Redfern Jon Barrett's Blog, page 12
April 29, 2013
I’M JOINING THE WINNING TEAM: RACISM!
You know the scene – you’re having a drink in a bar with some friends, one of whom has brought someone along, a particularly irate person wearing a scowl and an unabashed sense of entitlement. Somehow the conversation drifts towards immigration or terrorism (“somehow” = deliberately and awkwardly brought up by the stranger) and you spend the next 5 hours attempting to explain Islam and justify the existence of Muslim people, all under a rapidly growing headache induced by the increasing moron-induced sobriety.

Well I give up, and officially switch sides. Hurrah, I’m now a racist! I’ve been practising angry, unduly-enraged faces in the mirror all morning.
Enlisting the support of one of my most racist friends Mike Mantin, we have come up with some new hateful catchphrases.
Do we win the bigot crown?
I’M NOT SAYING THAT ALL MUSLIMS ARE TERRORISTS, BUT DO YOU SEE ANY TERRORISTS THAT AREN’T MUSLIM? APART FROM THOSE OTHER ONES BUT THEY WERE JUST CRAZY.
I’M NOT SAYING THAT ALL MUSLIMS ARE TERRORISTS, BUT YOU CAN’T WALK DOWN THE HIGH STREET AND SEE A WHITE FACE ANYMORE.
I’M NOT SAYING ALL MUSLIMS ARE TERRORISTS, BUT GODJESUS DEFINED MARRIAGE AS BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN.
I’M NOT SAYING ALL MUSLIMS ARE TERRORISTS, BUT ALL IMMIGRANTS ARE MUSLIM.
I’M NOT SAYING ALL MUSLIMS ARE TERRORISTS, BUT THE HUMAN RIGHTS ACT NEEDS TO BE ABOLISHED.
I’M NOT SAYING ALL MUSLIMS ARE TERRORISTS, BUT DEATH PENALTY FOR KIDDIE FIDDLERS.
I’M NOT SAYING ALL MUSLIMS ARE TERRORISTS, BUT ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM AND STEVE.
I’M NOT SAYING ALL MUSLIMS ARE TERRORISTS, BUT NO2EU!
I’M NOT SAYING ALL MUSLIMS ARE FEMINISTS, BUT ALL FEMINISTS ARE MUSLIM.
And finally:
I’M NOT SAYING THAT ALL MUSLIMS ARE TERRORISTS, BUT ALL MUSLIMS ARE TERRORISTS.
Next task: find an editorial position at The Sun newspaper. Praise Murdoch!
- Redfern
The post I’M JOINING THE WINNING TEAM: RACISM! appeared first on redjon.com.
April 19, 2013
LOVE THE SINNER, HATE THE SIN
HOUSESPOUSE CORNER – MAKING COCKTAILS FOR NON-EXISTENT FRIENDS
You’ve dreamed of the scene – you’re in an elegant gown, the room is abuzz with friendly chatter, and everyone is sipping at the exquisite cocktails you’ve made. ‘My!’ the Hendersons cry, ‘If these aren’t the best daiquiris this side of Paris!’ Everyone cheers. You sing a solo whilst stretched over the grand piano. The night is perfect, and only a few people notice when you have one too many and lock yourself in the airing cupboard to cry and be sick on your shoes.

Such elegance! Such excitement! Such a mess, why won’t the damn cupboard doors open?
But such things have always been idle fantasies – you don’t have any friends, and the only cocktail your husband will ever drink is lager with a dash of his own self-pitying tears. How could a cocktail party be possible?
Well never fear lovely housespouses! With my patented “COCKTAIL PARTIES FOR THE FRIENDLESS’ formula, you can have all the rum-infused glamour you want! Any time! No more stealing the neighbourhood cats for the rush!
COCKTAIL #1: LONG ISLAND ICED TEA

First up we have a classic: Long Island Iced Tea. Now the trick with this one is lots and lots of alcohol – and who better to share it with than the postman? He looks like he enjoys a drink!
Ingredients:
Tea (black – PG Tips will do)
All the alcohol you can hide under your coat in the supermarket.
Firstly, add the tea and the – what does that label say? ‘Domestos?’ Add together and shake it (shaking is how real cocktails are made, stirring is for amateurs and homosexuals). Wait by the door for the postman, offering him the drink the second you hear him at the garden path. Be insistent - don’t take no for an answer! After all, who doesn’t love cocktails?
Success Rating: 2/5
So the police didn’t want a cocktail either, and the postal service will no longer deliver to your house. Still, don’t let it get you down! The solution to cocktail-based problems is always more cocktails!
COCKTAIL #2: STRAWBERRY SMAQUIRI
Of course the postman couldn’t share a drink with you! He has to work. But you know who doesn’t have a job? The heroin addict at the corner of your street! He’s perfect!

