Pat Hatt's Blog, page 45

On This Date We Put On Some Weight!

Yeah. We took a weight and put it on the floor. See? We didn't lie to you at our shore. You are the ones that lie all the time. Even Pat has committed this crime. The cat can't believe it. Some even say it while they sit.

Time for fun.
Fun with a ton.
Tons of fun.
Time to be done.

No Tons of Buns.
We did those runs.
Of course you can go buy.
Added that on the fly.

For that thought is heavy.
Great Scot, get me a levy.
Hey, I'm fine with charging tax.
Having dough can make me relax.

Oh right, of course.
I suffer no remorse.
But oh some do.
It is sure heavy too.

Not just heavy though.
Oh friggin no.
It is more than that.
Makes you into a gnat.

For it weighs a ton.
A ton has just been spun.
50 pounds of kitty litter.
Come now, don't be bitter.

Oh look, a car tire.
You are about to expire.
It weighs a ton.
Whoops, a lie was spun.

Books by the stack.
Oh, you put out your back.
Why? Because they weighed a ton.
Damn, you're stronger than everyone.

Picked the spouse up.
Hmm results in a hiccup.
But we'll say it anyway.
You weigh a ton today.

Dropped to the floor.
Kicked out the door.
Never will get said again.
Especially if said by men.

Do you use it at your sea? Hint: If you can lift it no ton weighing comes to be. Unless you are Superman and the sun gives you more than a tan. Or maybe that big green guy. Then you can let tons fly. Does your spouse weigh a ton? Wouldn't try to use that to poke fun. You may get poked in the eye and given sass. That can hurt a ton unlike the posts from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling. 

A Searching We Go High Or Just Low!

The cat doesn't need to do this as I just give a hiss. That usually seems to work. It can so be a perk. The life of a cat. Who's to blame for that?

That wasn't me.
It costs a fee?
It really wasn't me.
Go bug that tree.

It was that squirrel.
See how he did a whirl?
The squirrel in the tree.
I swear that it wasn't me.

It was that bird.
He didn't say a word.
He flew from the squirrel.
See how those wings curl?

It was not me.
I'm truly telling thee.
It was that dog.
The one that ate the bird's brown log.

No! Look at that.
The dog chased the cat.
It was that cat.
He chewed no fat.

See? He's up on a ledge.
He's as whelmed as that hedge.
His human just took him in.
It was her that committed this sin.

Don't look at me.
It was not me, can't you see?
It was her child.
She let him run wild.

Wait. It was his friend.
Now no need to amend.
For his friend is the Girl Scout Leader's daughter.
Oh look, she's likes Harry Potter.

It was the author of that.
She caused this scat.
It was all her doing.
I think they call it kangarooing.

I swear that's the truth.
I'm the greatest sleuth.
It was never that tree.
Just like it wasn't me.

Do you like to shift blame? Do you get that lame? Like nonsense land type blame? Blaming someone who doesn't even know your name? The cat would roll his eyes if so. We'll stick to avoiding the blame game at our show. But if you want blame to come to pass then you can blame today's post on my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling. 

The Race Is On For The Con!

The cat is ready to run. I am ready for fun. Or maybe to poke fun. Either way a post will be spun. A racing post from your host. No way I'll coast, but I might boast. That or meow. Okay, the race is on now.

My idea is grand.
I'm spreading it across the land.
I must get it just right.
Will help all in sight.

A tweak here and there.
A few things to spare.
Spare we won't.
Can't and don't.

Here it is.
Take this quiz.
Then you'll know.
Friend not foe.

Only a few sales.
So so many wails.
I think I need a tweak.
People just freak.

Take this away.
Make an easy display.
Take that off.
Now they won't scoff.

Sold some more.
But can't get it in a store.
I need to tweak a bit.
People can't understand this shit.

I'll pull this.
I'll give them bliss.
I'll yank that.
They'll chew no fat.

