Dave Barry's Blog, page 32

SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

An armed man dressed in a bikini storms a donut shop ��� but staff fight back

(Thanks to Ron Wylie, who notes that, incredibly, this was "not Florida.")

ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO GO BAREFOOT?

Grand Teton National Park Says Stop Leaving Shoes out for Foxes

(Thanks to John Lobert)

ANYTHING TO DECL.... YIKES

Over 1,400 tarantulas found hidden in cake boxes in German smuggling bust

(Thanks to B&C, Dave Vander Ark and Not My Usual Alias, who notes that "They could have been for personal use.")

THE NEW YORK POST TACKLES THE ISSUES

Kourtney Kardashian helped me poop

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "A use for the Kardashians at last.")

NOBEL PRIZE ALERT

What Happens When You Throw a Paper Plane From Space? These Physicists Found Out

(Thanks to Jim Kenaston)

What we found out is that physicists have a LOT of spare time.

ANYTHING TO DECLARE?

Man escapes prison by hiding in luggage of fellow cellmate as he's released in France

(Thanks to Ralph)

THIS CANNOT BE GOOD

China Builds World's Lightest Mind-Controller That Turns Bees Into Military Cyborgs

(Thanks to Ralph)

We cannot allow the squirrels to gain access to this technology.

WE KEEP WARNING PEOPLE, BUT NOBODY LISTENS

Squirrels Take Over Yosemite

(Thanks to John Regan)

Thousands of squirrels are "swarming" one of America's nuclear bases, wreaking untold havoc as we speak

(Thanks to Linda Schutjer)

NO, YOU DON'T THROW IT AT THEM

Here, they explain how to use a disco ball to keep flies away outside

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says "They could just play Barry Manilow instead.")

OTHER THAN THAT, A PERFECT NEIGHBOR

...he was caught walking around naked in his apartment building and using a dog whistle to harass his neighbors��� pets.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)