Pat Hatt's Blog, page 182

Blogvengers Part Three, Zombies Still On A Killing Spree!

Chapter 3
Smell The Flowers
Zombies With Powers
     Pat awoke to being poked by a stick. He was startled and swatted the thing like it was a Lyme diseased tick. He looked up to find Anne in some Amazonian type outfit. Orlin let loose a hiss and spit. Cassie just licked herself while Elsie slept like a strange little cyclops elf. Drazin just shook his head, thinking he was in for more dread.
     "Drazin knew where there was the cyclops there would be the Irish."
     "What are you supposed to be? Xena?"
     "Quiet you eejits. Why did you take my bride?" Anne smacked Pat over the head with her stick. He was ready to pelt her with a brick.
     "Damn it! That hurts. Take your Hitler Xena someplace else."
     "Drazin thinks she is the crazy one this time. At least crazier than usual." Drazin's eyes glowed a bright red as Anne whacked him over the head.
      "You eejits are on your own this time. This sewer is my palace and Elsie is my bride. We are lesbian Amazonian princesses in this place." Anne declared with a sincere look on her face, for everyone else that was not the case.
     "Yep, the godly mook is right. She's gone crazy." Cassie stopped licking and moved back not wanting to suffer an Anne attack.
     "Maybe she sniffed too much paint or that manure in her garden went to her head and her brain it did taint."
     "Cat, shut up you arse licker." Anne tried to whack the cat but he was too fast and avoided that.
     Elsie finally woke up to the laughter of the group. They thought Anne was throwing them for a loop. But silence overcame them as Anne helped Elsie to her feet. Their lips then gave each other a treat.
     "Drazin can't say Drazin didn't see this coming." Drazin curled up his nose and got to his feet. He was ready to leave them and get back on the street.
     "Let's leave Xena and Old One Eye to their umm pleasures." Pat stated as he began to follow Drazin out. The two cats followed but all stopped when Anne gave a shout.
     "You are welcome to stay under my rule."
     "Drazin would rather get eaten by zombies."
     "I'm with the godly one. Anne suffering from manure in her brain is so strange I just want to run." Orlin trotted off ahead of Pat. He just shrugged and left Anne and Elsie where they were at.
     The group stepped out onto the street and they could hear Anne singing a tune. It kind of sounded like she was howling at the moon. They knew that may bring zombies near, so they all ran away in fear. They kept going until they came to a shopping complex. Drazin kicked the door in after a good flex. Pat and Drazin locked the door tight and everyone turned around ready to fight.
     "Do we really need to star in another Dawn of the Dead remake?" Pat muttered as they looked for trouble, but the place was spotless, there was not even any rubble.
     "Pat, this must please your OCD. It is so shiny."
     "Yeah, as shiny as the godly mook's bald head."
     "Shut up, fleabags. Drazin will turn you to slippers."
     "Intruders! Intruders! Intruders!"
     The group stopped bickering as they glanced around, each trying to find what kind of trouble would be found. The alarms rang out across the store with flashing red lights after every "Intruder!" encore.
     "Oh isn't this just great. We go from Dawn of the Dead to Short Circuit meets Avatar." Pat yelled when robots came into view. There was a whole army of them and they were all blue.
     "Drazin really really hates robots."
     The robots marched toward the group with their fingers pointed at them all. Then they peeled back like a fold up wall. Guns appeared on each finger. The group took off not wanting to linger.
                                    ****************************************
     A cheery lemonade stand with flowers all around it stood at the edge of a pit. Rosey and Theresa sat there smiling wide. In their free lemonade and flower giveaway they took such pride.
     "Rosey, here comes a zombie. Let's give him some free flowers."
     "That is a great idea."
     The pair giggled like school girls in their seats while the zombie looked at them like they were treats. Rosey stood up and stuck out her hand. The zombie thought an easy meal was grand. It stepped up almost to the table and Theresa waved bye. She hit a button and the zombie fell through a trap door, proceeding to fry. Rosey dropped the flowers down behind it. The pair then gloated quite a bit.
     "That makes  nine hundred and ninety eight zombies killed, Theresa!"
     "Two more and we've got the record. I just know we've got the record. If anyone argues they can go down the hole of doom."
     The pair cackled some more and seemed to enjoy the zombie gore. Two pairs of eyes stared on from a bush. They both then yelled as they got poked in the tush.
     "Bryan, your fat ass got us caught. Maybe you should lay off the beer."
     Brandon and Bryan were forced out of their hiding place by another, one old enough to be their grandmother. Manzinita pushed them along with her walking spikes. The pair began picturing their head on pikes.
     "Bryan, what do you call a headless beer guy?"
     "Is now really the time?"
     "Light beer."
     The pair snickered and watched Rosey and Theresa's eyes light up as Manzinita lead them to the table like they were a leashed pup.
