Alan Fadling's Blog, page 32

Trust the Process

Blog by Gem Fadling

A few years ago, on our first trip to Italy, we visited the Accademia Gallery in Florence. We specifically wanted to see Michelangelo’s David. Though absolutely exhausted from jet lag, we were determined to make our way on foot from our Airbnb over to the museum.

 

As breathtaking as the statue of David is in its size and beauty, I was surprised to find another set of Michelangelo sculptures that were just as intriguing.

 

In the gallery just before David stand multiple pedestals that hold partially completed sculptures. Michelangelo had been commissioned to create a three-story, freestanding tomb with over 40 figures. The project morphed over the 40 years he was connected to it, shrinking in size, and it ended up as a funerary monument that was only a fraction of what the artist had envisioned and could have achieved if he’d had time to complete it. The Sistine Chapel took up much of his time and took away from the completion of this project.

 

These four unfinished sculptures that now stand in the room next to David never made it onto the tomb.  They are known as “the Prisoners.” Half marble block, half human figure, the statues are a reminder of an incomplete project.

 

But what struck me was that they were not thrown out. They are not considered wasted time or rubbish. They are considered art. They are displayed in a world-renowned museum and are loved for what they are. Even a half-finished Michelangelo is something to marvel at.

 

I’ve thought about these incomplete statues quite a few times since then. Can I love every part of my inner formation process even if what I dreamed didn’t come to complete fruition? Can I accept the unfinished attempts to create something beautiful?

 

Sometimes we start out on a certain path but circumstances change. We don’t have control over all the moving parts and our plans get derailed. Along the way, some parts get completed and others don’t. The end result isn’t what we thought it would be.

 

But, like Michelangelo’s “Prisoners,” could we learn to see the unfinished bits as a cherished part of the process, a necessary step on the way to what we actually accomplish?

 

This can apply to work projects, but it can also be helpful to consider this in light of our own inner work and formation. Either way, it’s a great metaphor for loving all parts of the process.

 

Michelangelo’s incomplete works stand in the room right next to one of his greatest achievements. All of it is considered art and is protected and cherished.

 

May it be so with our lives.

Reflection 

Can I love every part of my process, even if what I dreamed didn’t come to its complete fruition?
Can I accept my unfinished attempts to create something beautiful?
How might I receive God's love in my current form?

 

Photo by Steve Barker on Unsplash

 

 

UL Podcast 240: Analog Christian (Jay Kim)

 

Near the beginning of the pandemic in early 2020, I spoke with Jay Kim about his book Analog Church. It was a great conversation that you can go back and listen to--episode 131. In his follow-up book, Analog Christian, Jay continues to address how we relate to technology, our devices, and our apps. He talks about how we think we’re using our devices, but don’t realize that our devices are also using us. I love the wisdom he shares in this book. By the way, Analog Christian was recently given The Gospel Coalition Award of Distinction in Christian Living. 

 

Jay Y. Kim serves as the lead pastor at WestGate Church in the Silicon Valley and on the leadership team of the ReGeneration Project. His writing has been featured in Christianity Today, The Gospel Coalition, Missio Alliance, and Relevant Magazine. He lives in Silicon Valley with his wife and two children. In addition to Analog Christian, Jay has written Analog Church, 40 Days through the Book of Colossians, and is a contributing author to a number of other projects. 

ICDT #66: Journey of the Soul (Kristi Gaultiere)

Today I’m talking with Dr. Kristi Gaultiere and we’ll be discussing our journey toward emotional and spiritual growth.

I’ve known Kristi for many years. She and her husband have a ministry called Soul Shepherding and their mission is similar to Unhurried Living. They care for and train Christian leaders with a focus on pastors and spiritual directors. Kristi and her husband are both therapists and authors and I’m delighted to share this conversation on transformation over a lifetime.

 

Hardship as an Opportunity for Grace

Blog by Alan Fadling

As he went along, [Jesus] saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.” - John 9:1-5

 

I love this chapter in the Gospel of John. Jesus and his disciples continue their journey together and come across a man who had been born blind. The conventional wisdom of that culture taught that blindness was an obvious evidence of sin. Somebody did something wrong. Was it the blind man’s parents? Was his blindness somehow a punishment?

