Alan Fadling's Blog, page 40

The Struggle to Focus

Blog by Gem Fadling

Over the course of the last few years, Alan and I have set aside times to get away and focus on our writing. Thanks to generous friends with homes near Duck Creek, Utah, and Avila Beach, California, these getaways have been fruitful times of thinking and composing. We were able to sink down into the work and focus.

 

After our second writing getaway, I began to ask myself, Why can’t I focus like this in my home office? Why is it so hard to slip into these spaces in my own home? Do I really have to go away to feel away? That doesn’t seem realistic, and I can’t easily get away that often. Am I really destined to have that kind of focus only when I’m hundreds of miles away from my everyday life?

 

It’s easy to have boundaries and let go of things when you are literally not at home. The boundaries are obvious. I only have the clothing, books, and technology that I brought in my suitcase.

 

It is difficult to feel the boundaries at home because everything happens there. Relationships, jobs, rest, and housework. And, whether I want to or not, I carry all of it with me all the time. Not everything is at the same volume, but I still carry it.

 

So, is it possible to set the boundaries and live within them (like I do in Duck Creek and Avila) even when I am at home? I can feel both a yes and a no rising within me. Well, it’s not really a no—it’s more a feeling of, “Man, that would take a lot of effort and would be very difficult.” I’d have to learn to put everything aside as though it weren’t there, even though it is there. I would still have physical proximity to it.

 

When I’m away I feel lighter because I am not in proximity to the other people, work, and responsibilities I carry. When I’m away, there are no dishes or laundry to do. Depending on the location, there may be no internet on my computer, so no temptation to watch videos or browse the web. I also understand that I’ve set this time aside to focus on God, on my own soul, or on the work at hand. So lots of other things simply take a back seat. To do this at home I would have to choose to mentally cut off everything that is a natural distraction.

 

The work we do at Unhurried Living takes a distinct kind of focus. Preparing content that is meant for transformation and not merely passing on information means I must pull from somewhere deep inside of me. That takes presence and focus.

 

I’ve been practicing this for quite a while. Actually, right now, as I compose this, I’m acting as if there is nothing else to do but write these words—and it’s working. I know that some people can compartmentalize more easily than others. For some of us it takes real effort to hunker down into this space. For me, it takes becoming aware, being mindful, and making decisions about where I direct my focus. I don’t do it perfectly, but I am definitely getting better at this.

 

Whether you find it easy to compartmentalize your life or you carry everything in your life around with you everywhere, you know from experience that “being all there” is the most effective way to get things done. What might that practice look like for you?

 

Reflection 

How difficult is it for you to focus these days?
What influence do your location and proximity to day-to-day cares have on your ability to focus?
How might you practice focusing in new ways?

 

 

Photo by Elena Taranenko on Unsplash

UL Podcast #217: Truth as Lived Reality

 

“Where are you hiding?”

There are a lot of ways that the idea of “truth” is talked about these days. There are those who view truth primarily as a philosophical or doctrinal category to be understood and perhaps defended. There are those who talk about “my truth” as a way of describing their personal perspectives or views.

This week on Unhurried Living Podcast, Alan talks with friends and pastors on this topic of truth as a kind of lived honesty.

This conversation stems from a chapter in Alan and Gem's book "What Does Your Soul Love?" We invite you to listen to the discussion, buy the book and experience what your soul is longing for and what your lived truth truly is.

ICDT #30: The Way of Love

 

Over the years I have grown tired of my own inner dialogue—whether I am doing the right things, being the right things, saying the right things, accomplishing the right things. And not simply in regard to my outer work life but also my inner spiritual life. I have worn myself out with shoulds and ought-tos.

What my heart truly seeks is peace. What it truly seeks is love. My simple, sighing prayer is, “I just want to be in Your love.”

Might that be your prayer too?

How does your heart long for God’s love?

 

Connect with Gem on Instagram and learn more about her on Unhurried Living Website.

The God Who Wants to Help Us

When you feel troubled, how do you envision God’s countenance toward you? Do you imagine God as compassionate or distant, caring or uninterested, available or absent? I’ve found these lines from a David psalm speaking to these places in my own soul lately:

 

He rescued me from my powerful enemy, 

      from my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster, 

      but the Lord was my support.
He brought me out into a spacious place; 

      he rescued me because he delighted in me.

