Alan Fadling's Blog, page 27

A Posture for Treansformation

Blog by Gem Fadling

I’ve long been intrigued by process, and, paired with my natural bent toward curiosity, I paused once to ask God how my life’s journey had brought me to that current point. Of course, I could look back and see how I had imperfectly and messily traversed all of the circumstances in my life—the highs, the lows, and the in-betweens. But what propelled me forward before, during, and after each season, keeping in mind the dynamics of a life of transformation? How did I make my way through resistance?

 

As I pondered my journey, the first three dynamics that arose from within were the words open, aware, and willing.

 

Open: Do you want it? Openness implies receptivity, the opposite of being closed up, small, narrow, and the attitude “I don’t need that.” We don’t have to be perfectly open. God welcomes us at our current state of readiness. However, at any point, we can decide to become even just a bit more open so that we can welcome whatever is next. Throughout every season of our lives, it is possible to be open and listen to God’s voice and follow his promptings.

 

This means having the courage to stretch beyond what feels safe. Any real change requires leaving the safety of where we are to venture into new territory. How much do you want transformation that leads to greater freedom? Engaging with an open heart and mind can keep the pathway clear.

 

Aware: Are you noticing? After identifying a sense of being open, the next dynamic to emerge is awareness. This begs the question of having access to a higher consciousness. We can call this part of ourselves the “inner observer.” The inner observer allows us to stand back a bit and get a more objective look at what is going on. When we don’t engage the inner observer, we can get stuck in reactive mode.

 

With our inner observer engaged we can notice more often what is going on inside of us which, in turn, can lead to insights that lead to healing. Awareness takes as much courage as openness because we are saying that we are not afraid to dig deeper into our inner world. We are not afraid to tackle our weaknesses and issues. We are not afraid to notice what is occurring in our relationships and take appropriate action for change.

 

Willing: Are you willing to take action? Right on the heels of being open and aware, we find willingness. Are we willing to do something about what we have been open to and the inner dynamics we found as we became more aware? This is an important moment. If we are not willing to take action, then, by definition, we will remain behind the wall of resistance.

 

Reflection

 Check in with yourself. Think of one area of desired change in your life. Are you: 

Open: Do you want it?
Aware: Are you noticing?
Willing: Are you willing to take action?

 

Being open, aware, and willing is the place to begin if we find ourselves stuck in resistance. Each word is invitational and implies gracious presence with ourselves and others.

 

P.S. What Does Your Soul Love? is the perfect book to use for your upcoming small group season. There are journal/conversation questions at the end of each chapter and there is a small group guide in the appendix. Order from your favorite bookstore.

 

Taken from What Does Your Soul Love? by Gem & Alan Fadling. ©2019 by Gem & Alan Fadling. Used by permission of InterVarsity Press.  www.ivpress.com .

 

 

 

ICDT #76: Fruit That Lasts (Jodie Niznik)

 

I recently had the pleasure of spending a weekend with my friend, teacher and leader, Jodie Niznik. We talked about fruitfulness inspired by God, as compared to productivity inspired by me…which can sometimes lead to over-giving.

 

We often think we need to accomplish things by direct action. But fruitfulness works a little differently. Jodie and I dig into that and I trust you’ll find some nuggets to tuck away as well as some new action steps.

Jodie Niznik, a graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary, helps people create space for God in their lives through her Scripture meditation podcast entitled "So Much More", and equips them to take another step with Jesus through her Real People, Real Faith Bible studies and teaching. She served in pastoral ministry for over twelve years. Her calling and passion is to equip people to create space for God in their lives and take another step in their journey with Jesus. Jodie is married to Tim. They have two adult daughters and a very poorly trained Yorkie-poo. You can connect with her at jodieniznik.com and on Instagram.

Retreat as a Leadership Strategy (Part 2)

Blog by Alan Fadling

Two weeks ago, I wrote the first part of this series  about personal spiritual retreat. If you didn’t get a chance to read it, I invite you to begin there and then continue here as I unpack four more key phrases from Elton Trueblood’s 1961 book The Company of the Committed. Here’s the quotation again in a lightly edited form:

 

“One rare but powerful item of discipline for the apprentice of Christ is the requirement that each one undertake a personal experience of solitude at least once a month. This is patterned consciously on the experience of Christ who periodically went alone, even at the price of temporary separation from the needs of others. This aloneness is not primarily about refined self-indulgence, but rather a consequent enrichment of one’s subsequent contribution.

