Alan Fadling's Blog, page 25

UL Podcast #263: The Practice of Leadership Journaling

 

Journaling is not for everyone. But it is a proven way to process thoughts and emotions.

In this episode Alan shares about his long-standing practice of journaling as a leader. He knows not everyone keeps a spiritual journal. This episode is not meant to be a guilt trip if this hasn’t been a practice for you so far. He simply wants to share the benefits of the practice in his own experience to either encourage you in your own present practice, or to invite you to experiment with it.  

He's been keeping a personal journal since 1990. Presently, as he recorded this episode, it runs over 11,500 pages, contains more than 7.7 million words, and covers 34 years of his life. He doesn’t offer those statistics as an attempt to impress. There are many pages in his journal that you wouldn’t find interesting at all. He shares this to illustrate how important this practice has been in his own life and leadership.  

The Power of Spiritual Retreat

Blog by Alan Fadling

During our July sabbatical this year, Gem and I made some significant space for personal retreat that we feel bringing fresh energy, creativity, and vision in the work to which we’ve now returned. We enjoyed three days at a retreat house not far from Lassen Volcanic National Park in the northeast corner of California. We then spent three days at a Trappist monastery in that same area. During those days, God met with us in that quiet stillness.

 

I wonder what your own experience of retreat has been like. When I think of my years as a young Christian, I remember participating in and then leading many youth and young adult retreats in the church. They were exciting and fun, but I would have to admit those retreats were more hurried than unhurried.

 

For example, it was rare for there to be much open space or unhurried time for individual or communal prayer. There was usually much more time given for exciting talks, fun games and activities, and a wide range of highly charged emotions. 

 

I have many good memories from those experiences. I’ve simply come to believe that such an approach often misses the gift of uncluttered space and unhurried time with God that could be included as part of—could even be made the heart of—retreat time. I’m looking forward to sharing more about this today.

 

Raising Up Spiritual Leaders

One powerful fruit of spiritual retreat is the raising up of spiritual leaders. I see this in stories throughout scripture. Think of how Isaiah, Jeremiah and the apostle Paul came to be servant leaders in God’s kingdom. Each of them had a powerful, personal encounter with God. This didn’t happen on a formal retreat, but it did happen during a significant moment alone with God.

 

I’ve also witnessed this in my ministry experience. I’ve seen so many people I’ve pastored in churches or who have come to a retreat I’ve led experience an encounter with God that called them into spiritual leadership, reaffirmed their calling to leadership, or refreshed their sense of life and work as a collaboration with God.

 

Spiritual leadership is not a technique we learn. It’s not a life hack. It is a fruit of communion with God. Women and men hear the voice of God inviting them to draw closer and to follow. As they respond with greater fidelity, they in turn lead others who are also hungry to walk in the ways of God.

 

Over the years, the practice of spiritual retreat has proven to be among the most powerful ways to help others enter more fully into their God-given callings. Men and women grow in their confidence in discerning God’s presence and hearing God’s voice guiding their lives. They grow in wisdom, insight, and vision for how to cooperate with the purposes of God in their unique place in the world.

 

The Evidence of Encounter

 Elton Trueblood once said that:

 “The ultimate thing which anyone can say about the Living God is ‘I have encountered Him: He has reached me; He stood at my door and knocked, and, when I opened the door, He came in and communed with me.’ The person who provides such a witness could be wrong; he could be lying; but his is the ultimate evidence.” (The Company of the Committed, p. 50)

 

We need a growing community of women and men who have truly encountered God in Christ, have heard God’s voice, and are learning to follow God’s ways. It’s not enough to merely know the scriptures well. We must learn to let the scriptures bring us into the presence of God and lead us into communion with God.

 

There is great power in personal testimony. This involves more than testifying about our initial encounter of faith as a way to encourage others to begin trusting in Jesus. It also includes testimony of an ongoing and deepening communion with God that is growing in our lives. We need women and men who can say with confidence, “The Lord is my shepherd.” There is great power in sharing the reality of our own interactive, cooperative relationship with God in Christ.

 

How to Understand Retreats

Over the years, I’ve attended or led hundreds of retreats: youth retreats, couples retreats, men’s retreats, leadership retreats, strategic planning retreats, spiritual retreats. As I reflect on my experience, I realize that there are differing ideas about what a retreat should be.

 

Some envision retreat as an escape from reality that should only be undertaken as a last resort. Others see retreat as a special, extended church service where participants mostly sit and enjoy great music and teaching by gifted speakers.

 

At Unhurried Living, we understand retreat as a strategic practice in our spiritual lives and our leadership engagement. I’ve experienced many retreats that were just a bit too hurried to make space for solitude, silence, and prayer. It might help here to explain the difference between what I think of as a “hurried retreat” and an “unhurried retreat.”

