Pat Hatt's Blog, page 185

Round Twenty Six With Stones And Sticks!

So another round has come due. They sure must like being in view. The strange just never stop coming here. I guess they like my little rhyming rear. Hopefully not literally though. That would be creepy you know.

"fat person on ground laughing"

What they can't be standing? Maybe you just want to see them expanding?

"batrachophagous animals"

There are many I bet. But sorry, no frogs for this pet.

"ayahuasca herz"

Going to get high? Hope you don't die.

"if i had a nickel i buy a pickle"

If I had a dime, I'd make you suck a lime.

"mooning granny"

So you like a wrinkly fanny? I guess you are uncanny.

"Sly stuff in my brain"

What kind of stuff? Is it like your teddy bear and just fluff?

"Nic Cage the astronaut hair plunger"

Ummm errr a swirly for Cage? That might bring rage.

"Cats in my ear"

No Q-tip will work I fear. Hope you can still hear.

"I ned a dat tat fin brah"

Good luck with that brah, you may just get a hahahaha.

"My fridge is talking to me"

Call a Ghost Buster quick. He will stop that dick.

"Yowling mating humans"

Errr ummm none here. The blue guy may be able to help with such a cheer.

"My little toe is hurting"

As long as blood isn't spurting you can continue flirting.

"Can I jump off a building and live"

Give it a try, I'd bet nothing that you fly.

"Horse treats taste great"

I'll take your word for it, mate. Is eating hay or grass your fate?

And the winner for today really will make you go wtf at your bay. I guess they are hard up or something. Could be a bad choice of words at my wing.

My neighbors orgy won't let me play
That could be good you know. No, std's could show. Although if the neighbor is within hearing you may have to suffer through their ummm cheering. Not sure how with each pass these nuts find my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Gung And Ho...Oh No!

So a while back at my shack there was a mention of a thing that gave an idea a ring. Gung and Ho should get their own book. I don't blame you if you don't give it a look. These two are nuts. Now they are in trash ruts.

Gung Ho!
Need a foe.
Gung and Ho,
Waited for the phone to crow.

They could stop all.
They just need a call.
Gung Ho was in business for weeks,
They weren't even called by geeks.

Then one faithful day,
A call came to their bay.
There was too much trash on the road.
So they went into super mode.

Super for them is who knows,
But at least they could strike a pose.
They set out to pick up trash.
Maybe them and the convicts would clash?

But nope!
No one who can't drop the soap.
Instead the Trash King,
Was letting trash fling.











Click here to peer!
So now they have super powers too. All trash related at their zoo. So if you ever need to take out the trash, give them a call and trash they can bash. And now another book has come to pass from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Little Play With Words Again At My Den!

There are some sayings that are easy to poke fun of indeed. Then there are some that make no sense at ones feed. Then there are some that can be either or. Let's go with them at my shore.

The pen is mightier than the sword.
Sure, a pen can sign an award.
It can make you rich.
But stabbed with a sword leaves you dead in a ditch.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Well it would be easy to eat for thee.
No exercise for poor old you.
Of course a clunk may come due.

When Hell freezes over.
Might be liked by rover.
They jump through the snow.
Plus you could put on a Disney on ice show.

God gave us the nuts but he doesn't crack them.
The other day saw this gem.
Cracking them gives you some work to do.
But they may get a crack if you piss off someone at your zoo.

Keep your head about you.
Saves you from being headless at your zoo.
Then a head you won't have to find.
But sadly, you can still lose your mind.

Leave no stone unturned.
You may get sun burned.
But work those muscles out a ton.
Isn't lifting stones fun?

Stick to your guns.
Could always scare tons.
But if stuck on you,
You may spend a lot on super glue.

Slow and steady wins the race.
The sun and smells you get to embrace.
But you still lose to the bunny.
Hey, at least it was sunny.

A penny for your thoughts.
You could learn lots,
And be rich too.
Okay, one of the two.

Cross that bridge when we come to it.
Look, more exercise to keep you fit.
You may end up out of breath,
But it's better than jumping off to your death.

There you are once again here at my den. Do you stick to your guns and give people the runs? That may smell. Cracking nuts could be a hard sell. Thankfully I am snip snip at my grass. So no cracking needed for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Special For You At Your Zoo!

Ever go and see a special edition in front of thee? Of course you did. Unless you are a strictly indoor kid. But that would be a shame. Hey, could have called you an underwater squid with my claim.

You got something new.
So nice at your zoo.
New is relative too.
But been there, done that in view.

Then you see,
You aren't in the special tree.
Nope, not like the short bus.
Drazin is on that giving a fuss.

Instead you missed out.
The special edition they shout.
You missed out on that car,
With its own special liquor bar.

That movie was great.
But missing was your fate.
A whole 5 minutes of behind the scenes,
With a bunch of dancy prancy teens.

What about the house?
You may have got mighty mouse,
A statue that is.
But no special biz.

That is right.
You missed out that night.
No staircase for you,
It was taken to a new zoo.

