David S. Atkinson's Blog, page 270

“Bones Buried in the Dirt” On Sale At Amazon For 10% Off

Right on the heels of another first (the first third-party seller for Bones Buried in the Dirt, which I posted about yesterday), Bones Buried in the Dirt has just had its first unexplained sale on Amazon. For whatever reason, Amazon is selling the book right now at 10% off ($11.69 instead of the $12.99 cover price, a savings of $1.30 per copy). Buy it now if you’d like to take advantage of the sale.

It’s an odd thing. I’m almost certain my publisher had nothing to do with the sale. It could be a good thing because it might get more people to pick up the book, but it might be a sign that Amazon thinks it isn’t selling well enough (whatever standards they go by, though I’m sure they have much higher demands than I do).

Do I feel happy about this? Ticked? Amused? Indifferent?

Well, I am kind of amused. I’ll admit that. I know Amazon does these sort of things all the time and I really have no idea why. I’ll just let it stay with being amused and let people know about the sale in hopes it attracts more readers. After all, Amazon is Amazon and is in the game to make the kind of money that small press, literary fiction just doesn’t tend to reach.

“Bones Buried in the Dirt” Gets It’s First Third Party Seller On Amazon

I’m trying to decide whether to be happy or not upon the discovery that Bones Buried in the Dirt has its first third party seller on Amazon. This isn’t a seller I worked to place the book at, so it means that someone who bought a copy (or someone who I sent a review copy, or even one of the Goodreads giveaway winners) must have sold their copy. That’s cool and all, as long as she/he/it read the book first, but there’s something else that puzzles me.

The seller is someone called Open Books out of Illinois. It purports to be a non-profit that uses proceeds to support literacy, which is definitely cool. More importantly, they are selling the book for $9.01 plus $3.99 shipping. To do the math, that’s a used copy for $13.00 of a book that retails new for $12.99.

Oh, I know that the price for new copies doesn’t include sales tax or shipping (though you also have to consider that Open Books will probably use media mail for the $3.99 shipping). However, you can always buy the book on Amazon and get free shipping with Prime or just get super saver shipping if you buy something else that costs at least $12.01. Whether or not they charge you sales tax right now depends on where you live.

Also, you could also buy the book at Tattered Cover in Denver or The Bookworm in Omaha in person (Tattered Cover you can also order online, but I don’t know what shipping is because I always just walk over there) and just have to pay $12.99 plus applicable sales tax for a new copy.

As such, $13.00 for a used copy just doesn’t seem like that great of a deal. I realize with taxes and/or shipping for a new copy you might save a couple of cents by going for this used one. However, that just doesn’t seem like much. I guess I just don’t understand how some of the used sellers do their pricing.

OJ Simpson Bid For Freedom?

I just heard that O.J. Simpson is set to speak in an attempt to free himself from his armed robbery/kidnapping conviction that could very well keep him in prison for the rest of his life. I don’t really understand the legal mechanism he is trying to use to reverse his conviction, but it involves alleged ineffective assistance of counsel and conflict of interest. I don’t know what his chances are, but this whole thing stuck out at me because of the public sentiment regarding O.J. Simpson.

Frankly, it seemed like a lot of people were really upset when he was acquitted of murder. They really believed he did it (my own mother when reminded of this immediately chants: “Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!”). I have to admit, I lean that way as well…though I put it to rest because the state was simply not able to persuade the jury on the charges. That’s our system and I have to live with that. I’d rather a guilty person (if he really was, which I don’t really know even if I lean that way) go free than an innocent person get wrongly convicted. Regardless, a lot of people were mad about the acquittal and then happy about O.J. losing the civil case. They were even happier when he was convicted of armed robbery and kidnapping in this case.

When I thought about all of this, I just had to consider the possibility that he really could have been innocent in this case. Maybe he really didn’t know about the guns. He could have had overzealous employees. I don’t really believe it, but I consider the possibility.

After all, given the upset some people still feel over the murder case, did we just want to see O.J. convicted of something? Even if he didn’t commit armed robbery and/or kidnapping, did we want to see him go to jail anyway because we still believed he’d gotten away with murder and this corrected that situation somewhat? If that were true and he was innocent of this particular charge but just convicted by residual public anger over the other, unrelated case…I would not feel right with that.

However, I have no more power over this case or knowledge about the specifics than I did for the murder case. I have my fears and my leanings, but I am not involved. I just have to leave this to the justice system and hope that justice is served.

Zombies Are Apparently Not A Sufficient Defense

Surprisingly, it turns out that zombies may not be a sufficient legal defense to committing a crime. At least, it turns out to not apparently be a very good defense to use when accused of auto theft and causing multiple accidents. At least we know this now.

However, this news comes a bit too late for poor Jerimiah Hartline. Apparently, he stole a big rig truck that had been left running at a weigh station after having stowed away inside. Hartline reportedly caused several accidents in his run before tipping the semi over and spilling its load (strawberries). His defense? He was fleeing zombies.

