David S. Atkinson's Blog, page 249

Advice To Fake Sign Language Interpreters

Personally, I wouldn’t recommend taking a job as a sign language interpreter if you don’t know sign language. That’s just me. However, if you are going to do that, I might suggest that you not try to pull it off at an event as high-profile as Nelson Mandela’s memorial.

I’m sure you’ve all heard about this, how the sign language interpreter (Thamsanqa Jantjie) at Nelson Mandela’s memorial was apparently just making stuff up, waving his hands around. This has caused a pretty big stink.

Personally, I’d think you’d test somebody before hiring a sign language interpreter. If you don’t know sign language, find someone you trust who does to do the test. If you are going to try to fake something like this, perhaps an event that won’t be closely scrutinized by the entire world would be a better bet.

Just saying.

Of course, Thamsanqa Jantjie has made statements that he does know sign language and has successfully translated for other high-profile events. He claims that he suffered from a schizophrenic attack during the event. This would change the situation a bit, but perhaps if it is true then he shouldn’t have been without a backup for an event of this kind. Once he knew he was having this kind of problem, or once someone trained to monitor realized, perhaps the backup should have stepped in.

Besides…even if he was hallucinating, did he not hear any of what he was supposed to translate? Just saying he was hallucinating leaves me with questions as to why almost none (if any) of what he did turned out to actually be sign language. Simply waving one’s hands was not the way to handle this situation, especially one he had experienced frequently before.

Really, I don’t know what the situation here really was. I have a feeling that this is going to get weirder before everything finally settles. Frankly, it’s already pretty weird.

UPS: Please Don’t Throw Packages In My Backyard

Dear UPS, I have a request of you for the next time you are delivering a package for me. Please bring it to my front door. Please do not throw it over the fence into my backyard. Thank you.

Seriously, I just go a call from my wife. She happened to look out back and found a package that UPS delivered sitting in the snow on our back patio. This is in no way reasonable. Our front door borders the street. It is where our address is posted and where our mailbox is. Our townhome is on the corner, bordered by an alley. Parallel to the alley is our back fence.  It does not open from the alley, only from our backyard. There is no address posted on our fence gate and no indication that this is an appropriate place to deliver a package.

When the UPS driver tried our front door and didn’t manage to raise anyone, he didn’t leave the package on the front stoop or a delivery notice. Instead, he walked down the alley and tossed the package over our fence. He didn’t even make sure it landed in a dry spot, he just tossed it over right into the snow. Mind you, not that tossing a package over a fence is a reasonable way to deliver a package.

How much does UPS delivery cost these days? Whether or not they think they’re getting enough for it, I do expect delivered packages to be handed to me safely.

Honestly, this was just stupid. Who does something like that?

You Should Check Out Samuel Snoek-Brown’s Holiday List

You should really check out Samuel Snoek-Brown’s holiday list. He’s got some great books on here.

I’m sure you know Sam (author of Box Cutters and the forthcoming novel Hagridden as well as production editor for Jersey Devil Press, professor of writing, and many other things as Sam is a busy guy). I’m not sure you know how cool a guy he is, though, because he assembled this list of books people should look into buying for the holidays (whether for themselves or as gifts). There’s a lot of cool books on there, but he was even cool enough to include my book, Bones Buried in the Dirt. That makes Sam one of my favorite people this holiday season.

Even beyond Bones Buried in the Dirt though, there’s a lot of good stuff on this list. These are just some samples:

- Gabriel Blackwell, The Natural Dissolution of Fleeting-Improvised-Men: The Last Letter of H. P. Lovecraft

- Matthew Burnside, Infinity’s Jukebox

- Justin Lawrence Daugherty, Whatever Don’t Drown Will Always Rise

- Kevin Sampsell, This is Between Us

- Michael J. Seidlinger, The Laughter of Strangers

- Samuel Snoek-Brown, Box Cutters

- Ben Tanzer, Orphans

- Susan Tepper, The Merrill Diaries

- Nathaniel Tower, Nagging Wives, Foolish Husbands

- Ryan Werner, Murmuration

- Dena Rash Guzman, Life Cycle

There’s much more on the list, this are just a few that caught my eye (particularly since I don’t want to detract from Sam’s list and want you to go check it out for yourself).