     "These two zombies make one thousand!" They both declared and the beer guys knew they had no hope of being spared.
     "I knew we should have never went into a woman's purse."
     "Where is a freegan when you need one?"
     "Wait! They talk?" Rosey stood stunned as she looked over the pair. Theresa simply did not care.
     "These two are a pair of those special zombies, they have the power of speech." Manzinita pushed them to the front of the table. The pair tried to explain that it was all a fable.
     "We only look like this because we tried to blend in. Have mercy on us."
     The three women did not seem to buy it. They thought they were a couple of crazy zombies that needed to go to the pit. All three stood with their arms crossed. The beer guys knew they had to get lost.
     "Well we will just be going now. No trap doors for us."
     "They must be psychic zombies, Rosey. They know about our trap." Theresa held her hand over the button in wait, ready to send them to a fiery fate.
     "I'm not so sure."
     "Lies, all lies!" Manzinita declared and whacked Theresa's hand with her stick. It went down and the beer guys heard a click.
     "Blood thirsty old coot. We beat zombies but were done in by a geriatric."
     "She must have some really good beer."
     The beer guys fell to their doom, melting and charring like fire would to a mushroom. The three stood over their pit and each dropped some flowers into it. They danced and cheered as a few more zombies neared.
     "One thousand! We have hit one thousand kills."
     "Why not make it two thousand." Manzinita sat down behind the table and grinned. She was ready to kill all who sinned.
                                          ****************************************
      Drazin hurled a weight at the nearest robot as he hid in a fitness store. Pat grabbed a surf board and let it soar. It took off the nearest robot's head. Cassie and Orlin both hid in a nifty cat bed. It was more of a box. But they were just glad it did not have any smelly socks.
     "There are too many of these things. Where the hell did this i, Robot nonsense come from?"
     "Drazin does not know, but Drazin has had enough. No one shoots at the Great God Duke Drazin."
     "The godly mook is dead."
     "Yeah he is toast. I wonder if robots eat roast?"
     Pat and the cats watched as Drazin steadied his golden armor and trotted out with what looked to be a pitchfork of a farmer. He dodged and ducked and stabbed each robot that was near. A bullet or buzz saw did not even graze his ear.
     "The godly mook has been practicing."
     "Pat, why can't you do that."
     "Hey, I have Truedessa in my head."
     Drazin curled his nose up as he stood over the busted machines. They were torn to pieces from wheels to robot spleens. All of their parts lied on the floor. That is when the group heard, "Encore! Encore!" They all searched for the voice that was clapping. It was some little twerp that was yapping.
     "Drazin is going to..." Drazin stopped as the twerp pulled out a gun. He pointed it into the broken store window acting as if the chaos was fun.
     "Don't go and spoil things. Fact, we got off on the right foot. Fact, you are way more fun than video games. Fact, I have better aim than them and will kill you."
     "Is he trying to see how many times he can say fact?" Pat perked up his ears and then smiled as he spotted spears.
     "Truedessa must be leading him again."
     "Yeah, he sucks on his own. I guess she saves him at the tone."
     Cassie and Orlin ducked down in their box while Pat sneakily grabbed the spear gun and looked ready to hunt ox. He pointed it over Drazin's shoulder and closed his eyes. A few seconds later he opened them to find Drazin's red eyes and the twerp giving cries.
     "What? I only grazed your face a little." Pat threw the spear gun away as Drazin looked like he wanted someone to pay.
     Drazin marched out of the store and burst out laughing as he saw the full body of the twerp that shouted, "Encore!"
     "This almost makes up for Drazin getting shot by the fleabags crazy human."
     Drazin stood over Adam as he reached for his gun. His upper half of his body was normal but his bottom half was smaller than the gun. He was half mini, half large. Adam wished he had more robots to charge.
     "I'll let you live here with me. Don't hurt me. that zombie shrunk by bottom half." Adam flung his hands in the air but Drazin just did not care.
     "Don't let him do this."
     "Hey, you said fact one too many times. And blue robots? Really?" Pat shrugged as Drazin dragged Adam away. He stuffed Adam in a closet and threw in a food tray.
     "Come out of there and Drazin will string you up and use your bottom half as fish bait. Hell, the fish may not even get filled by that."
     The group all chuckled as they explored the mall. Cassie and Orlin started running up and down every hall. They all felt safe for the first time since they arrived, each one glad that they had survived. They found plenty of water and food and continuously ignored the cries of Adam who said it was a fact that they were rude. They all settled in the security office and loaded up on guns, as they looked on the security feed and outside the main entrance they spotted zombie nuns.