 

This is a common misconception about suffering. It was one of the erroneous assumptions that Job’s friends made—if only Job would figure out what he’d done wrong and repent, everything would be fine.

 

Here in John 9, Jesus turns conventional wisdom on its head—something he often did. He says the man’s blindness is not a consequence of sin or an occasion for judgment. Blindness, like many other unfortunate human conditions, is an opportunity for God to be graciously working and for us to join God in his work.

 

In this case, the work of God will be one of healing. But it seems to me that the work of God could also have been a work of compassion, a work of service, or a work of blessing. This is the sort of work the Father does, and Jesus joins him in this work.

 

Jesus is the light of the world who brings to light the work of God that we might join him in. Night is a time when no one can work because no one can see what they are doing. If I walk in the light of God, I will see the good work he gives me to join him in.

 

In my own sufferings, struggles, or hardships, I wonder how Jesus wants to shine in my life. How might places of darkness around me become the backdrop for the beauty of his glory?

 

For Reflection  

What in your life or experience is hard or unwelcome? What might it look like for Christ to shine right there? Ask Jesus how he would like to shine in your life in this place.

 

Photo by Josh Nuttall on Unsplash

The Wisdom of Peace, Contentment and Simplicity

Blog by Gem Fadling

It has been said that the book of Proverbs is wisdom for the first half of life and the book of Ecclesiastes is wisdom for the second half of life. An interesting idea.

 

I recently felt an invitation to re-read Ecclesiastes. I knew it talked about meaninglessness, but for some reason that felt like a welcome invitation. So I dug in. Today, I’d like to share what stood out to me as I read.

 

I remember reading Ecclesiastes for the first time many years ago. I could not get into it. How many times can you say “This too is meaningless”?! How depressing!

 

But now, having just turned 59 (yes, one more year to 60), Ecclesiastes felt more like a warm blanket than a cold shower. It’s interesting what a few more decades of life will do for your ability to glean from the wisdom of an old king.

 

I’m going to share a few verses and my musings on them. In a way, you’re getting a peek into my journal. These were my heartfelt and prayerful thoughts as I read through these verses. I hope you too will find some solace in this commonsense wisdom.

 

Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind. (Eccles. 4:6)

 

Contentment. This is a big one for me. I can often feel myself reaching for the future and grasping for more. Can I get a little more shine on that please? Can you put a little extra sauce on that for me? Certainly this isn’t all there is. These are the thoughts that propel me to discontent. This verse says that having less with peace is better than having more with toil and meaninglessness. I agree. Come swiftly, contentment.

 

The sleep of a laborer is sweet, whether they eat little or much, but as for the rich, their abundance permits them no sleep. (Eccles. 5:12)

 

Simply doing my work for the day and being satisfied with what I have can lead to a more peaceful life, which in turn lends itself to sleep. The one who has more to manage has more opportunity for anxiety, stress, and overwhelm. This leads to restless sleep. I’d rather have good sleep.

 

Better what the eye sees than the roving of the appetite. (Eccles. 6:9a)

 

And we’re back to contentment. What is in front of me, what I can see, what is—this is better for me because it is what is occurring. Roving means reaching for whatever “more” is. Dissatisfaction is never-ending with the roving eye. So see what is. Be content with what is.

 

This does not have to negate that aspect of me that is a visionary. They can coexist. Contentment is available to all. Paul said he had found the secret of being content with plenty and in want. I can look forward to the future with hope AND I can be content with today.

 

The more the words, the less the meaning, and how does that profit anyone? (Eccles. 6:11)

 

Jesus said to let our yes be yes and our no be no (Matt. 5:37). This is another invitation to fewer words. Don’t overexplain to anyone—even myself—or to God. Simple, authentic, meaningful talk. That’s what I want.

 

It is better to heed the rebuke of a wise person than to listen to the song of fools. (Eccles. 7:5)

 

Foolishness can sound like a song, wooing and drawing me in. But a rebuke from a wise person is better than siren song. Yes, I’d rather have a rebuke from a wise person. I’d rather be on the path of wisdom than the road to foolishness.