It's getting better.
I got a fan letter.
But still something's missing.
My ass they aren't kissing.

Take this away.
Dumb it down for the hooray.
Now I'll be a hit.
Can be used by any dumb shit.

I won the race.
I gave all a smiley face.
Dumbed my idea down to a Popsicle stick.
That sure did the trick.

Do you race to the bottom when creating? Can't have any of the dumb people hating. Have to make it understood by a 9 month old. That is how you get the gold. As in all the dough, not the medal. That dough can buy you a fancy new car pedal. May come with the car too. Wasn't dumbing it down for the masses great of you? Pffft I sure won't dumb down the sass that comes from my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Time For A Heads Up To Beat Each Hiccup!

The cat has heard it a time or ten. I know many others have at their den. Heard what you ask? Not the loo for a daily task. I guess that would be flushing it. Oh where my head goes bit by bit.

It's sure has been said,
That it's all in your head.
Much to your dislike,
For it really means, take a hike.

You can't get out of bed.
Hey, it's all in your head.
Zombies are going full undead.
Hey, that's all in your head.

Look, it's a tale.
Zombies that can't wail.
They are stuck in bed.
Could bore when out of your head.

Take a spin.
Do it in.
Down the halls.
Scratch at the walls.

The mind don't care.
It still grows hair.
At least for most.
This isn't a making fun of bald people post.

For what's so bad?
A fun time can be had.
It is in your head.
You control what is thought and said.

So give it a spin.
Could turn into Rin Tin Tin.
Did I spell that right?
Bah, in my head it took flight.

But it's all in your head.
Yeah. That's been said.
So friggin what?
At least it isn't in my butt.

Like...maybe...sorta...your head.
Whoops, my head wanted that to be said.
Hey, it's all in my head.
Nowhere it needed to be read.

This post is up there.
Got others to spare.
I can mix and match.
My head has no hatch.

Ever get that said to you at your sea? Whether afraid of something or some other thing comes to be? Oh it is all in your head. Hey, you control it so nothing wrong with what they said. For you can say all kinds back. It's all in your head at your shack. Heads up, as here comes some gas. That isn't all in the head of my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Who Did It Bit By Bit?

Right is happy today. Did you know that at your bay? You better know that right is happy or you may make right sappy. Right is ready to play. No left allowed in the fray. Right! Onward we go. Time for the flow.

With this detection,
We have no direction.
Right up there with an erection,
That doesn't get an inspection.

What do you think?
Brought your mind to the brink?
Think it would be an tion post?
All gutter now at your coast?

Wrong times two.
Poor, poor you.
But right loves it.
You added bit by bit.

Bit by bit to what?
A growing golden hut.
It grew and grew and grew.
Fools gold shines over you.

Nope. Collectors all aglow.
They are a shiny foe.
Wrong times three.
Bit by bit getting to thee.

Right is in love.
Just see above.
Love and an erection.
My, what a weird section.

Wrong times four.
Quite the tour.
Not even a three hour one.
Ginger or Maryanne may find it fun.

The Skipper too.
Hey, we won't judge you.
Oops, meant stand erect.
Another wrong we detect.

What's with wrong?
Can't play along.
What's with right?
Erect through the night.

For wrong is dead.
Got that, Fred?
Dead wrong you are.
Now right goes harty har har.

How can wrong be dead? Why is it even said? Do you use dead wrong? Does right or wrong play along? Is wrong like a mutt? Does it play dead at every hut? Hey, right must love it. Can't be dead right with any fit. Also dead wrong gets the call. Maybe when you are right you can't fall? So dead you drop. Like Drop Dead Fred at a sockhop. Hopping in socks might be slippery too. Oh look, we found out how wrong died at our zoo. Wrong died at a sockhop pass. Yeah, I'm a crazy little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

You Are Furry But No Need To Worry!