*****************************Dawn of the dead rip off today. At least a bit at my bay. But zombies nuns can't be beat or can the group leave them in defeat? I guess we shall see what comes to be. Now part three has come to pass, as you curse my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.

Worms And Fluoride Heads Are Off Their Meds!

That title may throw you for a loop but it works as Manzanita comes out from her chicken coop. What? Would you rather I say hut? Now on with the fun as we offend fluoride heads under the sun.

So the cat has a worm queen today.
I just checked my litter tray.
No worms are there.
Aren't you now a happy camper at your lair?

The day is young do you agree
Still lots of time for a big worm spree
We'll see who camps happy by the setting sun
When worms in the litter squirm by the ton

How is a day young?
Is your bell rung?
It isn't fluoride in your head,
So did you fall out of bed?

Fluoride bobble heads for the car
Squishy worms in a big fruit jar
Decorations make all the bells ring
Shrink-wrapped suit and sing, baby, sing

Wow, you must be some sort of witch.
Creating worms and fluoride heads at the flip of a switch.
Then shrink wrap them like some voodoo doll.
The shrink wrap rap could signal last call.

Eyes that flash like a railroad crossing
Two front teeth could use some flossing
Last call take steps two by two
The Shrink-wrapped doll is chasing you

Might be difficult to catch the cat,
Tripping over shrink wrap and going splat.
May need to look into new ventures,
How about, "Manzi's Sidewalk Dentures?"

No dentures yet for this old broad
Fluoride in toothpaste is such a fraud
Cat thinks he's a cheetah can win any race
But when he loses will go down in disgrace

But if the cat is caught,
One's nostrils may rot.
It is a safe bet,
Just ask the vet.

I asked the vet and he said, Whoa,
His house is in the village though"
The time is here I rest my case
Just empty words from a Fluoride Head's face

And there you go, another down at my show. This time Manzi even got a new venture at her sea. Aren't I just so helpful with my rhyming glee? Oh and just so you know, no fluoride heads were harmed in the making of this show. At least not at my grass. I can't speak for Manzi or she may come after my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

With This Ploy, Poof Goes The Toy!

So here we are at my bar, yapping to commentators near and far, blabbing on with a big story and now for a break it's another book in all its glory. You did not think such things would stop that here at my mat?

A boy lost his toy,
It had to be an evil ploy.
He searched high and low,
Where ever did it go?

In comes a mutt,
That likes to sniff a butt.
He joins the search,
Scouting out every perch.

They look all over.
He is a helpful rover.
But they still can't find it,
The boy throws a fit.

Maybe trolls took it.
Maybe ogres for a bit.
Who really knows,
But he has to beat the foes.

Who took the toy?
Come now, don't be coy,
You can tell.
You'll just be thrown in a cell.










Click here to peer!
There we go, another book to add to my book show. 40 is drawing near. That will deserve a cheer. Will the boy find his toy? I would not bet on the mutt with gas, but that is just my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Wannabe Comes For A Spree!

The Ninja Wannabe has come out to play, or maybe he had a clone do it at my bay. I guess one can never really tell. But even the clones added to my 100,000 comments, so what the hell.

Now the cat has a treat for thee,
It's a ninja wannabe,
He also plays guitar.
Are you secretly a big rock star?

I am a big metal rock star!
Although I don't play in any bar,
I jam all day on my electric Gibson,
Shooting out tunes like a machine gun.

Wow, so you kill their ears?
Does that get cheers?
Or are you like G.I. Joe,
With your electric machine gun in tow?

I hear cheers at the end of every show.
(Or are they cheering because I'm about to go?)
The Ninja sneaks off the stage with stealth,
Attacking fans are not good for my health.

The clones won't attack?
You need to send them back.
Stamp defective on their head,
Or I could just bury them in my litter bed?

