Pat Hatt's Blog, page 38

Another Whoopdi Is Startin With Martin!

That makes 3. This is like weeeee. I'm getting shows with ease. Some of them may even please. Robbie Raisin will be a household name. Each Whoopdi Friggin Doo will add to my fame.

Martin Kloess'sWhoopdi Friggin Doo
Today we'll put on a show. I just truly know. How could we not? We have some dude named Martin to give us a plot.

Her husband would lay it on thick
To prove to his wife he was sick
One day in this cause
He gained her applause
When funeral was his best trick

Que the funeral service commercials now. Do you have anything else that can wow?

Whenever I hear the word "we"
especially around family
I know that it means mostly me

Don't we all know that? Give us some juicy fat.

My son started talking with ease
My wife our young genius would please
But I grew concerned
With blah blah he churned
A breakthrough when I learned I’m Chinese

So you didn't know that? Maybe you can go to Asia and help our viewership which is flat.

(For) vacation I went somewhere new
To bid boring old world adieu
And how my brain shook
At world with strange look
From couch TV took on new view

Okay. Too lazy to go there. Anything you can do from your lair?

He took his dear wife by the hand
And shared with her evening so grand
And when he was through
When asked her review
Said next time let’s do as you planned

Planning things out is good for TV. But what plans came to be?

Oh what a tale
It made me wail
Logic set sail
Made me eat kale

That would be dull as can be. Don't you have anything juicer for me?

The family ran to the store
Convinced that they needed some more
When they had enough
And started to puff
They thought what’s this stuff really for

Are you trying to scare advertisers away? That kind of stuff you never say.

So weary of all of his blah blah
And how over breasts he’d go gaga
Though there was no lack
To wad that he’d pack
They gave the boy back to his mama

Breast feeding in public is a real hot issue. Better watch the crazies and I hope no one will miss you.

I woke up in a foreign shore
With so much I’d not known before
So much would I thwart
For safety I’d dart
From lady’s department at store

So you were there scoping them out? Ratings will go through the roof now that we have a peeper about.

That summer pool
may sound real cool
Till waters spool
of some fool's drool

They aren't great at that store? The pool isn't something to explore? Some women drool? That is just uncool. There you have it viewers everywhere. We got a peeper who watches women breast feed and drool without a care. Who will we have on tomorrow's show? I'm not sure I want to know.

*************
That sure made it look like Martin has some issues at his sea. Hey, he said it, not me. Robbie Raisin twisted things about. Have to watch what you let out. It's like passing gas. Some never let that go when it comes out my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Whoopdi Friday The Cox Way!

One episode down and plenty to go. This is going smoothly and may end up so so. I'm sure the network would be happy with that. Robbie Raisin is fine as you chew the fat.

Sandra Cox'sWhoopdi Friggin Doo
Hopefully episode 2 will pick up the action. We will need it to gain some traction. The network is watching after all. So, Sandra, how will you start the ball?

It pleases me to say, I've never been chased by a bear:)

Well...umm...okay. A chase would be better TV though and worth a replay. Now let's see. What does chase thee?

I'd love to be able to breathe and talk under water.

And we need to know that why? Care to give it a better try?

I'm not a pool girl, so no pee for me:)

So you want to be able to breathe underwater but not go in? Would that be considered a crazy person spin?

Give me a minute while I pick myself up off the floor:)

Why were you on the floor? Not sure our viewers want to know more.

Who'd a thought you could do so much with hands:)

Wow. The network may need an R rating. Not sure we are allowed to show mating.

You've raised stick men to a new level:)

Without the need for a pill? Viagra commercials will foot this show's bill.

Hope the birds at my house don't get any ideas!

They sure will now. But let's blur out any such birds somehow.

Better a break through than a break in:)
Though some of the Internet's breakthroughs (or the folks that do the breaking) are a bit scary.

Is that some kind of pillow talk? Or are you thinking blurriness is a win so no one will gawk?

My sister is one of those people that win everything. Big prizes. She won a trip to Hollywood one year.

Are you hinting around that you want a prize? What for? Mud pies?

Our dog is like having a small pony with a long tail in the house. 

And that is all the show we have for you today. I guess she wanted a prize for biggest dog at her bay. If our advertisers come through she may get a booby prize. Of course networks are full of lies. We'll see if this show passes censors and such. Sorry, it's on TV, so you can't reach out and touch.