Humans sure worry a bunch. A lot of it is out to lunch. Oh, you'll worry about that to. What will I eat at my zoo? What can I have to eat? Can't be the same old treat. Could be a post there. But bah, why worry at our lair?

A worry has come.
It makes you numb.
Numb in the mind.
You're in a bind.

What will you eat?
Whoops, hit delete.
Been there above.
Look. There's a dove.

On you it may shit.
Worry about it.
Yeah. That is the way.
Worry about bird poop night and day.

It makes sense.
Maybe to the dense.
Dense and numb.
You should worry some.

But let's take a trip.
Let's do a flip.
A flipperoo for you.
Don't worry, it's not new.

You have a lump on your head.
You may wind up dead.
Bah, don't worry about that.
Could just be backed up scat.

You lost your job.
Got stolen by Bob.
Those bills you see?
Bah, don't worry about them coming after thee.

You can't afford to eat.
No contemplating in the street.
Don't worry about that.
At least you won't get fat.

You can't walk.
You can't even gawk.
But don't worry one bit.
It is normal to only be able to sit.

Oh look, a bird.
Worry about the turd.
Don't worry about the other stuff.
That is all just fluff.

Do you worry about nonsense at your sea? Has a bird ever shit on thee? Do you not worry about the stuff you should? Or at least stuff you should do something about at your hood. Sitting around worrying is never a win, but it can keep you from a street corner cardboard box bin. Especially if it gets you off your butt. Bah, don't worry and just watch smut. I think I hear the singing bass. He's going all Don't Worry Be Happy to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

A Don't Care Is Unaware!

Denial seems to be the name of the game. Maybe deluded adds to its fame. Or diluted too. As in brain cells have gone from some to few. Loads it may never have been for some. So we'll stick with some for many a chum.

Great is around.
It has a great sound.
An oh so great one.
Great has to be spun.

Wonderful, excellent and maybe even good.
Each can also be understood.
I'm sure there are more,
But that would just bore.

So we'll stick with great.
It has the most used trait.
You don't agree?
How dare thee.

No, really how dare you?
How do you dare at your zoo?
Is it by magic?
Damn, could turn tragic.

Get turned to a puddle.
Ideas sure can muddle.
Back to form.
Great's the norm.

It is just so.
I don't care what you say at your show.
Using great is just great.
It has to be our fate.

I don't care what you say.
Nope, not one bit at our bay.
Great is just great.
It has to be our fate.

Did I repeat a rhyme?
It was just such a great chime.
I don't care what you say.
Another little replay.

But I still don't care.
You must be aware.
Great is just great.
It is up to the plate.

Forget things like good.
Great is to be understood.
And you know what?
I don't care what you say at your hut.

Hmmm does one protest too much? If they don't care, why say it more than a touch? Secretly they just want you to agree. Are you a closet I don't care what you say person at your sea? Or would you just rather do what you like and have I don't care what you say take a hike? You humans make things so complicated, especially when what you really want is for your ego to get inflated. Now I'll go hawk up a hairball mass. I don't care what you say about it to my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

A Lounging Way All Social Today!

Here I am a sitting and a social moniker would be fitting. But there are no OMGs or TFBs that come due. So maybe social wouldn't work for the hip at our zoo. I guess it may or may not be true. But there is a place which you can embrace.

Time to scrounge.
You want a lounge.
Not a lounger.
Different kind of scrounger.

A lounge for all.
Sings stand tall.
Smokers have one.
Blah by the ton.

Lounges for strippers.
Lounges for tippers.
Lounges for shippers.
Boats or tv show dippers.

Lounges aren't rare.
Could sit in a pair.
A lounging double dip.
Think you huffed cat nip.

But one is out.
Out and no about.
Although some try.
Can we ask why?

Social media lounge.
We shall scrounge.
Oh look, one there.
You can lounge in a chair.

You can sit and type.
Or maybe you Skype.
Social media lounges are the rage.
Come in after paying a wage.

Out in the street.
Out for something to eat.
Out in the car.
Out at a bar.

