Alan Fadling's Blog, page 37

Reach Out, Not Up

Blog by Gem Fadling

What if it's okay to be small? “A bear of very little brain,” as Pooh says.

 

This is a question I ask myself when the volume of my ambition gets turned up too loud. There is nothing necessarily wrong with ambition. It's good to have dreams and to work hard.

 

The problem emerges when the ego bursts forth, my true self gets buried, and I reach for the unattainable in ways that stress my heart, mind, and body.

 

Do you experience this too--the siren call of your own version of fifteen minutes of fame? Social media can easily amplify this unhealthy desire as we strain for an uncontrollable and unmanageable goal of being seen and followed by the masses.

 

Maybe it’s okay to be small. To simply love and serve the people in our actual life. There’s no need for tackling things too big for us. Yes, we are called to work with excellence, but not at the whip-cracking mercy of efficiency and productivity. What does true fruitfulness look like for each of us?

 

Now, don't mistake this as an invitation to get small for the sake of smallness. If God has given you a vision and a dream and you are on the journey of fulfilling it, remain there. I have my own vision and calling as well.

 

What I'm talking about is the internal dynamic of revving, straining, and striving that I might attach to this God-given vision. This is what becomes unhealthy for me.

 

How do we remain committed to good and fruitful work without the added weight of unhealthy ambition?

 

Here’s one way I like to think of it: “Reach out, not up.”

 

This was God’s invitation to me a few years ago when I caught myself in a reach up mentality. I kept thinking, “If only they would see me or promote me or notice me, then I would be set.” This mode is unsustainable and unachievable because I cannot control them and what they will or won’t do.

 

A reach out mentality is one that acknowledges the people in my actual life and how I might be of service to them. This is based in reality. Rather than trying to manage a nameless they, I can love and help the people who are actually leaning in.

 

As soon as I made this shift, I felt a sense of relief. A weight dropped off my shoulders and my stomach relaxed. I know it’s a simple concept, but until I made my own inner pivot, unchecked ambition kept me on a stress treadmill.

 

I now enjoy a full and fruitful ministry life as I reach out to those in my sphere. I no longer try to reach up in ways that come from ego. This is a much more relaxing way to live and work.

 

Remain attached to the vine like a faithful branch (John 15), and like that branch, reach out and allow Jesus to produce the fruit.

 

Reflection 

What does your unchecked ambition feel like?
How do you resonate with the idea of reaching out rather than up?
Who are the people in your sphere and how can you serve them from a stress-free heart?

 

Photo by Erik Odiin on Unsplash

UL Podcast #222: Spiritual Practices for Families (Justin W. Earley)

 

Alan shares his conversation with Justin Whitmel Earley about his latest book Habits of the Household. A few years ago, we shared a conversation about his first book, the award-winning Common Rule (you can go back to episode 72 to listen to that conversation).

 

Justin's book extends his insights into a personal rule of life into how to cultivate a rule of life for a family. At the time he wrote the book, he and his wife, Lauren, had three young boys and another on the way. What he writes has plenty of insight for households of many kinds as Holy habits extend from personal practice to community practice. 

 

Justin Whitmel Earley is a writer, speaker, and lawyer from Richmond, Virginia, and the author of the award-winning book on habits and spiritual formation, The Common Rule. But most of all, Justin is a dad who is married to Lauren and spends a lot of time wrestling his four young boys. 

 

Connect with Justin on IG @justinwhitmelearley

ICDT #42: The Blessing of My Name

 

We are living at a time when rampant contempt and disregard for humanity fill our daily newsfeeds. This is not limited to North America or Western culture; it’s occurring worldwide. We don’t even hear all of the terrible things that are happening, but what we do hear is now beyond unbearable.

 

Like so many others who are speaking out about this problem, I don’t have easy answers. So, from my heart, I am asking that we continue to be people of blessing.

 

We can be present in our own very real lives. Day by day. Moment by moment. We can bridle our own tongue, monitor our own anger, and guard our own heart. And we can will the good of another—one person at a time.

