David S. Atkinson's Blog, page 250

Don’t Ever Ask Me To Go To Wheatfields

Don’t ever ask me to go to Wheatfields. I’m going on record right now as saying I’m done with the place. Some people really like it and I don’t mean to disparage the place, but I’m done. That’s it.

I haven’t really wanted to eat dinner or lunch there in years. I tried it quite a few times, and though nothing was really wrong with the place, I just didn’t care for it. The food was okay, but I was always mildly disappointed in it. I’d have to describe it as Midwestern comfort food, but without any real flair. It would fill you up, but it just didn’t seem to be worth the experience to me. Frankly, it seemed like a pricier version of Garden Cafe, and I didn’t much care for that either. If I need to be fed, there are cheaper options. If I want an experience, Wheatfields doesn’t seem to be able to provide it. Either way, it’s not for me.

The final straw food wise for me was the fondue I had years ago, dinner not dessert. I don’t know if they still do it this way, but this is the way it was served to me: cold cheese. Cold cheese that was liquid at room temperature. I was done with their main menu items. It disgusted me, though others may have liked it. I just would not have called that fondue.

Regardless, I remained open to desserts there for a while, just not meals. However, this weekend killed that.

I went with some friends to Wheatfields for dessert. I had a bit of a problem deciding, since they have seemingly hundreds of dessert items on their menu, many of which are not in any way self-explanatory, and no descriptions at all. You could go up front and look at the case, or ask the waitress, or guess, but that really became a lot of work. I got sick of trying and just picked something. That should still work, right?

Wrong. Twenty minutes or so later (we only ordered dessert), the waitress brought out the desserts my friends ordered. That was the point she decided to tell me that they were out of what I ordered. I faced having to decide again, having to ask for yet more descriptions and such, and just decided to scrap it. Besides, my friends were already eating. By the time I decided and the waitress brought me something new, my friends would be done. It might have worked if someone had told me they didn’t have my item earlier, but this was too much. I was done.

As such, I just sat and watched my friends eat dessert and silently swore that I would never again return to Wheatfields. It may be picky, but this was just the final straw. When I get annoyed each and every time I go to a place, at some point I’ll just swear off going. I have reached that point for Wheatfields.

I Told You I Wasn’t Going To Read Much In November

I told you all I wasn’t going to read my in November. I was going to concentrate on Nanowrimo instead. This is what I actually ended up reading in November:

Tears of the Giraffe (No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency, #2)


Smith, Alexander McCall *







The Day We Delay


Seidlinger, Michael J. *







Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil


Berendt, John







The Monster Opera


Stohlman, Nancy *







The Double


Pelecanos, George







Raw: A Love Story


Smith, Mark Haskell *







Doomed (Damned #2)


Palahniuk, Chuck







Since I Last Saw You


Kuder, Alice Ann *







The Lost Weekend


Jackson, Charles







The Hundred Brothers: A Novel


Antrim, Donald







Summerland


Chabon, Michael







Grudge Punk


McNee, John *







The Ground Beneath Her Feet


Rushdie, Salman

That’s right, only 13 books, and one of them a flash novel. To give you an idea why that’s weird, my total for the year by October 31 was 281.Told you Nanowrimo was going to take a toll on my November. Now, back to reading….

The Best Thanksgiving Clip Ever

I just realized that I didn’t do a Thanksgiving post this year. We’ll just remedy that right now. Instead of me actually writing something, let’s just watch the best Thanksgiving clip EVER.

Remember WKRP in Cincinatti? Take it away, Les:

Anybody Got A Copy Of “The Artist In Question” by Michael J Seidlinger They’d Sell?

Hey, has anybody got a copy of The Artist in Question by Michael J. Seidlinger they’d be willing to sell me? I’m having a hell of a time finding a copy, so I thought I’d put a note about this here on the blog.

You all know Michael, I’m sure. His newest book, which I have and loved, is The Laughter of Strangers. I’ve also got and read copies of his books Makeout, My Pet Serial Killer, In Great Company, and The Sky Conducting. I just got a copy of The Day We Delay, but haven’t had a chance to read it yet. I’m supposed to have copies of Metronome and Calmer Shores on the way at some point soon.

Really, other than various books that have included his work as opposed to books of his own, The Artist in Question would make my Michael Seidlinger collection (at least for the moment) complete. The only problem? I haven’t found a copy.

I doubt you have either, but I thought I’d post about this just in case. Let me know.

My Wife And I Play A New Game

My wife and I have taken up playing a new game. Though I wouldn’t advise playing it, I will tell you about it. Believe me, this game isn’t as fun as it sounds.

Recently, my wife picked up a new body of body wash at Target. She brought it home and placed the bag containing the wash in the living room.  Immediately, my wife and I began playing the new game of ‘ignore the body wash.’

The rules were pretty simple. All each of us had to do to play was ignore the fact that there was a bottle of body wash sitting in the living room. The one thing we could not do, which would have resulted in a loss and made the other player a winner, was to take it upstairs and put it in the shower where it belonged.

Neither of us did this.

However, then my wife apparently decided that the game was boring and that we needed a new game. The new game was ‘hide the body wash.’ She cleaned the living room.

