David S. Atkinson's Blog, page 242

Darkside Of Buzzfeed State Quiz Revealed!!!!!

Thought that the Buzzfeed “What State Do You Actually Belong In Quiz?” was fun? Thought it was harmless? Did you think it’d be cool to share your results? BZZZZZTTTTTT!!!! You thought wrong.

In a surprising turn of events, the CIA has released information that the Buzzfeed “What State Do You Actually Belong In Quiz?” is actually part of a secret government project to redistribute population in the United States. Faced with extreme crowding in places like Manhattan and San Francisco while entire states like Wyoming are virtually deserted, secret sources in the United States government came up with a plan: the Buzzfeed “What State Do You Actually Belong In Quiz?”

That’s right. Whatever you got, that’s where you’re going. Anyone who was smart enough to not take the quiz can stay where they are. Everyone else, better get moving. You agreed to this all in the fine print on the Buzzfeed site. No use whining about it now.

Believe me, I’m not happy about it either. Apparently, I’m moving to Georgia.

Thanks, Obama.

Dear Email On My Phone

Dear email on my phone: you are useless. That is all.

Seriously. I can understand it taking an unholy amount of time to download email, particularly when there are attachments. However, just giving up and displaying “this message has not been downloaded from the server” is completely useless. Why do I even both having email on my phone if you’re going to do that?

I could understand if there was a selection I could make to go and download the email when presented with the above error. However, I see no such option. You are reporting to me that I have an email…but you have no intention of giving me any way to get it.

Nor will you stop displaying this message. I can exit out of my email, but you will simply display this same message when I come back to the email I want to see. You have no intention of ever getting my email. I can force quit the email client and then try again, but more often than not you try for a moment and then again display “this message has not been downloaded from the server.”

Seriously, email? Email? Email gives you problems?

Honestly, if I can’t get my email to come up on my phone then the point of having one weakens a bit.I still use it for other things, but a smart phone has to be useful otherwise it’s an expensive brick and I’d end up doing without it.

I can understand it taking a while to download streaming video, but not being able to get a simple email is garbage. There’s just no excuse for not having some way to make sure I can actually get my email if you are planning to offer that feature.

I’m Part Of The Reason That Restaurant Closed

The wife and I were craving German food. We didn’t feel like driving all the way out to Colorado Springs, Arvada, or Boulder, so we decided to go to Cafe Berlin in downtown Denver. However, the wife checked and it turns out they closed. I was kind of sad about this, but apparently I was part of the problem.

They moved at one point from a location near downtown to the 16th street mall itself. Apparently, the move didn’t work out like they hoped and they closed. How am I at least partly to blame? Well, they closed in August and I just found out about this in February. Obviously, I haven’t been going much to support them.

It’s sad, but it was a lot harder to get to in the new location. Parking is terrible near the 16th street mall, so we had to take the train down and then the mall shuttle. We just didn’t feel like going through that all that often and didn’t get there as often after they moved.

Frankly, the location wasn’t great. It was on the main drag there, but it was hidden up on the second floor. The atmosphere was definitely a come down from the previous location. It had more room, but it felt more like a strip mall place than a German restaurant. The old place really felt like old world German.

There had been complaints about the service and the food since the move as well. The wife and I thought the food was still good in the few times we went to the new location, but we did have problems with the service anytime we didn’t get the owner lady. Everyone else we happened to get just moved really slow (particularly on drinks).

Regardless, we still liked the food there and are sad that Cafe Berlin is gone, but I have to admit that there’s only so much I can complain if it can be gone for six months before I notice. If I wanted it to stay, I probably should have gone there more often.

Tune In To “The Unknown Show” With Bud Smith 7PM Eastern March 11

I just wanted to clue everyone in to the fact that they should be tuning in to The Unknown Show with Bud Smith at 7PM Eastern on March 11, 2014.

I’m going to be on the show talking about my novel in story form Bones Buried in the Dirt, perhaps my upcoming novel The Garden of Good and Evil Pancakes, and maybe some other things. Alissa Nutting, author of Tampa and Unclean Jobs for Women and Girls, and Nathan Leslie, author of The Tall Tale Tommy Twice, will also be on the show talking about their projects.

Click this link to listen live, or enjoy it as an archive later, after the live stream is over. This will be a show full of stories, insider looks at the stories that shaped the stories and hopefully much more. Thanks for your support. Pass it on.

Mole Man Gets Himself Some Vintage Corvettes And The Cops Are Clueless

Recently, a sinkhole at the Corvette Museum swallowed 8 vintage Corvettes. I’ve heard people talking about this, but no one has apparently realized the obvious. Mole Man now has himself 8 vintage Corvettes and the cops are none the wiser.

