Alan Fadling's Blog, page 34

UL Podcast #237: A Year of Slowing Down: An Origin Story

 

In today’s and next Monday’s episode, I’ll be sharing more about my latest book with InterVarsity Press, A Year of Slowing Down: Daily Devotions for Unhurried Living.  A Year of Slowing Down is designed to help you take the formational journey my first two books, An Unhurried Life and An Unhurried Leader, describe. 

These devotionals had their beginnings in my personal journal. I’ve been practicing the discipline of spiritual journaling regularly since my twenties. Since then, I’ve journaled about 11,500 pages and 7.6 million words over thirty-some years. 

At its simplest, my journal is a place where I pray. I wrestle with unhelpful thoughts. I meditate on scripture or spiritual readings. I reflect on my experiences. I capture creative ideas and work with them. I do all of this with a sense of God-with-me. It’s my hope that the Spirit who has been with me as I’ve written in my journal will be with readers as they journey through the book. 

I envision these daily readings as five-minute daily retreats. I don’t see the practice of retreat as a way of avoiding or escaping reality. It’s a practice in acknowledging deeper reality. As you read each day, and especially as you carry the included reflection question into your day to chew on, you’ll experience the steady formation of a more unhurried mindset and way of living. Transformation happens at that gracious, steady pace.

Distraction and Prayer

Blog by Alan Fadling

I wonder if you ever experience the same thing I sometimes do when I sit down to pray and be still in the presence of God. Suddenly, I think of all kinds of tasks needing my attention. They may be perfectly legitimate administrative responsibilities. They may even be important projects I’m currently working on. But they aren’t the way I intended to engage in prayer. 

 

I find these lines from Rev. Henri Caffarel’s little book Being Present to God to be quite helpful:  

 

If you have no sooner begun your mental prayer, than you feel the urge to return to your professional activities, is it not because you are driven to prove to others (and first of all to yourself) that you are a “capable” man, creative and efficient? Be on your guard. I fear that you are yielding to an insidious, dangerous temptation, that threatens to throw you into the company of those whom Christ condemned: the rich. A rich man is a “somebody” who can, who has, and who is.** 

 

That last line calls to mind the insights of another Henri—Henri Nouwen—who said that we’re tempted to define ourselves by all the things we do, all the things we acquire, and all the good things others say about us. 

 

The Spirit of God would gladly empower my resolve to sit quietly before God when that’s what I intend. However, I’m sometimes tempted to view silent prayer as unproductive and fruitless. I’m tempted instead to get to work. But often that impulse to get busy does not lead to anything fruitful that I care about. The “return to my professional activities” usually just means distracting myself with administrative tasks that may eventually need attention but don’t matter that much in the long run. 

 

It’s interesting that Caffarel uses the common biblical metaphor of “the rich” to describe those who rely on their own resources and initiatives rather than learning to act from a place of rootedness in trust and inner stillness. I will never do good work if I think it mostly grows out of some sense of being a “somebody.” I will do good work only when I remember and welcome that God has prepared good work for me to do each day. All that I need—energy, creativity, perseverance, focus—I have in abundance in God as I step with him into the work. I may not feel that abundance if I sit idly and let fear, anxiety, or self-doubt hinder my activity. 

 

All this abundance is not like what the rich hoard for themselves. It is abundance to be shared, to be given away. This is the way of entering fully into God’s abundance and multiplying it through good work. This is the way that abundance becomes a source of joy and well-being for me and for those I serve. Amen. 

 

Reflection Questions

Can you identify with the temptation to “get busy” when you sit down to pray? How might you resist that voice the next time you pray?

 

**Rev. Henri Caffarel, Being Present to God: Letters on Prayer, trans. Angeline Bouchard (New York: Alba House, 1983), p. 53.

 

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

 

ICDT #60: The Power of a Good Mentor

 

I’ve enjoyed the treat of having many mentor-like people in my life who were ahead of me on the journey. They knew more than me and readily shared their knowledge and wisdom. They believed in me and my potential, and were willing to help draw me into the next season.  