 

“A person who is always available is not worth enough when they are available. Everyone engaged in public life will realize the extreme difficulty to getting away each month for a period of five or six hours, but the difficulty is not a good reason for rejecting the discipline. It is the men and women who find it hardest to get away who need the redemptive solitude most sorely.

 

“They need to be where they are free from the compulsion of chit-chat, from the slavery of the telephone, and even from the newspaper. A Christianity which understands itself will make ample provision for retreat houses in which such solitude is expected and protected.” (The Company of the Committed, pp. 43-44)

 

Let’s pick up where my previous post left off.

 

5. Difficult Isn’t Impossible

Trueblood acknowledges that “everyone engaged in public life will realize the extreme difficulty to getting away each month for a period of five or six hours, but the difficulty is not a good reason for rejecting the discipline.” If it was difficult in 1961 to get away for part or all of a day each month, how much more challenging does it feel today? But Trueblood is right. The difficulty is not a good reason to disqualify ourselves for this practice.

 

If Jesus had time for this practice in his three and a half years of ministry, how can we say that we do not? Are we busier than Jesus?

 

Perhaps the difficulty we sometimes have envisioning ourselves in this practice of spiritual retreat is that we place less importance on the practice and more importance on the many other things filling our lives.

 

I typically schedule my retreat days many months in advance. If I wait until a new month arrives and look for a convenient time to fit in a spiritual retreat day, it often feels impossible to make such space.

 

And because I plan months ahead, I sometimes get to a week when I’ve planned a day to step away and it feels intensely full. That’s when I find myself thinking, “I’ve picked the wrong week to lose a day of work.”

 

This happens in part because I still sometimes believe that the productivity of my work is just an arithmetic problem: “More hours working always equals more productivity.” There is an element of truth to this, but there is also the moment when all my work begins to result in diminishing returns.

 

Whenever I hold to my plan of getting away for a day of spiritual retreat, even during the busiest of weeks, I never come to the close of that day and think, “I really wish I hadn’t done this.” I’ve discovered that this practice of monthly retreat has a way of multiplying the fruitfulness of my work.

 

6. Solitude Is Redemptive

Trueblood says that “it is the men and women who find it hardest to get away who need the redemptive solitude most sorely.” The harder it is for us to cultivate this sort of monthly rhythm, the more likely it is that we need this gift even more than we realize. Trueblood uses the phrase “redemptive solitude.” That is exactly what spiritual retreat has been for me. More than once this practice has saved my spiritual life, my marriage, and my ministry.

 

Solitude is redemptive because it is an encounter with my Redeemer. God does for me in solitude what I cannot do for myself, especially in the midst of my busy workdays.

 

7. Finding Freedom from Distraction

Look at how Trueblood describes the sort of distractions that people in his day needed to be freed from. He says that “they need to be where they are free from the compulsion of chit-chat, from the slavery of the telephone, and even from the newspaper.”

 

It sounds almost silly that the only distractions people had to worry about at the middle of the last century were chit-chat, wired telephones, and newspapers. What would Trueblood think about our world today, sixty-plus years after he wrote those words? Could he have imagined the smartphones that most of us carry in our pockets or purses? Could he have envisioned the scrolling that takes up hours of our life day after day after day?

 

Spiritual retreat is an opportunity to set aside everything that has a tendency to distract us. Would Jesus have been able to withdraw to lonely places and pray if he had brought an iPhone with him? Would the disciples have been able to resist sending him a quick text about something important he needed to know?

 

Spiritual retreat is a way of recovering the attention that our devices sometimes steal from us (if we let them).

 

8. Valuing Personal Retreats in Our Organizations

Finally, Trueblood suggests that “a Christianity which understands itself will make ample provision for retreat houses in which such solitude is expected and protected.” This speaks to the priority that true spiritual retreats are to have in the normal life of a church. Trueblood urges churches and denominations to provide dedicated spaces for this practice.

