Alan Fadling's Blog, page 42

Your Tears Will Teach You

Blog by Gem Fadling

For the last few years, I have been caught up in the TV show The Good Doctor. It’s the story of a young man with autism who is doing his residency at a hospital. Viewers get to see how he functions within his community, and in one episode he is asked to explain why he wants to be a doctor. Without spoiling it for any of you who plan to watch, let’s just say he gives a real tear-jerker of a speech. Short. To the point. Perfectly authentic.

 

My eyes welled up and tears spilled over onto my cheeks. I felt joy, connection, hope.

 

Maybe you’re thinking, But, Gem, this is just a TV show. Connection? Really? Yes. And you’ve likely felt it too while watching a movie or TV series. At some point I’m sure you have connected to a particular character or story arc and you felt moved. Maybe to tears, or maybe to laughter or anger or some other emotion. But you were moved.

 

Many years ago, I was prayed over by an experienced spiritual director who also happened to be a nun at the Pecos Benedictine Abbey in New Mexico. She will be forever in my heart because of her grace, care, and prayerful presence as we delved into the depths of my soul.

 

One of the things she told me as I cried during prayer is that tears are a gift. In fact, she called it “the gift of tears,” and I haven’t thought of my tears the same way since then. Tears are a gift. They point to something. Tears can show you what is important to you. Tears can teach you something about yourself that you haven’t yet discovered, or they can remind you of something significant that you forgot. Or tears may simply enable you to express some deep pain you carry.

 

One reason I was so moved by that episode of The Good Doctor is that a young man whom everyone thought of as “weird” or “unqualified” found the respect and admiration of a roomful of people. He spoke the simple truth about his desire to become a doctor, and his qualification was undeniable.

 

In that moment he became a projection for the part of me that feels like I don’t always fit in or that I’m not qualified. Sometimes my own limitations keep me from what I want, so my eyes filled with tears because I recognized that within myself. This fictional character gave voice to that part of me.

 

This is just a simple story of watching a TV show and being moved to tears by some great acting and dialogue. But I was also able to get a glimpse inside myself, where I recognized the desire for acceptance in spite of my limitations. And I know I’m not alone. Don’t we all want that? Don’t we all want to be accepted in spite of our own issues?

 

 Understanding this about myself enables me to offer acceptance to myself first and then to others. It equips me to extend grace as often as possible. To remember that people are not machines or bit players in a movie that centers around me. People are people, and we can all use an extended hand of grace now and again.

 

In this current climate of anger, contempt, depression, and division, lived grace is more important than ever. Let your tears guide you to that grace.

 

Reflection 

What brings a tear to your eye?
What might this be telling you about a place of desire or pain.
How can you extend grace to yourself within this space?
How might you extend that same grace to others?

Photo by tabitha turner on Unsplash

ICDT #24: The Gift of Listening Well

 

When was the last time you had a leisurely conversation? Do you find yourself talking fast, and cutting people short so that you can get on with whatever you were doing? It’s not your fault, it’s in the cultural air we breathe.

 

We may assume that others are busy and we are likely in their way. Or we think the same about ourselves: I don’t have time for this!

 

Most people these days don’t have someone who just simply listens to them. Many are over-connected on tech gadgets and yet are starving relationally. Listening is one very practical gift we can give to our fellow travelers that may soothe their soul. 

UL Podcast #211: Leadership & Holy Desire (What Does Your Soul Love?)

“What do you really want?” 

It’s a deceptively simple question, but the longer we live with it the more we realize we want so many different things at so many different levels to so many different degrees. It’s actually a genius question to surface that it is that our soul actually wants. 

This week Alan is sinking in deeper on a chapter of his and Gem's book, What Does Your Soul Love? Eight Questions That Reveal God’s Work in You.  The chapter is on Desire and the question that lies at the heart of that chapter is, “What do you really want?”

Donor Thank You Gathering

Thank you to everyone who was able to join us for the donor thank you gathering last weekend.  What a blessing of a time "together".  Click the image below to watch. 

 

Thirty Years Ago in Kiev

Blog by Alan Fadling

It has been difficult to watch the recent news of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. Perhaps you have been praying as I (Alan) have, that God’s kingdom might come and God’s will might be done as it is in heaven.

 

The last time I was in Kiev, Ukraine was over thirty years ago in September 1991. I went with my mentor, Chuck Miller, his son, Scott, and a friend, Bruce. We were there as a follow-up to an evangelistic campaign in which thousands of Ukrainians had responded enthusiastically to the good news of Jesus. The problem was that there weren’t many churches for them to attend.

 

You may remember the political realities at that time. The Soviet Union was falling apart. We had been watching images of tanks rolling in the streets of various Soviet republics. The instability was such a concern that we were fearful as to whether we should travel to Ukraine at all.

