Pat Hatt's Blog, page 4

Time For A Little Beta

Would that be a little beta or a lot beta? I guess that would depend on how long one drones on, huh? And that can be done here with ease. Maybe they would see it and run. Or maybe they would see it and stay. Or maybe they are dead so they can't see anything. Unless they are a ghost. But can ghosts see? See how this can spiral forever? Now we are going to get to it before we undo too much yarn.

If you could choose one author, living or dead, to be your beta partner, who would it be and why?

Well I think I'd go with someone who is rich and famous and then that way when they promoted the book they beta read then it would sell a bunch and I could retire. It can be anyone. I'm not too picky. What? Artistic integrity? Pffft can't eat that. Give me the money any day.

Dr. Seuss would be a fun one though. Maybe his ghost will come to play. Makes more dead than most do alive. But then he can't spend it until ghosts get legal status, so he may be waiting a while. There is an idea for you. The ghost that got legal status. Then the family could try to kill it again so they can get to keep the money. My ramble can produce stuff.

Any authors you would like to meet? Are you a ghost believer? What do you think would happen if ghosts became citizens and kept control of their assets?

Enjoy life, forget the strife.

Time For Stock Photography Tips

So Jax over at Raviolis and Waterworks got the bright idea to share what we've been doing. Like the cat wants to share. Really? That means more people will cash in on the millions doing it. Oh, wait. What's one more to a few million. I think we're good. So let's share. We've been taking photos of EVERYTHING and actually selling some. Who knew crap could sell. I'm talking literal crap. We'll get to that. But if you are ready to put your photos to work for you then get to it. Upload them, write a description, enter the category, place in some keywords, and then hit submit. Easy as that. 

Start Your ShutterStock Journey Now!!!

What? You're still here? You didn't click the above link yet? You need a cat to explain more? Okay. I guess I could.

I'm looking at that link. Can't you see? Click and start when done. Good hobby and you could make some dough. Now on with it we go.
What Sells? What works? How do I get started? 
First you see you take the picture. It all starts with that and...yeah, let's skip to the more usual stuff. If you can't take a picture then you may want to just avoid this all together. So after you take the picture and sign up for an account you upload and do as described above. Need it again?
Description! Category! Keywords!Submit!
Then you hurry up and wait. They approve or deny and you once again hurry up and wait for a sale. Much like books or anything else it can take days or months to get a sale. So how do you up your odds? You submit stuff that sells. What sells? I'll help you with that.

BUNNIES! Bunnies sell. At least that I have found. Although you want clear shots. You see this one? It will get denied for things like film grain and focus. Get a good in-focus bunny shot and I find they sell. 

FENCES AND SIGNS! Yeah. I cheated and doubled up. But I've had signs and fences sell. Not sure why people want a fence, but I suppose it is cheaper than putting up an actual fence. Those things are super expensive. 

DUCKS! Ducks seem to sell. Not this one as they denied it approval due to focus, yeah they are strict at times, but I've had duck ones sell. A good tip for focus is if you zoom in a bit and it starts to get grainy, then you will probably get denied.

SCENERY! Now this one could take a long while. I've had scenery pics up for months with nothing and then suddenly a few sell here and there. So why not? It helps fill your portfolio and they aren't so hard to get, unless you live in a smoggy city or something.

RANDOM! That is right. If you want to sell on Shutterstock find the most random stuff and slap it up there. You never know what people want. Lots of times they won't buy the pretty pictures. They'll buy a glove on a pipe or...

POOP! Yep. You may look like a crazy person taking shots of dog crap as you walk, but guess what? They sell. I've actually sold literal crap. How many people can say that? I guess farmers and such. Don't burst my bubble. 

LOO! Are you sensing a pattern here? Yeah. Humans seemed to be obsessed with potty stuff. I've sold pics of bathrooms too. Not this one as it got denied. Want to guess why? Because you can vaguely see a logo on one. Anything with logos you either have to submit as editorial or they get denied. Good FYI tip there. 

FIRE! If things are burning then take pictures. Not if your house is burning down though. Get everyone out first and then take pictures. Hey. You may need them for insurance purposes too. Double win. But yeah, people sure like fire. 

TICKS! It is a good idea to take pics of things that cause stuff. Like ticks that cause lyme disease and co-infections. Why? Because people are looking for pictures to use when they write articles about them. Stuff like needles, ticks, fleas, etc. are universal. The more avenues they have to write about them, the more you may sell a picture of such things on Shutterstock or elsewhere. 
There is no one stop shop. If there were then everyone would be doing it. It takes lots of time and dedication. If you want to make a huge income, which is possible but not highly probable, then you have to work at it like any other job. But if you are just looking for a hobby on the side that isn't super complicated and may help pay your monthly fee for Netflix, Disney+, Amazon Prime, or whatever other streaming service you use, then stock photography may be for you. 
And Shutterstock is a great place to start.
What are you waiting for? Maybe pay that streaming service bill, put good use to your pics, create a hobby, and maybe even make a good chunk of change one day if you keep at it. 
Give Stock Photography A Shot Right Now.


