David S. Atkinson's Blog, page 241

So Now There Is A ‘What animal are you?’ Quiz?

So now there is a “What animal are you?” quiz. I have only one thought about this: Humans are animals. If you get any other answer than human, and I doubt this quiz even has that as a possible result, there is a problem.

That is all.

The Oscar’s Apparently Were Last Night

Last night was a little weird for me. Apparently, it was the Oscar’s. I wasn’t paying much attention, but plenty of people were talking about it. My wife even watched some of it. As such, I couldn’t help repeatedly hearing that the Oscar’s were happening. People, films, and/or whatever were winning Oscar’s.

This confused me.

For one thing, I’m getting over a cold and I was only half paying attention. For another thing, I have a cat named Oscar. Surely you remember, I’ve mentioned him before:

As such, it kept seeming to me that there were a bunch of people awarding and/or trying to win my cat. This is not cool.

People! Oscar is my cat! You can’t have him! I don’t care how good your movie was, or your acting, or whatever. Oscar is mine and you can’t have him.

Glad we’ve got that cleared up.

You Should Vote For My Lay’s Flavor

You know how they’ve got that “design your own Lay’s” (Lay’s Do Us A Flavor) thing? I did one:

https://www.dousaflavor.com/#!/flavors/details?id=10680831

You should check it out. You should vote for it. I really want to see this happen.

I bet Dick Cheney would be all over these.

There’s A Chance That Michael Williams Isn’t Dumber Than A Sack Of Hammers

There is a chance that Michael Williams is not dumber than a sack of hammers. I don’t know how big that chance is, but there is a chance. That’s about the furthest I’d be willing to go.

After all, despite what this article suggests, perhaps Mr. Williams did not intentionally counterfeit a bill that has never existed, much less one that is so astronomically large as to be comical (a trillion dollar bill). Perhaps he made the bill or obtained it as a joke. Perhaps he never intended on passing it off as the real thing, much less at an Applebee’s where they couldn’t possibly carry enough cash to be able to make change.

(Just how big was his Applebee’s tab?)

I mean, perhaps his debit card was declined and he had no other way to pay. Perhaps he knew he was sunk at that point anyway and just decided to pull out his joke trillion and see what happened.

It’s possible, particularly since he apparently was actually arrested for an outstanding contempt of court charge as opposed to passing counterfeit bills when Applebee’s called the cops about the obviously phony bill. It could have possibly happened that way, meaning that Mr. Williams might not necessarily have been dumber than a sack of hammers. Not necessarily.

But it isn’t very likely.

16 Years!!!!!!!!! Amazon: Take This Listing Down

16 years!!! 16 god damned years! I can’t believe it, 16 years!

If you’re a Hunter Thompson fan, you probably already know why I’m so exasperated by 16 years. If you aren’t, you might need an explanation. This is all about The Mutineer: Rants, Ravings, and Missives from the Mountaintop 1977-2005, the final volume of Thompson’s letters.

Why am I upset? They just moved the release date again. This isn’t the first time. Heck, I’ve written posts about it before because the book was first supposed to be released in 2005. I’ll remind you, it’s 2014. Every so often, the date for the release would get moved up further in time, usually six months to a year. Supposedly, Anita stated back in 2009 that the book had ‘sensitive’ letters in it and they wanted the dust to settle before publication.

Recently, it was scheduled to go on March 1, 2014. It got within a few days, so I went ahead and preordered yet again. Then, yesterday, I got a message on a thread I’m following (where I’ve insisted that this book is purely imaginary and can thus never be published) that the date had been moved up again. To March 1, 2030.

YES, I SAID 2030. THE BOOK IS DELAYED AGAIN BY 16 YEARS!!!!

Presuming it even publishes then, this book will have supposedly been on release for a quarter of a century. This is ridiculous. How sensitive are those letters? Who even cares anymore about what’s in them? Either you know you’re going to publish the book on a certain date or you know that you can’t until a bunch of people die…in which case you can’t give a release date for the book.

MOVING THE RELEASE DATE TO 2030 IS CRAP!

Amazon, take the listing for this book down. Why are you even maintaining it? At this point, the book won’t at least come out for 16 years…and it definitely hasn’t been released for the 9 years you’ve had the listing up. Why are you still letting this sit on your site?

Sprint Is Ticking Me Off

Sprint is ticking me off. I apparently get no 4G reception of any kind in Denver. That means I can occasionally have to mess with my phone for ten minutes to get a Facebook update. Goodreads repeatedly fails to connect. I even have problems getting email to download. This sucks.

I guess Denver apparently has no 4G LTE coverage. At least, not at my home near downtown, my office downtown, or anywhere else I go.

Of course, I do pay a 4G surcharge because I have a 4G phone. Honestly, with poor data coverage like this, there is almost no reason to have a smart phone.

Supposedly, Denver got Sprint 4G coverage a long time ago. I think it was one of the other 4G standards other than LTE and I guess it went away. All I see now is 3G on my phone, though even when I used to see 4G come up on other phones I had it didn’t stay around long either home, at work, or much of anywhere else.

Worse, I appear to get 4G LTE coverage sometimes when I visit Omaha. Even Lincoln, Nebraska. Spring apparently has 4G LTE coverage there that is better than Denver.

This sucks.

I don’t know if other networks like Verizon are better, but I keep imagining that they are. I’ve been with sprint for over ten years now, but the data coverage better be improved by the time my contract is up next time. It’s gotten bad enough that I’m honestly considering switching. I don’t even stream video on my phone most times. I just want to be able to use Facebook, Goodreads, and Email. Pretty basic for a smartphone.

My 2014 AWP Schedule

Here’s my 2014 AWP schedule:

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Remember? I can’t go this year.)

Yeah…I Looked Like This In Fall Of 1993

Yeah…I looked like this in fall of 1993:

Shut up.

Big Surprise In Hot Pockets Meat Recall

I was surprised to hear than Hot Pockets are being recalled because they may include meat that is itself subject to a massive recall. Mind you, I was not surprised to hear that Hot Pockets were involved in a recall. Every product, no matter how good the product is or how carefully the product is manufactured, can be included in a recall. Things happen. However, I was surprised to hear that Hot Pockets actually included meat.

Seriously, have you had a Hot Pocket? I lean more towards Lean Pockets myself, but that’s just less fat as opposed to higher quality. It’s tasty, but it’s junk. Whole Foods this is not.

But, my assumptions were apparently not correct. Hot Pockets apparently contain enough actual meat to be subject to a meat recall. Who would have imagined?

I wonder what Jim Gaffigan thinks of this.

Kate Upton Shoot Isn’t So Great Because “Barbarella” Already Did That

Kate Upton apparently was considered news when she did a zero gravity photo shoot for the 2014 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue wearing a bikini.However, not all of us consider this news.

After all, just check out the opening sequence from the 1968 science fiction “classic” Barbarella:

Sorry, Kate. We’ve seen this before. You’ll have to do better than this if you expect to impress us.