Dave Barry's Blog, page 3959
June 4, 2009
BECAUSE NOTHING ADDS CLASS TO YOUR HOME DECOR LIKE A COLOR-COORDINATED PUPPY-TRAINING MAT
I am housebreaking a one-year-old puppy and got a kick out of the label on the OUT! Training pads. -- Larry Potter
IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME
A musical diaper alarm. The release doesn't say what song it plays. We're thinking maybe it should be the Moody Blues' "Go Now."
WE'RE GOING TO NEED MANY CLEAR, ONE-QUART, RE-SEALABLE PLASTIC BAGS
10,000 bees crowd wing of plane at Mass. airport (Thanks to Cynthia and Siouxie)
June 3, 2009
ATTENTION, MEN OF THE MALE GENDER
When you meet a woman - any woman - for the first time, you should not, at any point in the conversation, say, "Yeah, my mom does that, too." That is all.
PEOPLE OF ILLINOIS:
We have found your next governor. (Thanks to jon harris and deblemint)
A STUNNED NATION MOURNS
(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)
IDAHO TRAFFIC REPORT
He said the woman had cut him off, yelled obscenities at him, and was throwing coins and ranch dressing at his car. (Thanks to Bruce Kizer)
SQUIRREL TERRORISM UPDATE
Now the little furred bastards are undermining our most precious institutions.
SHOW AND TELL
It has changed. (Thanks to Chuck Cody and Ralph)
IS THERE A PROBLEM, OFFICER?
(Thanks to DavCat)
