Alan Fadling's Blog, page 24

UL Podcast #267: Seven Reasons We Don't Rest Well

 

My first book, An Unhurried Life, which was published over ten years ago, had this as it’s subtitle: “Following Jesus' Rhythms of Work and Rest.” Knowing what I know now about our great cultural struggle to rest well, I might have changed that to: “Following Jesus’ Rhythms of Rest and Work. It’s not that rest is more important than work. It’s that real rest is so neglected these days. 

And many of us are feeling our need for real rest more today than perhaps we ever have. Getting better sleep, setting aside a day a week not measured by productivity or accomplishment, even guarding some weeks each year to really rest is something most of us still struggle to do. 

Today, I’ll share seven reasons we don’t rest well. They aren’t theoretical for me. They are reasons I’ve struggled with entering into the gift of rest that God has always been offering me. I hope some of these will ring true to you as well, and just might help you move through some of these resistances, misbeliefs and challenges to a place of deeper rest of body and soul with God. 

The Practice of Leadership Journaling

Blog by Alan Fadling

One of the fruitful practices over most of my adult life as a leader has been keeping a journal. I know not everyone writes in a spiritual journal. I don’t mean this as a guilt trip if this hasn’t been a practice for you thus far. I simply want to share the benefits I have experienced from it to either encourage you in your own present practice or invite you to experiment with it.

 

I’ve been keeping a personal journal since 1990. Currently it runs over 11,600 pages, contains about 7.8 million words, and covers 34 years of my life. I don’t offer those statistics as a way to impress. There are many pages in my journal that you wouldn’t find interesting at all. I share the numbers simply to illustrate how important this practice has been in my life and leadership.

 

A Digital Journal

I’ve been keeping a journal since I was a young pastor. I know that many people who keep a journal prefer to write their entries with a pen in a physical notebook. I see the value of that as well and have often used a paper journal. But most of the time, I journal on my laptop. Let me share how that story begins back in my late twenties. (Please bear with a brief lesson in bygone computer technology!)

 

When I was a student at Fuller Seminary in the late 1980s, I owned one of the first truly portable computers. It was the Radio Shack TRS-80 Model 100. It ran on 4 AA batteries and had a total storage of 24 bytes. Not gigabytes, kilobytes, or even megabytes. It had 24 bytes of memory.

 

I was one of the few students typing notes into a computer during class when everyone else was writing their notes on paper. The amount of memory in this computer was so small that I almost filled it typing notes for just one two-hour class. I would download that data onto a cassette tape and erase the computer’s memory so I had room to type notes for the next class.

 

When I got back to my office, it took a while to upload all that material to my IBM laptop computer for editing. But all of this led to my habit of capturing not only notes but also thoughts, insights, and prayers on a portable computer.

 

So, even though I do sometimes physically write with a pen in a blank journal, I still go back later and type it into my computer journal. I keep my journal in a running series of Word documents. Right now, I’m journaling in the 180th Word document in a series that goes back to January 1990.

 

One of the benefits of this practice is that I can go back and review a slice of my life from any season since 1990. I can do this by searching for key words and phrases throughout my journal documents or by opening a document from a specific era of my life. I’m able to see where I was, what I was learning, and what I sensed God was doing in my life. I’ve learned a lot about myself from this kind of life review.

 

Here are a few of the reasons I’ve continued the practice of keeping a spiritual journal as a Christian leader.

 

An Honest Journal

When it comes to the practice of journaling, the first thing to remember is that we do well to write with the assumption that no one will ever read it. The great challenge in the practice of journaling is being honest with myself and being honest with God. I’ve sometimes caught myself writing in my journal as if someone were reading over my shoulder or as if I were writing one of my book manuscripts. It doesn’t help when I write in my journal with an audience other than God in mind.

 

My journal really is a meeting place between God and me. I imagine every entry as a conversation with God or at least in the presence of God.

