Pat Hatt's Blog, page 39

A Farcebook Way On Display!

The Farce is strong. All like to play along. They play and play and waste the day away. Are you one of those? The cat may pelt litter at you if you strike a pose. Hey, at least I warned you. So now's the time to hide from view.

It's a highlight real.
Real isn't the deal.
Most is a farce,
Which is ever so sparse.

All happy with delight.
All wanting to fight.
No guts in the real world.
But screens make lips curled.

Just have to say.
Ever single solitary day.
Just have to know.
Every high and every low.

Went to the store.
Opened a door.
So and so is a whore.
That and so much more.

You look so cute.
What a wonderful flute.
Having a bad hair day.
Fell in a litter tray.

Why aren't you liking?
My picture is striking.
You said so yourself.
Like me like Santa likes an elf.

Memes from me.
So great to see.
Like those too.
Like through and through.

Ego is is sparse.
Enjoy my sparse.
I need it more.
Care for an encore?

Went to the store.
Opened a door.
So and so is a whore.
That and so much more.

You didn't like?
I did a remake hike.
I did it all for you.
Won't you like me times two?

The cat could go on all day. But that may make me brain dead with all they say. Farcebook sure has a whiny mass. They must have chewed too much glass. It cut their brain. Now they have to share every pain. Oh poor pitiful me. Like me and come see. Do you go all Farcebook fun? Would it be fun to anyone? I guess the Farce is strong with sheep eating up its grass. I'd rather farce out the gas in my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Great Diet So Come And Try It!

The cat is going to get rich today. All you humans fall for it anyway. So the cat may as well chime in. That is sure a win. All kinds of dough while you humans believe what I say all aglow.

Imagine a bird.
One with big wings.
Now join the herd.
Look below at all the pretty things.

The wind rushing by.
The clouds all fluffy.
Soar through the sky.
Until things get stuffy.

That's when you know.
That's when you do.
That's the end of the show.
That's the sweet spot for you.

Come stuffy skies and rain.
Come lightning and thunder.
That's your true pain.
That's where you blunder.

So that's when you need.
That's when you do.
That's when sweat takes seed.
Time to work out for an hour or two.

Some may need three.
Some may need four.
Whatever the case for thee,
You must take this tour.

Walk uphill until your legs hurt.
Run downhill until your ass sweats.
Walk through some sandy dirt.
Shoot some balls into some nets.

Now lift big rocks nearby.
Throw them in a pile.
Don't you dare look to the sky.
Now run another mile.

Now run back home non-stop.
Don't you dare slow the pace.
When you get to your door, hop.
15 minutes of hopping you embrace.

Now go in and open the fridge.
See that water is your only diet.
No food, not even a smidge.
Now everyone go out and try it.

What do you think? Do I have a new fad diet at our rink? Will it be a success? It may kill people more or less. But not before they pay the first year's fees. And who says money doesn't grow on trees? Just trick a human mass and it comes to pass. Do you fall for fad diets too? Most are soooooooooooo true. And I am really a rhyming bass. Warning, don't try at home what was just said by my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Write And Write Day Or Night!

What am I doing now? Do you think it will wow? It is something I do a ton off. I do it, push comes to shove. Not sure I shove much though. I may shove the laptop off Pat's lap to create room or just be a foe. Okay, back on to task. Do you have to ask?

In the dim lit room,
With dust bunnies in need of a broom,
A half naked person stares,
Which could turn into glares.

The screen glows bright.
The fingers then ignite.
Type and type they do.
Some words may = poo.

But stave editing off.
The fingers won't scoff.
They'll type and type.
Forget things like Skype.

Chapter marker makes a stop.
This morning wasn't a flop.
Time to go and eat.
Maybe feed the cat a treat.

Time to watch some TV.
The computer is calling me?
Yeah, cute cat videos need a watch.
Oh, where is that scotch?

It's not even noon?
I can listen to many a tune.
The ideas will just flow.
Much later, I know.

