you mean it and not like you’re cold and confused. And I think you should just get the damn feather jacket, this came up the last time we did this.
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Actually, I take that back. You’re going to regret having an ostrich that has never seen the light of day strapped to your back once the holiday drunk wears off.
I don’t even know you.
In other news, are shrugs coming back? This cropped poplin shirt leads me to believe so.
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On Fri, December 11, 2015 at 9:43:02 AM, Amelia Diamond wrote:
Can’t a girl just want a hot black dress with a strange upward square thing that arises between her chesticles? I don’t like the neck on that velvet one, it will make me feel like a fembot.
I do know that I need to get these fluffy jackets out of my head. I will be sick of them the second the holidays are over.
This reminds me of the old you.
Everything I just went to show you that I also wanted because I’m on holiday crack (aka the J.Crew Collection section) is sold out so this problem may solve itself.
However, look at these Miu Miu shoes. Do you think they will give me fat calf?
Too bad neither of us are a size 11 shoe, eh? I’m gonna send these to Katie.
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ON THE SUBJECT OF SHRUGS: I don’t get it. How do you wear that?
On Fri, Dec 11, 2015 at 9:51 AM, Leandra Medine wrote:
I would personally wear it with high waist red pants or white pants or a sequined mid-length straight skirt or something.
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Those Miu Mius are awesome, I’ve had my eye on them all season, they are very you and I think you should get them. I also can’t get over these, but I think I’m blinded by the social media opportunities.
Non sequitur: I’ve graduated from the aforementioned Céline earrings to this single star. I will wear it with these pants. And this camisole. HASH TAG GOING OUT TOPS!!!
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Also, seeing as Hanukkah recently passed us by and my birthday is in 6 days, may I ask what you plan to buy for me?
On Fri, Dec 11, 2015 at 12:51 PM, Amelia Diamond wrote:
But do you wear a shirt under it?
I think you may be blinded by the glitter but A) that’s better than sand and B) now I am too. Go get ’em tiger.
If you give an idiot a bag of confetti, by the way, she’s going to want this skirt.
I saw it in the store and it’s actually so good. I just HATE the waist band so would always have to wear it with a sweater that covers it. Is that dumb to do? Buy something 80% okay that you know you’ll have to strategically remedy every time you wear it? For $40 I feel like it is okay.
That camisole is so pretty!i!i!i!i!i! What goes in the other ear, a stud? Or will that make your head drop like a confused golden retriever because it’s weighted on one side?
Back to the faux fur for a moment: thoughts on this one?
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AS for your Hanukah gifts I got you:
Eight
Seven
Six
Five
Four
Three (YOU NEED THEM, LEANDRA)
Two (for David)
One
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What did you get me?
On Fri, Dec 11, 2015 at 1:00 PM, Leandra Medine wrote:
That faux fur is the one!!! And it’s $300! Do it do it do it right now. Should I do it for you and call it a holiday gift? See, I’m always thinking of you and you’re never thinking of me.
I hate all of your birthday gifts not because the pieces aren’t excellent but because they’re from you. I’m buying that pajama set from Topshop.
Merry Christmas.
Illustrations by Max Dower of Unfortunate Portrait; collage by Emily Zirimis.
The post I Know We Should Be Working but…Should I Buy This? appeared first on Man Repeller.
Pamela Anderson Made Vegan Shoes With Amélie Pichard
The soles of Amélie Pichard’s newest shoe collaboration are covered in glitter — a sort of sparkling sandpaper that somehow manages to not leave a trail of light-reflecting dust in its wearer’s wake. This has much to do with the magic of Amélie Pichard and everything to do with the fact that Pamela Anderson was her co-conspirator.
“We were thinking beach clubs and cobblestone streets,” Anderson said. “Malibu meets St Tropez. Glitter soles because after a night out with my friends, the bottoms of my shoes are covered in glitter.”
The two came together to create a leather-free line that would raise awareness of the ethical treatment of animals. The collection is sold online at OpeningCeremony.com, and all proceeds will go to the PETA-approved Pamela Anderson Foundation.
Below, two exclusive interviews with both Pamela and Amélie.
Pamela Anderson
How did you discover Amélie Pichard?
PA: Not by Instagram, as rumor has it. Ha. A mutual friend and business acquaintance sent me some of her previous catalogues and lines. She had sent me a pair of “Pamela” silver slides, as I like to call them, and used me as inspiration for her other campaigns.