 

And there is nothing God does not already know about my past story and my present circumstances. He knows my shortcomings and offenses. He knows my secret hopes and dreams. He knows just how he has made me. There is nothing in me that isn’t perfectly safe to bring into the presence of this all-knowing God who also happens to faithfully love me. So I aim to journal as honestly as I can.

 

Having said all that, I admit that I have used edited excerpts from my personal journal in every book I’ve written. They have found their way into emails and podcast episodes. But this always comes later. I’ve tried never to write in my journal with the expectation that anyone else would ever read it.

 

So, for example, I often write my confessions in this journal. Again, I seek to be as honest as I can be with myself and with God. Whatever I bring into the light of God’s mercy and grace can be cleansed, healed, and restored. One of the occupational hazards of vocational Christian leadership is getting into the habit of living a functional role rather than living an actual life.

 

But I’ve said before that your own life being transformed by God is one of the greatest resources you have as a spiritual leader. Leadership techniques and strategies are servants to your actual life as a leader. Your influence is mainly a fruit of who you are becoming in God. So, the first benefit of leadership journaling is self-knowledge and living as honestly as we can.

 

Reflection

What is unique about leadership journaling as opposed to personal or prayer journaling?
What has the practice of journaling done to deepen your leadership influence?

 

 

ICDT #83: Traversing Rough Terrain

 

Are you now, or have you recently been, in a difficult situation? Most of us have at least one circumstance in our lives, at any given point, that isn’t going the way we had hoped. Today I’m sharing a personal story of climbing a mountain at high elevation. Together, we’ll look at it literally and metaphorically.

UL Podcast #266: What Jesus Intended (Todd Hunter)

 

It’s been nearly 45 years ago that I attended a jazz concert sponsored by a Sacramento area church. I was invited to it by my boss, Jim. I had been working for him for a year or two at the Magic Tunnel Car Wash. It was at that concert that Jim’s life, shaped as it was by his love for Jesus, came to make sense to me. When someone asked me why I’d come forward at the end of the concert, my answer was simply, “I want what Jim has.” 

 

It was that simple focus on Jesus in Jim’s life and in that little community that drew me into a new way of living and, eventually, into the vocational focus of my life. And refocusing on Jesus along my journey has been what has renewed me, even revived me, when my life began to feel heavy, or wayward, or empty. 

 

All of this is why I’m so happy to be talking with Todd Hunter, my bishop and my friend, about his new book What Jesus Intended: Finding True Faith in the Rubble of Bad Religion. Doesn’t that title speak to where so many of us find ourselves these days? 

 

The Rt. Rev. Dr. Todd Hunter is the founder of The Center for Formation, Justice and Peace. He is past president of Alpha USA, former national director for the Association of Vineyard Churches, and retired founding pastor of Holy Trinity Anglican Church in Costa Mesa, CA. He is the author of many books, including Christianity Beyond Belief: Following Jesus for the Sake of Others, Giving Church Another Chance,  Our Character at Work and Deep Peace. He writes a weekly newsletter, The Gospel of the Kingdom, that you can find on Substack. Todd also happens to be my bishop and my friend. 

The Problem with Discontent

Blog by Gem Fadling

You may remember that we now take the month of July each year as a mini sabbatical. I engage in no work, no work-related email, and no social media. It is a much-needed way of disengaging that allows body and soul to rest at a deeper level.

 

One benefit of such extended time is that I can get in touch with ideas, longings, dynamics, and desires that typically stay buried underneath the flurry of activity in my day-to-day life. I’d like to share with you one such “get in touch” moment from our most recent sabbatical.

 

Early in our trip, Alan and I, along with our youngest son, had the chance to raft on the Rogue River in Oregon. It was such a perfect and beautiful day. Bright sun, clear skies, blue water, and just enough rapids to feel like an exhilarating ride. Now, mind you, the scale of the rapids was only at levels 1 and 2, but we flowed along nicely on that July day thanks to the expert rowing of my husband and son.

 

And right there amid the laughter and enjoyment, I had a brief insight as I gazed out over the moving water and at the trees passing by. Temperamentally, I struggle with an inner dynamic that hums along under the surface most of the time. I call it “the search for the secret sauce.” It has to do with the fact that I often feel as though my experiences aren’t shiny enough. Like there is another level of satisfaction or enjoyment that is just out of reach.

