Alan Fadling's Blog, page 35

UL Podcast #226: Embracing Rhythms of Work and Rest (Ruth Haley Barton)

 

Nearly ten years ago, I wrote my first book, An Unhurried Life. It’s subtitle was “Following Jesus’ Rhythms of Work and Rest.” Discovering and following those rhythms of life and work have been a primary focus for Gem and for me in this last decade. 

So you can perhaps appreciate how glad I was when I saw that Ruth Haley Barton’s next book is titled, Embracing Rhythms of Work and Rest: From Sabbath to Sabbatical and Back Again. In light of these intense last few years that we’ve all lived together, this book could hardly be more timely! 

 

Ruth Haley Barton (Doctor of Divinity, Northern Seminary) is founding president and CEO of the Transforming Center, a ministry dedicated to strengthening the souls of pastors and Christian leaders, and the congregations and organizations they serve. For over twenty years, she has ministered to the soul care needs of pastors and leaders based upon her conviction that the best thing we bring to leadership is our own transforming selves.

Ruth is the author of numerous books and resources on the spiritual life, including Invitation to Solitude and Silence, and Pursuing God's Will Together. 

The Power of Trinitarian Love

Blog by Gem Fadling

My new book, Hold That Thought, is about thoughts and voices that may be unhelpful to us over time. As I was writing this book, I realized I could not talk about thought work without also touching on the love of God. Without the foundational reminder of God with us and the help of God’s Spirit within, where would we find the resolve to engage our thoughts in an ongoing way?

 

2 Corinthians 13:14 contains a blessing that speaks directly to our desire to be embraced by the Trinity: “May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.” The Trinity lives in a perfect union of love. As much as we are invited to notice our thoughts, we are also graciously being wooed into the trinitarian embrace. This is the heartbeat of you already have what you need.

 

And just outside that inner circle lies this truth: “His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence” (2 Peter 1:3 NASB).

 

It is the love of God, the grace of Jesus, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit that empowers us from within. If we stay in our heads by focusing only on our thoughts and narratives, our inner work may soon become hollow and  lifeless. The organic engine that generates lasting change is the undercurrent of trinitarian love. This means everything you need access to, you have access to.

 

This requires receptivity and an acceptance of process. There may be layers on top of layers that require uncovering before we can experience the fullness of this verse. But the pursuit is part of it. Let’s look at the love of the Father, Son, and Spirit as we continue to be more open, aware, and willing to receive their love.

 

The love of God. In Matthew 3:16-17 we find that as Jesus was being baptized, a voice was heard from heaven: “This is my son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” Built into this sentence is unconditional love and acceptance.

 

In a spirit of prayer, let’s personalize this sentence, and feel free to read these words aloud: “This is my daughter, whom I love; with her I am well pleased.” How does that feel?

 

Now, slightly more personal, I’ll use my name (feel free to insert your own): “This is Gem, whom I love; with her I am well pleased.”

 

Finally, hear God saying this to you in the first person: “Gem, I love you; you are so pleasing to me.”

 

When I find myself pushing, I can pause to hear God call me his daughter. You are my daughter. This sense of family care can calm my need to manage and control.
When I’m trying, I can hear God speak of his love for me. Whom I love. This love can quell my need to look everywhere else for esteem or value.
When I’m angsting, I can hear God’s affirmation. With you I am well pleased.

 

This love can relax my anxious heart, and I remember I am always perfectly safe in the kingdom of God.

 

The grace of Jesus. Each Sunday in my Anglican church as the bread is held up before me, the priest utters these beautiful words: “This is the body of Christ, given for you.” Each word speaks beautifully of love and swims in grace.

 

When I’m pushing, I can remember that Jesus gave his very life, his body, for me.
When I am trying, I can remember that Jesus gave himself willingly, a gift.
When I am angsting, I can remember that Jesus gave himself for me. My body. Given. For you.

 

The fellowship of the Spirit. In the upper room, Jesus reminded the disciples that he and the Father would not abandon them but would leave a helper, the Spirit.

 

“I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—the Spirit of truth” (John 14:16-17).

 

Jesus continues in verse 26: “the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of every- thing I have said to you.”

 

When I’m pushing, I can remember that the Spirit promises to teach and remind me of everything Jesus has said.
When I’m trying, I can remember that the Spirit will indeed help me. I am not alone. Ever.
When I’m angsting, I can remember that the Spirit will be with me Embracing eternity can surely talk me off the ledge of my anxieties.

 

The love of the Father. The grace of Jesus. The fellowship of the Holy Spirit. Trinitarian love is the foundation on which we build our thought work. And we can work on both concurrently. We don’t have to put anything off. We simply take our next step on the path of love as well as the highway of our thoughts.