How Did I Not Ace Undergrad?

I don’t know if I’ve complained about this before, and I really don’t care if I have, but given the stories I hear from professor friends of mine I really have to wonder how I didn’t end up acing my entire undergraduate career.

Being involved in writing, I know a lot of professors and teachers. Undergraduate, graduate, high school, and so on. Being friends with such people on Facebook, I hear a lot of stories when they get frustrated with students. Rampant plagiarism, extreme apathy, downright inexplicable behavior (such as asking how to get an A in the course in the final weeks after not having turned in the majority of the assignments), and so on. Based on the complaints I’ve seen, this sort of thing must happen a lot.

So how did I not end up totally acing all my undergrad courses? I went to class. I paid attention. I did my assignments and actually turned in my own work. I read assigned readings. Even if I didn’t care for the subject, I did my best to engage. Granted, I’m sure I mucked up a thing or two and must have forgotten a deadline or some such thing, but still. Given how bad many students seem to be and how many of them end up getting by in college, how did I not have straight 100%’s across the board?

It baffles me sometimes.

Then I remember, the majority can’t be like this. The stories I hear are from frustrated professors, not pleased ones. Pleased ones don’t rant on Facebook. I have to keep that in mind.

Still, there are way more students pulling a lot more crap in some undergrad institutions than I can really believe. I just can’t believe it’s true sometimes.

Article About Man Locked In Plane Raises More Questions Than It Answers

Apparently, Tom Wagner fell asleep on a United Express flight from Louisiana to Houston and the flight crew somehow missed him when they left and locked up the plane. Apparently, he had to call his girlfriend to get someone to come and let him out. This all seems fairly self-explanatory at first, though amusing and strange, but then I start thinking. Really, there are questions raised here that the article doesn’t answer.

I mean, the guy wakes up alone on an airplane. Sure, he calls for help to be let out…but did he go check out the cockpit? Was the door to it open? If so, I hope he at least went to check it out up there while he was waiting.

After all, it used to be if you were a kid flying and things weren’t busy you could go up and sit in the cockpit sometimes, just to see things. However, I didn’t first fly until I was in high school. As such, I was never invited to check out the cockpit (and no, I’ve never been in a Turkish prison). Now days, you can’t get into the cockpit unless you’re flight crew, perhaps only if you’re one of the pilots. You sometimes get to see in when you walk by when the flight is on the ground, but you never really get to take a close look.

I’d love to get to sit in the cockpit and look at all the flight stuff up there.

Did Tom take the opportunity to check this out? Was the opportunity even available? Remember the video of the guy freaking out when he’s alone on the train? Did Tom do anything like that?

The article doesn’t mention this at all. I really wish it did. This is a legitimate question.

Chain Posts Teach Me Lack Of Concern About Others

I posted yesterday about my reaction to all the chain posts going around on Facebook. However, I don’t think I’ve exhausted this topic yet. I actually think these chain posts are teaching me to be less concerned about my fellow human beings.

After all, the primary thrust of the ones I’ve been seeing lately involve people posting some shocking statement and then assigning the people who comment to express concern the task of furthering the chain. I’m pregnant! I just quit my job! There’s a raccoon in my bedroom! You get the idea.

As such, when I see someone post something that should concern me, something where I should be commenting to find out what’s going on to at least express sympathy/congratulations/offer to help and such, I am becoming unwilling to get involved. Oh, it’s probably just a chain post, I think. Better ignore it.

I keep thinking of “The Boy Who Cried Wolf.” At some point, people I know are going to need help, and I’m just going to be conditioned to ignore it. I’ll assume it’s just a chain post. Granted, most instances of major life events won’t just involve a single Facebook post, but I’m thinking the modern world doesn’t need to be any less empathetic than it already is.

Chain Post

I’ve been seeing a number of chain posts going around Facebook. The one I’ve been seeing most recently is where people post something bizarre and then assign whoever asks questions posts of their own. I think that’s how it works.

