David S. Atkinson's Blog, page 199

Let’s Just Look At This Mountain Meadow And Breathe

There’s a ton of high emotion things going on right now. It’s really hard to figure out what to think of it all. There’s so many things I want to say, but I get all mixed up in all of it because very little of it seems clear cut.

As such, instead of getting into all that, let’s just take a look at this mountain meadow and breathe:

The world will be waiting for us in all its craziness when we get done, and maybe we’ll be a little better prepared to do something useful about it.

Please Feel Sorry For Me

Please feel sorry for me.

I suppose I should elaborate. My wife is on the beach in Cabo this week. I am at home working. I still have never gotten to visit any part of Mexico, much less the beach in Cabo. Thus, I would like people to feel sorry for me. Or make fun of me (keep it clean, folks). Whichever.

I realize many of you may never have been to Mexico either and thus might not be particularly disposed to giving me sympathy. However, it seems that would make you particularly able to empathize with me, unless you never wanted to go to begin with. There probably wouldn’t be many people who wouldn’t want a beach vacation, but there must be some. Regardless, we’ll just ignore them. I doubt they’ll care.

Anyway, just wanted to whine a little.

Does No One See The Danger Of The Taco Cannon?

I recently heard that Voodoo Taco will be introducing a new spin on the t-shirt cannon at next seasons��University of Nebraska-Omaha’s Maverick hockey games. Yup, they will be manning a taco cannon. Am I the only one who sees the danger here?

I mean, have we already forgotten?

Never forget Maude Flanders. Clearly, this may not end well.

Misleading Mortgage Company Communications

I’m getting a bit sick of misleading communications from mortgage companies. Companies who try to pretend they have some kind of relationship with you already, companies who pretend you requested something from them, companies who pretend to be issuing government statements, all that. All that falsely.

I got a call recently. It was a 1-800 number I didn’t know, so I let it go to voice mail. Suprisingly, a voice mail was actually left. Supposedly, a person named Rick Reed called from Freedom Mortgage (not identified in the call, possibly to obscure what was actually going on, I figured that part out when I called back) claiming to be working on my OCWEN rate reduction. He asked me to give him a call back.

The problem? I’m not getting an OCWEN rate reduction. I don’t even have an OCWEN loan any more. That was gone when I sold a previous house.

I called him back to pry out of him whether or not he’d been intentionally misleading, as well as to consider whether or not I should report his company (this is where I learned it was Freedom Mortgage) for possible misleading practices. However, the extension he gave went to someone else’s voice mail. He hadn’t even managed to leave correct information.

Whether or not Rick and/or this company is doing something misleading, it sure seems so and I’m pretty sick of the whole practice. I know these people want money for refinancing loans, but do they have to mislead people that they have existing relationships or are giving official communications in order to do their business? I’m sure they get more responses that way, but it sure seems unethical…if not possibly illegal (I don’t know whether it is or not for sure, but it should be).

Either way, Rick and his company can do me the great honor of never calling me again.

Posting Memes I’ve Already Posted on Facebook Again

Okay, I liked another meme I made for Facebook so much that I’m sharing it here again despite the fact that everyone has already seen it. I just liked the idea of a The Walking Dead/Newhart cross.

It’s really a problem when I’m laughing this much at my own jokes. Please help.

Have You Ever Kept Going With Something Because Of The Work You Put In?

Have you ever kept going with something because of the work you put in? Sometimes something seems like a good idea and you put a lot of time and effort into it. However, sometimes after all that what you end up with no longer seems like a good idea. Yesterday’s blog post is a perfect example.

I came up with this great idea that I was going to take a description of��The Truman Show��and modify it to be about��Harry S. Truman. I thought it would be really funny and clever, so I got descriptions of Wikipedia and set to work on my parody.

However, when I looked at what I came up with, it didn’t seem as funny any more. The idea still seemed funny, but my parody result didn’t. Still, looking at it, all I could think of was the effort I’d gone through. It wasn’t a huge amount, but I’d still already spent it. On that consideration alone, I ran the post anyway.

What the heck, right?

My Version of “The Truman Show”

My version of��The Truman Show:

Harry S. Truman (33rd President of the United States) is the unsuspecting star of The Truman Show, a reality political television program in which his entire life, since before birth, is filmed by thousands of hidden cameras, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and is broadcast live around the world. The show’s creator and executive producer Christof is able to capture Truman’s real emotion and human behavior when put in certain situations. Truman’s presidential town of Washington D.C. is a complete set built under a giant arcological dome in the Los Angeles area. Truman’s family and friends are all played by actors, allowing Christof to control every aspect of Truman’s presidency.

To prevent Truman from discovering his false reality, Christof has invented means of dissuading his sense of exploration, including “killing” his father (John Anderson Truman) in a storm initiated by Christof while on a fishing trip to instill in him a fear of the water, and making many news reports and commercials about the dangers of traveling, and featuring television shows about how good it is to stay at home. Despite Christof’s control, Truman has managed to behave in unexpected ways, in particular by falling in love with an extra, Sylvia, known to Truman as Lauren, instead of Bess Wallace, the character intended to be his wife. Though Sylvia is quickly removed from the set and Truman marries Bess Wallace, he continues to secretly pine for her. Sylvia becomes part of a “Free Truman” campaign that fights to free him from the show and to reveal his identity.