 

Reflect 

The love of God. The grace of Jesus. The fellowship of the Holy Spirit. Which one do you feel the most need for right now?
Take a moment to pray and ask for what you need.
Pause here and breathe. Allow yourself to receive.

 

Note: Adapted from Hold That Thought by Gem Fadling. ©2022 by Gem Fadling. Used by permission of InterVarsity Press. www.ivpress.com.

 

 

Photo by Jamez Picard on Unsplash

ICDT #50: Growing Slow: Wintering

 

Today, my guest is Jennifer Dukes Lee. Jennifer’s most recent book is entitled, Growing Slow. I placed her here right up front on purpose. Her message is one I deeply believe in. How could I not? We are Unhurried Living after all.

The excerpt I chose for you this month is about wintering. If you think about the seasons of the year, most people don’t appreciate the view of a leafless tree, standing alone in the frozen tundra. But as you hear Jennifer describe what happens to farmland in winter, I hope you will feel encouraged deep down inside your soul. Even when you think nothing is happening…so much is actually taking place deep within.

UL Podcast #225: Joy-Empowered Influence

 

We are continuing our series on Alan's book, What Does Your Soul Love? .  Today we are talking about the chapter on "Joy.” In other words, the question, “What does your soul love?” is a question of where do we find deep joy?  

 

In the book of Nehemiah, we hear him telling the people that “the joy of the Lord is their strength.” It is God’s joy over us and in us that empowers and energizes us. It is our finding joy in God that sustains us and enables us to flourish. 

The Way of Spiritual Authority

There is a difference between genuine spiritual authority and political muscle. One is at home in the kingdom of God. The other isn’t. Recall this story about an encounter between the Jewish leaders and Jesus:

 

Finally the temple guards went back to the chief priests and the Pharisees, who asked them, “Why didn’t you bring him in?”

“No one ever spoke the way this man does,” the guards replied.

“You mean he has deceived you also?” the Pharisees retorted. “Have any of the rulers or of the Pharisees believed in him? No! But this mob that knows nothing of the law—there is a curse on them.”

Nicodemus, who had gone to Jesus earlier and who was one of their own number, asked, “Does our law condemn a man without first hearing him to find out what he has been doing?”

They replied, “Are you from Galilee, too? Look into it, and you will find that a prophet does not come out of Galilee.” (John 7:45-52)

 

The temple guards had assessed Jesus based on what they witnessed in him. The chief priests and Pharisees assess Jesus against their own theological preconceptions (which they, of course, assume to be right). Jesus doesn’t live in agreement with conventional Jewish wisdom, and so they declare that Jesus is “deceiving” people. But what if Jesus is right and they are wrong? This is a possibility they cannot seem to consider.

 

The Jewish leaders also make the mistake of thinking that if the important people (like them) haven’t believed in Jesus, then Jesus is obviously wrong. It’s a political power play. They believe that mighty majority is always right. But might can be wrong, and then it uses its power for evil instead of good.

 

Jesus grew up in Nazareth of Galilee, but he was born in Bethlehem. This is what the Jewish leaders do not know about Jesus. What we do not know can be a major problem in our interpretation of things. When we focus on what we do know and ignore the possibility that there is something important we do not know, we just might find ourselves in unexpected error.

 

These powerful and self-righteous leaders assess those who disagree with them as stupid and ignorant. They are just a “mob.” But this so-called mob happens to be assessing Jesus according to truth. Jesus loves coming to those who haven’t already made hardened decisions about how God works because they are willing to take him at face value and see his worth.

 

Thankfully, there was at least one from the powerful Jewish elite who was open to listening to Jesus. Nicodemus had heard Jesus in private and had come to trust his character and his words. Now he speaks up for Jesus publicly, but in a subtle way that doesn’t betray the fact that he is a believer.

 

Be very careful about assuming that your current beliefs are completely error-free. Be open to God teaching you something different. This is the way to grow in spiritual authority.

 

For Reflection:

When did you last sense God inviting you to reconsider your assumptions or beliefs about him? Are you open to praying that God would guide you in this way as he wishes?

 

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash

UL Podcast #224: The Connected Life (Todd Hall)

 

Today Alan talks with author Dr. Todd Hall about his new book The Connected Life: The Art and Science of Relational Spirituality. In it, he talks about the reality of how isolated so many of us feel. The pandemic seemed to amplify and accelerate a sense of disconnection many of us were already feeling in some way or another. 