I’ve been prudent enough so far not to ask questions.

Regardless, these things remind me of chain letters. I’m avoiding them. In fact, I shall now summarize how I feel about them with my own chain post:

SAVE EDDY!

There’s a fundraiser I’d really like you to check out. I don’t know if you are familiar with Edward J Rathke, but you should be if you aren’t. He’s a hell of a writer. Unfortunately, Eddy was defrauded by a guy using the alias “James Xavier Reed” as part of Eddy’s freelance work to the tune of about two grand. Long story short, neither Eddy’s bank nor the police are really going to be able to help him.

However, we can.

This fundraiser has been set up to try to offset this loss for Eddy. As part of this, Bartleby Snopes (through the agency of the talented Nathaniel Tower) is putting together The Revenge of the Scammed Anthology. I hope to have a piece in this anthology myself, and copies of the anthology are included in the perks. Authors who may be included (the list isn’t finalized yet) may include:

Jesus Angel Garcia
David S. Atkinson
Allie Marini Batts
Ryan W Bradley
Paul D Brazil
Darlene Campos
Garrett Cook
Sandy Barrett Ebner
Rory Fleming
Susan Gibb
Michael Gonzalez
Amanda Gowin
Douglas Hackle
Sally Heymann
Don Lawson
William Lemon
h. l. nelson
J David Osborne
Alex Pruteanu
Stephen V Ramey
Matt Rowan
Robyn Ryle
Michael J. Seidlinger
Grergory Sherl
Ryan Shoemaker
Sam Snoek-Brown
Ben Tanzer
Susan Tepper
Refe Tuma
Richard Thomas
Nathaniel Tower
Robert Vaughan

There are some other great perks including various unique rewards from Eddy, Ryan W Bradley, JA Tyler, Ben Tanzer, Broken River Books and many other cool and interesting people. Fingerpainting, editing services, signed books, all kinds of cool stuff.

So, check out the  fundraiser. Contribute if you can. I already have. Spread the word. If nothing else, as the  fundraiser page mentions, you can always at least buy Eddy a beer next time you see him.

SAVE EDDY!

Sweet Potato Fries Suck

I’m sorry to anyone who likes them, but sweet potato fries suck.

I know some people dig these things and I really have no idea why. I keep trying them, mostly unintentionally. I keep hoping that my tastes will change and I’ll start liking them for some reason. This never happens. They still suck.

I don’t know when these things suddenly became trendy, but at some point they did. Suddenly, all the fashionable restaurants were all about the sweet potato fries instead of potato fries. Maybe it was for variety, or maybe it was because people are nutritionally afraid of fried potatoes these days and think fried sweet potatoes are better. I don’t know.

I do know that I don’t like them.

Frankly, I’m not big on yams to begin with. I hate sweet potato fries. I hate candied yams. About the only thing I can stomach is a fresh steamed yam with maybe a little butter or margarine. That can be interesting from time to time, but only so much. Sweet potato fries are right out. Candied yams are even more disgusting.

As such, whoever made sweet potato fries suddenly popular is now the subject of my everlasting disdain. Because these things are now everywhere, they keep winding up on my plate when I don’t pay enough attention to the sides that come with a meal I order. One restaurant I frequent will only substitute the sweet potato fries with a meal I like for cole slaw, which I also despise. As a result, I don’t get the meal I like very much. In any event, person who made sweet potato fries so popular, you suck.

The Pipe I Was Thinking Of

I just thought I’d share something with you all today. This here:

is the pipe I was thinking of when I first got the idea for “The Pipe” from my book Bones Buried in the Dirt (available from Amazon, Tattered Cover, of the Bookworm in Omaha).

I didn’t actually live anywhere near this thing when I was a kid, but we used to drive by it now and again. I’d see it and think about it.

I suppose the fans are there to keep people from walking out on it, which is exactly what made me think about walking out on it. I never did, but that pipe would make me think about it every time I saw it. The image bubbled around in my head for many years, and eventually morphed into the story in the book.

Anyway, not a big thing, but I thought I’d share.