Clones and litter don't really mix
Gets into parts I'd have to fix
Defective ones - back into the machine
Then they'll come out nice and clean

Do you go all Frankenstein and turn a dial?
Or is it more some sort of Matrix style?
I hope they don't get full of rust.
In Skynet do they trust?

No metal parts in these clones.
They're made with flesh, skin, and bones.
Must be careful when turning the dials,
Or you'll have Ninja clones for miles.

So you can't throw a dog a bone,
And leave a message at the tone?
Being so careful must be rough.
Now you proved you have the rhyming stuff.

Yes the Ninja can really rhyme.
Just don't ask him to imitate a mime.
Now time for me to teleport,
And return to my rocking Ninja fort!

See, and the ninja wannabe claims he can't rhyme. I can get everyone rhyming in their prime. It is a gift I guess. And he said it may end up a mess. I really should teach a class, adding more fame to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Hold Your Breath As We Bring On Death!

The cat was thinking the other day what if he up and croaked at his bay, then the posts would continue to go and no replies would show. Maybe a death post set a year in the future should be written. Then at least one day all would know why the cat was no longer smitten.

Then that brought on this,
Little bit of non bliss.
Might lose your breath,
With good old death.

Seems to be a dirty word,
One that people flips the bird.
Like it will get them shot,
Or make them fry in a pot.

That would be a bad way to go,
Stew for a witch at her show.
Or attacked by a killer crow.
Could happen, you never know.

A billion ways to croak.
Let that little tidbit soak.
Odds are it won't occur,
But you could even choke on fur.

Death by hairball.
That would get a cat call.
Maybe you should learn to cough them up,
It can even be done by a pup.

But then we already went down that road,
Heck, you could die on the commode.
Why is it people run in fear?
Is it in their genes when the word they hear?

Gonna happen one day.
Of course if you see danger run the hell the other way.
But just a word, oh no.
Under the bed you have to go.

Waste your time fearing death,
And you waste another breath.
One by one they add together,
And you can no longer enjoy the weather.

Unless you like the view of ground,
Or being burnt and flying around.
Then you wasted time for what you like,
So I guess you got a strike.

It will come when it comes,
So one can run and flap their gums,
Or just live the best they can until poof,
You get crushed by a faulty roof.

Think a death post is a good idea at my sea? Set it 50 years ahead with glee. Fear the word do you? Pfft is all I can say at my zoo. No time to worry about such a pass. It will come when it comes to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Take Hammers To Spammers And Scammers!

One thing the cat really hates is these human sleezeballs who try and steal information from many halls. That is just what they are sleezy scum buckets near and far. You may remember a while ago I added that Translate Your Book website to the list of things I do at my show. Well no more thanks to spammers and scammers galore.

Site was doing okay,
Nothing resulting in much pay.
But it was up and some conversing came due.
Then the spam started to spew.

5000 comments in a few days.
Wow, that just has to amaze.
All bleeping spam crap.
Spam crap across the map.

22,587 emails in 3 days.
Not exaggerating as you gaze.
Spam up the bleeping bleep.
Like to hammer each and every spam creep.

But spam is spam.
They are the equivalent of toe jam,
We all have to handle those.
Although 22,587 emails can bring woes.

Then came some more.
The spammers kicked down the door.
Now spam went to scam,
As phishing opened up the dam.

Somehow phishing bleeps got on there.
They were after personal info at many a lair.
Claiming to be banks and such.
Wanting personal info as the keys you touch.

We all get those emails claiming to be from a bank.
Then we just flush them down the loo tank.
But this was actually some redirect crap,
That tried to make many fall for their trap.

Still you could tell it was fake.
But you'd have to do a double take.
Although it could fool a few.
So bleep that bleep coming due.

Bleeping scum sucking scammers can go pound sand.
Deleted that site, stat, in my land.
Tried to get rid of them but another just came back.
The bleeps stuck to the site like a damn tack.

So to them I say bleep you.
I hope you rot in some foul smelling loo.
Ahh the joys of the internet.
It is very much hated by this pet.

Good host, good security and the like was there. But they still managed to get in by the pair. I think they even used email to phish. Dirty scum suckers can go choke on whatever they have on their dish. I don't overly care they hacked that site, as it wasn't doing a ton day or night. But the fact they used it for such acts of scam makes me wish they'd choke on their own toe jam. Traced it back to holes in the script from a Sitemile theme that was used. So NEVER EVER use that site for anything to be fused. Was used on another site I helped with as well. Guess what? Same sort of hell. Nothing but a bunch of crooks, or at least blind to such happenings, in mass. Now that rant is through toward those dirty scum bucket scammers from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

An Optimistic Conversation Today At My Bay!