 

These days most of the work of spiritual retreats is being done through parachurch organizations, although some denominations do have retreat centers available.

 

Churches have sometimes used the word “retreat” to label something that is a bit too busy and noisy for the sort of listening space and presence to God that Trueblood recommends. It’s never good if we return from a so-called retreat more tired than when we left. A conference is also not quite the same as a retreat.

 

These times of solitude that Trueblood describes need to be expected and protected. The word “expected” speaks to organizational culture. We need Christian leadership cultures in which spiritual retreat is normal and not an exception. The word “protected” speaks to valuing this practice to such a degree that it is modeled and encouraged.

 

By the way, this insight about retreat as a strategic leadership rhythm is one of many that we’ll be sharing with leaders who join a new training experience we’re calling PACE. It’s a 21-month certificate in leadership and soul care, and it’s the kind of training Gem and I have been offering in various forms for 30 years now.

 

PACE will help you grow as a leader who cares for souls—beginning with your own. We’ll help you move at the pace of grace, grow at the pace of transformation, and lead at the pace of Jesus.

 

Gem and I are thrilled at the opportunity to gather with a community of 20-25 leaders walking through this learning experience together. We hope you’ll visit our website to explore this possible next step in your own “working with God” journey.

 

For Reflection:

If you find yourself drawn to this practice of personal spiritual retreat, when will you set aside a few hours or even a day for the sort of redemptive solitude Trueblood describes? Schedule that in your calendar now, including a location where you’ll enjoy that time.

 

Photo by Cara Fuller on Unsplash

ICDT Bonus: Sabbatical: Rest. Play. Relationship.

 

What is the purpose of a sabbatical and how is it even possible? Great questions that I answer today as Alan and I prepare for our 3rd annual monthly sabbatical in July. Listen in as I share how we plan for, engage in and promote this kind of soulful rest. Our  categories of our engagement include: 

Rest. Play. Relationships. Reading. Prayer. Unplugging. Beauty. Refilling.

UL Podcast #259: On Getting Out of Bed (Alan Noble)

 

I’ve shared that one of the unexpected unhurriers of my life has been suffering. And much of that suffering has been more a suffering of soul than physical suffering. Anxiety and depression have too often been familiar companions throughout my life. 

 

For that reason, I’m glad to have a chance to speak with Alan Noble about his recently released book, On Getting Out of Bed: The Burden & Gift of Living. In it, he shares his own journey with inner suffering like anxiety and depression, and he offers us a vision of how we might discover the grace of God right in the middle of all that. I’m hopeful you’ll find grace for the hard places in your own soul’s journey. 

 

Alan Noble (PhD, Baylor University) is associate professor of English at Oklahoma Baptist University, cofounder and editor in chief of Christ and Pop Culture, and an advisor for the AND Campaign. He has written for the Atlantic, Vox, BuzzFeed, The Gospel Coalition, Christianity Today, and First Things. He is also the author of Disruptive Witness and You Are Not Your Own.

Seven Central Paradigms

Blog by Gem Fadling

Every once in a while I like to reflect on all God has taught me over the previous few months or years. In many ways that’s what my books What Does Your Soul Love? and Hold That Thought are—a gathering of life lessons learned at the feet of Jesus.

 

Recently I journaled what I see as my current and central paradigms. I am grateful for the grace of God shining a light for me in these important areas. Each of these informs how I view God, myself, and others. Over time I long to grow in love in all three relationships.

 

This list is not exhaustive and does not represent all that is important to me. But it is a good start, and it does embody what I hold dear in this season.

 

God Is Love

God is love (1 John 4:16). God is not elsewhere (Acts 17:28). The profound simplicity of this reality is life-changing.

 

God Is Expansive

God is big and expansive, and I am invited into that fullness. “For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, and in Christ you have been brought to fullness.” (Col. 2:9-10a)

 

I cannot wrap my mind around this, but I embrace it as the truth and long to experience it more and more.

 

Engage the Way of Love

Viewing life as a zero-sum game (winners and losers) is the lowest form of relational thinking. Beware of either/or, this/that, us/them binary thinking. It’s too small to encapsulate the complexities of life.