Now, this time you need to tailor the cocktail to the guest – the key to being a good host is attention to detail.
Ingredients:
Ice
Strawberries
100 mg Columbian Black Tar
Root around under the sink for the blender – you finally have a use for it! Add the ice and the strawberries, followed by the heroin. Serve in that rusty syringe you found at the back of the school.
Success Rating: 3/5
This went well at first! Sure, he seemed surprised when you pounced and stuck the needle in his neck, and maybe it wasn’t the heroin addict after all – but boy did he love the cocktail. For the three minutes before the convulsions and choking, of course.
COCKTAIL #3: DRINK IT, JUST DRINK IT
OK, screw these intimate occasions! You want a party, damnit! And that Starbucks downtown is full of people!

Ingredients:
Whatever you like, this is a party!
Find a bucket and take your husband’s gun from the cellar. Wander the streets, adding whatever liquids you can find to the bucket – make sure to have plenty of intoxicants – siphon fuel from cars, steal antifreeze from garages, whatever you like. Just be creative! When the bucket is full and the gun fully loaded, make your way to the coffee shop.
No-one is going to stop this party.
Success rating: 5/5
You’re the talk of the town! Sure, some spoiled losers cried as you forced the gun to their head and suggested they try your cocktail, and there’s always those who try to spoil everything by vomiting blood – but your bash has made it into all the newspapers! Nation-wide!
So there you have it. A-list cocktails for A-list housespouses! Join us next week when we teach you how to clean the bathroom using only spit, vinegar, and your own tears!
- Redfern
The post HOUSESPOUSE CORNER – MAKING COCKTAILS FOR NON-EXISTENT FRIENDS appeared first on redjon.com.
April 9, 2013
A Moment’s Silence for Queer Teens
Sorry to comment on this issue, but this is to everyone calling for ‘respect’ over Margaret Thatcher’s death.
My life as a teenager would have been far easier without Section 28. I was physically beaten at school for being gay, interrogated by my headteacher and lectured on ‘effeminacy’, whilst the Christians who were allowed free entry to the school brainwashed me about the sin of homosexuality. A very likeable and liberal teacher once told us he would like to talk to us about being gay, but couldn’t due to the law. Adults felt free to denigrate queer people, but worried that if they said anything non-hostile they would lose their jobs. There was to be no relief for young queer people – you were told you were degenerate or you were told nothing. That was Section 28.
Children who need to be taught to respect traditional moral values are being taught that they have an inalienable right to be gay.
- Margaret Thatcher, Conservative Party Conference, 1987.
I did not have an inalienable right to be gay – nor did the thousands of other teenagers growing up between the years of 1988 and 2000. I and many like me suffered extreme depression and anxiety, something I managed to overcome. Please, please think of those teenagers who didn’t manage to, and who may still be alive today if it wasn’t for a piece of legislation that was only ever designed to hurt children, to make them feel perverted and ashamed, to let them know that they were abnormal. To let children know that they had no inalienable right to be who they were.
I am happy that I live in a time when things are slightly easier. I’m happy for every queer teenager who has a teacher to talk to, who knows they are not alone, or – if they’re lucky enough – can actually learn about their own desires along with all the other kids.
This piece doesn’t have the humour of most of the things on this site – and I’m happy to let you know that I cry each and every time I think about what young people had to go through, and for the ones who couldn’t make it.
I will never rejoice in someone’s death. But she does not deserve a moment’s silence or your respect – those lost teenagers do.
- Redfern
The post A Moment’s Silence for Queer Teens appeared first on redjon.com.
April 6, 2013
THE REDFERN ENTERPRISES PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATION
Now, I don’t have a good history when it comes to corporate psychological testing – I was actually permanently barred from working for William Hill as a result of some honest answering (sad, but true – I shall never know the delights of watching old men gamble away their life savings from behind attack glass). Still, as we want only the very finest, any-random-bottle-of-pills-found-on-the-subway-swallowing managers for our esteemed* corporation, we have come up with our very own.
*excommunicated
Do you have what it takes to work for us?