Maya Angelou once said, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” 

It is certainly true that my mentors taught and trained me, but just as Ms. Angelou stated, what I remember the most is how they made me feel. Although there have been many who poured into me throughout my life, today I'm sharing with you three important people who touched and changed my life:

Perla Warren
Hal Clark
Ellyn Cowie

UL Podcast #236: A Curious Faith (Lore Ferguson Wilbert)

 

I’m sharing a recent conversation with Lore Ferguson Wilbert about her book A Curious Faith. In it, she talks about questions God asks us, questions we ask God, and question we wish others would ask us. We are sometimes uncomfortable with questions unless we quickly figure out an answer to them. But growing deeper in trusting God often involves “living the questions” rather than merely answering them. 

I believe in the formative power of good questions. Our own book, What Does Your Soul Love?, is based on eight questions that reveal the frontiers of where God is at his transforming work in our lives. 

Lore Ferguson Wilbert is the founder of Sayable.net and the author of Handle with Care, winner of a 2021Christianity Today Book Award. She has written for Christianity Today, Fathom magazine, and She Reads Truth, and served as general editor of B&H's “Read and Reflect with the Classics.” Wilbert reaches an audience of more than 40,000 through email and social media. She is currently pursuing an MA in Christian spiritual formation and leadership from Friends University and lives in upstate New York.

ICDT #59: A Helpful Practice for Decision Fatigue

 

Here in the states, it’s Thanksgiving week. And it’s easy to become stressed or overwhelmed during the holidays. Every year we tell ourselves that we won’t get caught up in the scurry of the season, but difficult relationships and over-extended schedules press in. Then we find ourselves enduring the season rather than enjoying it.

Wrapped up inside all this is another lovely dynamic: decision fatigue. 

UL Podcast #235: A Year of Slowing Down Book

 

Today, I’m happy to introduce my latest book A Year of Slowing Down: Daily Devotions for Unhurried Living, and it releases in two weeks on December 6. 

This book captures a lot of what we’ve been talking about here at Unhurried Living. It is the third book in the unhurried trilogy, following An Unhurried Life and An Unhurried Leader.

With the overwhelming pace of life, many of us struggle to stop long enough to be present. Our long to-do lists and full calendars leave little breathing room to hear from God. We know we need to slow down but we don't even know how to begin.

I’ve spent decades coaching leaders and communities on how to live an unhurried life, teaching that productivity and success are not our first pursuit, but the fruit of living at the pace that our true self longs to live. Designed to help you center your day around God's loving presence, A Year of Slowing Down offers six devotionals for each week of the year. Each day begins with a Scripture passage followed by a short reading and a reflection question.

This book is an invitation to slow down and be present to the movement of God in your everyday life. I hope you’ll embrace God's call to welcome a year of slowing down.

Being God's Children, part 2

Blog by Alan Fadling

Two weeks ago, I shared a reflection on a passage from the Gospel of John chapter 8. This week’s reflection picks up where that one left off, as the conflict between Jesus and the Jewish leaders continues: 

 

Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I have come here from God. I have not come on my own; God sent me. Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. Yet because I tell the truth, you do not believe me! Can any of you prove me guilty of sin? If I am telling the truth, why don’t you believe me? Whoever belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God.” (John 8:42-47)

 

These Jewish leaders want to claim God as their Father, but they don’t recognize God’s favorite Son standing right in front of them. Instead of loving this Son who has been personally sent by the Father, they are seeking his death. They think they are doing God’s work while opposing the very heart of the Father. 

 

Then Jesus gets specific. They don’t have God as their Father. They don’t even have Abraham as father. Their father is the devil, who wants to steal and kill and destroy (John 10:10), and they are living out that purpose. Just as there is no truth in the father of lies, there is no truth in these Jewish leaders’ lives. 

 

Lying is the devil’s native language. He has been telling lies from the beginning, and he hates the taste of truth on his tongue. But Jesus is the Truth. Truth is his essential nature. The contrasts in John 8 keep stacking up. Children of a liar are accusing the Truth of untruth. Those who lie see everyone else as liars. They assume there is no truth. 

 

If we belong to God, we will hear and recognize what Jesus says—period. If someone has a hard time recognizing what Jesus says as truth, the problem does not rest with Jesus but with them. But this problem has a solution. Jesus’s original invitation stands: “Repent. You can change your mind. I will help you.” 