I'm still looking in the direction where you should click. Follow those eyes and give it a shot. Good luck on your Shutterstock journey. Not that the cat believes in luck, but I'll still say it to be nice. It takes work, trial and error, and lots of clicking. No free ride, but no reward ever comes that way. And you may sell things that I never have or I may sell things that you never will. Depends on who views it and timing. Snap anything and everything. Don't hold back.
So sign up, upload, write a description, add a category, put in keywords, and then hit submit. It's that straightforward.
Submit Your Photos Today!

Time For Some Obsession

 

This outside thing was nice at first, but now that I'm out here I've spotted worse things than dogs, birds, and tiny humans. I spotted the big humans. The whiny, obsessed, self-absorbed big humans. I think it was safer inside. Oh, here we go. 
"It is my right not to wear a mask. They have no right to refuse me." BLAH BLAH BLAH
Boy, are you humans obsessed with those things. A little thing to cover your face is like asking some to cut off an arm. Woweeee. Simple minds need to latch onto small things I guess. 
You can not wear clothes too. Try saying they have no right to arrest you. See how far that gets you. 
Don't want to wear it. Don't go in and shut up. The workers making minimum wage don't need to listen to your bs. They've heard it a thousand times already.

Kitty, wouldn't that make you obsessed if you are talking about it too?
I'm not going on about it every hour on the hour. Different, furballs.
Oh. Oh. Oh. We can play too. This metal stuff sucks. We like wood. Chew it. Bat it. Chew it. Did we mention chew it? 
Are you going somewhere with this, furballs?
Kitty, don't be in such a rush. We are almost there. Wood. Yum. Humans love it too. Just look at how obsessed they are. A wood remake. Can it even be called a remake after 20 times?
What are you going on about?
Pinocchio! That wooden boy we'd like to chew. Can you believe that thing has been done over 20 times in some variation and now they are making it 2 MORE FRIGGIN TIMES!!!! And the humans say we have a short attention span. How many times do you need to watch the same damn story with the same damn characters? Humans. Only good to chew on.
You actually have a point, furballs. That's surprising.
Oh look. Poop. A snack.
And that ruins that.

Oh, look! It's water. I guess I could have a drink after all this talking. What? You want to build a house here because it is water? Water makes it better? A driveway that has a slope that is one step from an elevator is great? The same house 20 miles away is less better than here? Why? Oh, right. Water! 
$200,000 more for the same house, but it is by water. Water makes it so worth it. I mean it's water. Has fish poop and leeches and fish poop and mosquitoes and water. The water has water. That has to make it worth $200,000 more. 

Orlin, do you think there are any bugs here?
I hate ants. Ants and earwigs are nasty.
Yeah. They are hemorrhoids. 
Oh. Great. I mention bugs and now I have them with their obsession here. I better vamoose before they keep going.
Uncle Pattie, why are you talking about a moose?
Did you see a moose?
Moose are funny.
Moose are big.
Moose have big poop.
Will moose bite me?
Geez, you guys sound like the crazy lady...I mean clean lady and her birds.
Do moose eat people?
Do they like bugs?
Are they hemorrhoids?
Why are you going to moose, Uncle Pattie?
Uncle Pattie should have stuck with saying hemorrhoid over vamoose. At least they are starting their obsession training early.  
I think I'll find a spot to hide from mask nuts, water, bugs, and wood.And humans wonder why they are misunderstood.At least they never seem to let their obsessions pass,Which gives plenty of material to my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy life, forget the strife.

Time For The Top 5 of Two!

