Alan Fadling's Blog, page 29

Become a Promoter of Peace

Blog by Gem Fadling

If we were to only pay attention to the 24-hour news cycle, we would conclude there is very little peace in the world. To be sure, dramatic and traumatic events are going on around the globe. But right in the middle of all that, many people are simply living their lives--loving their families, working hard, and serving others.

 

We can choose to be people of peace right in the middle of a contentious, distracted, and overwhelmed culture.

 

Today we’re looking at a scripture passage that gives us beautiful counsel for extending peace to everyone, no matter the circumstances. And there’s a surprising twist that generously benefits us as we do.

 

Let’s start by reading from Luke 10:

 After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field. Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves. Do not take a purse or bag or sandals; and do not greet anyone on the road.

 

“When you enter a house, first say, ‘Peace to this house.’ If someone who promotes peace is there, your peace will rest on them; if not, it will return to you. Stay there, eating and drinking whatever they give you, for the worker deserves his wages. Do not move around from house to house.

 

“When you enter a town and are welcomed, eat what is offered to you. Heal the sick who are there and tell them, ‘The kingdom of God has come near to you.’” (Luke 10:1-9)

 

I love Jesus’ instructions for speaking to others with the words “peace to you,” along with the idea that those who promote peace will receive peace.

 

Jesus also alludes to the idea that those who do not promote peace will not receive it. Actually, he says, “it [your peace] will return to you.” We can infer that those who do not want to engage peacefully will not receive peace

 

At first blush, this may seem spiteful or malicious. If I share the peace of Jesus, why won’t everyone benefit from it? Well, I’m guessing it’s not what Jesus prefers, but it is what Jesus allows.

 

Remember, everyone gets to decide how they behave, what they continue to think about, what they say, AND what they receive and engage. So, if someone doesn’t choose peace, they will not enjoy its benefits…because they chose to reject it. Again, not because of spite but because of reality. What you don’t welcome you don’t enjoy.

 

There are many reasons why a person wouldn’t choose peace. Of course, I believe people can grow, change, and become more whole. In fact, I’m basing my life on that. People get to change. And yet some are unwilling to change, and they remain in that state for as long as they choose.

 

Let’s consider the phrase from verse 6 that says “if not, it will return to you.” The peace we extend to those who choose not to receive it circles back to us. So either way we are blessed. This is a gracious gift that could go unnoticed unless we stop to ponder its significance.

 

Jesus wanted the disciples to know they would receive the blessing of peace no matter what other people chose. Their own peaceful greeting would return to them and they would benefit from it. It was a little extra loving care on an unknown journey.

 

In like manner, we can simply extend peace as God has called us to do, and God’s got us covered no matter what others choose for themselves. Either way we are blessed with peace by Jesus. It’s not on us to try to make something happen.

 

Since you’ve been traveling with us for a while in these emails and blogs, you are likely a person of peace. You are willing to receive what Jesus offers and you desire to extend that same peace to others.

 

We all have the honor of extending peace and reminding others that God is near. This can occur every day in real ways with the actual people in our lives. We love, serve, mentor, and teach people who are inherently loved by a gracious God. And the blessing of peace is graciously given to those who receive, including us.

 

Reflection

Let’s remember the kind of peace Jesus extends by recalling his words from John 14:27:

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

 

Take a moment right now to receive this peace. And let Jesus know you are willing to extend this peace to others.

 

 

Photo by Kien Do on Unsplash

UL Podcast #252: The Process of Working with God

 

This week I share an insight about working with God that has been especially important to me over the years. It’s about the difference between process thinking and event thinking. This idea is one of the many gifts God has given me through mentors.  

The Christian life is a process, a pathway, a journey. Working with God is, too.

How to Change the World

Blog by Alan Fadling

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to be a person who makes a difference in the world. I’ve wanted to be recognized for making a significant contribution to the good of others. But how?

 

There is an epitaph on the tomb of an Anglican bishop in Westminster Abbey that has inspired me since I first heard about it:

 

When I was young and free and my imagination had no limits, I dreamed of changing the world. As I grew older and wiser, I discovered that the world would not change. I shortened my sights somewhat and decided to change only my country.   

