David S. Atkinson's Blog, page 263

Amazon Posts A Loss: I Had No Idea I Bought Quite That Many Books

I just saw an article about how Amazon recently posted a loss in their most recent quarterly earnings. Man, I had no idea I bought quite that many books.

As most people who know me are aware, I read quite a bit during the course of a year. Around about a year and a half ago, I realized that I was buying most of my books through Amazon. I still supported my local independent, Tattered Cover, as well as other independent bookstores when I happened into one, but I bought a lot from Amazon because I tended to pick up books which just weren’t usually stocked. I decided to make a real effort to buy from independents and generally only buy from Amazon when it was a book that could only be bought there.

And, it was actually much more convenient than I thought. That was the only advantage Amazon had for me, convenience. I could just order a book when the whim struck me and sooner or later it would show up at my house. However, I discovered I could order books just as easily through the Tattered Cover website and have then shipped to the store. I literally walk in front of the store every workday, so it was really easy just to walk in and grab what I ordered when it came in. They even called me when it was in, no shipping necessary.

So, it was going good. Then I saw that Amazon posted a loss this quarter. My only thought was: Man, I had no idea I’d been buying that much. I guess they really miss getting the majority of my business.

You Want To Know What’s Really Killing All The World’s Bees? Kate Middleton.

People keep talking about what’s killing all the world’s bees. Some people blame pesticides, others blame some unexplained bee virus. However, I have uncovered the truth. You want to know what’s killing all the world’s bees? Kate Middleton.

That’s right, Kate Middleton. Kate Middleton is killing bees.

I suppose she just couldn’t take having to live under the media persona of being the nice girl anymore. What with all the attention over her marriage to Prince William, the birth of Prince George Alexander Louis, and everything like that, she has to act a certain way all the time. Pleasant. Nice.

I guess that was all just driving her mad, having to act like that so much of the time. It must be, because she started killing the bees. I can’t really see into her head, but it’s the only rational explanation.

Some of the bees she pushed in front of speeding buses. Others she locked in garages with running cars. Sure, she made it “seem” like accidents, but the truth can’t hide forever. Recently, given how easy it’s been for her to get away with it, she’s just started stomping on them. I guess all the to do over the new baby hasn’t given her as much time and patience for bee murder finesse.

Regardless, there’s your answer to what is killing the bees. Kate Middleton. If we want to save the bees, then perhaps we should let Kate loosen up a bit and maybe not watch her so close. Stop the pressure.

You Should Check Out Streetfood By Christian Dzadek

I just wanted to let everyone know about a youtube show a writer friend of mine, Christian Dzadek, does. He’s teaching in Xi’an, China right now and he started putting out a show called Streetfood on youtube. Each episode is a couple of minutes long and is a mixture of an American’s perspective on China, touristy stuff, Chinese culture, and (of course) streetfood.

Check it out. It’s pretty fun. Get some of the experience of travel even if you’re not quite adventurous enough to move to China like Christian Dzadek. You can even subscribe so you get notified when new episodes come out.

You Don’t Need To Feel Guilty If You Don’t Review “Bones Buried in the Dirt” On Goodreads And Amazon

I’ve talked to a number of people recently who apologized to me that they hadn’t gotten around to reviewing my book, Bones Buried in the Dirt, on Goodreads and Amazon yet. It was really cool that they wanted to review, but I had to tell them that there was no need to apologize. I’ll tell all of you as well in case any of you are in the same situation. Do it if you want, regardless of whether the review is good/bad/indifferent and regardless of how many or few stars you give it, but there’s absolutely no need to feel guilty if you don’t.

I mean, it’s really cool when people review, especially when people review on both Goodreads and Amazon. I’m extremely grateful for each and every review and am humbled by the wonderful words about my book people have said. I publicly thank each and every person who has left a review, especially those who have made the effort to post the review in multiple places.

However, I would never want anyone to be obligated to have to review Bones Buried in the Dirt. It’s a wonderful think to do, but it’s definitely a favor for me to do it. Expecting people to do it or trying to obligate people to do it would be a rotten thing to do. Heck, I’m just thrilled if people read the book. If they like it, even better. If they leave reviews, better still. If they leave reviews in multiple places…well, you get where I’m going with this.

