David S. Atkinson's Blog, page 274

We Should Rename Oatmeal Raisin Cookies To Oatmeal Raisin Bread

My wife and I discovered a cookie delivery service in our neighborhood last night that delivers cookies and ice cream until 3am Thursday through Saturday (The Dirty Cookie). This got me thinking about cookies (particularly as I ate the cookies we’d ordered) and this in turn led me to think about oatmeal raisin cookies…which I don’t think should count as cookies.

Personally, I think of cookies as a dessert. Chocolate, sugar, cinnamon, m&m’s, white chocolate, butterscotch, what have you. It’s all good, as long as it all counts as dessert.

This is what leads me to my problem in calling an oatmeal raisin cookie a cookie. I realize the dessert factor isn’t part of the actual definition of a cookie, but it’s part of how I think about it…and I just don’t think of oatmeal raisin cookies as a dessert. Frankly, it seems a bit more like health food.

Granted, I understand that most oatmeal raisin cookies probably aren’t health food. There is probably still enough sugar in there that it should be eaten in moderation, but it just seems too healthy to count as a cookie for me. After all, there is oatmeal and there are raisins. That’s grain and fruit. I don’t think of either of those as desserts. There is no chocolate, butterscotch, or anything like that. There isn’t even a crust of sugar over the top. It’s just oatmeal and raisins.

As such, I think it’s misleading to call them cookies. They might be cookie shaped and have a cookie configuration, but why bother if you’re going to splurge on a cookie (you might notice that I’m not particularly fond of oatmeal raisin in the first place)? We should call them oatmeal raisin bread, or perhaps oatmeal raisin cookie bread. You still shouldn’t eat them all the time, but it seems better than lying that they are a real dessert treat.

And Now, For No Particular Reason, An Animated Fish Tank

I’m not sure why, maybe I’m just tired and so this seems like a good idea, but instead of ranting about some bizarre thing today, here is an animated gif of a fish tank:

Isn’t that relaxing?

I Really Hope That Flight Wasn’t Really Diverted For Just A Movie Complaint

I know that when I see an article, I am not getting the full story. There are always other sides, other bits of information that are not included. That which is not included often makes a situation seem quite different from that which is included. I really hope this article about a plane being diverted over a movie complaint is just that kind of situation.

According to the article, a family was on a flight from Denver to Baltimore. The in-flight movie was Alex Cross, a movie they felt was more mature than their children should watch (we should all keep in mind that on many flights you can not listen to the in-flight movie by just not getting headphones, but it can be difficult sometimes not to see the movie…or to prevent your young children from seeing it if you care about such things). They asked for the movie to be turned off, and were informed this was not possible. The parents claimed that these discussions were all nice, no threats or raised voices or anything. However, the flight was suddenly diverted to Chicago…the crew apparently having reported a disturbance with a passenger. The family who had not been fond of the movie were taken off the plane at Chicago by police and put on a different flight to Baltimore.

I really hope that this isn’t the full story.

I mean, all we have is the family’s word that there were no threats, raised voices, or anything of the kind that would make the crew feel there was a real risk. However, if there isn’t more to the story, then we might be seeing a United policy that movie complaints are a security risk. I know that flight safety is a touchy business and I’d rather we proceed with an abundance of caution, but regarding movie complaints as security risks has got to be an extreme overreaction (presuming there isn’t more to this story).

Where would it end? “Miss? I didn’t get any peanuts.” Boom! Plane landed for security reasons. “Sir? the passenger in front of me is using the space under his seat for baggage so I have nowhere to put mine.” Boom! Federal marshals step in. “Excuse me? Could I get a pillow?” Boom! Banned forever from flying. “My tray table won’t stay up.” Boom! Passengers and crew wrestle the whiner to the ground and restrain him/her for the remainder of the flight.

Seriously? A movie complaint? I really hope there is more to this and either there was an actual unruly passenger totally separate from the anti-Alex Cross family or the anti-Alex Cross family drastically misrepresented how this went down. I really hope so. This just seems completely ridiculous.

Article Ignores Most Interesting Aspect Of Situation: Goat Walks Into A Bar

I saw a link for an article about a goat walking into a bar and I admit, I was interested. However, the article itself was utterly disappointing. All they talked about was where the goat came from (apparently was stolen from a petting zoo). They totally ignored the most interesting parts of the story.

I mean, a goat walks into a bar. Doesn’t that sound like the lead in or set up to a joke? A goat walks into a bar. The bartender says: we don’t serve goats here, only sheep…See? There’s got to be a joke there, I’m just not going through writing it.