 

We decided to go anyway. I remember walking through the city square (that has been one of the key images shown in many recent news reports). There was a statue of Lenin, along with a crane in the process of removing it. Angry locals had painted swastikas, 666 and other political comments all over the monument.

 

We had the opportunity to meet with 35 men and women who were in training to be pastors of house churches. This was the solution they’d decided upon for meeting the needs of thousands of new converts.

 

We had one week of evenings with them. What would we talk about? In the end, we shared very simple things about the Christian life as a relationship of communion with Jesus, lived in community, expressing the love of God to the world around us.

 

At one point, one of the leaders among these Ukrainian friends told us that he believed what we were sharing wasn’t deep enough. He felt it was baby food. But there is a great difference between being simplistic and being profoundly simple. He wanted us to talk about how to recognize the cults that were proliferating at the time. Our feeling was that if we helped them recognize the genuine simplicity of the faith, they would have no trouble identifying counterfeits.

 

I could tell many other stories but let me bring this story to the present day. A few days ago, I got a call from Chuck Miller’s widow, Cathy. She had spoken with the American, Rich, who coordinated that house church pastor training in Kiev over thirty years ago. Rich shared with Cathy that those thirty-five pastors of house churches had become about two thousand house churches! They had planted churches like theirs in other parts of Europe and even in Asia.

 

The sense was that the simplicity of how they began had translated well and multiplied greatly.

 

So as you pray for Ukraine, keep in mind thousands of brothers and sisters meeting in house churches all over the country. I’m grateful they can look to our Father in heaven as their refuge and fortress.

ICDT #23: The Velvet Knife

 

Hebrews 11:1 says, “The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living.”

 

So, if you are in a place of ongoing inner healing:

How might you honor and respect where you are?
What does waiting look like for you in this season?
What are some ways your “faith roots” can sink even deeper into God in the midst?

 

And, if you are walking alongside someone else who is in a place of ongoing inner healing:

How might you honor and respect where they are?
How might Hebrews 11:1 inform how you pray for them?
How might you be a listening (with a non-fixing) ear as they process their not-yet state?

UL Podcast #210: Don’t Blow Up Your Ministry (Michael MacKenzie)

 

In this week’s episode of the Unhurried Living podcast, I’m talking with Mike MacKenzie from Marble Retreat in Colorado about the issues that lie under our issues. He’s written a book called Don’t Blow Up Your Ministry that highlights how we sometimes think that if only we could solve our tiredness or our struggles with temptation we’d be all set, when in fact there are often deeper issues that are draining us or making us more vulnerable. 

For example, Mike shares that a lot of us in Christian leadership have an immense amount of intellectual knowledge of spiritual disciplines, of spiritual formation, or of any number of good things for our souls. But, the challenge is that we know them but don’t act on them much. 

Jesus said something very interesting in the Upper Room after he’d washed his disciples’ feet. He said, “Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them (Jn 13:17).” 

Sustaining Your Life: Restored by Beauty

Many years ago I (Gem) found myself creatively exhausted. We had just come through an intense season of content creation and I was spent.

 

At first I described my tiredness as being soul tired. However, I realized my soul was actually energized and hopeful. But I could not escape the fact that something inside of me was quite empty. The place from which I draw words to write or insights to speak was running dry.

 

Not surprisingly, Alan found himself in a similar place. We had both been in output mode for quite a while. As we were talking one day, we realized we were sharing a similar tiredness. The first thing we did was to look at the spaces in our calendar for replenishing and refilling ourselves. They were sparse, and we had let the idea of true Sabbath fall by the wayside.

 

Yes, we had been traveling throughout the previous few months, but none of it had been a true vacation. The kind where you don’t check email and you get lost in timelessness. We had been in beautiful locations…working. Evidently, our monthly solitude days were not enough to keep us from the level of tiredness we had reached.

 

So, we asked ourselves the question we ask other leaders: “What will it take to sustain the life you currently live?” That’s not to be confused with the unhelpful question, “What are you doing to prove you are a good Christian?” Rather, it’s the realistic, “What will it take to truly keep you full as you continue to pour out for others?”

 

We made a very different plan for the following year. One that offered space for true soul-filling, including a revived Sabbath practice, monthly unhurried days, and bona fide vacations.

 

Soon after this wake-up call, we traveled to Germany. We had been invited there to facilitate some training and retreat time for U.S. Navy chaplains and their associates, but prior to that we took a few days to simply enjoy the area. And the timing could not have been more perfect.

 

Oh, those three days of being blissfully unplugged! We were surrounded by beauty and were able to experience quite a few firsts. A few of the highlights include the Zugspitze, the highest peak in Germany, with a view of four countries; the Partnach Gorge, the sights and sounds of which took my breath away; quaint Bavarian architecture and cobblestone streets; and a horse-drawn carriage ride up to Neuschwanstein Castle, which was built by King Ludwig II and has one of the most beautiful views I have ever seen in my life.