 

But God invites us into relationship, and connection is a great way to describe what he invites to. God’s Spirit enables us to experience the reality of God’s loving presence with us. But so many feel distant from God rather than close to God. 

 

Todd W. Hall is professor of psychology at Rosemead School of Psychology at Biola University, where he teaches courses on the integration of psychology and theology and positive psychology. He is a faculty affiliate at the Harvard Human Flourishing Program at Harvard University and a founding partner at Flourishing Metrics. Hall is an award-winning researcher, focusing on relational approaches to spirituality, virtue, and leadership. He is a coauthor of Psychology in the Spirit and Relational Spirituality, developer of several widely used spiritual assessments, and codeveloper of the Flourish Assessment.

ICDT #49: Central Paradigms for a Formational Life

 

Today, I’m sharing with you one of the mentor conversations from the first month of Replenish. You’ll get to hear from me, Brenda Renderos and Larissa Marks as we talk about some of the central paradigms of the formational life. This is the kind of content you can expect each month in Replenish. Real life conversations about important and profound matters.

Brenda Renderos is a soul care coach, and Larissa is a spiritual director and formation coach. They are both quite wise and gracious and I know you’ll hear this shine forth as we move through our conversation.

Notice, Discern & Respond Your Way to Greater Freedom

Blog by Gem Fadling

Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist Victor Frankl is attributed with saying, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our power to choose. And in our choice lies our growth and our freedom.”1

 

It seems we are invited to engage the space between stimulus and response. Minimally, within that space, a choice is possible. But what might the process of choice look like, especially in the realm of our thoughts?

 

Notice, Discern, and Respond (NDR) is an empowering approach to working with your thoughts. It is a practice that my husband, Alan, initially titled “unhurrying your thoughts”2 and one that we have shared with leaders around the world. I have greatly expanded on the idea of NDR and have been using this model in my coaching groups with women, and it has been bearing good fruit in that context as well. 

 

I’m suggesting that NDR is one process you can engage in that space. Armed with the empowering NDR process, you can move a thought from unhelpful to helpful. You can lean into powerful and gracious questions so that your own inner Spirit-led wisdom can help you make your way forward. And the beauty is it works whether you are making a quick shift or if the change will take some time. 

 

Once you become familiar with this simple practice, it can become an underlying way of discerning as you engage your own thoughts. Let’s take a look at moving through the process of NDR. 

 

NOTICE

Take the time to notice an unhelpful thought. As you work with the thought, at first, simply see it. Write it down and look at it. You cannot change what you do not see. You don’t have to judge the thought; you can simply notice and hold it in God’s presence. Built into this kind of noticing is the beginning of acceptance. You are no longer hiding from the truth. Noticing leads to discernment and is especially helpful when working with desires or weaknesses. 

 

DISCERN

Discerning is about becoming more curious. Openness and honesty really help here so that you can uncover what is really going on. Look at the unhelpful thought you noticed and wrote down. What is the tone? Is thinking this thought still working for you? Is it true? Will this be a quick shift, or will it take some time to change this pattern? In God’s presence, turn these questions into prayers, and let yourself explore. 

 

Discernment isn’t simply about finding answers. Holding the questions themselves can be stretching and deepening. Use helpful inner-process resources, engage with a wise friend or counselor, or empty your thoughts into your journal. Learn more about yourself and the issue. 

 

Discernment is the key to becoming wiser and more confident. It is also the precursor to more healthy responses. Some thoughts will shift easily and some with require more time. Either way, in time, you can move toward responding. 

 

RESPOND

Once you have spent some time discerning your thought, what is one simple shift you can make or step you can take? Rather than reacting, you can move gently through Notice and Discern into Respond. Responding then becomes an overflow rather than a manufactured headlock you place on yourself. Action flows freely in response to what you’ve noticed and discerned. And remember that sometimes your action may not be an outward to do. It may be more about receptivity or some other dynamic of remaining open. 

 

Process matters in this case, especially if you want to make lasting change. In the work of changing your thought, consider a reframe and the shift you would like to make. This may happen quickly or, depending on how deeply this thought is anchored within, it may take a while. But either way, simply take the next step and keep going until you have a new healthy pattern. 

 

Notice that I use the words helpful and unhelpful. Not good and bad, or even positive and negative. The real question here is whether it’s helpful or not. We don’t need to judge our thoughts; we simply decide if they are helping us move toward wholeness and then adjust as necessary. 

 

For example, anger, and the thoughts surrounding it, is usually considered bad or negative. But, at times, harnessing our anger can lead to healing or move us toward necessary action. We also tend to think sad thoughts are bad. But sadness helps us move through our grief. Both anger and sadness are inevitable on the way to the deepest healing. So be careful about how you label a thought or a feeling. 