 

Dallas Willard has said that a “blessing is the projection of good into the life of another. It isn’t merely words. It is the actual putting forth of your will for the good of another person. It always involves God. Only God is capable of bringing good to another. We naturally say, ‘God bless you,’ and that’s right. You bless someone when you will their good by invoking God on their behalf. This is the nature of blessing. God wants us to receive blessing from Him and extend it to others.”

 

Right now, recall and savor one way God has blessed you.
Out of gratitude for that blessing, what might it look like for you to put forth your will for the good of another person today?

 

God is present. He loves you. Let that overflow, and be a blessing.

Praying Scripture: Thirsty for God

Blog by Alan Fadling

One of the spiritual disciplines in which I find a lot of grace is praying my way through a passage of Scripture. Specifically, I journal on my computer. (I sometimes still journal by hand, but I always then incorporate this into my digital journal.) I copy and paste a passage from an online Bible site into my journal and then pray my way through it verse by verse or phrase by phrase.

 

Let me demonstrate what this looks like using a journal entry in which I prayed my way through Psalm 63. I hope you’ll find it helpful.

 

O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you in a dry and weary land where there is no water. 

 

Lord, you really are my God. I am coming to seek you as earnestly as I know how. My soul is thirsty for you alone. Even my body aches to know you more deeply. This parched place through which I journey only intensifies my longings. I am not finding refreshment or satisfaction anywhere else. You are my only hope right now. Has this been your plan? Is this desert the place where you bring focus and clarity to my desire and the realization that it is you alone I want?

 

I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. 

 

In this wilderness place, I can recall seasons when I’ve sensed your presence, felt your power, and was humbled by your overwhelming glory. I remember the intimacy of your presence in those holy times and spaces. I have known moments when I felt there was no one and nothing in the world but you and me. This increases my longing for you now.

 

Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. 

 

Can I say this with the same conviction as David? Do I really believe that your love is better than life itself? Or do I love my life more than I want your love? What might I be devoting myself to instead of you? When I realize that nothing in my life, not even my life itself, is better than your unfailing love, I see you filling the whole horizon of my vision. I am enabled to glorify you, acknowledging that you are worthy of praise.

 

I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. 

 

I am learning that you are always and will always be more than worthy of my tiny praise, no matter what may come. Thank you for the challenges I face that deepen this conviction. May these hands rise in praise when you come to mind.

 

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you. 

 

In this dry and weary land, I have hope that you will, in good time, fully satisfy my deepest, truest longings. I think of excellent meals that I have enjoyed at fine restaurants. Those were fast food next to the richness of your life in me. Satisfy my soul with yourself, Father.

 

On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. 

 

What captures my attention through the long, dark nights of my life? How do I keep the darkness from invading my heart and mind? I remember you. I think of you. I look to you. “Be thou my vision” through the watches of the night.

 

Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings.

 

I realize more and more how much help I really need. You have been showing me the foolishness of presumptuous self-sufficiency. I need you. I need others alongside me. Be my help, Father, so that I might find myself singing praise in the safe place of hiding under your wings.

 

My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me. 

 

As this desert place exposes the emptiness of everything I cling to in creation, I realize more fully that my soul should cling to you alone. I am like a little child who clings to you as you uphold me. Thank you.

 

Lord, grant that this psalm prayer might soak more deeply into my assumptions, my expectations, and my hopes. May I come to more fully embody the reality of this psalm. Continue teaching me to find satisfaction in you alone.

 

For Reflection:

How might you experiment with this practice, even with a single verse?
When and where might you try it on?

 

Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash

UL Podcast #221: Leading Through Fear

Today Alan is sharing some personal thoughts on the chapter in his book What Does Your Soul Love? on “Fear.” The core question around which this chapter revolves, no surprise, is “What Are You Afraid Of?” It’s a challenge that we all face. It’s been said that the most common word of command God gives in the Scriptures is “Do not fear.”  Alan hopes that what he has to share in today’s episode will help you enter into the encouraging gift of this command. 