Psalm 18:17-19 NIV

Here David shares his testimony of what God has done for him, and it brings to mind times when I have been rescued, supported, and released into a spacious place. I may not feel much like that today, but I have known that inward sense of support, release, and protection.

 

So, Jesus, I come to You this morning feeling constricted, oppressed, even abandoned. These are my feelings, which I recognize aren’t a strong indicator of reality. I need Your help to find my way to a spacious and supported place this morning. You are a God who wants, even longs, to help us. I need Your guidance to the life-giving, creative, fruitful place where I can faithfully do the work You have entrusted to me. This week, I have mostly felt paralyzed and distracted.

 

Like David, I’m up against a powerful enemy. Not an enemy brandishing physical weapons to do me bodily harm. No, these are weapons that wound my soul and heart. They are weapons of discouragement, fear, doubt, low confidence, anxiety, and deception. Rescue me from these attacks. Enable me to walk in a spacious, supported, free place like David describes in this psalm. Help me see You as the way. Help me find my way to You as the door into such a place. I can’t make this happen on my own. Amen.

 

Sometimes I feel like Thomas who, speaking on behalf of the Twelve, asks, “We don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?” (John 14:5). The “where” Jesus had been talking about was His Father’s house. That was where He was preparing to go. Jesus responds not by showing them a path to take. He does not give them something to do or somewhere to go. Jesus simply reminds them of His original invitation: “Come to Me.” He says, “I am the way. Don’t look for a place to go. Come to Me. Walk with Me. In this way you’ll find truth and life.”

 

For Reflection:

When have you most recently felt troubled? How did you sense God’s presence with you in those moments? How might you imagine God as attentive, present, and caring for you in this moment?

Photo by Aamir Suhail on Unsplash

 

UL Podcast #216: Becoming a Face of Grace (Ed Khouri)

 

The pace of grace, that’s the key theme in today’s episode of Unhurried Living Podcast. One of my mentors was fond of saying that just as truly as we are saved by grace, so we live by grace, serve by grace and lead by grace. Grace is not merely a doorway through which I enter into the life of the kingdom. Grace is the pathway on which I walk every step of my life.  

 

Grace is not some kingdom commodity that God guarantees me. It is his very way of interacting with us with generous, joyful love. God invites us to make ourselves as home in his gracious presence. It’s is in God’s nature to long to be gracious to us.

 

Today I'm talking with Ed Khouri, author of Becoming a Face of Grace. We’re talking about how it works to experience the grace of God and then to live graciously and interact with others graciously. 

 

For more than 40 years, Ed has worked with substance abusers and their families in diverse settings. Serving as a pastoral counselor, trainer, and writer, Ed’s work has encompassed outpatient counseling, jails, transitional housing for homeless addicts in all phases of residential treatment. He even provided daily supervision for all therapeutic services and staff in a 96-bed state-licensed substance abuse treatment program. Ed is an ordained minister and president of Equipping Hearts. 

ICDT #29: You Are Not Forgotten

 

God is saying that even if a mother were to forget her children (which she won’t), God will never forget us. God is doubling down on how much he wants us to know that he will never withhold his love for us. God’s compassion is sure and you will not be forgotten.

 

This is important for us to hold onto as we continue to make our way through our lives. Life is difficult enough, let alone the last couple of years with the added strain of the pandemic. The weight has been, at time, unbearable for many.

 

In the midst of this is this vital message: You are not forgotten. 

 

Which means that you are remembered with compassion. Let’s hold onto this truth and let it change us from the inside out. 

 

Connect with Gem on Instagram  or learn more about her at the Unhurried Living website.

An Easter Week Reflection

Blog by Gem Fadling

Here’s a little known and rather obscure fact: I have a one-inch scar on my left wrist. One day, as a youngster enjoying a warm summer day, I followed my friend out the front door and into our next adventure. I tried catching the glass upper half of the screen door with my hands before it could hit me in the face.

 

Unfortunately, my hand broke the glass and went straight through that portion of the door. It’s  a miracle that I only have one scar. And the cut was in just the right shape and size that it didn’t hit any major vessels.

 

I seldom think about or acknowledge that scar. It’s there and yet I pay absolutely no attention to it. It’s become a faded memory of a summer long ago.