I’m sure you all remember Mole Man:

I remember Mole Man in particular from the old crappy Fantastic Four cartoons. He was once a normal person, but turned to a villain because he was shunned by society. In the crappy cartoons I saw, he and his band of subterranean creatures had hollowed out passages beneath all major cities and put them on giant elevator lifts. Then, he’d lower the lifts and bring the cities down into his subterranean world. The Fantastic Four, of course, stopped him by taking out the mechanisms for the lifts so he couldn’t lower them anymore. The cities were saved. At least, that’s how I remember it.

Heck, check out the bits from one of the cartoons for yourself:

We won’t get into how no one noticed anyone digging under all of the world’s major cities, or how much problems that would cause even if the lifts couldn’t be used to lower the cities anymore. Seemed like all that would cause some major subsidence problems and be pretty noticeable to me, but the cartoon glossed over that and so will we.

However…vintage Corvettes suddenly being swallowed up by the ground? Clearly Mole Man used his elevator lifts to steal himself some vintage Corvettes. The police suspect nothing, though. The Fantastic Four should really get on this.

I Just Caught This Man Urinating On My House

Do you know this man?

I caught him urinating on my house at 4:15PM on February 12, 2014. I figure if he is going to do that then I can share his picture.

Dim Sum Restaurant Is Lucky No Other Dim Sum Restaurants Were Open

The wife and I went to a dim sum restaurant the other evening. We were craving baked pork buns and baked custard buns. We ordered, and they told us they were out of both baked pork buns and baked custard buns. They were lucky we didn’t walk out right then.

My wife and I love dim sum, but baked pork buns and baked custard buns are our favorites. They are enough to make or break a dim sum meal for us.

But…they were out. They offered us steamed pork buns and/or steamed custard buns, but those aren’t even comparable. I don’t dig steamed pork buns or steamed custard buns. I want baked. My wife feels the same way.

It wasn’t as if we blamed them. We know they would have given us the baked ones if they could. They only prep so many for a day, as only makes sense to avoid waste, and they’d run out. Still, we might have walked, no matter how much we like that particular place…if another dim sum place had been open.

Most dim sum is a weekend brunch kind of deal. Restaurants tend to serve it at very specific times. The restaurant we were at was the only one in town we know of that does dim sum at any time. As such, there was nowhere else to go for dim sum including baked pork buns and baked custard buns.

We were stuck.

We made the best of it, though. We got some shrimp dumplings and such. Still, they were lucky. As much as we understood and as fond as we are of that place, we might have walked had there been other options.

Did Craftmatic Ever Say Their Beds Were Quality?

For some reason, I’ve been thinking a lot about the old Craftmatic Adjustable Bed commercials. I’m sure you know the ones. If not, watch it with me:

There used to be a ton of these things. Maybe there still are and I just don’t see them anymore. The big question is: do they ever say that Craftmatic Adjustable Beds are quality?

If you watched and/or remember, you might know why I ask this. The Craftmatic commercials were always saying that their beds cost a fraction of “these quality flat beds.” However, they never said that their beds were quality too. They said they were adjustable, had heat and massage, but made no mention as far as I remember regarding the quality of the adjustable beds.

Were the adjustable beds not quality?

I don’t know. I’ve never used one. Perhaps this was just an oversight, or perhaps they weren’t quite willing to go out on a limb and claim that their products were ‘quality.’

This. Because.

This:

Because.

More Toy Movie Ideas

Apparently, there was a lego movie. Apparently, it was successful. I’ve even heard that it was successful enough that other toy-based movies are expected. That bugs me a little, though it probably shouldn’t.

Really, I have no idea what the lego movie is about. I haven’t seen it, a preview for it, or anything about it other than it exists and people seem to enjoy it. I’m not going to see it, but it’s probably a decent enough thing, despite how weird it seems to me in general concept.

I mean, I could understand movies like Transformers and G.I. Joe. These were toy-based, but they had basic plots as part of their general concept. Legos? Legos are building blocks. To my understanding, there wasn’t a plot involved in the general concept.

Now, I’m sure they made one. I’m sure this isn’t just an hour and a half or so of blocks getting struck together. Still, that’s what I imagined. As such, I came up with ideas for some similar movies:

- Hopscotch: The Legend Continues

- Jacks: The Deadliest Game

- Crazy Eights: The Final Nightmare

- Jump Rope: The Twisted Web

-Lincoln Logs: Death in the Valley

Sorry, I just felt curmudgeony when I heard about this.