Question 1
Your child arrives home in tears. There is a new bully on the playground and they have singled them out as a target. What do you do?
a) Telephone the school and inform the teacher as to the situation.
b) Teach the child some basic psychological and physical defences.
c) YOU WILL NOT BE GUARDIAN TO THE WEAK. END THE CHILD AND ADOPT THE BULLY.
Question 2
You are walking down the street near your home when you see an old lady struggling with some heavy bags. She offers you a small amount of money for your assistance in carrying them up to her apartment. What do you do?
a) Take the money and help her.
b) Help her for free – a good deed is its own reward!
c) CONTENTS OF BAGS: WORTHLESS. VALUE OF LADY’S ANTIQUE “PLEASE DON’T TAKE THAT, IT BELONGED TO MY LATE GRANDFATHER” JEWELLERY COLLECTION: €345. VALUE OF CARRIAGE CLOCK ON HER TELEVISION, AND TELEVISION: €134. VALUE OF LADY’S SHOES: €12. PROFIT ACQUIRED.
Question 3
Your are seated on a crowded subway train when you see a heavily pregnant woman struggling to keep her balance whilst standing. Do you:
a) Offer her your seat.
b) Tell the teenager next to you to give her his seat.
c) BLADDER FULL: MARK YOUR TERRITORY. ALL SEATS AND ALL THOSE SEATED BELONG TO YOU. TAKE YOUR NEW PROPERTY TO THE STORAGE FACILITY.
Question 4
At work, your manager makes some questionable decisions which could have a negative impact on the company. What do you do?
a) Ask your co-workers for advice.
b) Talk to the manager about it, remaining respectful: you cannot know all his motivations.
c) TAKE A PENCIL AND SHARPEN IT TO A FINE POINT. PROCEED TO YOUR MANAGER’S DESK AND PRESENT THE EVIDENCE THAT HE IS CHEATING ON HIS WIFE WITH AN UNDERAGE PROSTITUTE. OFFER HIM THE PENCIL. MAINTAIN PROFESSIONAL DIGNITY AS HE STRUGGLES WITH HIS LIMITED OPTIONS AND SAYS GOODBYE TO HIS GOD(S). STRAIGHTEN YOUR TIE AS HE SLOWLY DRIVES THE PENCIL THROUGH HIS EYE AND INTO THE BRAIN. TAKE THE JACKET: THIS IS YOUR JACKET NOW. CONGRATULATIONS, MR. MANAGER!
Question 5
Et ipsi filii trito, ultione divina accipiat. Nemo effugiet flagrantibus Cortinam: none digni sunt. Iungeremus celebrationem de fragmentis concordatarium. Ducamus hunc mundum tenebris luceat lux non amplius quam.
a) Erm, sorry?
b) I… I don’t speak Latin.
c) THE PROPHECY IS NEAR COMPLETION. BLESSED BE THE COMPANY, BLESSED BE OUR MASTERS. BY THIS TOKEN OF BLOOD I OFFER YOU MY SERVICE, THAT I MAY RECEIVE YOUR FAVOUR, THAT MY BACK MAY BE SUPPORTED BY A GOOD OFFICE CHAIR. NESCIT ACCIPERE NOSTRA MUNDUM! BENEDICTUS BE TENEBRIS! TE AMENT CREPERUM!
Thank you for filling out our psychological evaluation. If you are French, un-self-orphaned, or have ever known joy, please discard your application into the refuse bin provided. For all other enquiries, please present your application to THE MYSTERIOUS STRANGER, who shall be standing in the corner of your bedroom between the hours of 01:00 and 03:00.
“Good” luck!
- Redfern
The post THE REDFERN ENTERPRISES PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATION appeared first on redjon.com.
April 2, 2013
NEWS
Facebook is smothered in complaints about the snow, and about the never-ending winter which shall cause the crops to fail and lead to our eventual starvation. Of course I haven’t noticed, having locked myself indoors to write endlessly whilst my loved ones slowly forget my name.