 

But, that, too, seemed immovable.

 

As I grew into my twilight years, in one last desperate attempt, I settled for changing only my family, those closest to me. But, alas, my family would have nothing of it.

 

And now as I lie on my deathbed, I suddenly realized: If only I had changed my self first, then by example I would have changed my family.

 

From their inspiration and encouragement, I would have been able to better my country and, who knows, I may even have changed the world.

 

When it comes to Jesus’ strategy for changing the world, he began with a simple focus on the human heart. He did not set out primarily to change the way people behaved—individually or corporately. He knew that without a change of heart, any outward change would be short-lived. Instead, he sought to help people turn toward a vision of the kingdom of God on display in his own life, his own manner, his own way. This was the model for the change to which he invited people.

 

And this was his essential message from the moment he arrived—from the moment of his Advent: “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near” (Matthew 4:17). For each person who heard Jesus preach, the call to repent was an invitation to change.

 

To some ears, the invitation to repent does not feel like a word of good news. To some it may sound more like “Stop everything you enjoy and become religious (and boring).” But Jesus is saying that being able to change is good news and change like that is possible. You can live in the different (and better) direction of the kingdom of heaven.

 

“Change is good news when it is change in the direction of alignment with the good, beautiful, and true purposes of God and his kingdom. Change is good news when it moves in the direction of fruitfulness that fulfills our deepest aspirations and blesses a world that needs it.” (What Does Your Soul Love?, p. 7)

 

It helps to remember in all this that repentance is both a turning away and a turning toward. As many in liturgical traditions pray in confession, week after week,

 

We have indeed erred and strayed from God’s ways like lost sheep.

We have followed too much the devices and desires of our own hearts.

We have offended against God’s holy laws.

We have left undone those things which we ought to have done,

and have done those things which we ought not to have done;

and apart from God’s grace, there is no health in us.

 

This is our weekly reminder of confession and repentance. We turn away from that which drains us of life and does harm to ourselves and others. But repentance also turns toward God:

 

We look to the God who has mercy upon us.

We look to the One who spares all those who confess their faults.

We look to the One who restores all those who are penitent, according to his promises declared to all people in Christ Jesus our Lord.

We look to the One who graciously grants us the capacity to live a godly, righteous, and sober life, to the glory of his holy Name.

 

We turn away from our wayward impulses and actions, and we turn toward the God of all mercy and grace.

 

We repent. Repentance is good news.

 

And forgiveness is good news too. How good it is to know that God prefers to put our shortcomings and offenses behind him. God delights in mercy. He longs to forgive us even more than we long to be forgiven.

 

Repentance is not about limitations or legalism or judgment. It doesn’t lead to a sour or pinched life. Repentance offers us the good news that necessary change is possible. Aren’t there realities about your present way of living that you would like to change? Aren’t there ways you’d like to be more free, more whole, more healed, more restored?

 

“Repentance says that this freedom and healing are available if we turn toward the God who frees us and heals us. Repentance is turning away from that which harms us, enslaves us, and even poisons us. Repentance is turning our heart, mind, and body toward the one who heals, rescues, and restores us.” (A Year of Slowing Down, Day 228)

 

For Reflection:

What has been your experience with repentance? In what way has it sometimes sounded like bad news? In what way have you experienced it as a gift of God to us?

ICDT #72: Create a Clearing

 

It is easy to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders these days because we can see and hear what is going on in most corners of our planet. Psychologically, emotionally, relationally and even physically, this is too much to bear.

 

Postlethwaite’s poetic invitation is to create a clearing inside our own dense forest, and…wait. Wait as a song is given to us (I would add “by God”). Then we will know how to serve.

 

This is an unhurried invitation isn't it? The temptation is always to keep moving forward, mostly at breakneck pace. There is so much to do! There are so many needs! How will it ever get done?

 

But unhurried leadership takes on a different view. Unhurried leadership knows that we must fill up with what we would pour out. 