 

This is usually a subconscious sensation, and I don’t notice it all the time. Again, it’s like a low hum. But in that moment on the raft, I noticed it surfacing. That sensation arose of “I need more sauce on this” and “This needs to be just a little more exciting.”

 

I hope you’re following me here. There isn’t anything wrong with wanting to really enjoy what you’re doing. But I’m talking about my insides, in that place where discontent and contentedness meet up. And I’m on an intentional journey of becoming more content.

 

I sensed God inviting me to move from that reaching and craving place to a more relaxed posture--one of accepting the present moment. Not to strive for something more to occur but simply to receive the moment as it is.

 

If you’ve read my book Hold That Thought, this is the same dynamic that arose when I was staring out over the city of Florence, Italy. And God met me then as well. The Spirit is so gracious to continue to meet me in my deepest places of need.

 

And so, there on the raft in the sun, I allowed myself to fall into the present moment just as it was. Every time I do that, an immediate peace arises. I’m not battling anything or reaching for something or trying to squeeze out the last drop. I move into receiving mode with immense gratitude and a connection to the moment.

 

This is so much more relaxing and enjoyable than pushing for some unknown and unattainable “extra.” It is taking me a long time to make my way in this regard, but I’m glad to keep trying.

 

A couple of weeks later, Alan shared with me from his reading in Acts 10, the story of Peter visiting Cornelius’s home, which comes right after Peter saw the vision of a sheet filled with all sorts of animals. While Peter was teaching, the Holy Spirit came upon Cornelius and all those in his household.

 

Verses 34-35 had struck Alan, and they also stood out to me as he shared them:

Then Peter began to speak: “I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts from every nation the one who fears him and does what is right.”

 

Today I won’t go into the full explanation about the meaning of this passage. I simply want to highlight one phrase: “I now realize how true it is that…” 

 

Isn’t that a beautiful and gracious line?

“I now realize how true it is that…” 

 

Alan and I were talking at breakfast that day, and together we decided that this is a great journal prompt to engage on a regular basis. Also, we both desire to realize what is actually true. In Peter’s case, it was about God not showing favoritism but accepting all those who come to him.

 

In my case, it could be any number of things. I decided to try out this phrase on my unhelpful need for that extra sauce on things.

 

Instead of thinking “I don’t have enough secret sauce on this” or “I should be doing something else or something more,” I tried beginning with the phrase, “I now realize how true it is that…”

 

So here we go…

 

I now realize how true it is that, as I age and mature, God meets with me in more quiet ways, and I actually enjoy it.
I now realize how true it is that God meets with me throughout the day in so many subtle ways, and this is good.
I now realize how true it is that there is a oneness that is growing--that in him I live and move and have my being. It’s all one thing. I like this too.
I now realize how true it is that I don’t require a secret sauce on everything. I can receive people and circumstances as they are. I don’t need to coerce or force or push. This is a relief.

 

This phrase brings out contentment in me. “I now realize how true it is that…” carries with it the presupposition of what is real. And contentment is found in the now and in the real. The Kingdom of God is Reality with a capital R. Grace and contentment are found now.

 

The formal definition of discontent is “a restless longing for better circumstances.” I do not want this to describe my heart. Do you want it to describe yours? A restless longing sounds like a wandering wayfarer with no direction. That is not how I want to live my life.

 

I want to live and love the life I have been given. I want to receive each day that is offered to me with gratitude. I want to be in the flow of the Kingdom. In God I live and move and have my being. This is real. This is now. And I can find contentment here.

 

Reflection 

Pray, journal or ponder: Do you ever find yourself searching for a little “extra sauce” on your life?
What would it look like to drop into the present and be open to contentment?

 

Give yourself some space to try on “I now realize how true it is that…” – by journaling a way you could complete that phrase.