So the one with the long name can sure play the rhyming game. The cat will make that clear as we do another guest conversation with Optimistic Existentialist to celebrate 100,000 comments across my sphere.

Any thoughts you'd like to share,
When visiting today at my lair?
Like how the clouds roll,
Or things seen out on a stroll?

Ah, clouds you say?
Actually I just saw a few today
I always am taken back by the shapes in a cloud
I see some things I wouldn't want to say out loud

Geez, you're keeping mum?
I suppose your tongue may be numb.
After saying that big long name,
As it brings you blogger fame.

I thought of shortening the name once upon a time
But then it had grown on me, so that would be a crime
Plus it gives you a more difficult time
Trying to place it into one of your rhymes

Yeah, I suppose that is true.
You wouldn't want to be called short at your zoo.
What? That came from an instrumentalist.
Or maybe some fundamentalist.

Your rhyming skills are not to be surpassed
An array of word combinations that is impressively vast
Have you ever thought of a career in rapping?
I'm sure all the fans would be enthusiastically clapping

But then I'd need some bling,
The cat would eat it like a string.
That can't be good for the heart,
Any words of wisdom before you depart?

Some words of wisdom you seek?
Makes me think of Yoda while I speak
Live and love with all your heart, you must
And in your gut and intuition, always trust

Wow, you went deep.
In I'll let that seep.
But you still have one more to go,
How you going to top that at my show?

I will close by saying thank you Pat
And say hello for me to Orlin the cat
It was fun engaging in this back-and-forth rhyming
After today, my vocabulary will be climbing

Geez, another praising the cat. I could get used to this at my mat. Why didn't I do this long ago? It sure helps the old ego. Wise Yoda words came to pass, they are sure agreed with by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Blogvengers Part Two, Zombies Continue To Chew!