 

The way of love leads to higher character, which leads to higher relating, living, and working. A good question to ask is, What is the third way? I’ve found that the third way leads with love. “It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Cor. 13:7)

 

Character Is Vital

Our leadership comes from within—who we are. Who I’m becoming matters more than what I’m achieving. What do my achievements matter if my insides don’t match my outsides?

 

“All the church needs to fulfill Christ’s purposes on earth is the quality of life he makes real in the life of his disciples.” (Dallas Willard)

 

God’s Ways Span Cultures

God is both personal and transcendent. The fact that God is personal doesn’t negate God’s transcendence. God doesn’t work one way for one individual or group but a different way for others. For example, God meets me, a fairly wealthy North American, in the same spirit as he meets a woman living in poverty in rural Ethiopia. God is present to each of us personally, but the ways of God are transcendent, transcending our different cultures and socioeconomic conditions. The implications of this are important because a gospel that only works for some is in no way good news. The message of the gospel must work for everyone or for no one.

 

My View of Time Matters

Time is neither our enemy nor our boss. I have personal agency and get to decide how I spend my time. I understand this may look different depending on one’s life circumstances, and I acknowledge it is easier for those whose basic needs are already met. But if I have such freedom, then it’s good to exercise it and not remain dominated by time. Time is a resource, not a boss.

 

Presence Is Primary

Presence is central to one’s overall personal health and connection to others. The present moment is where everything happens. We live our lives linearly, which means we can look back to the past or forward to the future along our timelines. This can sometimes lead to regret or worry. So I have learned to practice the present moment and engage God’s grace that is here and now. Presence is a beautiful and necessary spiritual practice, especially in our driven and distracted culture.

 

I wonder if you might have a few central paradigms bubbling under the surface. Try giving yourself time to write down what you consider to be important wisdom in your current season. It might even become something you want to share with others.

 

Reflection 

Set aside some time to journal your own current central paradigms.
What is important to you?
What has God deepened within you lately?
What truths and values are you basing your life on right now?
How does that affect what you share with others?

 

Photo by Sixteen Miles Out on Unsplash

ICDT #75: The Prime of Life

 

 

A few months ago a semi-prominent newscaster made a flippant comment about women over 50 not being in their prime. He gave examples from a google search that said women in their twenties and thirties are in their prime. Of course, being a woman over 50, I had some very strong feelings about this dismissive statement.

 

I wanted to say something via social media or email in real time about his comment, but decided not to enter the fray of reactive dialogue.

 

But time passed, and I forgot about the newscaster’s comment, until recently when I saw a movie in which a man spoke endearingly to a woman over 50, “You look like you’re in your prime to me.” A sweet and heartfelt statement at just the right time in their story.

 

So I thought about the word “prime” again. What does that even mean? I looked it up. This is where we’re headed…

UL Podcast #258: Taking Ownership of Your Voice (Jo Saxton, Ready to Rise)

 

Jo Saxton wrote her book, Ready to Rise to encourage women to step into their God-given calling to influence and leadership. She states, “If there was ever a time to uncover our potential and voices—it’s now. Now is the time to boldly and authentically represent God’s goodness in the world, living as channels for His transformative change and power.” 

 

She is an author, speaker, podcast host, and leadership coach. She has dedicated her career to growing leadership teams around the world and empowering women to find their purpose in their personal lives and in leadership.

 

Born in London to parents who immigrated from Nigeria, Jo credits her family’s unrelenting work ethic to the bold, tenacious approach she takes to sharing her wisdom on identity, influence, and living an authentic life. She is characterized by her effervescent honesty and warm approachability, leaving audiences with practical next steps in areas that are usually a bit ambiguous.

Retreat as a Leadership Strategy (Part 1)

Blog by Alan Fadling

We’re living at a moment in our lifetimes when Christian leaders have never been more in danger of fatigue, exhaustion, and even burnout. In January 2023 I reached my 40-year anniversary in vocational ministry, and the problem of burnout seems greater now than in all the years I’ve served in church and nonprofit settings.