May as well shower.
Use up a little power.
Eat another time or two.
Time I stuck to the keyboard like glue.

Staring at the screen.
It may need a clean.
Later it will get a wipe.
Arm works for a swipe.

If only there was a sleeve.
Sleeves are a pet peeve.
Need to focus on the screen.
Tomorrow it will get a clean.

Cursor is just a blinking.
Time to get to thinking.
Next chapter header complete.
Fingers and keyboard now must meet.

Familiar to anyone? I figured I'd give ode to the writer a run. The cat watches Pat do it all the time. Although I can't say he stares at the screen like a mime. Those fingers on that one hand don't stop. They bop bop bop. The cat would rather nap than write all day. How you writers do it beats me at my bay. I'll go back to napping and passing gas. It is so much less stressful for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer. 

A Numbered Count Of Varying Amount!

A post by the numbers today even though no numbers will be on display. So does that still count? I guess if we talk about an amount. Like the amount of posts at my sea? This makes 2700 and some from we. Probably closer to 3000 when this runs. After all, I am ahead tons.

Each and every day.
In each and every way.
Used and not thought.
But used a whole friggin lot.

Numbers for all.
They have a ball.
How many a ball can fit?
Yep, numbers take care of it.

Numbers that come.
Numbers who strum.
Numbers that came.
Numbers that went to a game.

To count or not count.
Doesn't matter the amount.
Numbers you mount.
Hey, plus size has a count.

Clothes to weight to an interest rate.
What you'll pay out of the gate.
How many sets you do.
How many hours until you're through.

How many days until Santa.
How many more until your trip to Atlanta.
How many times I cheat rhyme.
How many times you drop a dime.

How many craps a day.
How many hours of play.
How much the sun does shine.
How much snow may align.

How long you brush your teeth.
How many monsters are beneath.
How many beds in a house.
How many traps for a mouse.

How many times I used how many.
Could just sucker out with any.
How much the IRS takes.
How long it gives you the shakes.

Not thought, just used.
Numbers are always infused.
They make up every day.
Whether you hear them or not, they have their say.

I could go on all day. Actually all life with numbers on display. Are you a numbers nut? Are you in a numbered rut? Do you label them one, two, three? Does that give you happy glee? Did you realize numbers are used so much? Even hit them when you reach out and touch. This post is numbered at my sea. It is coming to be. I think it will now come to pass. So add another number to the posts from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

An Awesome Time For An Awesome Rhyme!

Are you ready for an awesome time? Today I give another awesome rhyme. I'm not sure it will even be read. It is so awesome you may have to go back to bed. Trust in this awesome post. It is that way at my awesome coast.

Something liked.
Something striked.
Something new.
Something true.

Something old.
Some tale being told.
Each the best.
Beats the rest.

A rest to best.
East to west.
Or west to east.
Nature of the beast.

Best isn't great.
Great isn't a great fate.
It's just not the word.
Don't be absurd.

It's even better.
Great's its sweater.
So stinky with sweat.
May even have debt.

Awesome it is.
No need for a quiz.
Awesome, awesome, awesome.
Whatever it is that will blossom.

From Pokemon undies,
To adult fundies.
It's awesome that popped in.
So awesome I don't know why at our bin.

Awesome you know.
Awesome it can flow.
Awesome I'm using it so much.
So awesome and such.

Such is so awesome.
So awesome it is awesome to a possum.
Awesome if you can say that three times fast.
Awesome whether or not you passed.

Don't pass on awesome.
Awesome likes to blossom.
It's such an awesome day.
It's just awesome, okay?

Do you find using awesome so awesome? Hopefully you don't sound like a possum. Ever hear awesome used so much? Do you use it more than a touch? Seems to be an awesome go to word for many. I guess awesome beats out any. Now I'm through with my ode to awesome pass. I'll now awesomely stroll away with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Clap And Cheer When One Is Near!

One just walked by. Oh me, oh my. I'm so.....whoopdi friggin doo. Yep, that's what I am at my zoo. Oh, another just did. Pfffffffffffft to any nuts who flip their lid.