 

Thanks to Jax wanting to do a post with the cat, now not only do I have to share my couch with the tiny humans but I have to share my blog. At least I don't have to like it. Or have to stay. I'll let Pat take over. 
"Hey, tiny humans! Go listen to Uncle Pattie's drivel. I'm out."
"Uncle Pattie, was that your phone? Is it a service call?"
"I don't have service calls. It's just a lady bugging me."
"Is it the scary lady?"
"Nah. That is Nanny's friend. Uncle Pattie would block her. This one is just crazy."
"Uncle Pattie...is she a hemorrhoid?"
"Hemorrhoid is a bad word."
"No it isn't. Uncle Pattie said I can say it with him."
"I don't think she's a hemorrhoid, guys."
"That's good. Hemorrhoids are bad."
"She wants to know your favorite books though."
"Paw Patrol!"
"Pokemon."
"jaja ding dong!!!
"Which ones, guys? You don't want the crazy lady making the phone ding while you watch TV do you?
"I'll pick. Paw Patrol."
'jaja ding dong!!!
"Wanker. Hemorrhoid."
"Those are bad words."
"No. They are fun. Wanker."
"Guys, more books before the crazy lady dings."
"I hope she's not scary, uncle pattie."
"Or a wanker!"
"Hemorrhoid."
"Enough! I'm taking back over. You three never shut up. Now start talking about your favorite books or Jax may have a fit. By the way she is over here.
Tiny Human Number 1

"One two three four five six seven nine ten eleven."
"Stop, tiny human. Just pick 5 and stop."
"I like this one because it has a turtle on a whale's head and a scary witch house."
"Now wasn't that easier?"

"One two three four five six seven nine ten eleven."
"At this point I just give up."
"It has a ghost lion and a bad guy."


"One two three four five six seven nine ten eleven."
"I get to pop the bubbles. Pop pop pop."

"One two three four five six seven nine ten eleven."
"Dragons. Big dragons."

"Paw Patrol..."
"Please don't sing that song. On to the next tiny human."
Tiny Human Number 2

"Uncle Pattie, I just want to watch Paw Patrol. Can I ignore the crazy lady?"


"Cassie and Orlin. I touched Orlin. He likes me."

"Uncle Pattie, can we go dig a big hole at the beach? There is a beach in that one."

"I want to see what's on the tree. Oh. Look. Pokeball go! What was on the tree?" 

"There are strangers in this book, Uncle Pattie. Strangers are scary like the scary lady. Are we done with the scary lady?"
"No. It is hemorrhoid lady."
"No. I said crazy lady."
"Hemorrhoid." 
"Okay. Enough giggling over the crazy lady who isn't too scary and probably doesn't have hemorrhoids. Time to finish up."
"Wait, Orlin. Uncle Pattie has new books."
"Fine! Gotta show that he hasn't been completely lazy."

Click Here For A Peer!

Click Here For A Peer!

"Well that took longer than usual. Tiny humans, geesh. I need a rest. And yeah, they cheated and used all Uncle Pattie's books. Advertising at its finest. Humans."
And before I go, I'll add some flow.Yep. Two new books were released as Pat never ceased.At least with that stuff. Couldn't let me rhyme off the cuff.But at least, even if I had to share, this came to pass. And I still prove that I'm a little rhyming ass.
Enjoy life, forget the strife.

A Try On The Fly!

Since Pat is "busy" and such.Pffft don't trust him much.I think he is lying and just lazy.Or maybe he has just gone more crazy.
Can you go more when already gone?I guess if you ran naked on the lawn.I mean people do that quite a bit.It may be funny if they step in dog umm shit.
But then they should know better.Unless a neighbor, then write a nasty letter.Is that even a thing any more?The Twitter nuts would think it a chore.
Too many characters for their little mind.Weren't we supposed to be going on about the grind?I guess that would be me and not we.Pat is out and all that is left is me.

But Pat doesn't mind using me for this ad stuff.I think he is finishing up another made of fluff.Yeah, he has fluff in the head.My hair is there after he gets out of bed.
Hair to spare with COVID on a tear.Seems to be the way with each shaggy human pair.Could learn a new skill and cut.First practice on the kid or mutt.
Oh, we are really going everywhere.Are you random with long hair?Or is that just little old me?I always have things to say to thee.
Maybe it should be structured with a number.Could make some have a better slumber.Do those people even sleep anyway?No numbers and they weep and not sleep a day.
#9. Vacuum cleaners aren't meant for the grass.Maybe that needs to be a song for the singing bass.Don't vacuum nature. Don't vacuum grass.If you do all will avoid your crazy ass.

Boy, this is hard on the claws.I have to go rest my paws.It is easier to let Pat repeat my sass.Oh the hardships of my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy life, forget the strife.

The Form Has Chosen

The cat can go on and on and on and it may form this or it may form that or it may form that and this or this and that or it just may go on and be a rhyme any old time at the drop of a dime and become a run on sentence that makes you annoyed and the cat joyed and the dogs who cares as they yap in pairs and now I am done with my no comma or period fun. Didn't that just go anywhere? Yeah. I know you are used to that at my lair. Now on with the task of the quote and the ask. Two things? Geez, really want us to work.