I loved what she was doing, so when she asked me to fund a vegan line, I thought that was a perfect investment in myself as well as in an artist I believe in. And we are getting a great response.
Why did you want to work with this brand?
PA: It’s not as difficult as it used to be to find beautiful vegan shoes, but these are pretty amazing. Amélie is genius.
Which shoes are your favorite?
PA: I just shot the shoe campaign with my best friend and soul mate, David LaChapelle. I love them all. I love the denim. And the candy apple red — I’m in love with the entire collection.
Is there a particular garment or accessory that you believe every woman should have?
PA: A big, lovely bag. I’m a bag-in-a-bag kind of girl. I carry books, a few outfit changes — I end up in funny places. I have an obsession with beautiful lingerie. My bag is full of tricks.
If you could sum up the collection in a sentence, what would it be?
PA: Be brave enough to be yourself.
I always wanted to create a perfume called “Man Repeller.” Just a funny coincidence. Maybe Amélie and I should consider it.
Something sensual and cheeky. And of course, organic, vegan…
All the good stuff.
Sexy.
What is it about Pamela that makes her such an icon for you?
AP: She is the modern Woman with a capital w. She is everything: sexy and sophisticated…a mother, a wife, a businesswoman, an activist and a nature lover.
Some might say she is the antithesis of the embodiment of the archetypical French woman, do you agree with this?
AP: Of course, it’s exactly what I love! I love contrasts. I love the effortless, sophisticated side of French women — night and day, and the beach-y, natural side of Californian girls. West coast girls are very contrasting: they are very natural by day, yet very elegantly dressed-up at night.
What was the process working together like?
AP: Natural! I told her to send me multimedia messages of what she loves. I was expecting to receive pictures of some shoes from her wardrobe, but she never sent that. Instead, she sent me a lot of pics of her, especially old ones, some Brigitte Bardot inspirations and some art.
I learned more about who she is, her sense of humor, and I realized that I could play with clichés of Baywatch and juxtapose it with Bardot’s trademark natural style and spirit. We spoke a lot about the vegan materials we could use and she was very excited when I brought in some new technical fabrics that are not only animal free but also sustainable and healthy.
How involved was she in the ideation of the new shoes?
AP: Pamela has a very good eye, and very fine taste in high-end fashion, contemporary art and designer furniture. She didn’t have to ask anyone around her to decide whether she liked or didn’t like the drawings I showed to her after our long conversations and image exchanges. She knows what she wants, and I made a collection for her that she fell in love with instantly.
She immediately understood my drawings, and I guess I was the right person to design this collection with her as I’ve been fascinated by her for a long time, as you know. I can relate to her persona in the 90s and imagine a collection for the contemporary Pamela in 2015. She is different today but very radiant, mature, funny, strong and beautiful.
What part was the most challenging?
AP: Finding innovative and vegan materials that are equally breathable and good for the skin. The shoe making process is not the same with animal-free products, as fabrics or technical materials responds differently than leather. It’s a challenge that I’d like to undertake each season now. A new approach to fashion is possible.
Many designers embrace collaborations, partnering with influencers regularly to create capsule collections or one-off products. What do you think of the new form of commerce?
AP: Collaborations have almost become a standard marketing tool these days, but I only pursue the ones that feel heartfelt with brands that really inspire me and understand my universe. The collaborations I’ve done are quite unusual. I’ve really invested time and energy to find new ways to tell stories with products I’m not familiar with in terms of technique. I love to acquire a know-how and respect the craftsmanship. It’s very important for me. That’s what I stand by in my collaborations and will only do collaborations that I’m passionate about in the future.
With Pamela, it’s not a usual collaboration either: It’s a labor of love. It’s also very logical, considering my obsession for Pamela! In the early days of my brand, I told my friends that I wanted Pamela Anderson to be the first celebrity to wear my brand. Pamela is my inspiration, and she has become my muse. She’s starring in our campaign shot by David LaChapelle.
This collaboration is to close the loop with our love story. And to give way to a new story, the vegan one: I’d like to spread the word to the world that vegan is compassion, compassion is sexy and we can make fashion differently.