UL Podcast #251: The Power of Personal Stories (David Zailer)

 

Today, I get to share with you a conversation with a friend and fellow author, David Zailer. His latest book, Death of a Fisherman, is a very honest, personal story. I was honored to write an endorsement for the book, which went like this: “Honest stories well-told help us walk our own lives in truth. Real stories of embracing grace show us the way to grow in grace ourselves. David has told a story that is full of both grace and truth.

David Zailer is an author, speaker, and founder of Operation Integrity. He is also on the faculty of The Leadership Institute, championing faith-based recovery internationally. His current book is Death of a Fisherman: A Memoir of Family, Faith, and Forgiveness. His previous books include Our Journey Home, When Lost Men Come Home, and Starting Point for Recovery. David lives in Laguna Niguel, California where he is active in his community and enjoys running and cycling.

Connect with David via Linked In.

 

Becoming a Wise Counselor

Blog by Gem Fadling

As a spiritual director and soul care coach, I care very much about the process and journey of others. I deeply believe that God is the author and perfecter of a person’s faith—which means I am not.

 

I accompany others as they walk with God. There’s a huge conversation we could have about the paradigms and practices that flesh this out in my work. But today I’d like to share a little bit about this dynamic by focusing on a small verse from 1 Thessalonians.

 

“And we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone.” (1 Thess. 5:14)

 

It would be easy to simply gloss over this and ignore the relational nuances, or to turn it into some rigid formula for one’s inner control freak. Instead, I like to think of this verse as wise counsel for truly seeing others and responding in ways that might actually help them make their way.

 

We’ll simply take each phrase at face value as we move through the verse. 

Warn those who are idle and disruptive
Encourage the disheartened
Help the weak
Be patient with everyone

 

Each verb makes sense for the person being described, doesn’t it? 

If someone is idle and disruptive, warning might ensure they make necessary changes.
If someone is disheartened, encouragement is a great way to support them.
If someone is weak, they might need actual help to make their way.

 

No one is arguing with this so far, right? These are rather logical ways to serve others. But if hurry is in our mix, we might not be able to recognize the difference between the idle and disruptive, the disheartened, or the weak.

 

We then might end up warning the weak or encouraging the disruptive. 

The idle and disruptive are not brought to wisdom and good action by mere encouragement and help.
The disheartened would be crushed by warning, and help only goes so far if they are truly downtrodden.
The weak need more than encouragement, and they certainly don’t need warning.

 

See how this passage is true wisdom in love? It’s so good!

 

Here are two questions for us as leaders: 

Am I the kind of person who takes the time to really see others and discern who they are and where they are coming from?
Am I the kind of leader who would have the inner reserve to respond appropriately in love?

 

Unhurried leadership takes time for others. It’s so easy to get caught up in programs and tasks and lose sight of the actual hearts, dynamics, and lives of the people we serve.

 

A leader with the heart of a spiritual director would continue to believe deeply in the work of God in the life of the other. There would be honor and respect for the ongoing, God-initiated process. And there would be openness to the Spirit’s guidance for how best to respond in each circumstance.

 

Notice how the verse ends: “Be patient with everyone.” I’d like to think this includes myself. Yes, be patient with others, no matter their situation. But also be patient with myself while I continue to grow and learn as a person of influence. Patience is the unhurried spirit in which we approach all people.

 

Reflection 

Ponder these questions: 

Am I the kind of person who takes the time to really see someone and discern who they are and where they are coming from?
Am I the kind of leader who would have the inner reserve to respond appropriately in love?
How am I growing in patience—with myself and with others?

 

May God help each one of us as we make the unhurried moves to see others, and to be patient with ourselves as we make our way.

 

Photo by call me hangry 🇫🇷 on Unsplash

UL Podcast #250: The Gift of Restlessness (Casey Tygrett)

 

We talk a lot on this podcast about God’s gift of rest. But I wonder if you’ve ever thought about the gift of restlessness. Today, I’m talking with a long-time friend of the podcast, Casey Tygrett, about his new book, The Gift of Restlessness. In fact, Casey was among the first interviews we did when we launched the Unhurried Living podcast nearly six years ago. That was episode #16 and we talked about his first book, Becoming Curious. 