 

ICDT #41: Under Construction: Every Stage Matters

 

If you are in the middle of a season of change, you likely feel out of place, neither here nor there. You feel the need for some fresh air, some energy to keep going.

 

If you are at the end of a season of change, you may be tired. You desire to celebrate, but you can’t keep your eyes open. Plus, the next project is looming before you and you don’t know if you have time to celebrate.

 

Here is a passage on which you can hang your hat no matter what stage of your process you are in. It’s from Isaiah 26:7-9, The Message…

 

The path of right-living people is level.
    The Leveler evens the road for the right-living.
We’re in no hurry, God. We’re content to linger
    in the path sign-posted with your decisions.
Who you are and what you’ve done
    are all we’ll ever want.
Through the night my soul longs for you.
    Deep from within me my spirit reaches out to you.
When your decisions are on public display,
    everyone learns how to live right.

Sacred Rhythms

Blog by Gem Fadling

Alan and I (Gem) are a few days into our second annual July sabbatical. We’ve borrowed this idea from a few other friends in spiritual formation, and it’s proving to be a wonderful new pattern for us.

 

Some people hear about our sabbatical and wish us well. They see the importance of it. Others question how it’s even possible and whether it’s wise.

 

And I’ll be honest—I got a little nervous as we approached this time. I am in the middle of some big projects: a book launch, the re-launch of Replenish, and the reworking of our website, to name a few.

 

How can I engage rest in the middle of so many important tasks?

 

A sabbatical in the midst of good and fruitful work tests my belief in what Unhurried Living teaches all the way down to my core.

 

The following questions come from Ruth Haley Barton’s book Sacred Rhythms, and I think they are genius:

 

How do I want to live so I can be who I want to be?
How has God uniquely designed me?
What do I really want?
How badly do I want it?
Am I willing to rearrange my life for what my heart most wants?

 

I’m going to engage two of those questions here.

 

How do I want to live so I can be who I want to be?

 

I desire to be the best version of myself—as close to my true self as possible. Do I do this perfectly? Absolutely not. However, engaging this question requires effort. If I want my true self to be expressed…what will that take?

 

Certainly, I cannot lead an organization called Unhurried Living while at the same time running myself ragged, succumbing to the siren call of ambition, and ignoring my emotional, psychological, and spiritual health.

 

Well, when you say it like that, it sounds obvious. And it is. But believing this to be true and doing something about it are two different things.

 

Am I willing to rearrange my life for what my heart most wants?

 

Alan and I have decided to make essential changes to our weeks, months, and years so that we can be the healthiest and most sustainable versions of ourselves. This is one of the first acts of a spiritual leader—to lead their own soul.

 

This means we make time for important spiritual practices as well as good and fruitful work. And we sometimes say no to amazing opportunities rather than force something from an empty cup.

 

Some of you might wonder what are we doing on our sabbatical? Here are the categories of our engagement:

 

Rest. Play. Relationships. Reading. Prayer. Unplugging. Beauty. Refilling.

 

To do this we had to work ahead on emails, blog posts, podcasts, and social media posts. And we had to ensure that our large projects were at an appropriate pausing point at just the right time.

 

To wrap up, let me say this: One huge reason we take care of ourselves this way is because of you. You are our beloved extended community. True, we don’t know most of you personally, but we are connected in a real way by the Holy Spirit.

 

We want to model what we teach. We desire to give you the best of what we learn and receive from God. We want to remain creative and energetic as we create content and events that will serve you as you serve others.

 

I say this often to my clients: You are not a machine. You are more like a flower or a tree. You are organic and require nurturing. This is true for us as well.

 

Reflection 

Try engaging Barton’s questions for yourself: 

How do I want to live so I can be who I want to be?
How has God uniquely designed me?
What do I really want?
How badly do I want it?
Am I willing to rearrange my life for what my heart most wants?

 

Blessings to you as you continue to discern how you want to live so that you can be who you want to be. And we would love it if you would pray for us while we refill.