To support the vegan movement all proceeds from the line will go to a PETA-approved Pamela Anderson foundation. Collection available online for purchase now at Opening Ceremony. Campaign images shot by David LaChapelle will go live in January.
Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis.
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What to Wear This Week: Dana Alikhani of Muzungu Sisters
What do you ask yourself when getting dressed in the morning? Whether or not you’re inclined to admit the impetus of why you say what you do with the clothes that you wear, they make a statement — one that is ostensibly endorsed by their wearer — for the public to consume. You make a choice about how you will present yourself, to wear a thing that will pick up slack where words might fail you, or conversely surprise your audience. It’s an intellectual choice whether you want to believe it or not, and everyone participates in the creation of it.
In today’s edition of What to Wear This Week, one half of the Muzungu Sisters — Dana Alikhani — breaks down the mechanics of what she wears and why.
Do you ask yourself any questions when getting dressed in the morning?
I’m always late so there is very little time for that type of thinking. It will usually depend on what I’m doing that day. If I have work meetings I will make an effort, whereas if I’m taking my son to music class or swimming it usually consists of grabbing whatever jumps out of my closet first.
What is one piece of clothing that never fails you?
Muzungu Sisters’ black velvet Leila jacket.
One that always does?
Do you start from the shoes and work your way up, or clothes and then down? Is there a particular method?
I’m usually quite haphazard. If I have a new pair of shoes that I really want to wear I might work around that.
Does the way you’re dressed affect your mood? How?
If I’m wearing something uncomfortable I can be quite a grump.
Why did you launch your brand?
My partner, Tatiana Santo Domingo, and I both love handmade, colorful pieces, and friends were always asking where we found things we were wearing — from the Sicilian basket I found in Sicily to the Fique Mochilas Tatiana would get in Colombia. But we actually started thinking about it as a business when we were both living in New York. I wanted to launch an online portal connecting fair trade suppliers and artisans from around the world and Tatiana wanted to curate a website of pieces collected on her travels, so we merged the two ideas and finally launched the project in 2011.
You’ve just launched a collaboration with Olympia Le-Tan – why did you decide to partner?
Both Tatiana and I have always loved her book clutches and we love the folkloric-heritage element of her embroidery work. We love vintage travel posters and wanted to do something folk-inspired to highlight the countries we source from, as well as the ones we are both from. It made perfect sense to ask Olympia to make a postcard in the same style as the book clutch. We are donating 10% of all sales to the UNHCR, which helps refugees worldwide, and is active in all of the countries the postcard clutches depict.
What have you found to be the most important lesson that you’ve learned running your own company?
It’s important to believe in what you are doing. It’s easy to do that when you love what you sell. People will always have opinions — sometimes not very constructive — so you just have to keep your focus and keep doing what you love. Of course there are days when you start to wonder what the whole point is, and that’s when its useful to have a friend as your business partner, as you never tend to have those days at the same time and can talk each other out of any mini-crisis.
What accessory do you never leave home without?
A Muzungu Sisters cashmere scarf stuffed at the bottom of my Fique Mochila pom pom bag.
Share your best shopping tip, pls:
I’m a big sucker for markets. Next time you’re in a new city, look up the nearest clothes market, or try to find out where the local old ladies shop. They always seem to know where the best cotton dresses, pharmacies and seamstresses are. Try to only buy what you can see yourself wearing in five years time.
And finally, if I had never purchased anything from Muzungu Sisters but wanted something and was finally getting it, what would you suggest I buy?
Definitely a Sicilian basket.
They take so long to produce and sadly, the number of artisans who know how to make them is slowly diminishing. The lady who makes the pom poms by hand and embroiders the baskets for us just told me the other day that one of her basket-weavers on the other side of Sicily passed away and she only has one other person who can weave the baskets for her.
They’re very special pieces.
Visit the Muzungu Sisters website and follow the brand on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook; visit the Muzungu Sisters Pop-Up Shop open Thursday, December 17th – December 19th at 402 West 13th Street, NYC 10014. Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis.
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December 13, 2015
Santa’s Got Nothing on Grandma
Christmas, Alaska can do. My home state grew the most regal of firs, capped every last peak in fresh snow, and plunged into darkness by late afternoon to showcase twinkling lights and glittering stars. Our Christmases were white, without exception. A man who lived a block from my elementary famously kept a pet reindeer in his front yard.