 

But one particular spiritual practice has been both a preventative and a remedy for burnout in my own spiritual journey. It is the practice of personal spiritual retreat. I talk often about this practice, but here I’ll take a deeper dive into my experience of it.

 

Elton Trueblood is a writer whose wisdom has been especially important to me as I’ve cultivated this practice in my own leadership. Trueblood was a twentieth-century professor of philosophy and a respected Quaker spiritual writer. He was to spiritual formation in the twentieth century what Dallas Willard has been in the twenty-first. I have more than thirty of his books on my shelves, but the one that is perhaps my favorite was published in 1961, the year I was born.

 

The book is titled The Company of the Committed, which is a phrase Trueblood uses to describe the community of Christ followers. He saw them as the “committed” ones—and not just committed to lots of church gatherings and Christian activities, but faithfully following the way of Jesus in the whole of their lives.

 

The following quotation from that book illustrates the importance of taking time for personal spiritual retreat. (Note that I’ve lightly edited and re-paragraphed the text for present-day readability.)

 

“One rare but powerful item of discipline for the apprentice of Christ is the requirement that each one undertake a personal experience of solitude at least once a month. This is patterned consciously on the experience of Christ who periodically went alone, even at the price of temporary separation from the needs of others. This aloneness is not primarily about refined self-indulgence, but rather a consequent enrichment of one’s subsequent contribution.

 

“A person who is always available is not worth enough when they are available. Everyone engaged in public life will realize the extreme difficulty to getting away each month for a period of five or six hours, but the difficulty is not a good reason for rejecting the discipline. It is the men and women who find it hardest to get away who need the redemptive solitude most sorely.

 

“They need to be where they are free from the compulsion of chit-chat, from the slavery of the telephone, and even from the newspaper. A Christianity which understands itself will make ample provision for retreat houses in which such solitude is expected and protected.” (The Company of the Committed, pp. 43-44)

 

Now that is a lot to digest. Let me unpack four key phrases that I’ve found to be important. In a couple weeks I’ll unpack four more phrases in another post.

 

1. Monthly Rhythm

First, Trueblood talks about the discipline of undertaking a personal experience of solitude at least once a month.

 

This pattern of setting aside at least one day a month—whether spending half a day close to home or going away overnight somewhere for a 24-hour period—has been an important rhythm in my spiritual journey since 1990.

 

When I was beginning this practice as a young pastor, I would often set aside retreat space more than once a month. I was trying to establish a pattern. I was deeply thirsty for the encounter with God I experienced in retreat, and as a young leader I had been so deprived of that communion for so long.

 

Again, regularity is the invitation here. I don’t retreat because I’m drained and exhausted. In some ways I retreat to avoid becoming drained and exhausted. This is a practice not just for surviving or even for living more sustainably. It is a practice for thriving in our life with Christ.

 

2. Following the Pattern of Jesus

Trueblood then suggests that this practice is consciously patterned on the experience of Christ, who periodically went off alone, even at the price of temporary separation from the needs of others. This is where I get the idea for seeing the practice of spiritual retreat as a facet of our apprenticeship to Jesus. We are following a pattern from his own life. We are learning from the Master.

 

Trueblood acknowledges that by withdrawing to lonely places, Jesus made himself inaccessible for those times. By stepping away from our everyday responsibilities, we make ourselves unavailable to be of service to our work or to others. This is one reason we sometimes resist the practice. There is just too much to do. There are just too many needs. But this wasn’t how Jesus saw it.

 

I believe that Jesus withdrew from the crowd for the sake of the crowd. He needed to listen well to the voice of his Father. He needed to pour out the concerns and cares of his heart to his Father. He needed to remember that his Father was the one who named him: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased” (Luke 3:22).

 

I practice regular spiritual retreat in imitation of the pattern set by Jesus himself.

 

3. Retreating for the Sake of Others

According to Trueblood, “this aloneness is not primarily about refined self-indulgence, but rather a consequent enrichment of one’s subsequent contribution.” That’s a mouthful, isn’t it? Simply put, spiritual retreat is not a spa day for your soul. It isn’t self-indulgence. It isn’t a luxury. It isn’t meant to be an exercise in self-serving pleasure.