********************Sandra sure got dirty a bit. Maybe the birds were having a fit. Birds in a whole other way I bet she meant. Can sure twist things with the comments sent. But that is all Robbie Raisin's fault. The comments sure don't halt. And now the second episode has come to pass. Plenty to go from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

The Whoopdi Begins With Ninja Spins!

Robbie Raisin is here with great news. We have gotten a ton of views. Whoopdi Friggin Doo is going into syndication. So we need more shows to up the elation. Now you all will get your say. I pity the viewers with some of the stuff you say. But every season has some crap. We need to fill the gap. Don't blame me. It was said by thee.

Alex J. Cavanaugh'sWhoopdi Friggin Doo
For our first episode what will you start our viewers off with today? Ninja tactics? Karate lessons? A Ninja star display?

The dog I had ate everything - records, shoes, coffee table legs, walls... I can see them eating her out of house and home.

This isn't the Dr. Phil show. Viewers aren't interested in knowing about your deep seeded life blow for blow.

A while back I had a giveaway during the A to Z Challenge and entries were whoever could comment first and one hundred. I had several who aimed specifically for number one hundred every day.

Now you're self promoting? Are you expecting Whoopdi Friggin Doo viewers to start voting?

I had to think about it. I say they.
Now if I go to my YouTube channel and watch the guitar solo, I can say me!

Well it is good you thought about it at least. Can we stop self promoting and get to the nature of the beast?

Most of those were forgettable. I do still enjoy Willis and the Die Hard movies though. However, Indy in a fridge? He shouldn't have crawled out, he should have oozed out.

So you have forgettable skills and have fridges? What next, are you building bridges?

Farming? Only if people want to eat grass. And the occasional dandelion.

Who is talking about farming? This show is going to be rather alarming.

I think you call that the difference between cats and dogs.

Are you back on that again? Maybe we should call Dr. Phil to our den.

One more wife? One is enough!

Or Jerry Springer could do the trick. Any other words of wisdom to add to this flick?

If I pay for something, I'm going to use it. Like my gym membership. It always puzzles me why someone would pay several hundred dollars and then only go a couple times.

Good you use things at least. Can we please get back to the nature of the beast?

I stumbled into that today.
Crave less with lasers? What do those lasers do?

A ninja that uses lasers, you say? Now that would make good TV and bring a replay.

Just hand over the Mini-Alex buried in the litter box and no one gets hurt...

And threats too. Now this is something to view. Damn it. We are out of time. Just when it was getting good and we could have hit prime. If only ninjas didn't have such a checkered past. Tune in next time when we have a new cast.

**********************
Look at the ninja go. He was first on the Whoopdi Friggin Doo show. Robbie Raisin better give the cat a kick back when syndication comes due. Did you know the ninja wannabe was so threatening at his zoo? I better bury a little deeper with the help of Cass. No one's getting in the litter box of my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A First Secure Burst!

The first to learn.The last to know. Take a turn.Away you go.
The last to learn.The first to know.Learn you earn.Away you go.
First step taken.First thought given.Something is bakin.Maybe even livin.
Just like my cheat.To keep the beat.Not beat the street.That so isn't neat.
The first to try.The first to fail.The first to fly.On beaten arse trail.
Not the first.Not the best.But not the worst.Passed the test.
Passed to fail.A passing glance.Damn that trail.Take another stance.
Trip over a stump.Step on a rock.Crawl over a hump.Pass through a flock.
Learned the in.Learned the out.Learned the win.Weathered the drought.
A first to more.More than first.With each encore,Quenched the thirst.
Can you be the first to try? Do you fear being the first to let something fly? First you have to give it a go. That is the one way to know. The one way to learn. Then second or third you can earn. The higher you go, the better the show. This way at least. Nature of the beast. Learned and grew. Didn't sit and stew. Or maybe sit and pass gas. Hey, it has to come out like that from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Another Page Added With Age!

And so the month of odes has come to be. You know what that means at your sea? It means something some don't like to hear. Some even run in fear. Or they just lie. Well at least they try.

The months tick by.
Some say they fly.
When our time is up, who knows.
But that's how it goes.

It goes in days.
It goes through life's maze.
Through a loving gaze.
Through a murky haze.

It goes with each.
Each day we teach.
Each day we learn.
Not knowing if we'll return.

But that's how it goes.
Through the highs and the lows.
It carries on each day.
Come in life what may.

The more you learn,
The more thoughts burn.
The more thoughts glow.
The less you realize you truly know.