Astoundingly, this defense apparently didn’t work. He has pled guilty to multiple felonies and could receive five years for reportedly assault with a deadly weapon, hit-and-run causing death or injury, and vehicle theft. For some reason, no mention is made in the article regarding whether or not Hartline was intoxicated or crazy. I would have imagined that such would have come up.

Regardless, keep this in mind. I’m guessing the defense of fleeing the undead will not take a significant place in U.S. criminal law anytime soon. In any event, if you were going to try to be the one to change this, you might want to be sure that someone other than you thinks that there are zombies who need to be fled.

Deductive Reasoning Victory Makes Me Way Too Proud

I like puzzles that I’m able to solve using deductive reasoning. You’ll note that I don’t say deductive reasoning puzzles, because I’m only really happy when I’m able to solve them. In fact, I become far prouder when I’m able to do so than is really merited. This happened recently.

A friend posted a picture recently with a message that read: “Where am I editing?” I looked at the picture. I had no idea. I had definitely never been there. This friend travels a bit, and doesn’t live anywhere near me, so your guess was as good as mine.

It was a shot of a bar, what looked to be a fairly unique one. I wondered: what features are present that could help me identify this bar? I noticed antlers on the wall, lots. I noticed old style red tiles on the ceiling. I also noticed a tap that had an image of Edgar Allen Poe and a Raven on it. I had something to work with.

After all, the antlers couldn’t be too horribly common. Still, I didn’t think that was enough in and of itself. However, the Edgar Allen Poe-themed beer seemed helpful. I hadn’t ever heard of it, so I assumed it was a microbrew that I hadn’t encountered yet. It was on tap, which indicated it was probably in the area where it was made. Given Poe, I figured that would probably be the Baltimore area.

Thus, I searched “baltimore bar antlers” in google images. I found a picture that looked kind of close, though it was taken from a different angle where the taps weren’t visible. Because of the different angle, I wasn’t sure it was the same place. However, it had the antlers. Also, it was in the Baltimore area. As the clincher, it had the same old style red ceiling tiles. It was the place:

It was The Long Bar at the Golden West Cafe. However, I even looked further to be completely sure. I looked at their page on Facebook. Their page listed that my friend had liked their page. I was certain.

And, I felt way prouder of myself than I should have. After all, I’d deductively identified a bar I’d never been to in a city where I’d only used the airport and briefly driven through town. Cool, right? Well, my victory probably impressed no one but myself (and probably shouldn’t have). Still, it was fun.

Was One Of The Most Famous Advertising Campaigns A Failure?

We all remember the Wendy’s ‘Where’s the beef?’ advertising campaign, right? Wendy’s was supposedly insisting that they had bigger burgers with more beef by having an old woman look at competitor burgers and scream: Where’s the beef? I know you all remember, I certainly do. However, this morning I found myself wondering whether or not that campaign was actually successful.

After all, I loved that campaign. Everyone did. If you scream Where’s the beef? randomly in public even now, most people will know what you are talking about. There were stickers, t-shirts, and all that. The campaign reached just about everyone.

However, did Wendy’s get much for it besides name recognition? I loved the campaign, but I never did care that much for Wendy’s. That thing with putting mayo on the burgers was always a deal-breaker. I know I could ask for them to leave it off, but that’s too much work for fast food. Frankly, I preferred Burger King when I was a kid until at some point my allegiance mysteriously switched to McDonald’s. Wendy’s was never really in the picture, though I do end up eating there once in a long time.

Frankly, the entire concept behind the campaign never really worked for me, though the campaign itself did. I don’t go to fast food for good burgers, just quick ones. It doesn’t matter whether or not Wendy’s has better burgers than Burger King and McDonald’s, because I’m still probably going to a full restaurant (like maybe Ted’s Montana Grill). No matter what the fast food places do, their burgers are still fast food burgers. Arguing about who has more real burgers just convinces me to go where they actually serve real burgers…which is never a fast food place.

So, it puzzles me. Should this ad campaign be considered a success or not? It has tremendous reach and consumer appeal, as well as name recognition, but it just never got me to go to Wendy’s. Shouldn’t that be the main criteria used to judge? Of course, it is unwise to base one’s advertising strategy on what works on me.

Another Extreme Couponing Possibility For Hoarding

I’m not the only one who has wondered about a possible link between extreme couponing and hoarding. That kind of emphasis on acquisition (and the hoards of food and such that you see extreme couponers have) just seems to lead right into potential hoarding problems. However, another possibility occurred to me yesterday.

My wife and I were grocery shopping and, as often happens, the clerk handed us a bunch of coupons after we checked out (they tend to do that). As usual, I looked them over to see which ones might relate to products that we might actually purchase and handed the relevant ones over to my wife. I have often complained that we perform this step but never actually remember to bring the coupons and use them later (attempting to shame my wife into somehow actually using the coupons I was handing her). My wife loves the extreme couponing shows (I don’t), but this somehow doesn’t translate into her remembering to use the coupons (she’s an armchair extreme couponer). As I was pointlessly whining about this, something occurred to me.