Shopping for the holiday proved more of a challenge. Alaska was a land barren of retail. When Old Navy opened in the fifth grade, a tidal wave of tech vests flooded the halls of our city’s schools that we talked of for years to come.
My Santa Claus provided rescue. An enormous package, from which my mother would pull box after box, arrived each December. My spoiling benefactor (with access to better malls than I) was my grandmother.
A devoted pen pal since I’d learned to write, I shifted the tone of my letters come each November. I made lists: scrapbooked wonders cut and pasted from the beloved catalogs I’d poured over all year, complete with rankings, size charts and possible outfit combinations. I gave the woman options on options, allowing her to whittle and weigh my wishes.
In her slanted, looped script, after detailing the latest Nor’easter and gossip from the golf club, she’d confirm that my wish list had been received. Then she provided her critique.
For the crucial five-year period between doll clothes and the much simpler inclusion of a check in a card, and with as much grace as she could muster for the youngest child of her youngest, most rebellious child — who had moved 5,000 miles away to the veritable North Pole — my grandmother used these demands as an opportunity to dole out a dose of annual guidance. While some requests were admonished through gentle oversight, other warranted a firm word.
For Christmas ’99, I coveted an elaborately tinted, glittered lip-gloss in a metallic shade. “Lipstick,” she wrote, “requires perfect execution.” It was appropriate for a woman and an occasion of a certain glamour. As a 9-year-old seeking a new look for my fourth grade spaghetti feed, neither I nor the occasion made the cut. Neither did the ladies with whom she played bridge. Still petrified of her descriptions of their garish chosen shades bleeding from withered lips into the lines of their face, I’m a forever devotee to the natural lip.
In 2001, I again received a stern reprimand: $34 was too much to pay for a shirt plastered with sparkly logos on both the chest and arm. I was not being paid to endorse the company, and she sure as hell would not pay to endorse them; Limited Too did nothing for the woman. The graphic tee was banished from my wish list — and my person — for life.
Like her equally generous counterpart in the red suit, I never saw her on Christmas day. Still, for a period, her presents and their exotic possibility, held the most wonder. She had felt and touched what I’d only seen in catalogs. She had felt and touched choices I was just beginning to grapple with for a lifetime. I’ve long outgrown all of the clothes she placed under my tree. All that remains is my memory of her sensibilities: the boldness of the selections that satisfied her scrutiny and the iron warnings against those that did not. I now consider her in earlier pictures — bright eyes, perfect curls, a nipped waist, the patriotic pleats of a wartime nurse — and wish for nothing further.
Collage by Emily Zirimis
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December 12, 2015
Happy Birthday Frank Sinatra!
Sinatra was of a magical time — the same one our grandparents knew so well. Everyone had style.
The men wore hats and high waist slacks (note to modern dudes now: do not attempt). A sport coat was proper. A polished shoe was polite. The women: hair done, lips painted, nails filed. Our grandmothers were the kinds of girls who somehow always look put together. All of them! Damn them. Bless them.
The opt-out simply did not exist. It didn’t need to. There were no “old leggings” or “gross sweatshirts” in public. They had less, for sure. One coat. One dress. One purse. But everyone took pride in getting dressed.
So today we celebrate that time in honor of Frank Sinatra’s would-be 100th birthday. Hit play on the Blue Eyed soundtrack below, click through the slideshow above, swipe some color on your lip and spend the rest of the weekend reminding everyone that you’re about 99% sure you were born in the wrong era.
Carousel collage by Elizabeth Tamkin
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December 11, 2015
Monocycle: Episode 5
In the months that led up to the new millennium, conspiracy theorists had a field day supposing the sort of havoc a new century would wreak on society as we knew it. Computers would crash. Phones would no longer work. We’d all. Just. Die. But on the contrary, what happened was the exact opposite. Our computing systems grew more clever: smaller, faster, smarter. Phones became our new appendages and we forgot the art of communication IRL — we created an acronym for the term “in real life,” for heaven’s sake! And boredom, a human condition that once defined a bygone era was essentially exterminated. Or was it? In this week’s episode of Monocycle, we talk about the value of boredom in 2015, what term we may have supposed to replace it and how we’re going to take back “busy.” Complaining be damned!
Intro song: “The Show Must Be Go” by Kevin MacLeod, licensed under Creative Commons by Attribution 3.0 License. Logo illustration by Kelly Shami; background image via Nasty Gal.