 

So much good wisdom here. Sometimes I like to just cut to the chase. These days we hear so much blathering through all our social channels. It just feels good to hear crisp truth. I hope you found something for yourself here. Blessings to you.

 

Reflection

Read the verses and reflect. Here they are for easy reference:

Better one handful with tranquility than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind. (Eccles. 4:6)
The sleep of a laborer is sweet, whether they eat little or much, but as for the rich, their abundance permits them no sleep. (Eccles. 5:12)
Better what the eye sees than the roving of the appetite. (Eccles. 6:9a)
The more the words, the less the meaning, and how does that profit anyone? (Eccles. 6:11)
It is better to heed the rebuke of a wise person than to listen to the song of fools. (Eccles. 7:5)

 

Which insight do you need most today?
How might it make a difference in your life?

 

Blessings to you as you make your way.

 

 

Photo by Charl Folscher on Unsplash

ICDT Bonus: Taking a Break

 

Gem shares lessons learned from taking a break from Podcast recording and what's in store for I Can Do That! Podcast.

Psalm 95: Gratitude in God’s Presence

Blog by Alan Fadling

I’ve shared before that I have a habit of thinking like a pessimist. I pretend sometimes that I’m just being a realist, but a consistently negative view of the future doesn’t resonate with the abundant reality of God’s kingdom that surrounds us. 

 

One of the practices that has been so important in my recovery from pessimism has been gratitude. I recommend it often to those I coach and speak to. Here’s a line from the Psalms that I pray every morning: 

 

O go your way into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise (Ps 100:3)

 

I have found the practice of thanksgiving to be of great importance to me in my “glass-half-empty” tendency. The daily practice of thanksgiving helps me recall and acknowledge God’s many gifts through the course of a day. I too easily get in the habit of forgetting them and then moving too quickly past them. 

 

I remember sitting once with a man who was my spiritual director. He urged me to take a moment at the end of my day to look back to recall and record the graces and blessings of God through the day. It was timely advice that has borne a lot of good fruit over the years. 

 

I may or may not notice God’s gifts as I live my day, but God’s Spirit can open the eyes of my heart to notice them in this end-of-the-day practice of thanksgiving. The Ignatian tradition calls this the practice of examen. I grow in noticing God’s grace along the way by the daily practice of noticing God’s grace at the end of a day. 

 

So I say to you and, for that matter, to myself, “Let’s come before God this evening as the day comes to a close. Let’s look back with the help of His Spirit at the events, the conversations, the experiences, the circumstances, the challenges, the encouragements of this day. 

 

Where do I notice evidence of God’s great faithfulness? 
Where do I notice His grace encouraging, stimulating, energizing, challenging, even correcting me? 
How do I want to express my thanks for His personal, loving attention in the midst of this single, simple day? 

 

May the practice of thanksgiving enable you to, quite literally, “grow in grace.” 

 

For Reflection

Why not try on this practice at the end of this day. Don’t be rushed. Let God’s Spirit recall to mind ways he has been generous with you through the day in big ways and little ones.

 

Photo by Bookblock on Unsplash

The Myth of Balance

Blog by Gem Fadling

How often have you heard someone say something like this, “I’m just trying to live a balanced life. If I can keep things in balance everything will work out.” 

 

You may or may not agree, however, I don’t think true balance is achievable. 

 

If you think of a scale, you typically have two objects on either side that weigh the same amount and so you have balance. But our lives are so much more complicated than that. 

 

It would be like a scale with multiple plates hanging off in different directions. And then we are expected to get all of them level at the same time.

 

I don’t know about you, but my life doesn’t usually feel balanced, with everything having its perfect place and perfect amount of allotted time. As much as I try, this dynamic is elusive. 

 

That’s because even though we might plan, we don’t have control over people or circumstances…and something always pops up, right?

 

More often there are times when one aspect of our lives requires more attention than another and we pour where we need to. And, overall, hopefully, everyone and everything gets their share.