But that's how it goes.
Through friends and foes.
The hustle and bustle.
The odd life tussle.

Just whelmed over or under.
With each crack of thunder.
That's how it goes.
The last day one never knows.

Continue on a path.
Survive another shit bath.
Digging and striving on.
Catching the view of another dawn.

Another obstacle or not.
Strength or gone to pot.
The days tick and continue on.
Even after that final dawn.

When's the end, no ones knows.
That's just how life goes.
Not everything comes wrapped in bows,
But that's how it goes.

Isn't age all the rage? I was going to make fun of it on our page, but then this popped out. So we gave it a shout. Another month older we all are now. Some may raise an eyebrow. Some may try to lie. Well at least they'll try. That's just how life goes. Now time to go chase some crows. They are trespassing on the grass of my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Swoon To The Tune!

Do you hear that? Are you following the cat? Hear is the key. Lots can come to be. Each plays a tune. Some may make you run like a loon. Others may make you swoon. Some may not before noon. Away we go as we tune up our show.

The rhythm and rhyme.
The subtle mountain to climb.
The top of the peak.
Reached of which they speak.

All to encourage emotion.
No need for a love potion.
Play or sing the merry tune.
Could beat a pot and pan with a spoon.

A spoon full of beat.
Hails over a sugary treat.
Although sugar may up the hyper.
Continue to bob and decipher.

Get lost in the like.
A mind sort of hike.
A cord that is struck.
For some a broken down truck.

Use what is known.
Add in your own tone.
Make it so that many can relate.
You have a three for one trait.

Loved and lost.
The life you tossed.
The work jerk.
That one little perk.

Driving the road.
Carrying a heavy load.
Climbing a mountain.
Hanging over a wishing fountain.

The topics are near.
Kick the thoughts into gear.
Bring back thoughts of the past.
Another time, another cast.

Nature has its own.
Each makes theirs alone.
Loved and hated.
Whatever is baited.

Head banging stuff.
Some country fluff.
Maybe even those teenage things.
Rock n roll could give you wings.

Have a preference at your sea? Do you enjoy tunes by the boatload as they are found by thee? Can sure bring back much and make one think and such. A foot tapping they may go too. Good thing a tune everywhere is in view. An annoying mutt barking may even like its own tune. To each their own at each sand dune. The cat may even be able to play a tune with his gas. Maybe I'll record it one day as it comes out my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Jump On The Court, Sport!

Are you ready to go? Come out and make it to the show. You can bore on TV. Or maybe make people yell at thee. Many you'll never hear. At least they aren't something to fear. So heed the calls and grab some balls.

Find one you enjoy.
Come now, don't be coy.
Enjoy it and play.
Play night and day.

The joy is there.
You must beware.
You must train to get better.
You may get that letter.

That is what you want.
Then houses you can haunt.
Everyone will look to you.
You'll be in the top few.

You'll become an over paid weenie.
The ball may be big or teenie.
You may not even know how to spell
But what the friggin hell.

You can endorse Coke.
Don't have to drink it, bloke.
Just pretend you do for a few takes.
A million dollars, heaven sakes.

Be part of a team.
It's everyone's dream.
Get traded like your cards.
I hope you like new yards.

Promote with the team.
Create a new income stream.
Beer Whatever, the drink of your team.
Reality is it is all a fantasy dream.

But no one has to know.
We say it, so it is so.
Believe and you shall achieve.
And when you die all will grieve.

But before that make sure to pay.
Can't let your publicist, agent and driver go astray.
And be sure to light up many a ball.
Whether they be big or they be small.

What? You no longer enjoy?
Bah, that was all a ploy.
Enjoyment means nothing in life.
Be the best and get a super model wife.

Don't you want to be a sports star? You could get watched by many a drunk at many a bar. Doesn't that sound good to you? Could date a super model or two. Could make big bucks. Could fool plenty of schmucks. Could lose the joy for it you had in playing to start. But bah, who needs to take that to heart. You could get riches in mass. Just keep the overpaid weenies away from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer. 

Update This Post At Your Coast!

The cat will update you on some things. Don't I do that every day out to the blog wings? I guess there isn't much to say. So I must be on my way. Stick around though. With nothing to do and everything working an update shall show.

All works fine.
Everything does align.
There are users galore.
No need to hit restore.

Everything is grand.
Everything is in hand.
Or at least on screen.
Like a good drink from a canteen.