Monocycle is produced by Kate Barnett and edited by Nicholas Herd.
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Cocktail Party Conversations
In journalism they will teach you to incite an interviewee’s response by asking why or how; in improv, they will instruct the interrogated to answer all questions with and. The goal of both is to promote a continued exchange. In real life, however, we’re not so savvy.
At Christmas cocktail parties we are even worse.
We catch up. We act as the human equivalents of year-end mom cards, barfing the family news (“Dan’s great, he’s grown an inch in the last year; Carol’s doing well — she’s taken to barking at walls ever since her vision’s waned,” etc.) leaving little room for any response other than, “Cool.” “Great.” “That’s fantastic.” “Please stop speaking to me.”
So how do we encourage a because? How — amid jingle bell headbands and hand knit sweaters — do we get someone else to add the and?
By getting into the holiday spirit with these cocktail party conversation tips.
Ask Something That Gets Everyone Involved!
Save this photo to your phone and then ask, “Pants-less in Seattle, or apricot capris?
Image posted by Passenger Shaming via Digg.
If apricot capris wins, celebrate the fact that tight clothes are back.
Great for Dinner Parties: Start a Friendly Debate
Ask, “Who had the best 2015 ever? Justin Bieber, or hover boards?
Troubleshooting: If No One’s Talking to You, It’s Probably Because Your Outfit Sucks.
So here’s a quick fix. Don’t bother the host about this (she’s busy!) but do take it upon yourself to steal the table runner — any old one will do — and use it to jazz up your party suit.
Pretend To Confuse Certain Guests for Actual Celebrities in Your Introductions
This tool is great for successful set-ups.
Example:
“Alice, meet Katie Holmes. Katie here had adult braces and enjoys pancakes, just like you. The New Potato interviewed her about it — you should really check it out.”
Then fein innocence: “Oh my gosh, you’re not Katie Holmes? Your name is Thomas? I’m so sorry! You must get that all the time.”
Slowly walk away, then watch the magic between “Thomas” and the future Mrs. Holmes happen.
Don’t Ask the Obvious Questions — Dig Deeper!
“I notice you have twenty five freckles on your left arm. How does this make your right arm feel?”
Let Your Actions Speak Louder Than Words
See a penny, pick it up, then drop it in a party-goer’s wine glass. When they ask what the hell you did that for (“you psychopath!), either tell them you missed 11:11 and needed to make a wish, or use this as an opportunity to teach them a disgusting life hack.
Bring Up Politics
I know they say you shouldn’t but it certainly gets the chit-chat going!
Ask Everyone to Demonstrate Their Party Trick
Make sure you have one before you ask.
Poll Fellow Fêtters on Which 2016 Grammy Nominee is Most Likely to Win Holiday Card of the Year
Personally, I think the Weeknd’s a shoe-in.
In an Awkward One-on-One Situation, Copy All of Jay Buim’s Oh Boy Interview Questions
But skip the “where did you grow up stuff.” Instead, get super specific (“So what was that like being a dominatrix’s assistant?”) and see how people respond. They will likely be polite and try to answer to the best of their abilities, assuming you have them confused for Katie Holmes — yet again.
When in Doubt, Apply the 6 W’s (Who, What, Where, When, Why, hoW)
Who are you? What are you doing here? Where did you get this invitation from? Why are you in my living room? How did you get a key?
This is funniest when you crash a party and ask these questions to the host.
They will likely respond, “Please stop talking to me.”
You will respond, “And, Pam. You mean, ‘Please stop talking to me and.‘”
Illustration by Patrick Keohane of @RSTheory
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Five Indulgences to Make It Feel More Like the Holidays
People are always talking about how it doesn’t feel like the holidays anymore but to that I say: earth to adulthood! You don’t have time to stay home and watch and re-watch Love Actually or Home Alone, which means that your entire month of December isn’t going to look like a gingerbread cookie dressed up in Gucci. The thing is, that’s not acceptable. It is the holidays, after all. The best time of the damn year! Jesus was born. The Maccabees found light, and it’s never not appropriate to remember the communitarian African philosophy by my main man Maulana Karenga.