Anyway, feel free to just read, and hopefully enjoy, Bones Buried in the Dirt. If you read it (or have already read it) want to post reviews on the Goodreads page for Bones Buried in the Dirt and/or the Amazon page for Bones Buried in the Dirt, that would be really cool. However, don’t feel bad if you don’t want to or haven’t done it yet. I wouldn’t want to be responsible for anyone feeling bad.

Perhaps One Should Be Cautious When One’s Job Has Irreversible Consequences

Personally, I think one should be cautious when one’s job involves irreversible consequences. Just imagine you are in the shoes of David Underwood and his wife. You buy a lakeside house from your aunt that has been in the family for decades. You arrive to move in, and it’s gone. Why? A contractor made a mistake and demolished it instead of the condemned house next door.

I can just imagine how this went:

Fred: Is this the one we’re wrecking?

Ralph: Yup.

Fred: Are you sure?

Ralph: Yup.

Fred: I kind of thought it might be the one next door. You know, the dilapidated one with all the ‘CONDEMNED’ signs all over it. Kind of funny, given that this one is in perfect shape and doesn’t have any ‘CONDEMNED’ signs on it. You’re sure, though? This is the right address?

Ralph: Yup.

Fred: Ralph, you aren’t even looking at the address on the order sheet.

Ralph: Yup.

Now, I know that this a different kind of irreversible consequence than a doctor performing a surgery on the wrong knee, but I think it’s in the same ballpark. When your job has serious consequences that can’t be taken back, I just think it behooves one to be extra certain before starting work.

Hyperloop Sounds Cool But I’m Betting It Won’t Happen

Apparently, some people are working on some sort of massive vacuum tube/magnetic levitation system that could enable transport between LA and NYC in about 45 minutes. Though it sounds like the idea is technologically within reach and sounds really cool, I’m doubting that this is actually going to happen.

We’ve heard about this sort of thing before. Given that, why don’t we already have it? Why am I so skeptical? Elon Musk’s (apparently one of the people behind this) description of the project as  “a cross between a Concorde, a railgun and an air hockey table” yields an important clue. At least from what I’ve heard, a major reason behind the grounding of the Concorde was that it was too expensive.

Sure, we need faster and faster travel. Sure, airports suck and are getting worse. Sure, things are only going to get worse and worse as population increases. However, the US seems to be having problem coming up with money just to keep our bridges and other infrastructure maintained. Can anyone really come up with the money to actually put Hyperloop into action?

I hope so, but I’m kind of doubting it. Think of just between NYC and LA. Beyond the vehicle itself and the mechanism, we’d need to construct over 2700 miles of tube. Think of just how much material that would require. Think of how much the land rights would cost. Think of how much construction labor would be required. The cost would be staggering…and I’m just betting that people end up getting too staggered and put away their wallets.

This all sounds really cool, and I don’t know…maybe the rich eccentrics will find a way to pull this off. It’d be an amazing achievement. Still, given the way that so many other dream-big projects have turned out, I’m betting this one doesn’t end up actually being realized anytime soon.

Proof I’m Not Observant Enough

Writers are supposed to be observant, right? I guess I’m not as observant as I should be. Apparently someone shot at the train just a block from where I was the other night and I never heard a thing.

Don’t you think this is something that one should be aware of when it happens? Shooting a train? A block away from where you are?

Really, I never heard any shots. I didn’t hear anything. I don’t know what was behind all of this, but I’m really glad I wasn’t any closer than I was. My failure to observe what is going on around me could have been dangerous. Man, this is kind of weird.

Worse, the first thing that I thought about when I heard this wasn’t how close the shooting happened without me being aware of it, it was how it reminded me of a fake song from George Carlin’s old ‘Wonderful Wino Radio’ bit:

Now the big rockin’ sound of that great new group from
England—The KANSAS CITY BOYS! With-”MY BABY’S
DEAD”!!!!
“Brrrding-ding Brrrding-ding-ding-ding-ding . . . My baby’s
DEAD!! DE-EH-EH-AAAAUD! Got hit by a TRAIN! Big
‘ol train, diddle-do-do-do. I’m gonna GIT that train diddle-do-
do-do!U”

Man, what is wrong with me?