 

Reflection Questions

How has God been showing himself in your life? In what way has he been fostering in you a posture of love toward others?

 

Photo by Larm Rmah on Unsplash

UL Podcast #234: Flourishing in Leadership (Tom Nelson)

 

Today, I’m sharing a recent conversation with Tom Nelson about his book The Flourishing Pastor. Many of you who listen regularly to this podcast are serving in church leadership. Many of you aren’t. This isn’t an episode only for pastors. We’re talking about how we can flourish in our roles and relationships of influence. In fact, flourishing is one of the ways we best serve others. We have an abundance from which we can joyfully share with others. 

These have been challenging years to be a pastor. If you are a pastor, I hope this episode will be of special encouragement to you. If you aren’t a pastor, there is a good chance you have a pastor. Would you listen not only for insights that help you, but also with an ear for how you might be a friend to you pastor? 

Tom is founder and president of Made to Flourish, an organization that empowers pastors and their churches to integrate faith, work, and economic wisdom for the flourishing of their communities.

ICDT #58: The Best of You (Dr. Alison Cook)

Today I’m talking with Dr. Alison Cook and we’ll be discussing how to discover the BEST OF YOU (also the title of her latest book).

Dr. Alison delivers life-changing strategies for helping women develop their voices, forge healthy relationships, and embrace the holy, sacred work of becoming their true selves in God. 

I’m sharing with you a portion of the conversation I had with Alison for our Replenish Community. She shares about the difference between selfishness and selfhood, which leads into a conversation about following the example of Jesus in the area of boundaries.

Embracing Life's Transitions

Blog by Gem Fadling

For the last two years, I have been engaging the slow and tedious process of growing out my grey hair. At one point there were at least four different colors blending from one to the other. 

 

I first tried easing into my grey hair three months into the pandemic. This is the perfect time, I thought. No one will see me because we aren’t gathering right now. But then, as the weeks progressed, I began to doubt my process and decided to color again.

 

Finally, a few months later, I decided to go for it one more time and have now fully arrived at my new salt & pepper look.

 

I share this boring hair story because I’ve had a not-so-boring struggle dealing with all of the changes in my body in this season of life. Slowly, but surely, I am moving toward acceptance of the ever-changing ways my body is “maturing.”

 

I shared with my husband, Alan, that leaving behind my dark hair felt like closing a door on my youth and, yes, part of my identity. During the first half of my life I had long, flowing black hair. It was my prized possession.

 

I’m old enough to know that hair is not identity and yet I still had to think it through to leap over the hair-color wall. I know that the state of my hair has nothing to do with my actual identity or my age. White, black and grey are just colors.

 

I am still a vibrant, optimistic grower who loves to encourage and inspire people. A bottle of dye, either way, doesn’t change that at all.

 

Letting your hair grow out naturally for a year will do something to you. After leaping over the wall of the decision-making process, I still had to live it out. 

 

Ploddingly slow, quarter inch by quarter inch, I have been in a time of transition. 

 

Isn’t this what transition--changing over time--feels like? You’re not where you were and you’re not yet where you’re going. It’s at this point you can learn to love…what…is.

 

I think the fancy word for this is contentment.

 

Rather than hair color, what if I’m having a change of heart or of habit? Can I love myself and let go of self-consciousness during the process? 

 

The drawn-out middle is a valid part of the change, and I miss so much when I attempt to jump from the beginning to the end. 

 

It is in the waiting of the transition that deep work occurs. We get a chance to hold and accept all the parts, and variations of the parts. And this can happen in no other way than making our way through the entirety of the change. 

 

I’m at the place now where I don’t care what others think or if they think at all about my multiple shades of hair. This is so freeing. How else would I have come to this freedom except to make my way through? 

 

So, whether its multi-colored hair or a deeper work of healing going on inside you, the process of change can be accepted and even…wait for it…enjoyed. 

 

You can embrace what is and learn to love it. That, my friends, is contentment.

 

Reflection

Identify a place of transition in your own life. 
Call it to mind or write it down and look at it.
Where are you in the process of this change?
Take a moment and decide that, for today, you will try loving what is. Experiment with accepting where you are in the process, without rushing or pushing.
The messy middle is a valid part of the journey.
Notice any inner shifts as you try this on.