What did the goat do when it walked into the bar? What did the bartender do? The other patrons? Did the goat say anything? Did anyone say anything to the goat? Did the goat get a drink?  Was he too baaaa-shful (I know, that would work better for a sheep)?

There’s an amazing amount of possibility here, but the article just mentions the goat walking into a bar as only part of a single sentence. They then talk the rest of the time about the goat being stolen from a petting zoo, as if that’s really all that interesting. I’m sure animals get stolen from petting zoos all the time.

Interestingly, the article references the goat as the one that walked into a Montana bar as if we should immediately thereby know what goat they are talking about. Oh sure! The goat that walked into a Montana bar. Perhaps we should. Perhaps there has been national news coverage on this already and I just missed it. Perhaps that’s where they covered all the possibilities inherent in the fact that the goat walked into a bar. Maybe, or just maybe the article is just presented oddly (or was only intended for a very specific, local audience).

I don’t know. I just know that I was hoping for a lot more from this article…a punchline at least.

There Apparently Are Things You Can’t Do At Wal-Mart

It kind of surprises me, but apparently there are actually things that you can’t do at a Wal-Mart. I’m sure the rest of you are surprised as well. One thing you apparently can’t do is shoot a deer in the parking lot.

Granted, I’m not sure this comes up for most of us. However, it did for the guy mentioned in this article. Apparently, Arcangelo Bianco Jr. spotted a large buck in a Wal-Mart parking lot and shot it from across a highway. His defense attorney didn’t comment on the specific charges Bianco is facing, but he has apparently been charged for shooting the deer in a Wal-Mart parking lot.

Who’d have ever thought you could get in trouble for that?

Though it kind of seems like anything goes at a Wal-Mart (certainly based on some of the pictures we’ve all seen), I suppose we shouldn’t be too surprised that something as reckless as shooting a deer in a parking lot does cross whatever line there is. I mean, I remember an episode of World’s Dumbest that taught me that an extremely twitchy guy cannot legally buy the ingredients for meth at a Wal-Mart and then go make the meth in his car in the Wal-Mart parking lot right under a security camera.

Laws do apparently apply at Wal-Mart, though it may not always seem that way. As such, people might want to refrain from shooting in the parking lot there.

Can We Just Go One Week Without Something Like A Fight At An Easter Egg Hunt?

I know that I am far from being a perfect person. I admit this. I do what I can and at least want to be a better person. I know that most other people are this way, and that they too are just as ruled by their failings as me. This is part of being human…but can we at least go one week without hearing about something like a fight at an Easter egg hunt?

I’m not making this up; I just ran across this article. Apparently, a woman pushed a child aside when her kid was trying to go for some eggs. Of course, the pushed child’s mother was a bit peeved about this and a fight erupted…AT AN EASTER EGG HUNT!!!

Seriously?! Why not? Whether you’re in for the Jesus resurrection school of Easter or the nature-based or such fertility festival school, both of course include the traditional fighting during an event for children. It only makes sense, and just does a little more to make me worry about my faith in humanity.

After all, these were eggs. We aren’t talking about thousand dollar bills here or anything. These kids were there to have fun. I’m sure both mothers were trying to make sure their kids had fun and went out of line pursuing that, but I guarantee you that this event was likely not fun for the children at this point. Though, I could always be wrong. Perhaps these kids happen to like seeing their moms brawl. I can’t say for sure.

I know these things are going to happen. I’m not perfect and I can’t expect anyone else to be. Still, if we could keep the brawling between parents at what are supposed to be fun events for kids, I think it would be a good thing. Just saying.

Can we do one week without something like this happening? Please?

Flea Circuses Are Real?

I was a bit surprised when I saw this article about how freezing weather decimated the performers of a German Flea Circus. After all, I’d always assumed that flea circuses were fake. Obviously, if the fleas in this one could freeze, this one actually had real fleas.

Personally, I thought the idea that these things had real fleas was just a Looney Tunes bit, made up for the various comedic possibilities. I thought these things were all a big joke, a scam of the past to pull people in and fool them like the Fiji mermaid. I thought they just used motors and magnets and things to operate tiny rides and circus equipment, making it look like fleas were actually performing.

But, though some were like that, apparently some actually used real fleas. At least, this one apparently did. (Incidentally, vermin or not, I am sorry that these fleas all died…particularly since they weren’t infesting anything.) Interesting that they can just add more fleas at any time, indicating that perhaps the fleas don’t actually do anything.