 

Awhile back, when I happened to notice my scar, a thought came to mind: “By his stripes we are healed.” I paused for a moment and pictured Jesus and his scars. It is possible that the nails were driven into Jesus’s wrists to hold the weight of his body. If so, my scar is in approximately the same place as his.

 

But I am confident that, unlike me, Jesus has never forgotten his scars. His scars were chosen. His scars were willingly received. His scars were because of love.

 

Since this is Holy Week, I’d like to walk us briefly through the three movements of this weekend:

 

Dying. Waiting. Rising.

 

Jesus walked this journey from a place of deep and abiding love. We remember his dying on Good Friday, and of course we remember his rising on Easter Sunday. But not many people pause on Holy Saturday to remember the waiting.

 

This is a pattern we can all recognize from our own lives, though. Nature itself is in a continual state of dying, waiting, and rising. And so are we.

 

I’m going to share a short meditation on each of the three movements.

 

But before we begin with this liturgical trio, let’s stop off on Thursday. What was Jesus doing on what we now call Maundy Thursday? He was washing feet.

 

PREPARATION (Maundy Thursday)

 

Jesus said that he came to be the servant of all. He washed the disciples’ feet as one of his last acts before his crucifixion. He left no doubt in the minds of his followers: humble servanthood is his WAY.⁠

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It's the WAY of Jesus that so often gets forgotten. Foot washing was one of the most lowly tasks. Cleaning stinky, dirt-crusted feet…this is the Jesus WAY.⁠

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On Maundy Thursday we remember Jesus as the humble servant. This puts an exclamation point on the ways of Jesus shown throughout the Gospels: eating with the “wrong” people...healing on the “wrong” day…serving instead of being served.⁠

⁠

The ultimate in humility—this was Jesus's way. Not power, prestige, fame, or control.⁠

⁠

The Jesus Way.⁠

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Humility. Washing the feet of his disciples, whom he chose to call friends.⁠

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Humility. Around the table, one at a time…24 dirty, smelly feet.⁠

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What might each disciple have said…or not said? What was going through their minds?⁠

⁠

We know Peter protested. But what about Judas? Judas’s heart was already turned, and yet Jesus washed his feet.⁠

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What kind of man is this? What kind of God is this? Humble. Gentle. Caring. Strong. Capable. Unconditionally loving.⁠

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The Jesus Way.⁠

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DYING (Good Friday)

 

Good Friday is when we remember Jesus’s death on the cross.⁠

⁠

And while there is New Testament language that talks about "redemption," "wages," "price," "redeem," "propitiation," and "ransom," I'd like to think that these terms are not sterile, transactional ideas.⁠

⁠

There is a profound and relational aspect to all that Jesus did while on earth. Part of my journey has been to let go of the transactional nature of the gospel and take hold of the mind-boggling reality of what Jesus said and did.⁠

⁠

I find Jesus to be a most compelling person. And the fact that he went all the way to death shows his willingness to partake in the fullness of the human experience. But then, like he did with everything else, Jesus turns death on its head and rises from the grave (but we’ll save that for Sunday).⁠

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Good Friday is the day we remember Jesus showing his ultimate and non-negotiatiable love for us. And it is the day we remember that death is cruel and grievous. The disciples didn’t have our hindsight. They only knew that it...was...over.⁠

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Where in your life right now does it seem like “it’s over”? Let the crucified Christ be with you in that place. ⁠

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This is Good Friday, the death before the resurrection.⁠ Take time to soak in the reality of this deepest kind of love.

 

WAITING (Holy Saturday)

 

Richard Rohr describes Holy Saturday in three simple sentences: "Sitting in love. Waiting without answers. Hoping without evidence."

 

Holy Saturday is for all of us who are waiting for something. We have no answers. We have no evidence. We simply wait. And we hope.

 

Imagine you are one of Jesus’s disciples. Yesterday you saw him crucified and buried. This doesn't make any sense. Your teacher and friend is gone. This can't be right! The grief. The loss. You ask yourself, “What will I do?”

 

If you are in deep pain and are in a place of waiting through that process, Holy Saturday is the day on the church calendar when you are deeply, lovingly acknowledged. The loss is real. The waiting is real.

 

The disciples did not understand about the resurrection that would come the next day. They only knew their grief and loss.