 

Instead, Trueblood says that this practice of retreat will enrich my service to others when I return from the solitary place with God. I’ve found that my most creative ideas, my most strategic insights, and even wisdom for moving forward in the face of challenging situations have come as an unexpected gift during times of solitude. Spiritual retreat is a place where I come with open and empty hands to receive whatever it is God would like to give me, both for my blessing and for the blessing of others.

 

I see this rhythm in the rule of life that Mother Teresa developed for her community:

 

“The Sisters shall spend one day in every week, one week in every month, one month in every year, one year in every six years in the motherhouse, where in contemplation and penance together with solitude she can gather in the spiritual strength, which she might have used up in the service of the poor. When these Sisters are at home, the others will take their place in the Mission field.” (Mother Teresa. Come Be My Light. New York: Doubleday, 2007, p. 345.)

 

This intensive rhythm of retreat supports the Missionaries of Charity in their intensive ministry to the poor and dying of Calcutta and other cities around the world. Through contemplation and penance in solitude, they replenish the spiritual strength they might have used up in the service of the poor.

 

In retreat we are cared for by God so that we might better care for others when we return.

 

4. Am I Too Available?

Trueblood warns us that “a person who is always available is not worth enough when they are available.” I found this line rather arresting the first time I read it. Maybe it sounds a bit harsh to you too. But this simply describes reality.

 

Every group with whom I’ve shared this line has responded with both “Ouch!” and “Yes!” If I’m always available, if I never withdraw to solitary places to enjoy the presence of God, I will find it harder and harder to be of good service to those God brings across my path.

 

God has not called any of us to be omnipresent. He is the only one who can always be everywhere. We cannot. But that does not keep some of us from trying! For example, it’s very tempting as Christian leaders to imagine that we are utterly indispensable. If we step away for a spiritual retreat, something terrible might happen in our absence.

 

Let me just suggest that God does not need us. But God delights to invite us into what he is already doing. Christ is the Great Shepherd of his sheep. He invites us to join him in this work for which he takes full responsibility. We need to be fully available to God just as surely as we need to be available to others. And the practice of spiritual retreat helps us cultivate this sort of holy attentiveness to God.

 

By the way, this insight about retreat as a strategic leadership rhythm is just one of many that we’ll be sharing with leaders who join a new training experience we’re calling PACE. It’s a 21-month certificate in leadership and soul care, and it’s the kind of training Gem and I have been offering in various forms for 30 years now.

 

PACE will help you grow as a leader who cares for souls—beginning with your own. We’ll help you move at the pace of grace, grow at the pace of transformation, and lead at the pace of Jesus.

 

Gem and I are thrilled at the opportunity to gather with a community of 20-25 leaders walking through this learning experience together. We hope you’ll visit our website to explore this possible next step in your own “working with God” journey.

 

For Reflection:

What has been your experience of spiritual retreat? How has this practice been meaningful to you? In what way are you drawn to experiment further with it?

 

Photo by Jessica Delp on Unsplash

UL Podcast #257: The Weary Leader's Guide to Burnout (Sean Nemecek)

 

Today, we’ll be addressing a critical issue for Christian leaders, especially over the last few years. We’re talking about burnout. In my own coaching work with leaders, individually and in groups, I’ve perhaps never seen the level of burnout that I’m witnessing these days. 

That’s why I’m glad to be talking with Sean Nemecek about his new book, The Weary Leader’s Guide to Burnout. You’re going to find this helpful, whether you find yourself at that level of depletion or not. 

Sean Nemecek is the West Michigan Regional Director for Pastor-in-Residence Ministries and a co-host of the Hope Renewed podcast. Sean is a third generation pastor. He served as a pastor for 18 years before joining PIR. Now, Sean coaches pastors through ministry issues, conflict, forced exit, transitions, and burnout. He also consults with churches and leadership on sabbatical planning, work culture, and pastoral support. His blog, The Pastor’s Soul (pastorsoul.com), teaches churches and pastors how to invest in the pastor’s joy for the good of the church. Sean has been married to Amy for over 25 years.

 

Connect with Sean on Instagram or LinkedIn