 

Photo by Gordon Jaeger on Unsplash

UL Podcast #265: Cultivating a Good REST Ethic

 

The theme of today’s episode has been fermenting in my thinking and in my rhythm of life for a while now. In fact, I’ll be sharing four episodes this season about rest. Today, I’m going to share some ideas about how exactly might we cultivate a good rest ethic. It’s something with which we’re much less familiar as a culture than a good “work ethic,” but it’s just as important.

Vacare Deo: Making Space for God in Our Lives

Blog by Alan Fadling

At Unhurried Living, we often talk about the practice of making uncluttered space and unhurried time in the rhythm of our live to enjoy the presence of God. A Latin phrase some have used to label that practice is vacare Deo. This Latin phrase can be difficult to translate well into English. The verb vacare can mean “be empty,” “be free from or unoccupied,” or “be idle or vacant.” To some that may imply a tone of irresponsible leisure. But vacare Deo simply means...giving God the gift of my full attention when so often I give him only a small percentage of my attention at any given moment.

 

The idea of vacare Deo may be what we hear in Psalm 46:10: “Be still [vacare] and know that I am God [Deo].”

 

In the Rule of Benedict, vacare appears six times in chapter 48 as part of a discussion about “being free” or “having leisure” for holy reading.     There are certain ways of being present and attentive to God that are best cultivated in a place of solitary quiet. The Rule of Benedict provides plenty of space in the monks’ schedules for holy leisure.

 

Benedict arranged a daily schedule for his communities that provided several hours of solitary quiet time. So the idea here is to open up moments each day, space each week, and perhaps a day each month to simply be available to sense God’s presence, discern God’s guidance, and hear God’s voice—in scripture, in nature, in our own hearts and minds. It is a mode of receptivity rather than a mode of initiative or intense activity.

 

Hurried or Unhurried Retreats?

I’ve said before that, as a pastor, I’ve led a lot of getaways that I called retreats and some of those retreats seemed more hurried than unhurried. I now think that the word “retreat” should be reserved for a particular time away that is more focused. Let me highlight the differences between these two ways of designing a retreat.

 

An unhurried retreat makes space for attendees to engage directly with God, whether in solitude or community. A hurried retreat tends to focus more on attendees as an audience listening to a speaker.

 

An unhurried retreat is scheduled with plenty of open space for reflection, interaction, prayer, and listening. A hurried retreat is often scheduled down to the minute with little or no time for such practices.

 

An unhurried retreat is often designed in a way that learning happens in encounter with God, with others, and even with oneself. There is time for discovery, reflection, and discussion. A hurried retreat tends to focus more on information delivery, most often through presentations by content experts.

 

An unhurried retreat tends to be programmatically simple, personal, and focused on “being with God.” A hurried retreat can be more personality focused with an entertaining, engaging speaker who offers interesting presentations full of good information.

 

An unhurried retreat tends to arrange for individual housing that allows space for solitude and reflection. A hurried retreat is more likely to provide communal housing that doesn’t allow for time alone.

 

An unhurried retreat has a smaller ideal group size (usually fewer than 25 retreatants) than a hurried retreat does.

 

An unhurried retreat arranges time for participants to reflect and to share with others through group interaction and even honest disclosure. Hurried retreats tend to expect that participants will mainly sit and listen to someone else speak.

 

An unhurried retreat arranges for enough teaching to be digestible. A hurried retreat tends to cram in more teaching than can be absorbed within the timeframe of the retreat.

 

An unhurried retreat provides intentional space within the schedule for personal encounter with God. A hurried retreat may talk about the importance of spiritual practices without providing space to actually engage in them.

 

An unhurried retreat schedule has a built-in openness for divine surprises. A hurried retreat schedule usually maps out in advance what will happen.

 

Looking back over retreats I’ve attended or led, how did I know whether a retreat was more hurried or unhurried? Here are a few questions that have helped me: 

Was I more tired after the event than I was coming into it?
Was I more excited about the speaker and material, or more excited about the presence of God-with-me? Who or what did I talk about after the retreat?
Was I encouraged to continue my “long obedience in the same direction,” or was I urged to get involved in the “latest thing”?