It was about that time that I decided to give up on the former game as well. I was going to concede and take the body wash to the shower. However, I could not find it. Neither could my wife. She had no recollection of moving the body wash, yet it was nowhere I looked. Obviously, the game had shifted into ‘find the body wash.’

As of this time, the body wash is still unfound.

Frankly, my wife and I are both lousy at this last game. The only way to locate the body wash is to probably bring in a ringer, ask someone over and make them look for it. I’m not feeling good about their chances either. I think we just need to buy a new bottle of body wash.

Perhaps this time we should take upstairs to the shower sooner.

Nanowrimo Week 4 Update (The End)

I promise, this is my last Nanowrimo post. I know a lot of people are sick of hearing about Nanowrimo, but since I posted updates for the last three weeks, I wanted to post an update for week 4.

Here it is (Tentative title is Apocalypse All the Time):

Day 22: 3,060

Day 23: 1,323

Day 24: 1,826

Day 25: 0 (I finished the draft of the novel on Day 24 and I’m not writing any more for a bit.)

Day 26: See Day 25

Day 27: See Day 26

Day 28: See Day 27

Running total for week 4: 60,667

Yeah, I finished the draft of the novel on day 24 so I wasn’t going to write any more. I know it’s still November, but screw it. I need a break and you’re probably all sick of hearing about this anyway. I’m out.

Now I’m going to go and read for a while.

Worst Nintendo Game I Ever Bought

I know what you all have been thinking. You’ve all been thinking: What is the worst Nintendo game David Atkinson ever bought? I know this has been on everyone’s mind. I know it.

The answer, of course, is Urban Champion.

Now, some people may like this game. Most have never heard of it. Personally, I hated this game.

When I first bought my old 8-bit NES, I had a little more money than the system cost (with Super Mario Brothers, I didn’t have quite enough for the action set) and wanted to get a second game. I didn’t have much money, so my options were limited. There was one game I could buy, so I bought it. Urban Champion. What a waste that was.

Let me give you the run down. You’re a guy. There’s another guy. You’re on a two dimensional city block. You can punch high, punch low, or block. That’s about it. You hit the other guy until he rolls backward off of the block to the next block. Hopefully he doesn’t do that to you. If you hit him back three times in a row, he falls in a manhole and you win.

That’s it.

Well, there’s also some stuff where cops come by and you pretend not to be fighting, somebody dropping flowerpots from windows, and stuff like that, but that’s just a little lace on the window. The above is about it for the actual game as I remember it.

I should have saved my money until I had enough for a real game.

Seriously, take a look:

My Pancake Recipe

Since my new book The Garden of Good and Evil Pancakes (forthcoming from EAB Publishing in spring 2014) has the word ‘pancakes’ in the title, I thought it only fitting that I give you my recipe for pancakes. Isn’t that nice?

Well, here it is:

#1 Go to restaurant that serves pancakes.

#2 Order pancakes at said restaurant.

#3 (and this is the critical step) Receive said ordered pancakes.

And there we have it! Isn’t that an easy pancake recipe?

What’s that you say? That isn’t really a recipe? Well, one of the definitions (number 3, specifically) of ‘recipe’ is “a formula or procedure for doing or attaining something.” The above is definitely the most common procedure that I use for attaining pancakes.

So there.

(Anyway, have you ‘liked’ the facebook page for the book yet? Best way to stay on top of news about it.)

Levin or Levine

I heard that Adam Levine was named People’s sexiest man alive. That’s neither here nor there for me, but it is confusing. Every time I see his name I think people are talking about Adam Levin.

Seriously, when I first saw people quoting Adam Levine, I really thought they were talking about Adam Levin. I had no idea who Adam Levine was, but I did know Adam Levin (author of The Instructions and Hot Pink). I cannot emphasize this enough: I am not joking. It really took me a while to find out that there was a person named Adam Levine, that people weren’t just adding an extra e to Levin, and that Adam Levine was apparently famous for something other than writing novels.

Obviously I don’t listen to much Maroon 5.

I figured things out eventually, but it took a bit.

Regardless, I still automatically think Adam Levin when I see the name Adam Levine. As such, congrats Adam Levin. According to my interpretation of the universe, People just named you sexiest man alive.

I Just Realized That I Missed The Reading I Wanted To Go To This Month

I just realized that I missed the reading I wanted to go to at Tattered Cover this month. It wasn’t anyone I knew already, but I’m still kind of ticked at myself. I kept thinking it was next week, but it was last Thursday. Now I probably won’t be able to hit one this month.

I try to hit at least one a month. Some times I hit two. Last year I hit at least one a month each month of the year. I was on track for that this month as well, but then I missed. Now there’s not another fiction author coming before the end of the month (other than one at Highlands Ranch on a weekday, which just isn’t possible for me to reach in time after work).

I’m kind of bummed about it, but at least it wasn’t an author I was really looking forward to. When there isn’t an author I know already coming, I leaf through who is coming and find somebody who looks good. I get to read more different writers that way, and that’s what I did this time, but then I missed the date. First time in two years I won’t have hit at least one a month.

Hopefully this doesn’t start a trend for me. With all that was going on for Nanowrimo, I just lost track.