Rudolph? … Randalph?
But it’s all worth it, as stuff has been happening!
My short story ‘Liquid Loyalty’, set in a world where monogamy pills have become socially mandatory, is being published in The Future Fire.
The re-print of my short story ‘Transaction’ has been printed in the Spring 2013 special edition of A cappella Zoo.
I have an article on witchcraft published in the Spring 2013 edition of Sleek Magazine.
My article ‘Starting Out Duogamous’ is being published in Polytical.
’2013-2020: THE REST OF THE DECADE, ACCORDING TO MOVIES’ – my latests piece for Scifi Methods is out.
‘The Gods Present to Us the Artefact’, a piece I wrote with the artists Olivia Plender and Unnar Örn, is being shown in Malmö, Sweden.

Remember stalkers: you only need a small stepladder to peek into my bedroom window (NOTE: DISREGARD ANY SOBBING AND/OR BLOOD SACRIFICE)
Happy endless snowings!
- Redfern
The post NEWS appeared first on redjon.com.
March 25, 2013
“Do Polyamorous Relationships Work?”: Why Not Rip Out the Questioner’s Tongue?
This article was originally published at ‘The Lor of Rose’, 16th October 2012. To sign a petition for poly rights, please click here.

“Do Polyamorous Relationships Work?”
When the media focuses on polyamory, this is the central question. But the question itself makes no sense. It makes no sense because polyamorous is something I am,not something I do. Instead of asking ‘Do polyamorous relationships work?’ they would have to ask ‘Do polyamorous people work?’ – a question which is impossible to answer. We simply exist.
For most of us, polyamory is not a choice. It is something we are. All this is obvious to the polyamorous – in the very least, we have to ‘come out’ of the poly closet to friends, family, and potential lovers. Many of us have tried monogamy time and time again, only to find that it doesn’t work for us. As a result we face discrimination, legal and social, but we stick with it because it is who we are. I can never enter into a monogamous relationship because I am not a monogamous person. I love my poly identity, and it’s as much a part of who I am as the fact that I am queer.
I bring this up because the issue over polyamory has the obvious historical parallel of homosexuality. Prior to the eighteenth century, homosexuality was not an identity but an act (one of the many acts covered under the umbrella label of ‘sodomy’) and slowly, over the next 300 years, became a visible, recognized and later politically active social group. If male-male and female-female sex was something anyone could do – such as theft or adultery – then it could be penalized with impunity. The key to social acceptance and the attainment of civil rights was in this shift in recognition from act to identity.
The polyamorous community faces a similar dilemma. The discussion around nonmonogamy invariably focuses on acts rather than identity – as such, polyamory is something anyone can do, and as a result something anyone can avoid. The issue of civil rights fades into the background, as polyamory is seen as a choice. And if wechoose to not have monogamous relationships, then any loss of legal recognition is our own damn fault. Few in the mainstream media kick up a fuss if poly people lose their children – but can you imagine someone losing their child in 2012 because they were homosexual?
My hopes for polyamory are the same my hopes for LGBT/Q rights – that someday we might have the same legal recognition of our love as everyone else: that we can visit our partners in hospital, that we can keep custody of our children, that we are covered for insurance and inheritance, and any of many rights afforded to married monogamous individuals.
It will take a long time. But it will only happen if we make this one thing very clear: this is not what we do. This is who we are. And we’re not going anywhere.
- Redfern
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March 20, 2013
THE SAME-SEX MARRIAGE COLLAPSE OF CIVILISATION CHECKLIST
Now, as you might be aware, I’m not the world’s biggest fan of marriage – sure, wearing a big fluffy gown and having people cry at you is nice, but there’s always the sneaking suspicion that marriage was invented to enslave women – all that transferring the bride from father to deadbeat husband, the name-changing, the talk of obedience. Now, of course not all marriages mean that these days (THIS IS MY ONE CONCESSION TO NORMALITY, TREASURE IT) – but it’s not an easy history to shake. As a big ol’ queer I’d rather see marriage become simply a personal ceremony rather than a legal one, but things are as they are and many of us are fighting for the right to own one another when our genitals match, prompting a banal and endless hysteria from the Jesusians, because legalising same-sex marriage will lead to incest, polygamy, and cat fucking.