Hmm Richard Pryor movie I think.
You didn't even get the kitchen sink.
You skipped out on the special edition.
Now you get the alleyway admission.

But you got a great game.
It is far from tame.
Shoot and maim,
What's his name.

Oopsy you missed out.
Gamer rage scream and shout.
That helmet would have been great.
A storm trooper could have been your fate.

Don't forget the special edition shoes.
Skip them and you may get the blues.
That logo is so grand.
You need it or else they'll look bland.

Are you up to the task? You may get a special edition Obama mask. Wouldn't that be so great? Come and take the special edition bait. More dough you have to spend and just a little more crap we send. No need to miss out and sass. Trust the special edition of my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sit And Fret With An Are We There Yet?

The other day the cat was in the car and of course one of those whiny humans was as we went to that other sand bar. The cat had to plug his ears, worse than rusted car gears.

Are we there yet?
Is a safe bet.
It always come due.
A time or two.

Nope, a ways to go.
Look at that wind blow.
I'll bite your toe.
Then you can crow.

Are we there yet?
Does it look like the needs are met?
Does it look like the car is stopped,
And out you are plopped?

I have to pee?
Leave me be.
Hold it I say.
Yeah, the cat is mean at our bay.

I still have to pee.
Still leave me be.
Look at the sky.
Think about pie.

Are we there yet?
No, you can't pet.
Keep those fingers away.
Kitty doesn't want to play.

I really have to pee.
Clench each knee.
Geez, we need a litter box,
Or maybe just use your socks.

Are we there yet?
Needs still aren't met.
Look for something blue.
I am not giving you a clue.

I am going to pee.
You better stay away from me.
Go in a bush.
Careful for things may bite your tush.

I no longer have to pee.
It came out of me.
Are we there yet?
Nasty and annoying you are to the pet.

Never fear, a bathroom was found near. One of those nasty public restroom places. Pat made a few nasty faces. Cassie just rolled her eyes. Don't they ever get tired of the same old cries? The cat may just prefer the canine mass. At least all they do is sniff my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

And Yet Another One To Put In A Bun!

So they can't beat the cat, I meow and swat and they all scat, which means they try and add more to their crew. They will never beat me even if they have a whole zoo.


The cat goes to the other sea,And you can tell I'm not happy. Put there is room to run,And swatting the other cats can be fun.

See, they know to stay away.I rule even their bay.That puffball has nothing on me.It is one big hairball kitty.

They are everywhere.Cassie is nicer at their lair.I'd swat that one too.Yep, even if sleeping, it is true.

Their army gets their tummy full,But they still have no pull.I jump out and they scatter.Hey, saves them from getting fatter.

And you remember the hot dog.He also travels through that bog.But his tail is so fun to chew.I can chase him away too.

And then there is the huge mutt.She always wants to sniff my butt.I don't like that one bit.On her I should take a big umm spit.

See, can't even rest.They are such a pest.One tries, then the other.Glad it isn't my brother.

They stampede my gate.But out is still their fate.They won't get into my room.Cassie will surely cause them doom.

And here is the next hot dog.Why don't they get a frog?Technically it will be a cousin though.So won't always be there when to the other sea I go.
 
But this is the end.Their army can't buck my trend.All dogs and cats there but Cass,Can kiss my little rhyming ass.
Now the cat has to deal with ten cats and three dogs when there, at least sometimes at the other lair. Thankfully they will all run away, except the big mutt on display. But Cassie takes care of her, as she puffs up her fur. I take care of the other eleven when we trespass. Those are fine odds for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

You Must Pick Or Get Beat With A Stick!

Ever have that dumb question at your sea about which is better to thee? And it isn't so dumb to ask. But then you MUST answer one of the other and pull back the mask.

Answer what I ask,
It's an easy task.
Just pick one.
Both don't count in my run.

Batman or Superman?
Can't be a both fan.
Broccoli or pickles?
No picking ice sickles.

Cats or dogs?
Easy, the one with no brown logs?
Gerbils or Rats?
No, you can't pick gnats.

Hat or bow?
Neither can't show.
Car or truck?
No saying umm duck.

Ninjas or ninja wannabes?
Don't look at your knees.
Kindle or book?
Don't give me that look.

Math or french?
No hitting the bench.
Movies or TV?
Different to see.

Apartment or house?
Not asking the mouse.
Clothed or nude?
Don't be a prude.

Climb or swim?
Pick on a whim.
City or town?
Might win a crown.

Spider Man or Iron Man?
Both is still a ban.
Cookie or candy?
Not whatever is handy.

Answer today.
Don't delay.
I must know.
Neither or both is a no go!

Now wasn't that fun? Don't you feel like answering a ton? You have to pick or they question asker makes it seem like they will give you a lick. That is just crass. But then again, I do lick my own little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Another Movie For You To View!

So the cat is making millions off his previous movies that he made. Yep, the golden bricks are sure laid. What? You don't believe me? Just look at this next 100 million gem at my sea.