 

 

 

Photo by Azzedine Rouichi on Unsplash

UL Podcast #220: Deep Peace (Todd Hunter)

 

In today’s episode, Alan speaks with his friend and bishop, Todd Hunter. His most recent book is titled Deep Peace: Finding Calm in a World of Conflict and Anxiety. It’s a pretty timely topic, wouldn’t you say? Statistics over these last couple of years tell us that anxiety is at perhaps an all-time high. And you don’t have to go much further than your social media or news feed to see the levels of conflict in our time. 

 

One of the simple statements Todd has shared more than once goes, in part, like this: “If it can be done in anxiety, it can be done better in peace.” Alan shares that this has been a bit of ongoing spiritual direction that he’s returned to countless times. He’s come to find that peace is a far better foundation for good living, good relationships and good work that anxiety or anger have ever been. 

 

IG @bishoptoddhunter

 

Connect with Alan at www.unhurriedliving.com

ICDT #40: Soul Fitness

 

Over the years, as I engaged in various forms of group exercise, I’ve collected some helpful tips from many fitness instructors. I’ve been able to narrow some of these ideas into an acronym that may help you formationally.

 

Many of the same principles that grow us physically can also be translated into our formational inner work.

 

So let’s take a look at ARC: Ability, Rhythm and Core.

 

ABILITY - Start where you are.
RHYTHM - Engage healthy rhythms.
CORE - Let your believing become knowing through practice.

How True Abundance Happens

For you, God, tested us; 


      you refined us like silver.

You brought us into prison 


      and laid burdens on our backs.

You let people ride over our heads; 


      we went through fire and water, 


      but you brought us to a place of abundance. (Psalm 66:10-12 NIV) 


 

If it weren’t for that last line, this would be a pretty dismal passage. Being tested and put through the flames like silver being refined. Being imprisoned and burdened. Feeling as threatened as Israel did when the Egyptian army chased them down at the Red Sea. How could such situations ever lead to a place of abundance? The answer is more than just Israel’s final destination in the promised land. Their wilderness journey was a place of preparation for abundance.

 

This sounds much like the spiritual counsel James offers in his New Testament letter, which begins with the words “consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters” (James 1:2). If I’m reading this letter for the first time, I can’t wait for the pure joy James has to offer me. Will it be spiritual blessings? Great comfort? Encouragement of heart? A new opportunity? What is this pure joy James is going to tell me about?

 

James encourages us to consider it pure joy when we face trials of many kinds. He says we should consider it a privilege when we’re profoundly tested. Maybe your first response, like mine, is one of suspicion. When going through a challenging round of testing in life, our first response usually isn’t “pure joy.” But James is inviting us to a different perspective. “Consider it,” he says.

 

I’ve lived long enough to look back on past situations where it felt like I was being stretched to a breaking point and recognize the ways in which those moments tested and rooted my trust deeper in God. That’s the sort of joy James is talking about when he says “because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” And when perseverance has completed its work in us, we’ll discover that we’ve become mature, complete, and without lack.

 

That’s how true abundance works. God tests and refines our lives. The usual refinery God uses is hardship–the stuck places and heavy places we journey through. For a time he may allow something or someone to seemingly overcome us, but he will never allow it to destroy us. His heart is for us to enter into places of abundance.

 

Our problem is that we aren’t exactly clear on the true meaning of abundance. We keep thinking it’s about cash or possessions or achievements or pleasure or fame or any of the other currencies of our culture. We rush around trying to get more, more, and still more. But if we keep on needing more and more, maybe what we’re chasing isn’t actually what we need most.

 

Having lots of nice things isn’t abundance, and we can see that by how quickly we grow dissatisfied with what we possess at any given moment. Abundance is relationship. Abundance is personal. Abundance is a quality of soul. Abundance is a life lived deeply at home in God.

 

For Reflection:

In what ways have you experienced abundance lately?
In what ways have you felt tested?
How might God be leading you along a path of true abundance in the midst of your current life experiences?
How would you like to talk with God about this?