Look at me. Look at me.
I'm a star on that there TV.
Maybe YouTube, maybe the stage.
Either way, I'm all the rage.

Come, fawn, stay, look.
You may one day get in my book.
It won't be written by me.
Not a word of it will come to be.

But I'll sign the page.
I'll collect the big wage.
Wouldn't you like me to sign?
After all, I'm ever so divine.

The two seconds you see.
That gives you a woweee.
I'm just that great and admired.
But I can't stay long, I'm tired.

Tired of being me and my life.
I have all of this very hard strife.
I have to get my toenails done.
I just don't have time for any fun.

I'm such a giver to everyone and everything.
Tell my agent to give the IRS a ring.
That donation will lower my income tax.
Why else do you think I did that ad for Ex-Lax?

I can act a role written by another.
I can stand in front a camera controlled by some other.
I can sit in a chair while my make up is done.
Sigh, life is so hard for me always being under the gun.

Bend and cheer and bow as well.
I deserve it even if I can't spell.
My brains may be all in my ass.
But hey, that is what got me that screen pass.

I do nothing substantial but still you bow.
I am more sacred than some kind of cow.
I learned that in a script years ago.
Why I remember it, I don't know.

But look at me, look at me.
I'm the one worshiped by thee.
Grab my gum, my wrapper and stool.
Sell it on eBay because I'm sooooo cool.

Are you a bowing down nut? Are you in some celebrity rut? Maybe a celebrity stalker? Could be their dog walker. The only way any nuts are like that is because the little people give them the power. Take it away, many will cower. No one to worship or obey their every whim. Probably don't even know how to use each limb. Do you pretend you know each celebrity lad or lass? All because they took a screen pass? Damn, are you sure that isn't bad gas? Let it go, maybe not in an elevator, like I do with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Feline Day Come What May!

The cat gets his own. Don't you know that at the tone? Does it have a tone? Beats me, go play with a bone. Hey, could go gutter there. But grab protection and beware. Oh where things can go at our show.


Here I stretch.I won't play fetch.But you sure will.Fetching the scoop fits the bill.

It's all mine.Don't press the feline.If you try and take,It will be a mistake.

This is mine too.Even if I use the one of you.Don't move it from its spot.Good. You are well taught.

See? It goes up.Can avoid a pup.But it is all mine.Being a hog is divine.

I told you so.A chowing down I go.Those little bits you'll pick up.Do I look like a pup?

Okay, if I must share.I will with Cassie at my lair.But my eye is on you.Don't try it at our zoo.

A grumpy pose.I can do those.The look of death.Could be your last breath.

Told you so.Reap what you sow.Don't reach up for me.I'll take the hand of thee.

I enjoy the sun.I'll stay here until there is none.You can go sit in the dark.So find a small place, take your butt, and park.

You were using this for food?Bah, don't be a prude.If you try, you'll get attitude.Everything around here is mine, dude.
Don't you love how the cat gets all? The cat even owns the wall. Pat just rents it from us. Sometimes we may even make him cuss. Hey, should have gotten locks for the door. He's just asking for it otherwise at our shore. Wouldn't you like to rule all like the cat? Even have someone clean your scat. That is a life with little sass. But of course some still comes from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Scarf It Down At Your Town!

Nothing can be done by you humans at all. Not without one thing nearby at your hall. You act like you are starving to death. Some dog waiting around with, or without, bad breath. At least you don't drool. That wouldn't be cool.

Say it loud, say it proud.
Do whatever to draw a crowd.
Once it's drawn, keep it there.
How? Easy peasy. Food to spare.

Have it set up on display.
Many more will come your way.
Grease and grime, dirt and paste.
Someone, somewhere won't let it waste.

They snack and chow.
They'll eat balls of a cow.
That many may see is bull.
True though, until they are full.

Can't get together without a snack.
Can't go out without a lobster shack.
Can't go down a corner without fast food.
Say it's not fast and you're just rude.