The world is in the crapper.Not only do people eat the candy wrapper,But now they mimic a horse.They have horse ass hair and run a course.

It is driving them mad.Horse ass hair at ever pad.Just look at those eyes.All believe the lies.

They even sing it out with glee.Horse ass hair for all to see.Sing it once more.They like an encore.

Even the bald pretend.All have gone around the bend.See that big hat.He is wishing for horse ass hair at his mat.

It is even spreading to dogs.No longer can they enjoy brown logs.Instead they have to have horse ass hair.They aren't happy at their lair.

It comes in all colors to.Whatever can the planet do?How will Earth survive such a plague?Is the outcome still vague?

If you don horse ass hair,You turn into something more rare.A teeny tiny lizard head comes forth.It is even spreading far north.

Who are they going to call?A killer barbie doll?Hey, she has a big gun.She attempts to put horse ass hair on the run.

Brains are dissected as well.They have to determine this hell.And when it is all said and done,They learn the true meaning under the sun.

 The aliens put the notion in everyone's head.They are tired of the dread.Having an ass for a head was no fun.So they decided humans would have a brand new hair bun.
So are you all ready to go to the movie picture show? There you will see this at a theater near you and it will be quite the view. Will humans overcome the horse ass hair? I guess you will have to see at your lair. The cat can now retire with his box office takes that come to pass. I am such a lucky little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

A Little Social Play Here Today!

Back we are with some ABC's of Rhyme Time near and far. This time we give social media a go. Hey, at least it is a different flow.

A is for attack, which many tend to do.
They can give flack but can't take any from you.
B is for big, those numbers and all.
Can't look like a twig, ready to fall.

C is for cute, the thing to use,
When in need of a parachute to light a post fuse.
D is for dead, what many sites fall under,
Can't get it through their head they just can't plunder.

E is for eating, all that fun food.
All should be treating, a diet is rude.
F is for fat, because it simply works.
An annoying gnat with 10,000 word post perks.

G is for great, the trait of one and all.
That is their fate, read the writing on the wall.
H is for hell, raise a little at your sea.
Even if you can't spell, people will flock to thee.

I is for idols, your great old shrine.
Even with no vitals yours is divine.
J is for joke, the tried and the true,
But don't choke, most steal those too.

K is for knowing and never being wrong.
Your great showing should be made into song.
L is for load, what can become of a place,
That remains in K mode for every embrace.

M is for milk, that nasty old dairy.
You continue to bilk thinking new is scary.
N is for nadda, the I have nothing to post.
But you still yadda yadda there at your coast.

O is for out, the one with a catch.
For with each shout, you want another to fetch.
P is for pat, no not the human to the cat.
For you want one stat, to prove you're where it's at.

Q is for quote, to make you sound smart.
Hoping all will take note and follow your cart.
R is for right, which you must prove.
Always wanting to fight avoiding the wrong groove.

S is for slacker, which some like to be.
But then become an attacker because none visit their sea.
T is for tips, all are willing to share,
After you do a few flips because they are so rare.

U is for urges. not the gutter kind.
That one never purges, giving a piece of their mind.
V is for vine, where you heard the news.
It is all fine, listening to vines you can't lose.

W is for word verification, which is you lose,
Here at my absurd station, I may just abuse.
X is for xerox, the copy and paste.
Unless going through detox, forget that post haste.

Y is for Yahoo and answers to all.
Up the wazoo you can read things on its answer wall.
Z is for zapped, you are so worn out.
Your muse has been capped, scream and shout.

There we go, quite the social media flow. The cat enjoys a rant or two, even in the abc's he can do. You can't stop the cat at my mat. You may have luck with that singing bass, but not my abc little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

The Slacker Rhyme Just One Time!

Everyone and there dog can do this. Yep, even the butt sniffers can have a little rhyming bliss. But the cat thought he would just show that you can make anything rhyme in a row.

I bet I gotcha.
Gotcha smutcha.
Did you just turn orange?
Orange porange.

Wow, you must be ecstatic.
Ecstatic schmatic.
Now all can rhyme gigantically.
Gigantically figantcally.

Spell check is in displeasure.
Displeasure, smishpleasure.
Must think I'm off my rocker.
Rocket, focker.

Quoting a movie?
Movie, shmovie.
Notice how S is a whopper?
Whopper, smopper.

So just add S in unison.
Unison, moonison.
Well the screwed that theory.
Theory, smeory.

Make up your psyche.
Psyche, likey.
Guess I need to change the locks.
Locks, schmocks.

That the same as schmucks?
Schmucks, ducks.
That one was real.
Real, teal.

Two in a row.
Row, schmo.
Make that three.
Three, schmee.

Your streak is diluted.
Diluted, smitooted.
Passing gas at house?
House, schmouse.

What if I go ummm duck.
Duck, schmuck.
So it is a backwards challenge?
Challenge smallenge.

Are you one of those rhymers at your sea who make fake words up with glee? Just nod and agree. I know you like it easy. Easy peasy! See, I even let it come to pass. But no need to force rhymes out my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.