 

Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not saying that there is never a place for time away that is focused more on teaching or activities. I simply suggest calling such a retreat a conference to differentiate it. I prefer to reserve the word retreat for a time away that focuses more on personal and communal encounter with God rather than hearing someone talk about God.

 

One of the great invitations of a retreat, especially for leaders, is the opportunity to rest.

 

I’m not just talking about the kind of rest you collapse into after overworking for too long. That’s more often about escape than refreshment. I’m talking about the kind of rest that is positive and actually precedes our work.

 

I’ve said that rest is the good soil in which good work grows. That’s quite a countercultural idea today. We tend to envision work coming first and rest being an afterthought, a necessary weakness, or even a reward to good work accomplished.

 

But consider David’s prayer in Psalm 62. David begins by reminding himself that “truly my soul finds rest in God alone (v. 1).” A few lines later, he urges himself, “Yes, my soul, find rest in God (v. 5).” This is more than just a nap, a break, or a vacation. This kind of rest runs deeper and bears greater fruit.

 

Escaping Reality or Embracing Reality?

E. Glenn Hinson, a Baptist seminary professor who learned so much about retreat from Thomas Merton in the 1960s, writes:

 “The word retreat derives from the Latin retrahere, which means ‘to draw back.’ Retreat should not be seen as a ‘flight from the world’ pronouncing a not very polite curse on it, as some Christians have occasionally seen it. Not even the monastic retreat, in its true form, intended that. Quite to the contrary, the early monks sought solitude for the same reason Jesus did—to get in touch with One who brought the world into being and who directs the world toward some meaningful end.” (E. Glenn Hinson, Spiritual Preparation for Christian Leadership [Nashville: Upper Room Books, 1999], p. 150.)

 

According to this understanding, retreat is not an escape from the world so much as an intentional engagement with the God who is with us. It is a positive practice rather than a negative one. It’s not defined primarily by what or who is left behind but by Who is encountered.

 

Thomas Green, a wonderful spiritual director in the Ignatian tradition, says this about a good retreat:

 “I always suggest that three guidelines for a good retreat are…ESP: to eat well, to sleep well, and to pray the rest of the time. This means that I make it a real vacation. I don’t just give the Lord part of my time and part of myself; rather I seek, in the classic monastic phrase, to vacare Deo, to be totally free for the Lord.” (Thomas H. Green, SJ, A Vacation With the Lord [Notre Dame, IN: Ave Maria Press, 1986], p. 21.)

 

Eat well.

Sleep well.

Pray well.

The first two are there in service of the third. And Green uses the word “vacation” in a way few of us ever would. It’s a vacation with the Lord more than a vacation from something.

 

These are just a few of the transforming gifts God gives in the context of spiritual retreat.

 

For Reflection:

What is one dynamic of spiritual retreat that I mentioned above to which you feel especially drawn? How might you take a step toward receiving that gift from God in your own experience?

 

Photo by Caleb Jack on Unsplash

UL Podcast #262: Made for People (Justin Whitmel Earley)

One of the outcomes of our experience of the Covid-19 pandemic has been to both highlight and to amplify our problem with loneliness and isolation as a culture. That’s why I’m glad to be talking with Justin Whitmel Earley about his new book, Made for People: Why We Drift into Loneliness and How to Fight for a Life of Friendship. 

Justin describes our interactions with others as either a  "snack" or a "meal", and goes on to state "our fullest spirituality is only possible with others." This is a rich conversation you will enjoy.

Justin Whitmel Earley is a lawyer, author and speaker from Richmond, VA. He graduated from the University of Virginia with a degree in English Literature before spending four years in Shanghai, China, as a missionary. Justin got his law degree from the Georgetown University Law Center and he now runs his own business law practice in Richmond, Virginia at Earley Legal Group.

 

In addition to Made for People, Justin is the author of The Common Rule and Habits of the Household. In episodes 72 and 222, I interviewed Justin about these two books. He frequently speaks at businesses and legal events on habits, technology and mental health; and at churches and conferences on habits, spiritual formation and parenting. He is married to Lauren and has four sons – Whit, Asher, Coulter and Shep.

ICDT #81: Pilgrimage as a Lifestyle

 

The day this episode releases, I will be in Italy with 15 wonderful women. We will be on a pilgrimage. 

 

People have been engaging pilgrimage for centuries. Yes, it is a physical journey but it's also an inward exploration of the soul. Pilgrimage is a chance to connect with your inner life, your deepest held beliefs, and your relationship with God in a focused and intentional way.

 

So how can you embrace the idea of pilgrimage as an element of your lifestyle?

Enjoying the Unexpected

Blog by Gem Fadling

Growing up on my family’s small six-acre farm in Washington was wonderful. I enjoyed many hours and days of leisure. This was back in the days before the information age. We had one phone connected to a wall and five channels on the TV (and I was the remote control). I had a pogo stick, a skateboard, a bike, and a horse. What else could a person need?