Hmmm, some flea circuses have real fleas…I wonder if this means that other circus scams might be true sometimes. Next I’ll find out that there’s a carnival where the games aren’t rigged.

“Bones Buried in the Dirt” Discussion Questions

I don’t know whether or not any book clubs or book groups are looking at my book Bones Buried in the Dirt (available from Amazon, Tattered Cover, of the Bookworm in Omaha), but I thought they would need some discussion questions if they were. As such, I drafted some up for book clubs and such to use, or for just people to consider while they are reading in case they wanted to get more in-depth into the book. Regardless, here they are. I hope they are useful.

Bones Buried in the Dirt Discussion Questions:

1. People often refer to the innocence of children. In which ways do the characters of Bones Buried in the Dirt possess that kind of innocence? In which ways do they lack that innocence?

2. Do you think the main character, Peter, is basically a good person? What incidents in the novel bring you to that conclusion? Does your opinion change during the course of the narrative?

3. Modern psychological commentators frequently assert that young boys engage in more physical power struggles whereas young girls engage in more psychological power struggles. Is this supposition supported or contradicted in Buried in the Dirt? How are the power struggles of the children in the book different from or similar to adult power struggles?

4. How do you feel that Peter does in the various power struggles in the book? What brings you to that conclusion?

5. What incidents in your own childhood, or in the lives of a child that you know, did the book make you think of?

6. What types of mistakes does Peter or other characters make during the book? Are those mistakes understandable or not?

7. After reading the book, what was your opinion of Steven? Do you think that your opinion might have been manipulated in any way by the fact that you only know him through the information Peter provides?

8. What is your opinion of the parenting performed by the adults in the novel? Similar to question 7, do you think that might have been manipulated by what Peter chose to relay?

9. Overall, do you think Peter has a good childhood, or a bad childhood?

10. Bones Buried in the Dirt purports to suggest through its stories what sort of person the main character will become as an adult. Based on your reading, what sort of adult do you think Peter will become?

I’m Betting Bacon Scope Is An April Fools’ Day Joke

As much as some people want it not to be, I’m really betting that Bacon Scope is a hoax. Coming just before April Fools’ Day, I’m just betting it’s a joke:

After all, you there is just this about page and a video (along with an amazing amount of wondering commentary all around Facebook as well as actual news sites where everyone is suspicious). There is no information about where to buy it, no links to any product ordering information, and no real specific product data. Also, this is right before April Fool’s Day. Let’s not forget that.

Besides, as freaky as people get for bacon, do you really think a bacon mouthwash would sell? Psychology sells, and people need to think something like this is making them clean. That’s why mint is almost always used for mouthwash, or something suitably tasting like medicine. Our brains associate that with clean teeth. Bacon? I’m not associating that with clean teeth and I don’t think anyone else would either.

There is also another thing that puzzles me. The website claims that somehow, despite tasting like bacon, the mouthwash leaves your mouth smelling minty. How is that possible? Smell is a huge part of taste. How could something taste like bacon and yet smell like mint? The sensory perception doesn’t seem like it would really work out. That really spells hoax to me.

Regardless, though some people might be wishing this wasn’t a hoax, I’m not really one of them. If I want bacon, I’m just going to go have some bacon. I wouldn’t make do with some crappy ‘bacon flavoring’ and so I don’t see the value of something tasting like bacon that isn’t real bacon. I just couldn’t see why it’d be worth the bother. Just go for the real bacon. Anything else is just pretending.

The Easter/April Fools’ Thing Isn’t Wrong But It May Not Apply To You

There has been a good amount of confusion about the Easter/April Fools’ meme that has been going around. You know the one, Easter and April Fools’ are on the same day this year so tell the kids to look for eggs you didn’t hide. The reason for the confusion is that Easter Sunday is March 31st this year.

People have been posting this pic quite a bit, only to have someone remind them that Easter Sunday is March 31st. The poster gets embarrassed, and then often assumes that the pic itself is an early April Fools’ day prank. This isn’t necessarily the case.

I think what this comes from is Easter Monday. Though this holiday isn’t celebrated by much of the United States, it is a holiday in many places. Though Easter Sunday isn’t on April Fool’s day this year, Easter Monday is. Thus, the meme isn’t necessarily wrong, unless it really was created by someone just trying to see if anyone would fall for the date confusion, but it may not really be applicable in most of the United States.

Contrary to popular US belief, not everything is necessarily wrong just because it doesn’t work in the US.