Casey speaks with the compassion and wisdom of a spiritual director. You’re going to appreciate what he has to share. 

 

Casey Tygrett earned a Master of Divinity degree and Doctor of Ministry in Spiritual Formation degree from Lincoln Christian Seminary (Lincoln, IL). 

 

He completed the Tending the Holy spiritual direction training program in 2015, and since then has been able to provide spiritual direction to individuals both privately and as the Director of Spiritual Direction at Soul Care. Soul Care provides spiritual direction to church, parachurch, and non-for-profit leaders so that they can lead from a place of soul health & soul flourishing.

 

He is the author of Becoming Curious: A Spiritual Practice of Asking Questions (2017) and The Practice of Remembering: Discovering the Place of Memories in Our Spiritual Life. The book The Practice of Remembering was awarded the 2020 Award of Merit in Spiritual Formation by Christianity Today.

A World Filled with Love

Blog by Alan Fadling

Psalm 119 has a potent way of describing our world. I wonder if it will resonate with you. I wonder if it sounds like the world you live in today.

 

The earth is filled with your love, Lord;
teach me your decrees.
  -- Psalm 119:64 NIV

 

If you were asked, without having read those two lines, “What is our world full of today?,” how would you answer? Conflict? Selfishness? Hatred? While certainly there is plenty of each in our world today, the psalm writer sees the world around him filled even fuller with the love of God.

 

One morning during a season of great challenge and hardship, I offered this prayer after reading those two lines from Psalm 119:

 

“I live in a world full of your love, Father. I am surrounded by your boundless care. There is no place I can look where I would fail to find your care present. Even when I look around me and see so much that does not resemble love, enable me to recognize your love wherever I am and wherever I look today. Help me see Jesus today. In seeing him, may I see in him all that I need. May I then reflect his life and love in everything I do and with everyone I meet.”

 

And when I come to see the truth of God’s ever-present, surrounding love, I’ll want to learn from him how I can best live. I’ll want to be taught God’s ways. I’ll want to be guided by God’s counsel. The degree to which we welcome God’s guidance is the degree to which we believe it is the best counsel possible for our lives.

 

In a world so full of God’s loving care, obeying divine direction is the most sensible thing I can possibly do. As I come to God, whatever lying offers may tempt me will be exposed as empty and destructive.

 

May our lives, like the earth, be filled with God’s love today.

 

For Reflection:

How do you react to these lines from Psalm 119? How do they contrast with your thoughts, feelings, and experiences? How might you invite God’s Spirit to grow your confidence in their truth?

 

Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

UL Podcast #249: Sage: Flourishing in the Second Half of Life (Chris Bruno)

 

There is a lot being said these days about toxic versions of masculinity. What I’ve sometimes wondered is at least some of this about men growing older without growing in grace and wisdom. It’s why I’m grateful to be talking with Chris Bruno about his book Sage: A Man’s Guide Into His Second Passage. And for the women in our listening community, I believe you’ll gain wisdom for your own journey, as well as for the men in your life. 

 

Chris Bruno is the Co-Founder and CEO of Restoration Project and Founder and CEO of ReStory® Counseling, devoting his life to helping people come alive. In addition to Sage, he is author of Man Maker Project: A Father's Guide to Initiating His Son to Manhood and Brotherhood Primer: A Journey Into Genuine Masculine Friendships. Chris is a licensed professional counselor with decades of experience helping men recover their hearts. Married for 27 years to his wife, Beth, they have three mostly adult children and enjoy adventures in the Colorado mountains or overseas whenever possible. 

ICDT #71: It's All About the Heart

Today we are pondering the idea of the heart. And, for this conversation, I’m defining the heart as the inner person, that deepest place within ourselves where we interact on the central aspects of life in connection to God. This is an important idea and I’m so glad you are engaging with me today.