Dave Barry's Blog, page 3880

PAGING MR. GORE

(Thanks to CJrun)

CRAIGSLIST PATRONS OF THE WEEK SO FAR

Key Excerpt: Police asked the men to rate the women on a scale of 1 to 10: Most of the men rated the women a "2," although the drunkest among them said "4." (Thanks to Gail Orsillo)

LET'S PUT THEM IN CHARGE OF HEALTH CARE

There has been traffic chaos in two Paris suburbs after their feuding mayors declared the same busy road one-way, but in opposite directions. (Thanks to Janice Gelb)

IN CASE THE DRIVERS NEED A SNACK

Frozen koalas may be thrown at rally cars (Thanks to Bill Moore and Horace LaBadie)

SCIENCE UPDATE

An important breakwind breakthrough from Cornell. (Thanks to DavCat)

THERE IS NOTHING LOWER

...than Chihuahua snatchers. (Thanks to Claire Martin)

MOST DISAPPOINTING STORY OF THE DAY SO FAR

Flashing women to be a traffic stopper (Thanks to Bill Moore)

THE LISTENING AUDIENCE CONSISTS ENTIRELY OF CATS

Two of Brisbane radio's biggest networks – the ABC and Austereo – are currently offering channels which broadcast nothing but around-the-clock bird noises. (Thanks to Ralph)

WE'RE GUESSING HE'S SINGLE

(Thanks to John Regan, via Jonathan Turley)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR MOBY GRAPE

Strange Jellies and the Icy Depths (Thanks to Dr. Doug)