Chapter 2
The Crystal Showers
Zombies With Powers
     Drazin lead the way as the group searched for a safe spot to lay. The place was littered with zombies at every spot. The whole area smelled of skin rot. The group scurried around and through, avoiding the zombie spew. Orlin and Cassie wished for their bed while Drazin wondered what happened to the voices in Pat's head.
     "So fleabags, did you get your human a lobotomy or something like that? He seems to be sane." Drazin whispered the best he could. Normally his voice was loud enough to shatter wood.
     "The cat thinks his other stuff calmed down the voices, or maybe he has few choices."
     "Drazin figures it must have been that other nut we met in that candy land fiasco, then?"
     "I'm right here you know. Damn, blabbering cats." Pat shook his head as he stared around the corner in dread.
     "Well you should never let us see everything if you don't want us to tell." Cassie looked like she had a grin and yelled as Pat used his foot to push her back in.
     "Quiet!" Pat whispered and waved his hand, as what was passing by was a zombie band.
     The zombies actually played the instruments as they staggered along, of course they did not resemble a song. It sounded more like a two year old banging on pots. It was quite loud though, as there sure were lots.
     "Drazin has seen it all." Drazin shook his head and then jumped back as a zombie went on the attack. "Okay, now Drazin has seen it all."
     "A Stretch Armstrong zombie? What next? A Teletubby?" Pat muttered as zombie arms fluttered.
     The leader of the zombie band seem to be able to stretch his hand, and everything else for that matter. He had overheard Drazin and now wanted the group on a platter. He stopped and stretched his arms just missing Pat. His rotting toes came close to grabbing the cat. Then he stretched his neck and his head came toward the group. It got right in Drazin's face and then was turned to goop.
     "And we had such a great thing going."
     "Bryan, you can't beat rotting flesh and tunes."
     "Drazin just can't catch a break. How do those two always find Drazin?"
     Two of the zombies began to speak. It was clear to the group who they were after one peek. Bryan and Brandon, the beer guys, looked like zombies as they blended in with the pack. They had thrown a cymbal and chopped off the stretchy zombie's head. They both really looked and smelled like the undead.
     The zombie band stopped playing and their heads began swaying. They turned and surrounded the pair, their flesh they wanted to tear.
     "Pat, we should help them stat."
     "Drazin says let them get eaten. The zombies will choke on them anyway."
     "Bryan, what do you call rotten meat that can walk?"
     "Do we really have time for this?"
     "A miserable meal."
     "See, even their jokes got lamer. Drazin thinks Drazin will avoid this."
     Bryan and Brandon were surrounded by zombies and had nowhere to run. The pair just stood up looking at the sun. It was hopeless, or so they thought. Pat just smiled wide, touched his head and concentrated a whole lot. Crystal shards then began to rain down from the sky. They fell and went right through each zombies eye. In a matter of moments the zombie band was dead. Pat fell unconscious and Drazin caught him before he whacked his head.
     "Damn fleabags, where did your human learn that?"
     "Orlin you don't think that is why he isn't nuts?"
     "Sadly I do. Now let's get out of here before we are through."
     Drazin slung Pat over his shoulder and the group ran off, leaving the zombies to smolder. Bryan and Brandon stood in awe. They could not believe what they just saw. They attempted to follow Drazin and the cats but then they noticed the sky get black, filling with zombies that had wings of bats. They scurried off for cover while the zombies continued to hover.
                                    ****************************************
     Brian, Mary and the rest of the dVerse crew all seemed to really have no clue. They were just slinking around hoping not to be found. It was as if Brian was running things by just gawking. The rest of them just kept following and walking and walking.
     "Brian, where are we going?" Mary rubbed her feet, still pissed the zombies ate her small dogs as a treat.
     "We have to get back to nature. I bet the zombies won't be there." Brian pointed straight ahead like he knew the path. The group then noticed a guy dressed as a ninja dishing out his wrath.
     "Am I seeing things?"
     "No, there are over fifty of him." Brian gawked and gawked some more as Alex the ninja wannabe shouted for an encore.
     Alex's clones were fighting the zombie horde at his doorstep. They all seemed to have plenty of pep. His house was rather small and the lawn had overgrown. Alex just smiled always hating mowing the lawn anyway at each weekly tone.
     "Rock on, clones!" Alex cheered and pretended to play his guitar. He knew if he actually played it zombies would come from lands afar. He missed being able to jam and instead, just acted like a ham.
     "Damn it!" Alex shouted and pointed the way for the clones, as they all heard more zombie groans.
     Another horde came from down the street. Alex's clones were starting to deplete. He got ready to flip a switch and make some more when he heard a rather large roar. He jumped off his porch and landed in the grass. A zombie with the mouth the size of a dinosaur ate his whole clone machine in mass. The zombies and clones were falling all around while Alex hid in the grass, crawling across the ground.
     "I have failed you master." The last clone whined as on him the super power zombie dined.
     "Brian, it is just one left. Look at all his weapons." Mary urged for them to help out, as clones and zombies lay on the ground dead as an out of sea trout.
     Brian nodded and the group ran into view. They picked up whatever weapon that they first came to. Alex got to his feet and stood by their side. He struck a ninja wannabe pose with such pride.
     "Any ideas on how to beat this thing?" Alex asked, now that all of his clones had been unmasked.
