Dave Barry's Blog, page 3958
June 4, 2009
WOMEN'S SHOES
They are nothing but trouble. (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson, Baron vonKlyff, Siouxie and Bob "Brogan" Brogan)
ATTENTION, MALE JOB-SEEKERS
Positions are available. (Thanks to Danny)
MASS TRANSIT UPDATE
(Thanks to Allen at Division)
THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS
...it’s the perfect brush for achieving natural looking, undetectable cleavage! (Thanks to Danny)
THAT WILL TEACH HER THAT SCHOOL AUTHORITIES CAN BE IDIOTS THE IMPORTANCE OF OBEYING THE RULES
The Penn Hills school board voted Tuesday to expel the ninth-grader at Linton Middle School who brought an eyebrow shaver to the school in early May. (Thanks to Jeff Meyerson and Bob Brogan)
WHEN GLOBAL WARMING CAUSES THE SEAS TO RISE, WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO OUR LIVESTOCK?
Don't worry: They have a plan. (Thanks to Peter Metrinko) (The actual explanation, such as it is, is here.) UPDATE: Turns out I posted this a year ago. Judi will be etc.
GAY PENGUINS UPDATE
Congratulations are in order. (Thanks to Siouxie and Danny)
ALWAYS LOOK BEFORE YOU BITE
Missing baby found in Sandwich (Thanks to Allen at Division)
APPARENTLY JACK BAUER IS A SOCCER FAN
A local in the bar told him and his friends to stop singing and shot him in the thigh with a pistol when they carried on. (Thanks to Danny)
IN CASE YOU'RE IN THE MARKET
Put to the test: Cheryl Cole's £36,000 thigh sucker (Thanks to Danny)
