Dave Barry's Blog, page 223

TODAY IN BRITISH MEDIA COVERAGE OF WEIRD-SHAPED CRISPS:

Another wad of hard-hitting journalism.

(Thanks to John Lobert)

TOO BAD THIS DIDN���T HAPPEN IN HERSHEY

���Marshmallows everywhere:��� 20 cases of the sweet treats create sticky situation in Camillus

(Thanks to Chris, who says ���going to need more Graham crackers.���)

A QUESTION WE HAVE ALL ASKED OURSELVES

Should the moon have its own time zone?

(Thanks to GJ, who says ���Next up: Uranus Time.���)

ATTENTION, ACADEMY VOTERS:

Cocaine Bear, Hold My Beer: Production Company Behind ���Sharknado��� Releasing ���Meth Gator��� Movie This Summer

(Thanks to Rod Nunley)

DELUSIONAL

She rescues baby squirrels: ���They���re quite destructive. I don���t care. I love them.���

(Thanks to Rick Day) 

WHAT'S THE POINT OF EVEN HAVING POLICE?

A Canadian woman called 911 to report a long line at a new Burger King drive-thru, prompting Mounties to issue a public reminder that being "hangry" is not a police emergency.

(Thanks to MOTW)

AND IN FLORIDA SPORTS

Rambling alligator puts stop to high school���s lacrosse practice

We saw them open for the Turtles.

CLEANUP ON AISLE SEVEN

City of Havelock warns public about Walmart alligator

(Thanks to Ralph)

FUN COUPLE

Boston property magnate worth $220m is accused of hiding $130m from movie director wife he's divorced twice, after she caught him spending $532,000 on WOODEN DUCKS (but he says she's so lazy she spent $80,000 on staffer to brush dogs' teeth!)

(Thanks to Roberto)

AGAIN, IF YOU WATCH ���THE LAST OF US,��� YOU KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING

Jack Daniel's barrel houses are causing an out-of-control black 'whiskey fungus' in a Tennessee community, enraged residents say

(Thanks to Robert Moats)