Up a hill.
Having a thrill.
Fingers go broke?
Did you croak?

Guess what?
Don't need a hut.
Social media lounge in the air.
OMG mind blown at your lair.

Ever go into a social media lounge? Do you really need a place to scrounge? You can stop and type and poof, done. No need to pay for such a run. Of course if you stop in the middle of the street, you may end up dead meat. Doesn't social media lounges seem redundant a bit? For you can lounge at home where you sit. Enjoy the social media trespass. I'll lounge away at home with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

Not In A Rut As We Got A Big But!

Nah, not that kind of butt. We forgo those at our hut. And nope, we do not lie. Did that song now fly? Stuck in your head? Oh the dread. I guess that worked out weird. But that isn't the butt to be feared.

This is great.
This is grand.
It's sure first rate.
I'll give you a hand.

But there was this.
But there was that.
It just had this hiss.
No need for a spat.

But those aren't bad.
It is still great.
A fun time was had.
It's sure second rate.

Sorry, I can't count.
First or second..whatever.
It is still an amount.
Works for any endeavor.

But it may need this.
But it may need that.
Something could be amiss.
Like maybe a welcome mat.

But don't even care.
I still say it's great.
Maybe it's even fair.
But it sure is third rate.

I really can't count.
I may need a math class.
But still a top three amount.
So no need for sass.

But there is one thing.
This thing is rather abundant.
It sticks out like bling.
I swear I don't mean to sound redundant.

But...and this is a big but,
You are fourth rate.
You can't make the cut.
But it still was great.

It's just a big but.
I soon need to take this call.
It wasn't large like King Tut.
Okay, that is just all.

So buts can grow? Not those butts for show, but actual buts? Damn, you humans are nuts. Okay, maybe not. This doesn't need to be a plot. But could go big like BUT or maybe like BUT at each hut. Now that is a big but. Sure can make the cut. Do you like big buts and you can't lie? Or is it more the other butts you give a try? Do you go big with your but? Can't have buts that go put put. As in putter not put. Shoe's on the other foot? Damn, that is weird too. But could make for a happy Blue. Maybe a big happy Blue will come to pass. Bah, I'll skip the big butts and buts and just go with my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

So Many A Thief...Good Grief!

The cat would never do it. For it can stink a bit. Plus the germs that may come. Would sure curl the OCD of my rhyming bum. Or would that be tail? Bah, either or isn't a fail.

That is so pretty.
So let's do a ditty.
A ditty on pretty.
Sound like an old bitty.

Can there be a young bitty?
No? Is that a pity?
Maybe a bitty in the city.
Right, stop being witty.

A witty kitty in the city owned by a bitty.
My, aren't I quite the kitty.
Pat may take offense to that.
But bah, I'm a lying cat.

Wasn't the title grand?
It made you stand.
You gave a hand.
No? Bah, have some used sand.

What is that smell?
Been there where we dwell.
No need for a repeat.
The smell wasn't sweet.

It wasn't sweat.
It came from a pet.
So take a guess.
We won't confess.

Can you guess?
Life's a mess?
Boy, poor you.
Can't even achoo.

And why not?
It's a plot.
A plot by a tot.
Hey, they do it a lot.

Or so you say.
I killed many today.
Actually it was you.
You and a loose screw.

For I took it away.
That breath wouldn't stay.
A witty kitty in the city owned by a bitty.
Did it again, what a pity.

Do you humans think? Yeah, something may stink. Yeah, something may be cute or whatever else you want to call it. But is it such a hit? Can it really take your breath away? May need an epipen if so at your bay. At least some Benadryl. For that can't be run of the mill. Take your breath away? So you died this day in May? Damn, I won't get any comments tomorrow. Oh what sorrow. Did anything take your breath away? Got too close to a vacuum cleaner at your bay? Those things are scary when they take their pass. I knew it was a vacuum cleaner conspiracy against my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.