 

So, let’s set the word balance aside for the moment. What if we try on a couple of different words. What about rhythm or pattern. Now we’re getting somewhere. What if, overall, you have a relatively healthy pattern of attending to the people and tasks in your life?

 

Now, again, life is not this tidy. So, let’s think about this for a moment. We do make plans and carry them out. There are also outside circumstances that insert themselves here and there. So maybe stepping outside this entire construct, let’s ask ourselves a few questions:

What will it take to sustain this life I am living? How will I care for my soul so that I don’t deplete myself?
Who are the actual people and responsibilities in my life? How do I desire to love and serve them? Are they receiving the best version of me?
What might be good to embrace afresh? What is no longer serving me that I can let go?
How willing am I to make the changes that bring about healthier patterns in my life?

 

Yes. This is hard. This will take some time to discern. And what’s even more difficult is enacting what you decide. Especially if you realize you need to let something go.

 

But aren’t you tired of feeling whipped around like someone on a leash? Aren’t you tired of always feeling behind? Aren’t you tired of being tired?

 

Let this be a gracious little nudge in a new direction. You don’t have to demolish everything all at once. One small, simple, and gracious change at a time will do. Build a new habit and then choose another. 

 

A balanced life? Maybe not. But an unhurried life is possible…one choice at a time.

 

Reflection

Here are the questions again. Spend some time with them with your journal and in prayer. Talk with a trusted friend, pastor, or spiritual director. 

 

What will it take to sustain this life I am living? How will I care for my soul so that I don’t deplete myself?
Who are the actual people and responsibilities in my life? How do I desire to love and serve them? Are they receiving the best version of me?
What might be good to embrace afresh and what is no longer serving me that I can let go?
How willing am I to make the changes that bring about healthier patterns in my life?

 

My prayer for you is that you will indeed find patterns that keep your heart near God’s as well as allow you to be an unhurried influence in the lives of others.

 

 

Photo by Martin Sanchez on Unsplash

Following Christ's Unhurried Way

Blog by Alan Fadling

The first line of An Unhurried Life goes like this: “I’m a recovering speed addict—and I don’t mean the drug. I’m talking about the inner pace of my life.”

 

I’m still in recovery. 

 

I have not arrived at the oasis of easy unhurried living. I still catch myself calculating the fastest freeway lane or the quickest grocery line. I still sometimes think that the 47 seconds that I save will make a dramatic difference in the quality of my life or my work. I don’t think it does. 

 

So when it comes to learning to live an unhurried life, what has proven most helpful is realizing that I follow an unhurried Savior. 

 

Doing God’s work

Sometimes when I’ve heard talk about discipleship to Jesus, the primary focus has been on doing the same sort of works as Jesus does. This is, of course, key in our discipleship to Jesus. In the Upper Room, Jesus tells his inner circle, “…whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father (Jn 14:12).” 

 

And about those works, Jesus says that: “…the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does (Jn 5:19).” 

 

So we are indeed invited to follow Jesus by doing the same sorts of works as he learned to do from his Father. Discipleship is doing the same kinds of works Jesus does. 

 

Speaking God’s Words

Or, when it comes to the life of discipleship, the focus has sometimes been mostly on speaking the same kinds of words as Jesus speaks. What we call the great commission at the end of the gospel of Matthew has Jesus telling his first followers, and us, to “Go make disciples…teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you (Mt 28:19-20).” 

 

And what we are invited to teach others is what Jesus learned from the Father. Jesus says, “…I did not speak on my own, but the Father who sent me commanded me to say all that I have spoken. I know that his command leads to eternal life. So whatever I say is just what the Father has told me to say (Jn 12:49-50).” Discipleship is saying the same kinds of words Jesus says. 

 

Following God’s Way

When it comes to our following Jesus, we don’t always hear as much about following his way. Doing his works and speaking his words must be done in his unique way if they are to be fruitful. 

 

His is a loving way. His is a way of peace. His is a humble and gentle way. His is an unhurried way. Discipleship is lived rooted in the way—the rhythms—of Jesus. 

 

Now, while I’m suggesting that Jesus was unhurried, that’s not to say that Jesus was never busy. Jesus often spent a day caring for the needs of the crowd, teaching them and healing them of their sicknesses. Luke 5:15 says, “…news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses.” 