Alfredo Borodowski Is Pretty Fly For A Rabbi

I know I shouldn’t find this amusing, as his lawyer seems to be claiming that Rabbi Alfredo Borodowski actions relate to his bipolar disorder, but I can’t help myself. This guy is pulling people over people in traffic who make him mad. ‘Pretty fly for a rabbi’ just sums up how I feel about the situation.

Apparently, Rabbi Alfredo Borodowski has repeatedly gotten mad at people in traffic (for such things as driving too slow and cutting him off) and tried to get them to pull over while brandishing a badge. The badge apparently reads “Triborough Bridge and Tunnel Authority Officer 1338.” Worse, the bridge and tunnel authority apparently says that the badge is fake.

Of course, Alfredo Borodowski has apparently stated that he has not been attempting to impersonate an officer. He apparently claims that he has been trying to get people who commit traffic violations to pull over while threatening that he is going to call the police. That alone might not be illegal, but I’m not sure that it is legal for him to be trying to pull people over…much less how he is doing it (apparently lots of screaming involved) and the fact he is flashing a badge.

Regardless, if he is doing this because of imbalances caused by bipolar disorder, then I shouldn’t be laughing. Still, the idea of a rabbi pulling people over in traffic just amuses me. I’m sorry, but it does.

The Mitchell Corn Palace Is FINALLY Adding New Domes Resembling Ears Of Corn

I think everyone can join me in celebrating the fact that the Mitchell City Council has finally stepped into the 21st century and decided to add new domes resembling ears of corn to the Corn Palace in Mitchell, South Dakota. It’s about time. I just can’t believe that it’s taken them this long.

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Apparently, the new domes are part of a $7.2 million dollar project to renovate the Corn Palace. Improvements include new murals, a balcony, a wider lobby, and heating/cooling system upgrades, but the new domes are the real thing we’ve all been waiting for. Reportedly, the new domes will be lit and “will look like an ear of corn with the silks of the corn coming off.”

Thank god.

Do they realize how long we’ve all been waiting for this? Do they realize how poorly we’ve stacked up against the Russians in the corn palace race without the new domes? How could the Corn Palace even be taken seriously without lit up domes that look like an ear of corn with the silks of the corn coming off? It’s ludicrous. Obviously, these domes were sorely needed.

According to the article, the new domes (as well as the rest of the renovation) is being done “in an effort to draw in more maize-curious visitors.” Man, talk about a huge market, maize-curious visitors. Forget beach-goers, spring-breakers, or extreme sports enthusiasts. Maize-curious visitors is where the money is at.

Don’t Free The Sea Turtles

Now, I know that no one is going to be able to believe that any of the Kennedys were involved in anything illegal, but stick with me on this one. Apparently, Max and Robert F. Kennedy Jr. freed a leatherback turtle from a buoy line wrapped around its head and fins only to be told that they had violated the Endangered Species Act.

Those Kennedys. Can’t they just stay on the right side of the law?

Seriously, I’m not joking that they supposedly violated the law on this one. Apparently, a person had to be certified to handle the turtle in order to legally perform the rescue as the turtle was endangered.

Yeah, the turtle was endangered because it was wrapped in the buoy line. I suppose it would have been better just to leave the turtle tangled up. That sure would have protected it better. Got to have someone who is certified in 500-pound or more turtle de-tangling. No ordinary person can unwrap a turtle.

Granted, I understand that the purpose of the law is to make sure well-intentioned people don’t end up hurting endangered species and that under many circumstances, such well-intentioned people might do more harm than good. Still, unwrapping a turtle from a buoy line? Did we really need a professional for this? Do we really want to completely discourage rescue of endangered species under all conditions?

Really, I probably don’t know enough about what could have happened to be sure. I just know that it seems awful silly. Free the turtles!