 

One of my favorite memories is of rolling down a small hill in our front yard. It was probably only a four-foot incline, but for a young child like me it was a delight. I spent hours lying in the grass, watching butterflies and bees, looking up at tall pine branches hanging overhead, or simply watching the sky.

 

I remember being enamored by dandelions and purple clover. The childlike thrill of blowing on a fluffy, white dandelion and watching the floating pappi. The delight of enjoying the sweetness of a tiny purple blossom. Both of these flowers were weeds, but I didn’t know that, and I didn’t care. I thought they were beautiful.

 

As this memory floated through my mind recently, a thought emerged: What makes a dandelion any less desirable than a tulip? Who decides what qualifies as a flower and what constitutes a weed? I’m sure the gardeners among you know the difference and could explain it to me quite plainly.

 

But bear with me, the non-gardener semi-philosopher, for just a moment.

 

Like the pappi in the wind, let’s float the question in reference to the garden of our souls: How will you decide what is a weed and what is a flower in your own life?

 

It’s all about our perspective, the choices we make. Every flower (or weed) is beautiful in its own way. And if one kind of flower happens to pop up where we didn’t plant it, is it possible that it’s a gift instead of a nuisance?

 

For example, interruptions might be considered the weeds of our lives. But Henri Nouwen, in his book Reaching Out, says this about interruptions:

 

“What if our interruptions are in fact our opportunities, if they are challenges to an inner response by which growth takes place and through which we come to the fullness of being?” 

 

Nouwen goes so far as to say that interruptions (weeds) might actually lead to a fullness of being.

 

I think this might be about our move to judge too quickly what crosses our path. It’s easy to belittle or cast aspersions on an experience when it just might be something beautiful or even necessary.

 

Of course, it’s easier to admire a rose in full bloom than a small yellow flower that we trample underfoot. There are no dandelion gardens to rival the likes of the Huntington Library Rose Garden in spring.

 

But what about the little way of love? What if we could find childlike delight in the small things and even the interruptions of our lives.

 

Maybe the invitation is to not name something a nuisance prematurely. What if we could see something beautiful and essential within it? This might allow us to accept more encounters as gifts to be received rather than intrusions to muddle through.

 

So, I’ll ask it again: How will you decide what is a weed and what is a flower in your own life? Something to ponder as you move into your week.

 

Reflection 

What is one current weed situation in your life right now? See if you can find any redeeming aspects within it that might lead to more fullness of being.
What would it look like to embrace this dynamic with delight, enjoying its smallness?
Ask God to show you how to change your perspective on the weeds in your life.

UL Podcast #261: Is Your Retreat Hurried?

 

During our July sabbatical this year, Gem and I made some significant space for personal retreat that we’ve felt bringing fresh energy, creativity, and vision to the work to which we’ve now returned. We enjoyed three days at a retreat house not far from Lassen Volcanic National Park in the northeast corner of California. We then spent three days at a Trappist monastery not far from the first retreat center. In those days, God met with us in that quiet stillness. 

 

I wonder what your own experience of retreat has been. When I think of my years as a young Christian, I remember participating in and then leading a whole lot of youth and young adult retreats in the church. They were exciting and fun. But I would have to say those retreats were more hurried than unhurried. 

 

I’ve simply come to believe that this approach to retreats often misses the gift of uncluttered space and unhurried time with God that could be included, maybe even made the heart of retreat time like this. I’m looking forward to sharing more about this today. 

A Leadership Retreat for Busy Leaders

Blog by Alan Fadling

In 2016, our first year as Unhurried Living, I enjoyed the opportunity to train leaders in the Dominican Republic, Nigeria, Kenya, Rwanda, India, and Russia on four different trips. I remember each of those gatherings with gratitude, but the day with pastors and business leaders in Nairobi, Kenya, stands out to me as I reflect on that year. 

 

After a week spent with leaders in Nigeria, I overnighted in Nairobi on my way to spend a week with leaders in Rwanda. A friend had arranged for me to lead a day retreat for a group of pastors of mostly large churches. We met at a bustling hotel in the center of town. They didn’t know me, but they were gracious enough to attend the Unhurried Leadership training day I was leading. 

 

As usual, my main plan was to teach a bit, give the leaders some time in solitary reflection, and then regather to debrief about our time alone with God. 

 

As we began, I could tell immediately that this was one harried group of leaders. They were distracted. Many of them received phone calls while I was teaching, answering them at their tables before getting up and walking out of the room. I didn’t feel I had anyone’s attention. 

 

I could have been discouraged. I could have given up and “phoned it in.” I had raised funding so that I could give this day as a gift to these leaders. There had been no cost for them to attend. But I’ve been leading days like this for decades, and I had a deep hope and confidence that God’s Spirit would do something good and generous among us if I stuck to my intention. 