 

We are in the here and now. We know how the story continues. Resurrection did happen. But for today we will sit in the unknowing, the loss, the confusion.

 

Let yourself be seen in this place. Give yourself permission to grieve. It's okay to await resurrection, but don't miss the beauty of the waiting.

 

RISING (Easter Sunday)

 

Here I’ll simply share some inspiring scripture. Truths that are now ours because of the resurrection.

 

“And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives.” (Romans 6:4)

 

“And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39)

 

“Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your life, is revealed to the whole world, you will share in all his glory.” (Colossians 3:1-4)

 

We look forward to hearing the words on Easter Sunday—He is risen! He is risen indeed and is alive forevermore!

 

Reflection

 

Notice which part of Holy Week you resonate with most:

 

Are you in a time of suffering? Is something within you or around you dying?
Are you in a season of waiting? In the in-between?
Is this a time of resurrection and coming alive?

 

Wherever you find yourself, remember this: Jesus knows firsthand what it feels like to be in your situation, whether dying, waiting, or rising. So let Jesus attend to you now.

 

P.S. This is actually the script for this week’s episode of the I Can Do That! Podcast. I wanted you to have it here so you can reflect on it this Easter week. Blessings!

ICDT #28: An Easter Week Reflection

 

If you are in deep pain and are waiting in the process, Holy Saturday is the day on the church calendar when you are deeply, lovingly acknowledged. Waiting is real. The loss is real.

The disciples did not know about the resurrection to come the next day. They only knew their grief and loss.

We are here and now. We know how the story continues. Resurrection did come. But today we will sit in the unknowing, the loss, the confusion.

Let yourself be seen in this place. Give yourself permission to grieve. It's ok to await resurrection, but don't miss the beauty of the waiting.

Since this is Holy Week, I’m walking us briefly through the three movements of this weekend.

Dying. Waiting. Rising.

 

You can read and download this episode on the Unhurried Living blog so you can follow along and reflect on each day Holy Week.  

UL Podcast #215: Living Life in God's Presence

 

“Where are you hiding?”

Our habit of hiding goes back to the beginning of creation. Eve eats forbidden fruit. Adam joins her. They become self-conscious, perhaps even self-focused. And so when they sense God drawing near, instead of drawing near like they’ve always done before, they hide.

We do the same thing. We imagine that it is better to hide our messes from God rather than to bring them into the presence of mercy and grace. But it’s no better than a branch thinking it good to detach from the vine.

This week on Unhurried Living Podcast, Alan talks with friends John Freeman and Jeb Shore, about vulnerability.

This topic stems from chapter 4 of What Does Your Soul Love?

Listen in wherever you enjoy podcasts. Then answer the question... what are you hiding?

Thoughts on Contemplation and Planning

Blog by Alan Fadling

I’m grateful for mentors in my life who have pressed me to think deeply about how our life of prayer intersects with our active life of work and ministry. It is too easy to emphasize one and neglect the other.

 

I’m grateful for an emphasis on spiritual formation that has grown over the last few decades in the church. I’ve noticed, though, that sometimes talk about spiritual formation changes our thinking without changing our modus operandi. Sometimes the boundary between our personal experience of spiritual formation and the way we lead, strategize, or plan seems rather non-porous.

 

A porous approach to spiritual formation in leadership planning meetings, for example, might include practices such as corporate listening prayer, biblical reflection, intercession, and thanksgiving. There would be more than just a brief devotional to start the gathering. Rather, a more significant and intentional space would be made to experience God in community before we engage the work of God together.

 

I’ve found that my own experience of spiritual transformation began at the personal level, but that the actual way I did ministry changed very little at first. I taught spiritual formation ideas but led in a fairly non-formational way. Soon, I experienced spiritual formation as part of a community—a shared experience of spiritual transformation that extended the process further but still wasn’t really impacting my actual methods of planning, leading events, and strategizing.

 

The dynamics of transformation took awhile to soak down into the ways and means of my planning and implementation of ministry. It is possible to affirm the idea and value of spiritual formation without it actually changing how we do things.

 

For Reflection:

In ministry or leadership teams you direct or participate in, how much time is spent together actually practicing things like prayer and scripture reflection in community? To what degree do these practices season your everyday work of planning, decision-making, and goal-setting?

 

Photo by Anthony Tori on Unsplash