     "One!" Brian gawked the area and came up with a plan, one in which he knew Alex would not be a fan. "Keep it busy."
     The group lured the dinosaur mouthed zombie away and Brian made a break for where Alex's guitar was on display. He leaped over the rail and grabbed onto it. He strummed a few cords making the zombie have a fit.
     "Nooooooo!" Alex cried, not wanting his last guitar to cross the great divide.
     The zombie ran at Brian with its mouth open wide, enough drool fell out to make an incoming tide. Brian chucked the guitar in its mouth and hoped it would choke it when it swallowed and sent it south. The zombie crunched the guitar and burped it back out. Brian shrugged, running away, as Alex seemed to pout.
     A spotlight appeared over the balcony and out of nowhere came Hank. He then stood with his arms on his hips declaring his rank.
     "I am number one!"
     Hank threw his arms in the air and then made fists by the pair. In a split second he punched into the zombie's open mouth and stunted it's growth. Hank had shoved his hands right through the back of the zombie's head and back out again, making it good and dead.
     "I always knew you had special powers." Mary cheered as Hank stepped up to the group, ready to join their troop.
     "That is why I never beat Hank to number one, he cheats!" Alex muttered looking over his broken guitar. He also decided to join the group from the dVerse bar.
     They once again started down the street, feet steeping on zombie guts that were scattered all over the concrete. Brian pretending to know where he was going, gawking Alex's lawn thinking it really needed a mowing.
                                  ****************************************
     Drazin, and the cats had found safety in a sewer cavern. Drazin wished it was a tavern. He really needed a drink after all of this. Pat was still unconscious, smiling like he was in some sort of bliss.
     "So fleabags, while your human takes a nap, why don't you tell Drazin who sent Drazin away from home this time? Some letter R? Some Gawker? Some witch? Please tell Drazin it wasn't a Thinkingcap ass?"
     "I have no idea at all. No one came this time to our hall." Orlin remained curled up on Pat, still the ever so rhyming cat.
     "Maybe it was your fault this time, you godly mook. Who did you piss off?" Cassie stated in between licks. She really hated the guts of these zombie dicks.
     "Well Drazin guesses a great god like Drazin could have ticked someone off. At least there are no whiny blue cyclops or that Irish chick here this time. Where is that nutcase your human found last time?" Drazin stirred the small fire they had started with a stick. He wondered where Truedessa was as she followed them out of candy land some slick.
     "She's here." Pat muttered as he stirred, he shook his head a bit as his vision was blurred.
     "Look who's awake. Drazin thinks he still must be a bit out of it. But less than usual at least."
     "No! When we were sent here we somehow became one. She is within me. I think that is what is stopping all the voices in my head, and she brought forth those crystals earlier."
     "Pat, do we need to open wide and suck out Jekyll or Hyde?" Orlin showed off his razor sharp claw as he stuck up his paw.
     "She'll come out when the time is right, never fear. So why are we pretending to be Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, anyway?" Pat curled up his nose as the sewer sure gave his OCD woes.
     The group stopped talking as the splashing of feet could be heard coming near. The cats both hid behind Pat, having a little fear. The drips of the sewer were drowned out by the splashing. At that moment the cats were all for dashing. Drazin waved his hand and muttered how they would make a stand. He then rolled his eyes as Elsie came into view and he expected her whiny cries.
     Elsie stood before the group looking rather weak. She was covered in much fecal matter after having lived in this dung creek. Her one eye glared us all down. At least she was not blue this time like she was at candy land town. But she did not speak a word. All she did was flip a glaring Drazin the bird.
     "Drazin will take that over your whining for that Irish chick any day of the week." Drazin smiled and played with the fire. He expected her whining to become dire.
     Pat and the cats looked concerned as no retort from Elsie was returned. She sat beside Drazin soaking in the fire. He whining was not but her smell was sure dire. She then opened her mouth and the group all looked past the bacteria growth. There they could see her tongue had been ripped out. Drazin almost cheered but stopped himself from giving a shout.
     "I guess you had a run in with a zombie?" Pat asked and Elsie gave a nod. She really looked like something that came from an alien pod.
     "Well I guess you got the snip snip, just it was above the hip." Orlin trotted back in front of Pat, no longer being a fraidy cat.
     The group sat around the fire not saying another word. Unlike Gawker Island and Candy Land this place was not as absurd. It was more deadly than before and they knew they needed to be careful if they ever wanted to make it back home to their shore. Drazin took watch listening to nothing but the sewer drips while everyone else caught some sleep and took dream land trips.
                                ****************************************
     Dr. Zoggif leaned back in his chair and just continued to stare. He was pleased with his work and could not stop himself from giving a smirk. His huge hands were interlaced behind his head. He could not wait for every blogger to be good and dead.
     "There goes another one." He laughed to himself as he stared at a screen on a shelf.
     The screen seemed to have blog names from all over the Earth. Even if blogs were retired or no longer had worth. Just Keepin it Real Folks had a red line now through the blog name. He was happy death had come to that dame. He watched as more and more got red lines, hoping zombies ripped out their spines.
     "75% of the world's bloggers are now dead. Soon my master plan will be complete." Dr. Zoggif continued to stare at the screen while dreaming off zombies eating a blogger's spleen.