So in the spirit of remaining grown up, appreciating having graduated from spending the majority of our time with our faces inside cereal bowls but also not compromising the youthful joy of the season, here’s a short list of indulgences that will serve as a catch 22. On the one hand it will remind you that it’s the best time of the year, or if you’re not there but know that intellectually, it’s supposed to be the best time of the year, maybe that will push you to participate in the indulgences. Make sense?
In plain terms: just treat yourself. There are zero reasons you don’t deserve it unless you are the fucking asshole in your office who makes everyone around you do your work for you! Why you do dis?
Never mind, it’s the holidays. You deserve a treat, too. So:
1. Wear a tiara on date night with yourself this week. Go to the movies. You can find a tiara just about anywhere but I am particular towards these:
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This is a treat because you should feel like a damn queen when you take yourself out. Hi. Hello.
If, however, you’re not into movies…
2. Just take yourself out for a glass of wine. Choose a place that feels decadent — like a fancy restaurant you’d only visit if your parents were in town and paying for the meal. Sit at the bar. Wear a sequined skirt.
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Order a glass of wine and read your favorite piece of literature. If your idea of good literature sounds like shiterature, bring your favorite magazine.
3. Call in sick (unless, that is, you have a hunch you might get fired if you take any more time off this year!) and spend the day pretending you are yourself circa 1994. Watch all those awesome Christmas movies. Say it with me: “I made my family disappear.” Remember what Liev Schreiber looked like when he was a cross dresser in Mixed Nuts. Listen to the Ella Fitzgerald Holiday station on Pandora. Buy a container of frosting and eat the whole damn thing.
3a. If you can’t stay in because you might get fired, do dress the F up for work.
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Buy yourself…
4. A pair of cashmere socks. Wear them around the house and know that they’re there for no one but you and the comfort of your feet, which deserve to be implicitly warm whenever they damn well please.
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5. A bouquet of flowers. It doesn’t matter where from, just treat yourself the way you would want your significant other to treat you. Know why this is important?
I think you do.
Yes!
Because you are your significant other.
Maury Povich used to say at the end of his show on late morning weekday television, “Be good to yourselves and each other.”
I like to say: be good to yourself first.
Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis
The post Five Indulgences to Make It Feel More Like the Holidays appeared first on Man Repeller.
Justin Bieber Versus the Hoverboard: Who Won 2015?
For a kid who once had an entire Tumblr dedicated to his King Joffrey likeness (“Where fiction’s biggest brat and real life’s biggest brat become one!”), Justin Bieber has made quite the return.
His comeback was slow. He’d pissed off a lot of people. Even when Ellen DeGeneres gave the okay to defend him, my own inclination toward forgiveness buckled during his brutal roast when I was reminded over and over of the very (and many) dumb things he’d done to merit such widespread distaste. It was the only roast I’d ever watched where the roasters didn’t even fake an empathetic wince — their claps felt like payback. It was definitely not “all in good fun.”
But he absorbed the shock. Repented. Then at the close of March 2015, Skrillex and Diplo released “Where Are Ü Now” featuring a superfluous umlaut over the U and Justin Bieber as a new person.
He was unstoppable from there, the favorite candidate to win Most Hearts Won Over in the year-end superlatives well before the summer even began.
And then…the hoverboard came onto the scene.
Wellllllcome back to the Man Repeller cage match, where opponents fight to the digital death. Not since rosé went head to head with avocado toast have we seen such viral rivalry. We had a plethora of contenders vying for a spot against Biebs (the Apple Watch, Adele’s new album, peanut butter baby, Drake’s dance moves in Hotline Bling) — but it wasn’t until the hoverboard stood up that everyone else sat down. Ladies and gentlemen, we invite you to do the same: take your seat. Let the battle begin.
Round 1: Actual Time it Took to Be Seen as Cool
Justin Bieber’s musical credibility started to soften the blow of his various asshole-y antics when “Where Are Ü Now” gained radio popularity in April 2015. The song became a summer staple and a steady hit through fall. The Late Late Show’s James Corden helped to soften his public image, then came “What Do You Mean” and the song that makes punchlines too easy: Turns out it wasn’t too late to say sorry — the world loved him again.
Hoverboards were on a similar trajectory. Their lame-ass uncle, the Segway, had left the bad taste of lame sauce lingering like garlic in the mouths of those who have opinions about completely unnecessary recreational transportation. In January, they were named “one of the coolest pieces of technology” at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas. You will note that this award did not help their status as cool.