 

Jesus was busy, but he was not hurried. Busy is simply a matter of schedule. Hurried is a matter of soul. When I recommend unhurried living, I’m not suggesting an emptier calendar, but a fuller soul. 

 

After Luke describes this very full day Jesus spent caring for the crowd, he makes this statement about the rhythm of Jesus’ life: “But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed (Lk 5:16).” I’ve got to be honest. In the first decade of my Christian life and ministry, I’m pretty sure that verse wasn’t in my Bible. I don’t remember reading it or hearing anyone talk about it. 

 

But Jesus often withdraws to be alone to pray. Often. Jesus was unhurried enough to often enjoy time in the presence of his Father. He does not do this once in a while, but often. It’s a pattern—a rhythm—in the life of Jesus. And it’s a rhythm we’re invited to follow. It’s His way. 

 

I think that when Jesus withdraws to lonely places to pray, he hears, or at least remembers, the voice of his Father: “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased (Mt 3:17).” Jesus then speaks to us of the love he hears from the mouth of the Father. 

 

He says to us, “You are beloved by my Father. You bring great pleasure to his heart.” In solitude, Jesus remembers again who he is because he remembers who the Father is and what the Father says. In solitude, we can do the same. 

 

I mean, how did Jesus come to know what the Father was doing so that he might join the Father in that work? How did Jesus know what the Father was saying so that he might speak similar words? Might it not been because he often withdrew to listen to the Father and look to the Father?

 

What does this say about our own life of following him? We might decide that this unhurried way of Jesus would be good for us, too. It might help us to find a way to follow Jesus to the lonely places, often, to be with the Father, to listen to the Father, to talk with the Father. 

 

When we withdraw into lonely places, we step away from “doing” places into “being” places, from “speaking” places into “listening” places, from “serving” places into “receptive” places. We withdraw to take a long, deep inhale of the goodness, the generosity, the loving presence of the Father…just like Jesus does. We learn to resist the temptation to believe that our life is all exhale. 

 

What happens if I don’t inhale after speaking a sentence? What if I keep on talking and fail to take a breath? Pretty soon I run out of air. Sometimes I’ve lived my life and done my work as though I don’t need to inhale. 

 

I am learning to follow Jesus’ rhythm of work and prayer. I am learning to follow Jesus to solitary places to pray. What might that look like for you? 

 

It might look like occasionally setting aside an hour or two, maybe even part of a day, to simply be with God for no other reason than to be receptive, to be attentive, to listen, to be present.

 

It might look like taking a few moments at the beginning of the day, in the midst of our day, or at the end of the day to be still and remember that God is God, and he’s much better at being God than I am (even though I sometimes catch myself trying to do his job for him). 

 

It might look like taking a walk that isn’t so much for aerobic benefit as it is for soul benefit. To look and listen while I walk. To let my heart and mind open up into the presence of God. To speak of my worries and to listen to the voice of the Prince of Peace. To speak of my hopes and dreams and to listen to the One “who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us (Eph 3:20).” 

 

For Reflection

What sounded like an invitation to your ears in what you just read? 
How would you like to respond to and embrace this invitation?

ICDT #65 - Enneagram Wisdom for Relating with Others (Suzanne Stabile)

 

Most of us have no idea how others see or process their experiences. And that can make relationships difficult.  Understanding the motivations and dynamics of our different personality types can be the key that unlocks sometimes mystifying behavior in others―and in ourselves.  

 

Suzanne Stabile’s book, The Path Between Us looks at the nine Enneagram types and how they behave and experience relationships.  

 

Today I’m sharing a portion of my Replenish conversation with Suzanne. We all desire healthier relationships and Suzanne can help point the way.

 

The question I asked Suzanne for this I Can Do That! Podcast episode is this: What is a unique challenge for each Enneagram type in relationships?

 

Connect with Gem on Instagram and learn more on the Unhurried Living website and the Replenish Community.

Learn about her new book, Hold That Thought: Sorting Through the Voices in Our Heads