In fact, there’s a whole loada stuff it will apparently lead to, but the right-wingers are never very clear on this issue – after all, which can we expect first – the bestiality or the necrophilia? Surely this is some sort of domino effect, but what leads to what?
Well never fear, rabid homophobes! For I have charted the way, creating THE SAME-SEX MARRIAGE COLLAPSE OF CIVILISATION CHECKLIST, which charts the downfall of our entire society. Enjoy.
1. Polygamy

This is totally going to happen first. Now, obviously the correct term would be ‘polyamory’, but the right are going after for the anti-Muslim fearmongering tactic, a tried-and-tested method of getting attention. This actually probably will happen at some point (heck, it’s happened in Brazil already) – so they’re off to a good start.
COLLAPSE OF CIVILISATION METRE: 1/10
To be honest a lot of cultures have had group marriages, so I don’t think we’re endangered just yet.
Next up…
2. Incest

This is where things really start to go wrong. We’re still in ‘consenting alive humans’ territory, but we’ve also ventured into squickland. The British Conservative party are continually trying to bring in civil unions for brothers and sisters, so part of me suspects that there are a number of homophobes who are secretly dreaming of their oh-so-sexy siblings. And heck-darn-it, group marriages are already legal by this point, so now the whole family can get married!
COLLAPSE OF CIVILISATION METRE: 4/10
There are sporadic reports of churches being set alight and one or two instances of schoolteachers being beheaded, but that’s normal, right?
3. Bestiality

So now Western Civilisation is creaking at the seams – the streets are cracked, graffiti is everywhere, and the mutant offspring of brotherhusbands and sisterwives are mugging you with a flick-knife. But never mind, at least you can still enjoy a nice trip to the zoo-oh.
Oh gods.
COLLAPSE OF CIVILISATION METRE: 6/10
Is marriage with all species legal from the get-go, or do we start with primates, works our way to all mammals, until finally we’re wedded to that lovely seahorse who makes a good income but will never be as exciting or dangerous as that sexy sea otter? Regardless, every fifth child born can now breathe fire, and helping old ladies across the street is illegal.
4: Virtual reality beings

This one is often missed by the technologically-illiterate Bible-thumpers, but hey, some people fall in love with pixels, and if we’re marrying gorillas, why not?
COLLAPSE OF CIVILISATION METRE: 7/10
I don’t think this one does much more damage than having relationships with species unable to consent, so only a few more churches will be imploding this time.
5. Necrophilia

Till death do us part? P’shaw! I met my hubby at the graveyard and we’ve been together ever since I found a shovel. His widow won’t stop calling me and crying down the phone, but we’re happy, damnit!
COLLAPSE OF CIVILISATION METRE: 10/10
Jesus can’t save us now! Dragons roam the skies, picking off the young in order to marry or eat them. Gangs of cannibals have emptied the schools, and the state is providing affordable healthcare to all citizens. Anarchy reigns, clouds empty blood from the heavens and …
And with that the right-wing fantasy is complete. Remember, equal rights are a ‘slippery slope’, and not just because alliteration is designed to appeal to absolute morons!
Merry marryings, my marvellous minions.
- Redfern
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March 13, 2013
Review: CyberStorm by Matthew Mather