 

Beauty is a natural soul filler. I believe that now more than ever, as that creative place inside me began to fill. I was being revived in a most holy and majestic way. God speaks to us through his creation as a grace and a gift, and I received it willingly.

 

After our wonderful time with the chaplains, we returned home, and I began my mornings in a prayer book titled Celtic Treasure. The first seven days unpack the glory of the creation of the world. Here is an excerpt from day 2:

 

On the second day the storm kept stirring.

It was the wind of new beginnings.
God was saying, “Let there be a space for creation.”

And the wind carved out a hollow in the deep waters.

It was a cradle for life.

Above, beneath and on every side of it were the everlasting waters.

God saw that it was good.

It was a place for birth and abundance.

And there was evening and morning, creation’s second day. (From Genesis 1)

 

My jaw dropped as I witnessed my very life in this poetic take on Genesis 1. My creatively tired self was definitely in a place of “new beginnings” after encountering such beauty on our travels. Inside my own heart, God was indeed saying, “Let there be a space for creation.” He had carved out that creative space deep within me as we enjoyed the splendors of the earth—a gorge, mountains, fields, lakes, and rivers.

 

And God saw that it was good. I returned home in a state of rebirth and with a new sense of abundance, ready to engage the next season.

 

Reflection 

How’s your creativity these days? Are you energized or sluggish? Are you serving from a place of fullness or is your cup nearing its last drop?
If you are on the empty side, what will it take to sustain the life you live? What would be good to add? What would be good to lay down?
Give yourself permission to enjoy some beauty this week, even if it is just a few minutes. Notice what happens as you take it in. And meet God there.

 

Photo by Florian Klauer on Unsplash

UL Podcast 209: A Vision for Good Change

 

This week, the Unhurried Living Podcast begins an occasional series based on the book Gem and Alan wrote two years ago: What Does Your Soul Love? Eight Questions That Reveal God’s Work in You".

This important book, at its heart, is a basic assumption that Gem and Alan have lived with for decade...

God invites us to change over our lifetimes.

Biblical language for this change is “being transformed.”

** God is seeking to transform our more selfish tendencies into more loving and selfless ones.

** God is seeking to change our perspectives from despairing to hopeful, from fearful to kingdom confident, from anxious to peaceful.

** God seeks to transform the focus of our work so that it is more rootedness in kingdom values and kingdom goals.

Change like this is good news.

 

 

#whatdoesyoursoullove #unhurriedliving #unhurriedlife #unhurriedleader #slowliving #seekingtransformation #kingdomgoals

Spending or Investing Freedom

As followers of Jesus, we are told that we have freedom in Christ. But we can use that freedom in such a way as to either increase it or diminish it. I hear this insight in the words of Paul to his friends in Corinth:

 

“Everything is permissible for me,” but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me,” but I will not be mastered by anything. “Food is for the stomach and the stomach for food,” and God will do away with both of them. However, the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

1 Corinthians 6:12-13 CSB

 

Paul takes slogans about freedom that were popular in his time and exposes the errors they contain. He shows how doing whatever you feel like doing may not always be a good thing, but these days that’s an unpopular message.

 

“I can do whatever I want. I’m free. There is nothing to limit me.” Paul affirms the statement in one sense, but he goes on to qualify it. Of course we can do just about anything we want. God is not in the habit of preventing us from exercising our free will. Paul simply reminds the Corinthians that not everything we are free to do is good to do. Not every exercise of freedom is equal in its outcome. We can freely choose life or we can freely choose destruction. That is the nature of the options God gives us.

 

The other argument Paul offers against the “I can do whatever I want” impulse is that we do not want to be mastered by what we choose to do with our freedom. Do we use our freedom in a way that reduces it or in a way that increases it? Do we spend our freedom or invest it? Freely choosing to exercise increases my freedom in terms of stamina, strength and energy. Choosing to spend my time sitting in my recliner all the time diminishes my physical freedom.

 

When we choose to spend our freedom, over time we’ll have less of it. Such is the nature of addiction. At some point a person may choose to exercise their freedom to smoke cigarettes, but that freedom entraps them as they become dependent on the nicotine.

 

The ancient slogan “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food” was a way of saying “In one end, out the other. It’s never really in me; it just goes through me. What does it matter what I eat?” Paul responds to the absurdity of this by pointing out that neither food nor the physical body is eternal. Both are destined to be destroyed. Both are temporary realities.

 

It’s more important to remember that the body is meant for the Lord. It is given by God and should be used to honor God. Do we use our bodies in a way that draws us toward God or moves us away from him? Seeking sex apart from God’s design is self-destructive. Seeking pleasure through eating and drinking apart from him also destroys us.

 

I think the question God is inviting me to ask myself is this: What would be good for me? What would increase my freedom?

 

For Reflection:

In what way have you invested your freedom so that you have more of it now than you did before?

 

 Photo by Christopher Windus on Unsplash