                                         **********************

And so ends chapter two as zombies try and eat the blog crew. But why is that? Are you sticking with the cat? Is that too much rhyme that came to pass? Never too much for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Light Hearted Fools And The Cat Is Where It Is At!

This time no fake representation of the rhyming cat is at play. I finally get to have my say. Of course Truedessa has hers too. Pat just shut up and followed the directions that came due.

So time for a tale,
That surely won't fail.
Unless you get into the wine.
Care to start off or should the feline?

A tale of two light hearted fools
searching the sea for rare jewels
along with them a rhyming cat
pull up a crate it's time for a chat

So the two light hearted fools just chat?
No wonder Bora Bora they are never at.
But I guess they have to shut their yap,
When they hear the wings of a dragon flap.

white billowing sails wind gives a huff
choppy sea, the night air gets rough
through the darkness, two fiery eyes
swooping down, heaving eerie sighs

Wow, you really set a scene.
That thing looks rather mean.
Wait! It is really a brain sucking alien parasite.
The cat is going to run now out of sight.

Out of the blackness, green scaly skin
soaring the sky, a mischievous grin
get back here cat, it's time to fight
pulling our swords  dueling this night

Pffft you and Pat can protect the cat.
Go and kill the brain sucking thing, stat!
Use a sparkly fart and some magic wine.
With those big teeth it looks ready to dine.

Captain Pat  has a few tricks of his own
he'll blast that alien into another time zone
Now, where o' where is my magic wine
casting a spell,  that demon will whine..

You better hurry up and fill your cup,
The demon parasite thing is starting to hiccup.
With each one it spawns a new clone.
It wants to suck us back like an ice cream cone.

bitter taste, we better chug a lug
those alien clones we will debug
a force field of energy zip zap
blinding light, at the sound of snap

They are confused and look abused.
Pat seems to also be infused.
Wow, he can really jump.
That clone came down, dead, with a thump.

Now, those aliens can't get any connection
Truedessa sending vibes in their direction
Pat has the clippers, he will do a snip snip
as their aliens minds do a backwards flip

Oh the dreaded snip snip comes to pass.
Serves those probers right in mass.
Vibes and clippers bring them to the ocean floor,
The original demon is upset its clones are no more.

With fiery breath,  he attempts to attack
Truedessa throws a crystal into his back
his evil eyes roll around in his green head
filling the night air with a sense of dread

The crystal is oh so very shiny.
The demon thing is now very whiny.
Poof! He turned into a fluffy hare.
Oh no! It's the mothership with sirens that blare.

have no fear Pat will send  up a  drone
infiltrate the ship's brain with a magical stone
just as  a giant meteor comes into play
look out, those hideous demons now will pay

Boom, goes the ship.
Those fireworks are rather hip.
All kinds of colors in the sky.
I'm very glad we didn't die.

tired they go to the berth below
where they can bask in the glow
Sailing on their ship of dreams
under golden moonbeams...

Brain sucking parasite demon alien things came up in a 100,000 comment guest post. Ever think that would come due at my coast? You just never know what will show. Now I have to go plug my ears as they cause fears. I guess I will go bug Cass with my ever so annoying little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

A Numb Tongue Today Is At Play!

I guess the numb tongue came loose at her sea, as she sure goes on a rhyming spree. The one with the longest comment posting streak. Betsy is always seen at my creek. And away we go with another comment convo.

So how does it feel,
That just like eating every meal,
You have to rhyme at my bay.
Does being addicted pay?

It's an out-of-body experience
and kind of makes me delirious!
I've always said you've cast a spell
so I'll come. How you do it I cannot tell!

It's a mixture unlike any other.
You don't want to know what I smother.
Or what I use to send out the vapor.
Plus you may try and repo my capor.

So a vapor comes across my land
and gives to me a rhyme command?
At least I know that it's germ free
as you mix it with your OCD.

Germ free as can be.
No need to wipe anything down at your sea.
Just grab your spoon and dance around.
So tighty whitey man you can astound.

Just so it doesn't make my tongue numb.
Because then I'd just feel dumb!
But not as bad as Flappy.
I know she makes you sappy.

Thankfully she is long gone.
But just in case you should pull a numb tongue con.
Then she'd have no idea what to do.
Peace and quiet would ensue.

I'd like a trip to Nanny's house,
the one with lots of cats and no mouse,
To thank her for passing on her crown.
A bigger one can't be found.

Well you can go in my place,
As there two dogs race.
One I like, the other can take a hike.
So do any final words of wisdom strike?

A word of wisdom I would share
is not to breathe in the air
if a rhyming vapor does appear!
Yes, one should avoid it with fear!
For it only takes one little sniff
and away your will that cat will lift!
You'll forever crave the rhyme
and daily commit the crime!
But really it isn't all that bad
unless a zombie toe be had.
Or maybe a hairy cupid man.
Other than that it's a pretty nice land!

Wow, got a bit mouthy at the end. I think that may be a growing trend. A good shout for me though. So that works at my show. Are you addicted too or just conflicted and confused at my zoo? I like to confuse in mass, it works so well for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.