Then it becomes sour.
Day by day, hour by hour.
There was nothing better to do.
So time people haven't a clue.

Update the look.
A whole new nook.
Update the settings.
We now take bettings.

Update the fine print.
Hide that under some lint.
Update the green grass.
Just to pull it out our ass.

Update the font.
Those colors may haunt.
Update the pages.
Need to earn our wages.

Update the address.
That will make a mess.
Update our tone.
No one will leave us alone.

Update...the bugs?
Do we look like thugs?
We can't squash those.
Don't let them cause you woes.

We could have took our time.
But bah, why waste another dime.
We could have left well enough alone.
But bah, our dog needed a new bone.

Update you soon on fixes.
Enjoy the new match and mixes.
Update us on what you think.
We really don't care though, you dink.

Don't you love the unnecessary update crap? Do you chew out the update chap? Not much one can do. Except not go to their zoo. Especially when the updates come in the form of pop ups, stupid comment systems, stupid stupidness and so much more. Are you ready to update your shore? We think we'll pass. After all, you can't update my already perfect feline little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Idiom It Up And Fill Your Cup!

A rolling stone gathers no moss. I guess that would be the stone's loss? Moss can be cushy. Although it could get bushy. But hey, some humans like that. I'm a non-judgemental, yeah right, rhyming cat.

Idioms are the bees knees.
Spout them out with the breeze.
They are really the mutts nuts.
Although many may be left in ruts.

Not in the know.
A mutt nut chopping they may go.
A searching for bees knees.
Either end wouldn't please.

A universal one for all.
One heard by all at the mall.
One heard by all at work.
One that is truly a perk.

A sitting desk gets nothing done.
Making up nonsense is all kinds of fun.
A ringing phone chases lonely away.
One could sit and do this all day.

Universal to one and all?
Could be a tough call.
Whoops, did it once more.
Maybe you'll find answers by the shore.

A shore with no prints is waiting to be tamed.
So good that it should be named.
A tire with no car is one wheel.
How does that make you feel?

A tree that grows out will never stand tall.
I guess that leaves many uninvited to the ball.
A Muppet with no song will never catch fire.
I guess they may soon go and expire.

A whiner in your ear can deafen your mind.
No wonder there is hard of hearing mankind.
A PC speech while have your feet licked clean.
Zombie feet would make that an R rated scene.

Whelmed with less over and under is whelmed.
Backwards and forwards that can't be helmed.
As rare as rocking horse shit.
That is some rare by a bit.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
Are these growing more in the know and blander?
Shit or get off the pot.
I guess idioms have a plot.

Do you fall into idiom land? Ever make up any in your land? Or maybe sayings too. Either or can come due. Some can be taken so wrong. Poor dogs won't be singing a happy song. If one were to piss up a rope that could be bad. Taking them all literally would drive one mad. They sure sprout up like blades of grass and provide plenty of entertainment for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Baa And Ha With A La De Da!

The cat went with this at the end and so it gave another trend. The end of the Farcebook show, in case you wanted to know. The grass eaters they are. Chowing down on all given to them like a vegan at a salad bar.

Hahaha you're so funny.
On you I'd spend my money.
You have such wise words to say.
All should go in the road to play.

All should fall in line.
From human to dog to feline.
You are just so wise.
It must be your soulful eyes.

Drink pee to heal body parts?
Can't find that at Wal-Marts.
It is just the best advice.
It is worth any price.

Bow and never question.
What a great suggestion.
I'll take it as gospel too.
Whatever you say is so true.

Forget my own name.
What a great claim.
Now I can be one with you.
That is just what I need to do.

Take everything I own.
It just makes me groan.
I have no need for it.
I'd rather find a tree and sit.

What was that?
No TP for scat?
That is just swell.
We can be one with our smell.

Clothes are too demanding.
Only can be worn by those commanding.
That is a great point.
Would you pass me that joint?

Now I'm high upon you.
Every word you speak is true.
I have nothing left to say.
Here is where I belong and will stay.

Spread the word.
Stay a part of the herd.
Never waiver from your stance.
Baaaaaaaaaa at first glance.

The cat could be a cult leader. Nah, then too many crazy nuts would be at my feeder. Do you follow blindly like sheep? Baa and ha at any old creep? Could be a young creep too. Hopefully that isn't true. One's own mind should be made up and not go ra ra ra with some other stupid butt sniffing pup. But if you agree, ra ra ra away at your sea. The cat may only give some sass. I'm sure you can handle that from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.