What did help is that celebrities like Jamie Foxx started endorsing them.
This also serves as a great and unrelated reminder that Jamie Foxx is mildly insane? In a very satisfying way. Still…it took a bit longer to catch on as a “real thing” among the plebeian adolescent scooter set — and everyone knows that’s where the mass trends really start.
Round 1 Winner: Justin Bieber
Round 2: Badassery, Scale of 1 to 10
Justin: No.
Meanwhile, hoverboards are illegal to ride publicly in London.
They’re “illegal” to ride in airports, too: Wiz Khalifa was arrested at Los Angeles International Airport for refusing to get off of his hoverboard. He later tweeted this:
I stand for our generation and our generation is gonna be riding hover boards so if you don’t like it eat a dick!
— Cameron (@wizkhalifa) August 23, 2015
Hoverboards: 7
Round 2 Winner: Hoverboards
Round 3: Winning Over Hearts
Because the rise of hoverboards is so closely tied to their various celebrity endorsers, the publics’ hearts warmed at different times depending who each individual preferred and followed. Justin Bieber, however, won over all lingering haters when he did car karaoke yet again with James Cordon.
Round 3: Clear winner, Justin Bieber
Round 4: Dance Moves Justin Bieber is a decent dancer, but I have tickets to his NYC concert in May — I am not going for the choreography.
Turns out this is where the hoverboard prevails, but in a beautiful twist of pop culture fate, the most popular choreographed hoverers on YouTube are the ones that dance to Bieber.
Round 4 Winner: Hoverboards
Round 5: Douchebaggery
Hoverboards:
– There exists a brand of hoverboard called a “Swagway.”
– There is literally no point. None. Just walk.
– You cannot look “cool” on a hoverboard. This is not the problem. The problem is that too many try.
Justin Bieber, taking into account only occurrences post-roast for the sake of a fair fight:
– Early adopter of the hoverboard
– Overuse of the word “swag” despite his own promise to stop using word “swag”
– Frequent and non-ironic mention of the musical genre “tropical house” in the same sentence as “the new Justin”
– He took a shower on stage at the AMAs, though this is immensely better than peeing in a bucket.
Winner: Tie
Round 6: Actual Virility
Justin Bieber has given the Internet plenty of “sharable content,” but he himself hasn’t really gone viral since he was first discovered on YouTube.
Hoverboards, however, gave us this:
Clear winner: Hoverboards
The Final Vote…
Is yours. Have at it in the comments section.
But I mean…
Collage by Emily Zirimis. Extensive hoverboard research by Yvonne Dunlevie.
The post Justin Bieber Versus the Hoverboard: Who Won 2015? appeared first on Man Repeller.
December 10, 2015
Are YOU an Instagram Husband? (Even if You’re Not a Man!)
My friend’s boyfriend posted this video on her wall last night:
“I hate you,” she commented underneath.
“Did you just propose?!?!” is how I personally would have responded.
And then I watched as girls sent it to their manfriends and manfriends sent it their manfriends and I thought to myself, excuse me: if anyone can be a mom on a cruise, then anyone can be an Instagram husband.
Best friends are the immediate obvious alternative. (Especially best friends who automatically know that you like a full body shot, light on the left side and a right camera angle to catch your hip-akimbo pose.)
Family members are next. They are legally bound by blood to make sure you like the way your arm looks in a photo.
Pictures-only-acquaintances are third in line. These are people who frequent your daily life (neighbors, mailmen, office building security guards) who you aren’t technically friendly enough to get a drink with, but you’ve enough of a rapport established that you don’t feel weird asking them to take your picture.
Then there are the strangers, those unsuspecting few who, for whatever reason, have a face deemed so trustworthy by other strangers that they are asked all the time to take pictures for rando passersby. (This is me, by the way. I am the unofficial picture taker and direction giver of the West Village.)
In the age of doing things for the sole purpose of a social media post, accidentally making someone your Instagram Husband is unavoidable. There’s also a high chance that you are someone’s Instagram Husband.
So let us all take a moment of silence to appreciate he, she and we for their/our service.
It’s not god’s work, but it is blogs’ work. And it will not go unnoticed.
The post Are YOU an Instagram Husband? (Even if You’re Not a Man!) appeared first on Man Repeller.
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