 

What I’ve called a “hurried retreat” might also be called a conference, and there is a place for such events. But a conference has a different purpose than a retreat.

 

Let me close with a few thoughts about Jesus’s own practice of retreat.

 

Jesus and Retreats

The Gospel of Luke gives us the best view of the rhythm of retreat Jesus practiced. Luke shows that Jesus would spend time in retreat before critical moments in his ministry.

 

The Spirit leads Jesus into the solitude of the wilderness as his ministry begins (4:1-14).
Jesus begins a day in solitude as he prepares to embark on a preaching tour of synagogues throughout Judea (4:42-44).
Jesus spends the night on a mountaintop in prayer prior to choosing his twelve disciples (6:12-16).
The disciples witness Jesus’s rhythm of regular prayer and ask him to teach them to pray (11:1-4).
Jesus retreats regularly (“as usual”) to the Mount of Olives and the Garden of Gethsemane to pray during his last week (22:39-46).

 

The idea of retreat is something Jesus models. I believe it would be good if our vision of discipleship to Jesus included following this same rhythm of life as his apprentices. Discipleship is not only about proclaiming the words of Jesus or doing the works of Jesus but also following the way of Jesus.

 

Alan Simpson, an Anglican retreat director from about a century ago, unpacks this sense of Jesus as our model for retreat:

 

“The Gospels do not declare to us only the outward life of going about doing good. They show us, at least in glimpses, the inner life which lay behind all that in Jesus Christ has commanded the admiration of men. We see as part of this background forty days of Retreat before the ministry begins. When it has begun, at the very times when the opportunities of the kingdom were most abundant, when crowds were coming from the towns and villages demanding His teaching, and bringing their sick to be healed, we see Him deeming it neither a waste of time, nor a turning aside from duty, to go into the wilderness, or up into the mountain, simply to be alone with God the Father.” (Alan Simpson, The Principles and Practice of Retreat [London: A. W. Mowbray, 1927], pp. 8-9.)

 

Withdrawing to be alone and quiet with the Father was a critical rhythm in the life and work of Jesus. Retreat provides us an opportunity to follow his way of life and leadership.

 

I’ve come to believe, especially in our hurried times and culture, that the strategic practice of spiritual retreat, both alone and in community, may be one of the most important practices for the health of our souls and the vitality of our work with God.

 

For Reflection:

When you think about retreats you’ve attended (or even led), in what ways were they “hurried” and in what ways were they “unhurried”?
When would you like to next make time in your schedule to enjoy some unhurried time with God?

 

Photo by Nicole Geri on Unsplash

UL Podcast #264: Faith Like A Child (Lacy Finn Borgo)

 

I’ve often been captured by a little line in the gospels. The disciples ask a question that has been burning in their hearts and minds, “Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” We signs of competition among the disciples, each wanting to prove himself the most faithful or the most gifted. They want to know how they can best get to the top in the eyes of Jesus. 

I don’t think they’re expecting the answer Jesus gives. He says, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven (Mt 18:3).” Become like little children. What does that look like? How does that work? Why would little children be the greatest in the kingdom of God. 

 To help us with that question and others like, my guest today is Lacy Finn Borgo, and we’ll be talking about her latest book, Faith Like a Child: Embracing Our Lives as Children of God. I found our conversation personally helpful, and I’m hopeful you will, too. 

ICDT #82: 4 Ways to Connect Soulfully to God

 

In preparation for co-leading a pilgrimage for women to Italy last month, I spent some time getting to know St. Catherine of Siena and St. Clare of Assisi. These two female saints were quite formidable in their passion and love for God—and what that meant for their own souls and those around them.

 

In Ilia Delio’s book, Clare of Assisi, I found a snippet Clare wrote in a letter to her sister, Agnes.

 

“O most noble Queen,

gaze upon [him].

consider [him].

contemplate [him].

as you desire to imitate [him].”