What if this situation was a signal of a hoarding problem? I hand her coupons all the time, but we never use them. I think she sticks them in a folder and promptly forgets about them. However, what if she was hoarding the coupons?

I could totally see an extreme couponing/hoarding cross over where someone hoards coupons. They’d clip coupons and organize them, amassing a tremendous coupon hoard. However, they would become irrationally attached to the coupons and would be unable to part with them to use them. They couldn’t throw them out, because coupons are almost like money (with tiny denominations and extremely limited usefulness). Coupons would take over their house and their life.

Granted, this isn’t actually my wife’s situation. She likes the idea of couponing and flirts with the idea of getting into it enough to try to collect some coupons, but she has too many more important things to do than tracking their use to maximum effect in order to reduce our grocery bills to $1 a month. Still, I was amused by the concept of a coupon hoarder and thought that it could actually happen at some point.

Let’s Have Some Fun With Prince Harry

Imagine my surprise when I find out that Prince Harry is going to visit Colorado. Frankly, I hadn’t heard a thing. Then imagine me settling back into apathy because the arrival of an English royal doesn’t mean anything to my life in any way. But, that’s the wrong attitude. We need to have some fun with this.

Mind you, I’m just coming up with ideas at this stage…but I don’t think we should let this opportunity pass us by.

I think we should dress up Denver like some Medieval village. Everyone should kneel in Harry’s presence and keep referring to him as ‘M’Lord.’ All restaurants should switch their entire menu to giant roasted turkey legs. We have a ren fair here, surely we could pull this off. I’m not sure what Harry’s reaction would be, but I’m sure it’d be priceless.

Or, we could all pretend like we’re confusing him with Harry Potter. People could keep coming up to him and asking him how Ron is doing. Or, thank him for saving us from ‘him who must not be named.’ Every time he says he isn’t Harry Potter, wink.

Granted, these are just some initial ideas. I’m sure we could come up with some even better ones if we all put our heads together and thought about it. However, I just wanted to get the ball rolling. I haven’t seen anyone working on this yet and he’s supposed to be here soon (if he isn’t already). We’re going to let a golden opportunity for amusement pass us by if we don’t get started quick.

Woman Who Survived Getting Shot With A Harpoon Makes Life Difficult On Husband And Friends

I just happened across an article about a Brazilian woman survived getting shot by her husband with a harpoon. As glad as I was that this poor woman (Elisangela Borborema Rosa) survived, I immediately thought about how hard this would make life on her family/friends and husband.

I mean, let’s consider the husband for a moment. Just imagine him saying: Honey, would you do the dishes? In response: I’ll try to get to it, but I’m still kind of sore from where you shot me with that harpoon. Face it, this guy automatically loses any marital argument for the rest of his life, as well as any kind of guilt battle. He’s screwed.

Of course, I’m not sure whether we should feel sorry for him or not. The article seems to suggest that the police aren’t sure they buy the story yet of how the shooting happened. The old ‘I was cleaning the gun and it went off’ explanation always raises a few eyebrows. If this wasn’t an accident then perhaps he’ll go to jail or such and marital power struggles won’t be a concern. I’m also not going to feel sorry for an attempted murderer, if that turns out to be the case here.

Friends and/or family though definitely didn’t shoot Elisangela Borborema Rosa. Still, they’ll never be able to whine about their problems to her, or guilt her into any kind of favor. My husband doesn’t listen to me, they’ll say. Mine shot me with a harpoon, she’ll respond.

See? Elisangela Borborema Rosa has made life very awkward for her husband (presuming he didn’t shoot her on purpose) and her family/friends. I’m horrified that this happened to her and thrilled that she survived, but things are going to be awkward around her from now on. That’s something we have to consider.

I Can’t Blame Chris Christie For Killing A Spider

I’ve been hearing a lot of talk about how New Jersey Governor Chris Christie killed a spider in his office in front of a bunch of kids. Though I think it was a little silly that he tweeted that he’d saved the kids from the spider (he had to have known the news was going to have a field day with that), I still can’t go with PETA and condemn Christie for having killed the spider.

Now, I do agree that he should not have killed the spider. In theory. I think it’s wrong to unnecessarily kill anything. I don’t even like the idea of killing things for a reason, but I admit that I’m weak on this and still eat meat and wear a leather jacket (sorry, but I do).

More on point, I know there was no reason to kill the spider. The spider was no threat at all and spiders (in general, other than extremely poisonous spiders or spiders big enough to damage humans with a bite which was not this one in any case) are more helpful to people than harmful. I know this.

However, I don’t like spiders.

It’s wrong, I know, but it’s something burned into a portion of my brain that I do not understand (which is probably most). They just creep me out. Frankly, as much as I know it’s wrong and don’t think I should, I probably would have killed the spider too. I’m sure PETA would be mad at me too, if I was significant enough for them to worry about.