Dave Barry's Blog, page 222

WATCH OUT, SHERLOCK HOLMES

West Virginia officials investigating reports of a powder in the air and on some vehicles in the mid-Atlantic have determined the source: pollen.

(Thanks to EricY)

HOW DID WE MISS THIS MOVIE?

The VelociPastor

After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur.

(Thanks to Alkali Bill)

THE KEITH OF CLAMS

Quahog clam found off Florida coast believed to be 214 years old

(Thanks to John Lobert, who says ���as later confirmed by its valid Florida driver���s license.���)

THESE MOOSE TODAY

Police help relocate 'gorked out' moose from construction site

(Thanks to Ralph, and John Lobert, who says ���I saw GOM open for the Animals.���)

SOMEBODY SHOULD SUE THAT CREMATORIUM

Man found alive ���nine years after he was cremated���

(Thanks to John Lobert)

CSI: LA PORTE COUNTY, INDIANA

A dispute between neighbors in La Porte County resulted in a woman being mooned.

(Thanks to Unholy Slacker)

IF HE HAS IT, HE PROBABLY IS

Study Suggests Body Odor Can Reveal if a Man Is Single or Not

(Thanks to Matt Filar)

WE'RE GONNA NEED MORE FRANKS

Thousands of cans of Bush���s Baked Beans spill after semi-truck wreck

(Thanks to AmoebaStampede, who says "send in the Wienermobile")

MEANWHILE IN FLATHEAD COUNTY

12:10 p.m. A man reported his mother kept trying to break into his house and steal his bearded dragon.

12:33 p.m. The mother in question was just trying to use the lizard as ransom to get her spider back.

We saw Ransom Lizard open for Whitesnake.

(Thanks to Stan Ruth)

LOOKS VEGAN TO US

A business-class airline passenger who ordered vegan food says it was insulting to be served one banana along with a pair of chopsticks

(Thanks to Barry Nester)