 

Four words leapt off the page:

 

Gaze
Consider
Contemplate
Imitate

 

These four dynamics are compelling invitations in my relationship with God. And, if followed, could lead to “much fruit that lasts” spoken of in John 15.

A Factory Reset for Your Soul

Blog by Gem Fadling

Awhile back I had a conversation with a group of people about spiritual practices and the need for refreshment and refilling. (As you can imagine, I talk about this a lot.) One of the people commented that this was all fine and good, but what about REAL life?

 

I’ve heard this remark many times, and I typically leave it alone. But more recently, whether I’m talking with an individual or a small group,  I’ve begun to pause the conversation to take a closer look at what “real” means.

 

I gently asked, “What is real?” And then I answered it myself. Our assumption is that real is what we experience in our everyday life as it is informed by our culture and beliefs. And yes, in a way that is real. I am living a real life with actual circumstances occurring around me every day.

 

But ultimately, as followers of Jesus, what is real takes on a whole new meaning. Reality with a capital R is determined by the Kingdom of God. The upside-down way of Jesus looks more like loving the unlovable, moving into solitude and prayer amidst the thronging crowds, healing the untouchables, and washing feet like a servant. This is a different and, I would argue, more central reality than the one peddled by today’s culture.

 

For the purposes of this discussion about reality, let’s linger on the kingdom practice of Jesus in which he “often withdrew to lonely places and prayed” (Luke 5:16).

 

Here at Unhurried Living, we call this Unhurried Time with God. It might be better known as silence and solitude. Whatever you call it, making space for time like this is one of the most real things you will ever do. It is when you get to remember who you are. You get to lay down everything that ensnares or distracts you and simply be a child of God, holy and dearly loved.

 

Recently, I was sharing this idea with someone and heard myself using the phrase “factory settings for your soul.” I described it as a chance to reset and be cleared of all that had been building up inside me.

 

I then researched the meaning of “factory reset” in connection with computers. Here’s a quote from Joe Fedewa in his simple and informative post:

 

“A factory reset erases all user data, files, and settings from a device….The device is restored back to its “factory default” state so it can be set up again from scratch.”

 

I’ll try not to stretch this metaphor too far, but let’s look at this in terms of soul care.

 

Unhurried Time with God might erase all internal user data, files, and settings that build up over the course of any given month. I am restored back to my true self within the Kingdom of God so I can be set up from scratch again.

 

Of course, we don’t manage what happens to us as we set aside this kind of time. We simply make ourselves available to God in a listening posture. But even the simplicity of this can undo some of the “settings” that get added on in our day to day lives.

 

We are in the Kingdom of God. The Kingdom of God is within us. Returning us to factory settings is to reset back to Reality with a capital R. Remember the upside-down ways of Jesus? This is our Reality.

 

What is real is that we are chosen and dearly loved. What is real is that we can make time for what matters when it comes to God, relationships, and work. We have agency and we get to choose how to spend our time.

 

God is not trying to overwhelm us. Jesus says his yoke is easy and his burden is light. My real life should not feel like an insurmountable to-do list that I never get a handle on. And if it is, it might be good to reassess healthy boundaries and what I allow onto my calendar.

 

I know that now and then we all go through seasons in which circumstances are beyond our control. But that’s not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about the assumptions we make about our everyday lives and what we consider to be real.

 

A factory reset for the soul is a helpful metaphor. Like any metaphor, it breaks down if you push it too far. But I still think the idea of returning home to my original state is a good one.

 

Making time to pull away from everything and everyone, even for just one hour, is greatly beneficial. Alone time in a receptive posture with God is one of the best ways to lay aside all the facades, control issues and other dynamics and actually rest.

 

I don’t have to be anything except a loved child of God, and I don’t have to do anything to earn that love. This is the ultimate reality. I return to my factory default as a beloved daughter. A beautiful reality.

 

Reflection 

What would returning to factory settings look like for you?
Take a moment to discern and then schedule time on your calendar for Unhurried Time with God. Yes, it is that practical. Without a plan, it surely won’t happen.
Make it a priority to get in touch with Reality with a capital R.