Quote: "Although I have written a short story collection, the form found me and not the other way around. Don't write short stories, novels or poems. Just write your truth and your stories will mold into the shapes they need to be."
Have you ever written a piece that became a form, or even a genre, you hadn't planned on writing in? Or do you choose a form/genre in advance?

This one I sure can stick by. I just get an idea and go. I've had plenty of short stories that sure become longer than short and swapped genres here and there. Sometimes I don't even swap genres and just mash them all together. A cat time travel machine can do that, you know.

Not sure how much truth there is sometimes. Although when I write first person a lot of truth seems to seep in there. But many a story does just mold how they will as away I go. I do know the beginning and end and beats to hit, but other than that pffft. Who wants to think that much? Takes away writing time. Wait! Writing time? What's that? A lack of the cat? How rude, Pat.

Do your stories or blog posts go places you haven't thought about or thought they would? Do you agree with the quote? How are all in blogland these days? Blame Pat and the 9-5 for his lazy arse streak. And maybe that other spot too. And now we are through. Hopefully no germs got you.

Enjoy life, forget the strife.

A Changing We Go!

Times sure are a changing. Or have already changed. Or have changed and then some are trying to change it back or not accept it. How's that last one working out? A changing we always go no matter what it is. Well I suppose once dead you can't change that. Unless you fake it, then maybe you can. But that would change things too. Isn't change fun? I better change things up and get on with it.

There have been many industry changes in the last decade, so what are some changes you would like to see happen in the next decade?

Sure have been many a change indeed. Went from having to find a publisher to just being able to post any book willy nilly online. With millions upon millions upon millions of books out there, changes to sales and how one advertises have come strong. Systems have even become easier to use. Blogland sure has changed a whole bunch too. Less and less around here. The cat even went from every day to whenever he wants. He is more relaxed that way. But that is what changed. What would we want? Hmmmm....

Not sure what the industry holds, but I'm sure changes will come fast and steady. Maybe it would be nice if things didn't stay so one sided with a certain company having more control over everything than others. Not that it is super bad, as they have provided great ways to publish that were never there decades ago. But still...a big monopoly isn't always good and can hurt the little guys. I guess that would be what I wouldn't mind seeing.

What changes in the book industry would you like to see changed? Any industry changes elsewhere you would like to see? How are you doing with all the changes of 2020 so far? Still germ free at your sea?

Enjoy life, forget the strife.

Around Here Lately...

Can you tell I am miffed? Pat hasn't let me post in forever. So I had to find other ways to set loose my energy until he took the hint. What? I do this anyway? No. Never. Who told you that? Aren't you just glad to see the cat? What? You already saw me this morning? I guess you are one of our 10K followers over at the other place, huh? Yeah. We hang out there more these days. But....but...it is still Pat's fault. Don't forget that. See? I'm still mouthy too. Now on with it at our zoo.
#1 Stay in Place
Does this count? Is it even a thing? Such a foreign word. I guess being an "essential" worker kinda defies that, huh? Would you look at those woodtick pants? At least if he gets lost in the woods he won't be hard to find. Yeah, 8-10 hours a day out and about leaves little time for him to do much computer wise. I'll give him that. But it is still his fault.
#2 Face Mask Nutballs
No picture as we don't want to dirty our feed. Have you seen any? The ones who claim it is their freedom not to wear them even when a store mandates it? Then they fuss when the store won't let them in. Guess what? If it is your freedom not to wear it, it is also the stores freedom not to let you in. Do you whine when they say shoes and shirt is mandatory? Don't like it. Shop elsewhere. By the time your whining is through you could have been in and out.
#3 Growing Mutts

They are growing and holding their pee longer and they are growing to be less annoying to me too. Look at that? We are all in the same spot. I like one more than the other though, so far, just fyi. 
#4 Digging Down Deep

When Pat does have free time look what he does? He goes and digs a hole with the poop machines at the giant litterbox. How rude is that? At least he could have taken me with so I could use it and show them what it is truly for. 
#5 Crummy Cancer

Looks like old Cassie girl may be on her last legs too. Crummy cancer it most likely is. But she has been back and forth to the vet. Still hanging in there though. I'll give Pat a pass for this one.
#6 Babysitting  Poop Machine Sitting

Would you believe he goes off and leaves me in charge of these two? If you do, you may want to get your head examined. What? Not subtle? Bah, when has the cat ever been subtle? But hey, if he wants to Poop Machine sit then they should be sitting, not lying down. I have to wake them up and make it official.
#7 Scam-a-thon
Do people have nothing better to do than sit at home and try to scam people even more now? Nope. Don't want your pills. Nope. Don't want your fortune. You think I'm hot? Why so are your fake pictures. Block!!! Click this link to see you? Click my furry ass. Block!!!!
#8 Tweet a Little Tweet
Why do people put so much stock in that crap? All it is these days is a "buy me buy me" or "let's fight over stupid shit" or "scam a lot" site. Is it even worth it to have anymore? Maybe with a few select followers but with what it has turned into, always was bad but seems worse now, seems like it has outpaced Farcebook for the cesspool award.
#9 My Little Rhyming Ass