 

Little by little, the group began to settle into the day. By the time we broke for lunch, they had begun to open up and engage a bit. 

 

After lunch, I prepared them for 20 minutes of time alone with God. There were many other groups at the hotel, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. And my friend who had arranged this opportunity suggested that 20 minutes would probably be a stretch for them.

 

I sent them out with a simple instruction. I suggested they take to heart the simple prayer of the child Samuel: “Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.” I suggested that when they found themselves distracted, they just offer that experience to God and ask for the Spirit’s help to remain focused and attentive. 

 

While the pastors were scattered around the grounds, meeting with God in solitude, I prayed in faith they would have the capacity to hear the voice of God and experience a meaningful encounter with the Living God they served. 

 

I wish you could have witnessed that group of pastors when they returned from those 20 minutes. The group had begun the day distracted, guarded, and rather formal, but now they were laughing together, open, and lighthearted, and to me they seemed full of holy energy. 

 

I’ve had experiences like that more times than I can count with leaders all over the world. The main thing that happens in a retreat like this—whether it lasts 20 minutes or a few days—is that God meets with his people. Too many times in my early ministry, I talked about how important prayer is. I soon learned that the best gift I can give leaders is time and an opportunity to encounter God in solitude, silence, and prayer. 

 

The Living God is a very good shepherd. Making space and time for Christian leaders to enjoy the unhurried presence of God has been the most fruitful thing I do in ministry. It often seems the least urgent, yet it is the most important thing in our work as Christian leaders.

 

For Reflection: 

How might God be inviting you deeper into the practice of personal retreat, whether that’s already a rhythm for you or it’s a newer idea? 

 

 

Photo by Samuel Martins on Unsplash

UL Podcast #260: The Great Quest (Os Guinness)

 

I’m so please to share the conversation I had with Os Guinness about his book The Great Quest, where we will discuss the relationship between living an examined life and a finding a sense of joyful or hopeful meaning in life. This book is a timely and important message as many are struggling to find meaning deep enough to sustain us. Os has written a very helpful guide to taking this journey to deeper purpose. 

 

Os Guinness has written or edited more than thirty books, including The Call, Time for Truth, Unspeakable, A Free People’s Suicide, The Global Public Square, Last Call for Liberty, Carpe Diem Redeemed, and The Magna Carta of Humanity. 

 

Os has spoken at many of the world’s major universities, and spoken widely to political and business conferences across the world. He lives with his wife Jenny in the Washington DC area.

ICDT #80: The Problem with Discontent

 

You may have heard me announce here that we now take the month of July each year as a mini sabbatical. I engage no work, no work-related email, and no social media. It is a much-needed way of disengaging that allows body and soul to rest at a deeper level. 

 

One benefit of extended time like that is that I can get in touch with ideas, longings, dynamics and desires that typically stay buried underneath the flurry of activity in my day-to-day life. I’d like to share with you one such “get-in-touch” moment from my time away.

 

Let's dig in to the problem with discontent.

Why Wait?

Blog by Alan Fadling

There are many words of command in Scripture that stir and inspire Christian leaders. We love words that invite us to action—words like “go,” “teach,” and “work.” Such language usually feels like an easy fit for many Christian leaders.

 

But there is at least one word of command in Scripture that causes many Christian leaders no small level of anxiety. David uses this word in the closing lines of one of his psalms:

 

I remain confident of this:

I will see the goodness of the LORD

in the land of the living.

Wait for the LORD;

be strong and take heart

and wait for the LORD.

(Psalm 27:13-14)

 

I’m sure you noticed the word I’m talking about: “wait.” Christian leaders often feel that the main thing they should be doing is leading. This is, of course, a key activity for leaders. But the best kind of leading is the fruit of following. The best kind of leading grows in the soil of waiting.

 

David, in his waiting posture, talks about his enduring confidence. It isn’t a confidence rooted in his own self-assurance but in God’s measureless faithfulness. As he waits, he remembers.

 

He has witnessed the goodness of the Lord so many times along the way that he has come to an abiding confidence in that goodness. Our lives are soaked in the goodness of God—even when situations around us seem awful. Even when we feel like we just need to do something.

 

A deep reality of good undergirds everything, and waiting on God grants us the ability to see it. As David says, we find strength. We grow in holy patience, that most unhurried of virtues, to wait until the vision of God’s goodness becomes clearer. We “take heart.”

 

At key moments God very well might be urging us, “Don’t just do something. Stand there!”

 

For Reflection

In what situation right now might God be inviting you to wait?
In what ways have you been tempted to “just do something” rather than wait?
What good fruit might develop in you and through your leadership if you take God up on his invitation?

 

Photo by Sid Leigh on Unsplash