During the 30th year of the show, Truman notices certain aspects of his near-perfect world that seem out of place. A theatrical light falls from the artificial morning sky, nearly hitting him (quickly passed off by local radio as an aircraft in trouble that began “shedding parts”) and Truman’s car radio picks up a conversation between the show’s crew tracking his movements. Truman also becomes aware of more subtle abnormalities within his regular day-to-day presidency, such as the way in which the same people appear in the same places at certain times each day and Bess Wallace’s tendency to blatantly advertise the various products she buys. The actor that played Truman’s deceased father sneaks back onto the set as Joseph Stalin, but is whisked away as soon as Truman notices him.

Despite the best efforts of his family and his best friend Alben W. Barkley to reassure him, all these events cause Truman to start wondering about his presidency, realizing how the world seems to revolve and shape around him, with complete strangers to him knowing his name. Truman attempts to leave Washington D.C. but is blocked by emergency situations created by Christof to prevent Truman from leaving, but he notices more inconsistencies because of the situations. Bess Wallace grows increasingly stressed by the pressure of perpetuating the deception, and their marriage unravels in the face of Truman’s increasing skepticism and attendant hostility towards her, causing her to snap and partially reveal Truman’s identity and presidency in front of Alben W. Barkley as well, making Truman confused.

As a result, Bess Wallace is pulled off the show, and Christof officially brings back Truman’s father, hoping his presence will keep Truman from trying to leave. However, he only provides a temporary respite: Truman soon becomes isolated and begins staying alone in his basement. One night, Truman fools the cameras and escapes the basement undetected via a secret tunnel, forcing Christof to temporarily suspend broadcasting of the show for the first time in its history. This causes a surge in viewership, with many viewers, including Sylvia, cheering on Truman’s escape attempt.

Christof orders every actor and crew member to search the town, even breaking the town’s daylight cycle to help in the search. They find that Truman has overcome his fear of the water and has sailed away from the town in a small boat named the Meuse-Argonne Offensive. After restoring the broadcast, Christof orders the show’s crew to create a large storm to try to capsize the boat, prompting a heated debate with his superiors over the morality and legality of murdering a human being in front of a live audience. Truman almost drowns, but his determination eventually leads Christof to terminate the storm.

As Truman recovers, the boat reaches the edge of the dome, its bow piercing through the dome’s painted sky. An awe-struck Truman then discovers a flight of stairs nearby, leading to a door marked “EXIT”. As he contemplates leaving his world, Christof finally turns to his last resort by speaking directly to Truman via a powerful sound system, trying to persuade him to stay and arguing that there is no more truth in the real world than there is in his own, artificial world. Truman, after a moment’s thought, delivers his catchphrase (“Boys, if you ever pray, pray for me now. I don’t know if you fellas ever had a load of hay fall on you, but when they told me what happened yesterday, I felt like the moon, the stars, and all the planets had fallen on me.”), bows to his audience and steps through the door and into the real world.

The assembled television viewers excitedly celebrate Truman’s escape, and Sylvia quickly leaves her L.A. apartment and departs to the edges of Washington D.C. so she can meet up with him. A network executive orders the crew to cease transmission of the show, which Christof watches happen, realizing to his dismay that his show is truly over.

(Thanks to the Wikipedia page for The Truman Show and the Wikipedia page for Harry Truman.)

Other Ideas For Movie People Based On Batman V Superman

I’ve already done a post about����Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, but I thought maybe we could suggest some ideas for the movie people instead of just suggesting that��they’ve run out of ideas. After all, if their big thing is to pit Batman against Superman (which was done already), why don’t they consider some other matchups?

For example:

– Batman v Adam Sandler

– Batman v Archie

– Batman v 100 people armed with a grapefruit

– Superman v the 100 people armed with a grapefruit after Batman is done v’ing��them

– Josie v the Pussycats (Just in case people think Batman and Superman are the only comic stars that DC can make a movie about, though they would need to get the rights.)

There you go, movie people. Have at it.

Hidden Cost Of Marijuana

It is only at this late hour that the hidden cost of marijuana has become clear to me. If only I’d known beforehand.

You see, the 420 (April 20th) celebration recently happened in Denver. I wasn’t involved in any way, going to work as normal. However, then I found that I couldn’t take my train home. I’m not sure why, but apparently service for the train I take was suspended somewhere along my route due to the 420 festival. Something must have been going on somewhere along that route that necessitated shutting down the street. I would have to take the shuttle that was being provided instead.

I never knew the true hidden cost of marijuana until now. Marijuanas: not even once.

We Already Know How “Batman v Superman” Will Come Out

People are also talking a lot��Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. I don’t know why, we already know how this will play out.

What will happen? Well, Batman will have on his exoframe. Superman will try to reason with him, but Batman won’t be able to hear him. Batman will have someone shoot Superman with a kyrptonite arrow. They’ll fight. Eventually, Batman will fake a heart attack. Superman will know Batman staged his death, but will go along with it.

We’ve already seen it. It was called��The Dark Knight Returns.

Hollywood is out of ideas.