As for me...I've been to the vet for a UTI, kidney stones, acid reflux, and an allergy attack. So maybe I wasn't around because of that? Pfffft nope. Still Pat's fault. All good here now though. Great Nanny even said that "that thing will never die." Can you believe she called me a thing? Me? The cute one there. No way do I hiss at her and swat her and puff my chest out when she runs away in fear. Nope. Not me. Never.
Sorry there isn't a ten just to bug a certain someone's ocd. And that is all from me. Anything strike a nerve? You all masked out? Got some flashy pants? Still enjoy Twitter? How are things around there lately? By there I mean here if it is there to here at your place. Don't get hung up on here or there and just go with it here and now. Blame the there on the singing bass and the here on my ever so snarky little rhyming ass.
Enjoy life, forget the strife.

The Secret's Out!

I guess this post may need a secret handshake to enter. Do you know it? If you attempted anything then you are cut. We don't want any germy mitts touching us. You can keep your cooties. So there is a secret handshake for you. The secret is that there is no secret. Would that be a secret? Beats the heck out of me. I'll get on with it though before my secret not so secret is never again a secret.

Writers have secrets! What are one or two of yours, something readers would never know from your work?

Well considering there is a lot of me in a few of the books and that I have a blabbing rhyming cat that has been spilling things for a decade, I don't think I have anything to reveal. Would that be the big reveal? Could count. We can make it so by saying so, right? Made so. The secret is that there is no secrets. See? We were going somewhere with the blithering at the start.

I'm sure I have a few left though that no one knows, but then I suppose there is a reason no one knows them. Can't really think of any though, as someone knows pretty much everything. Even if it is just one person, that means it is no longer a secret. If one person finds out, unless you off them after telling them, you can bet another will and onward it will go. So pfffft to secrets and away we go.

What? You really really need one? Fine. It isn't a secret because it has been told before but I don't wear underwear. The cat has told you that many a time. Now you know for sure less the rhyme. Happy? Weren't you just dying to know that?

Do you have any secrets that you want to share? Are you a sharer? An over sharer? Do you hate me using sharer so much? Maybe you have had your fair share. Or not so fair share. Have you ever written a secret into a blog post or book? Are you undies free?

Enjoy life, forget the strife.

Dead Weight

The cat heard this here and there and Fundy Blue gave it a go at her lair. Just proves that many humans are truly dumb. Or maybe just naive with their head up their bum. Or both could be the case. Would they call that umm what rhymes with spit on their face?

The virus is killing.It sure isn't thrilling.But just the sick and old.They don't need to be in the fold.
Dead weight will be gone.Who cares about their spawn.They are no longer needed.Just make sure their wills are deeded.
But let's not stop there.Nope. There is more uselessness to spare.The welfare bums can kick the bucket.We don't need em, so fluck it.
Those parents gaming the system.Let the virus go down there and twist em.Then no more spawn will be had.The kids can be adopted, so it ain't so bad.
Next those illegals can go.They are so bad, you know.Let it take em all out.No one will give a shout.
The useless reality tv stars?No way. We have to protect them on Mars.They are so so so great.Old people and welfare bums can't relate.
People who just throw trash anywhere.Bah, the woods has room to spare.They are just using the space.We need them in the human race.
Rich CEOs and the like.They can't take a hike.They are far more important than a garbage man.One's President, so you must be a fan.
Rapists, abusers, murderers, child molesters, human traffickers, and other scum.They are needed, so don't be dumb.They keep prisons going and provide law enforcement with work.You should realize this, you selfish jerk.
The old can just die and go.No one will even have to know.But reality tv stars we really need.After all, they have egos they need to feed.
Pffffffft is all the cat can say. Actually I guess I said more above at our bay. Many of the so-called "old" people are using what they learned to create a vaccine or help with this crap. So you want them wiped off the map? And what about when you get old? Want to be tossed in a dumpster out in the cold? People are just super dumb. Normal won't be a thing for a long while and then some. So stop pretending like it will be and acting like it's only old people that will get pitched in the sea. For the record the cat doesn't want any to croak from it, but I wouldn't mind if some truly awful scum buckets took a hit. Now thanks to dumb humans this rant has come to pass. Such people can go get pelted by the stuff that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Stay away from dumb. They talk out their bum.