As my legions of dedicated stalkers will be aware, I have previously written a review of Mather’s other work, The Complete Atopia Chronicles, for Scifi Methods. As I wrote back in October, Mather’s strengths lie in his technical background and ability to envisage horrifying abuses of computer technology, whereas his weaknesses lie in character development: in short, it was a fascinating world populated by less-fascinating people. So when Mather contacted me offering an advanced copy of his new novel CyberStorm, I was interested to see if it would follow the same pattern.
First up: though Mather’s describes the novel as a ‘sort-of prequel’ to his earlier series Atopia, it is not necessary reading for CyberStorm: in fact, its setting and theme are completely different, as is the tone. Whereas Atopia makes for frightening but colourful reading, CyberStorm is bleak. Ruthlessly bleak. Cormac McCarthy bleak. Whilst the former is straight-up sci-fi, this latest story strays into the territory of speculative fiction, drawing on technologies that currently exist and detailing what could happen if someone seriously fucked with them.
It’s the near future and all of our public services and functions rely on networked technology: from power generation to water supplies, from food distribution to epidemic alert systems. We follow a relatively-wealthy family living in Manhattan (where else?) as all of these services rapidly break down in the middle of a severe winter, leaving the island in a chaos of starvation, fire, and disease. The author goes to great pains to show what could happen in a worst-case scenario, and certainly succeeds at this task.
Much of this is familiar: after all, the anarchic, disordered breakdown of society is one of the most common tropes out there. However, once again Mather manages to provide his own take on a well-trodden theme, and though at times the dialogue between characters may fall into cliché (more on that in a moment), the plot does not. The claustrophobic breakdown of a starving city highlights how fragile our information networks are, and by extension, our entire society. The novel makes no attempts to pull its punches, and there are moments which are satisfyingly brutal and sickening.
In the midst of all the destruction, the novel goes some way to explore social issues: as is expected in a war setting, racism rears its ugly head numerous times, often from characters who are otherwise almost likeable. There are also vegan and gay couples living in the building which forms the novel’s primary location – offering more diversity than in Mather’s previous work – but it’s very hard to get away from the fact that the whiter, straighter, blander main characters are the centre of attention. Diversity is left to the periphery: the fate of every non-white, non-heterosexual character is left totally unknown.
Mather explores gender issues with a little more success. Though the novel does feature extremely capable and authoritative women from the outset – namely the vegan Pam and the elderly Russian Irena – the earlier sections of the novel see the two most prominent women function as domestic wives and little more, prone to bursting into tears at every given opportunity. However, without giving too much away, this outmoded dynamic is dismantled later on: suggesting that our genitally-defined roles are the product of an overly comfortable and pampered culture. When removed from such a system the women are proven at least as capable as their menfolk.
Once again a great plot is somewhat undermined by weaker characters. Though the narrator and his best friend Chuck have an interesting and sweet friendship (I’m a sucker for bromance), their ‘everyman’ qualities lead to you wanting to hear from the book’s more interesting population. As before the plot more than makes up for this, but I couldn’t help but wish that the gays or the vegans had been at the centre.
Despite its shortcomings, CyberStorm simulates – in horrifyingly plausible detail – the total breakdown of our society’s frail physical and psychic infrastructure. Caution: may drive you to stock up on canned food and sacks of rice.
- Redfern
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March 6, 2013
REDFERN ENTERPRISES’ TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE QUESTIONNAIRE
Thank you for your application to work for REDFERN ENTERPRISES, formerly CAMPAIGN FOR THE RELEASE OF REDFERN BARRETT, formerly TOTALLY NONTOXIC CHILDREN’S CHEMICAL PLAYSLUDGE, INC. In order to process your application, we need you to complete the following questionnaire:
FIRST NAME:__________________________________
SURNAME:____________________________________
THE NAME WHISPERED TO YOU IN THE DARKNESS:____
AGE (COUNTING BACKWARDS FROM ESTIMATED DEATH DATE):____
GENDER (PLEASE GIVE RELEVANT JUSTIFICATIONS):____________
CITY OF BIRTH:__________________________________________
NUMBER OF HEALTHY CHILDREN IN YOUR AREA:_______________
NUMBER OF TIMES, PER WEEK, YOU VISIT A GRAVEYARD:________
PLEASE COMPLETE THE FOLLOWING SENTENCES:
“People generally describe me as _____________________________”
“I like to think of myself as __________________________________”
“I cry every time _________________________________________”
“He no longer has eyes because ______________________________”
PLEASE ANSWER THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS WITH A ‘YES’ (Y) OR ‘NO’ (N):
“If I discover workplace malpractice, I always notify a superior.” ___
“I am happy to work extra hours to meet deadlines.” ___
“Under certain circumstances, my loved ones are expendable.” ___
“I am at peace around the dead.” ___
“I am unable to feel empathy toward animals or other humans.” ___
“I can work as part of a team.” ___
IN YOUR OWN WORDS, DESCRIBE YOUR FIRST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE:
IN YOUR OWN WORDS, DESCRIBE HOW YOU IMAGINE YOUR GRANDPARENTS’ FIRST SEXUAL EXPERIENCES:
PLEASE AFFIX A DRAWING OF YOUR ANCESTORS HERE:
We thank you for completing this questionnaire. Please wait 2-3 hours for a response before contacting us.
PLEASE NOTE: BY WRITING YOUR NAME ABOVE YOU AGREE TO PARTAKE IN REDFERN ENTERPRISES’ NONDISCLOSURE AGREEMENTS, AND GRANT COMPANY EXECUTIVES THE RIGHT TO ENTER YOUR HOME BETWEEN THE HOURS OF 4:00-6:00 AND 22:00-00:00 (“WITCHING HOUR”).
“Good luck”
- Redfern
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