Can't attend an event or game.
Can't light a candle and watch the flame.
Have to have that extra addition.
Extra! Extra! This isn't Early Edition.

Driving and eating and driving and eating.
Even go out with some trick or treating.
A treat to trick and dress up like a clown.
My, food has sure taken over your town.

Can't go on a date or find a mate.
Can't go without food on a plate.
Or in a bucket or can or maybe your pocket.
Can't even go without it when attached to a rocket.

Additions, preservatives, GMO and more.
Damn any of that with each encore.
That fine print is so small anyway.
Just chow down and then go out to play.

Or play to chow down to play.
Redundant a bit, but what the hey.
That taste is ever so sweeter after.
Maybe store some spare food up in a rafter.

Say it loud, say it proud.
Fatten up the nearest crowd.
You'll have their heart and their loins
You may even gain a few coins.

Do you humans see yourselves sometimes? Or are you blind to it like mimes? Everything you do brings food in view. Some even eat on the loo. That is rather eww. And what some classify as food isn't really so. But that many just don't want to know. So those rats turds get mashed into the burger you ate. So you ate the equivalent of glue on your plate. The important thing is you had food in mass. Pffft the cat isn't even that much of a glutton little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Response The Same With Each Claim!

The cat has watched Pat go to a few and one question seems to always shine on through. I'm sure you heard it too. Maybe even asked it at your zoo. Are they that dumb? The why can even be answered by my little rhyming bum.

Different tasks.
Different asks.
Different tones.
Same old phones.

Pick up and dial.
Add to the pile.
The pile of time.
A waste ringing chime.

A question before.
A question forevermore.
A question in store.
Dumbos galore.

Why do you want to work here?
It comes ever so clear.
Do they expect something witty?
Doubtful when an old bitty.

Do they expect something profound?
Maybe a butt kissing hound.
Nose up their ass.
Adding to the hired mass.

Why do you want to work here?
Does it bring cheer?
An ego boost.
Come home to roost.

Why do you want to work here?
Kicks back into gear.
As if it ever left.
Question must have heft.

Why do you want to work here?
Surely does, oh dear.
Or oh fluck.
Go pass the buck.

Speaking of buck.
Maybe dough on a truck.
Maybe dollars or cash.
A wad full to flash.

Why do you think?
Look up if brought to the brink.
The answer is ever so clear.
Why do you want to work here?

Ever get that question at your sea? Of course a BS answer comes to be. But doesn't it most always come back to the money? Maybe they find asking it funny. For if you win 50 million bucks would you stay? Answer to that is usually, no way! Then it proves it is about the money in mass. Told you that was even known by my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer. 

Blog On Come Dawn!

A new dawn is here and here is a new post for you to peer. That is sure nothing new. Always one here to view. At least while the cat is going. On with today's showing. A blog for the blog. That kind of a hog?

Many come, many go.
Some put on a show.
Some put on none.
Some do it for fun.

The muse talks.
The finger walks.
Or maybe fingers.
Some second stringers.

Ideas a plenty.
Maybe twenty.
Then out they run.
They have none.

Fade away.
Can't play.
But those that stay.
Enjoy the fray.

A happy crew.
Ever so true.
A hand to help.
No need to yelp.

Interrupted here and there.
Great Post shows everywhere.
Maybe with a follow me.
On such follow back we pee.

Back to hopping.
A post is dropping.
Dropping on in.
Giving many blogs a spin.

Work it takes.
No hand shakes.
Just a comment crew.
Each ever so true.

New parts of the world.
New facts are hurled.
New things are learned.
Some have returned.

Many come, many go.
Some put on a Farcebook show.
But those that stay,
Sure are there come what may.

Enjoy the blogland do you? You must if you are at my zoo. Unless R came back with a Great Post. Then Blue may go coast to coast. Sure a fun community is had. Beats any crummy Farcebook pad. Been blogging a while at your sea? Gonna keep going a while more with a blogger spree? The cat will sure keep on passing gas. That is the same as posting from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.