 

Good and bad are binary terms and we are so much more complicated than that. On the extreme ends of binary thinking, we may end up with either toxic positivity or nihilism. We are trying to address the healthy middle here, the daily struggle to not be trapped by our thoughts or emotions. 

 

To think and to feel are both good and necessary, and we want to learn how to live healthy versions of ourselves in the midst of the ups and downs. With discernment and proper companionship, you can walk this journey toward wholeness. 

 

Reflect 

How attuned are you to your own thoughts? 
Today, try simply noticing your thoughts and see what themes emerge.
Remember not to judge your thoughts. Simply notice the unhelpful ones and maybe even write them down.
You can always move on to discern and respond later. Noticing is a great first step.

 

-----

Adapted from Hold That Thought by Gem Fadling. ©2022 by Gem Fadling. Used by permission of InterVarsity Press. www.ivpress.com.

 

1Alan Fadling, An Unhurried Leader (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2017), 

137-39.
2This quote is attributed to Viktor Frankl, but the original published source is un- 

known.

ICDT #48: What Does It Mean to Replenish?

 

I first want to talk to you about the word Replenish and why I love it so much. There are a lot of “R” words that I could have chosen: Rest, receive, recover, refill, or restore.

Replenish stands out because within it is the connotation of refilling that which was poured out. It assumes you are giving, serving and working. It is important for us to remember that these dynamics are concurrent. We keep ourselves fresh and replenished as we continue to serve and give.

No matter what your age or stage, I know you are engaging lots of output. Friends, family, work responsibilities--there is much to do. But if you’ve been listening here for long, you know me well enough to know that I believe deeply that you cannot continue to serve from an empty cup.

Replenishing is the idea of the pitcher and the cup. Imagine God as a pitcher of cold, refreshing water and he is constantly pouring. We, the cup, remain under that replenishing stream as we live our lives. John 15 would call this abiding.

An Unhurried Practice: Reading Scripture Slowly

Blog by Alan Fadling

One of the disciplines that has been an important part of my spiritual journey over the years is reading and reflecting on Scripture.  In recent years, I have read the Bible on digital devices like my iPhone, iPad, or computer screen, but at some point I found myself wanting to read a physical Bible again. However, the NIV Bible I was using at that time was so well-loved that the cover was falling off and it was a challenge to carry with me.

 

Then, for my fifty-fifth birthday I received an NIV Pitt Minion Red Letter Reference Bible bound with black calfskin leather. It was a beautiful gift for a lover of the Scriptures. It has served me well (and I love that warm new-leather smell).

 

Here’s what the practice of reading and reflecting on Scripture looks like for me. I enjoy reading extended passages of Scripture. When I first received that new Bible, I decided to begin reading through it chronologically. I found a plan, printed it on a single sheet of paper, and tucked it inside the back cover. As I read, I kept track on that little sheet so I always knew where I was. I didn’t commit to finishing the whole plan but to remaining engaged with it as long as it proved life-giving and grace-giving.

 

I also really enjoy the unhurried practice of simply listening to Scripture, and sometimes when I’m driving, I will listen to a passage using the Bible app on my iPhone. But I find that it helps me become more reflective and receptive to what I’m reading when I can listen to a passage and read along at the same time. I can read in my head much faster than I can read aloud (or listen to someone else read aloud), but I’m not in a Bible-reading race. I’m seeking to listen well to what God is saying.

 

So here’s where the unhurried part comes in. I’ll listen to a chapter or two and let myself slow down to read at the pace of listening. Often I can feel my heart and mind slowing as I engage this practice. There is space to notice the intersection between what I’m reading and what’s happening in my life. There is space to let the words soak in because I’m not speed-reading the text.

 

(You probably already know that there are easy ways to listen to the Bible on your smartphone using the YouVersion App or on your computer at the YouVersion or Bible Gateway websites.)

 

The practice:

Set aside 15 minutes.
Get your Bible and your audio Bible device or website (see above).
Choose a chapter or two that you will listen to while following along.
As you read and listen, let your heart and mind slow down. Listen with not only your ears and eyes but also with your heart and mind.
When you have finished reading and listening to those chapters, take a few more moments to

be still in God’s presence,
pray in response to what you’ve heard, and/or
journal about your experience.

 

I hope you’ll experiment with this practice to see if you find it helpful. CLICK HERE for the free resource on how to read Scripture slowly.

 

For Reflection:

What about this practice sounds inviting to you?
What resistance, if any, rises in you?
Do you want to try on this practice? If so, when and where?

 

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash