Lysa TerKeurst's Blog, page 18

I Didn’t Know How to Find What I Needed in the Bible

I closed my eyes and warm tears slipped down my face onto my pillow. I knew I should pray but quite honestly, I doubted God was listening. I could hear the kids fighting in the kitchen. More evidence I wasn’t measuring up. I knew I should get up and address whatever was causing the chaos between them, but I just didn’t have it in me. Not that day.

Not when the very foundation of my family was imploding. I mean, if your house is on fire surely you don’t stop to straighten a picture hanging crooked on the wall. The issues with my kids felt minor in comparison to the issues with my husband.

“I just don’t know how to fix things between us.”

Those 10 words he’d said were running on repeat through my mind. Each time cutting deeper and deeper into the most vulnerable places of my heart.

I didn’t know what to do.

I didn’t know who to call.

I didn’t know how to pray and get some sort of answer from God.

And I certainly didn’t have a clue how to find something relatable to read in the Bible.

This is the desperate place I was in during the early days of my family.

The desperation. The helplessness. The days full of hurt and seemingly void of hope. I know those feelings deeply and personally.

That’s why my team and I are so committed to the work we do at Proverbs 31 Ministries. We are devoted to meeting women right where they are and helping them connect with God in ways that restore their hope, renew their relationships and, most importantly, revitalize their faith.

These women and families are literally begging for help. And we know if we connect their needs with God’s truth, their lives will dramatically improve.

Chances are if you’re reading this blog post, me or my team at Proverbs 31 Ministries have shown up in your inbox with words that the Lord gave us to make you feel less alone, more understood and more deeply connected with truths from the Bible.

Millions of women are engaging more deeply with Biblical truth and growing in their relationship with the Lord because Proverbs 31 Ministries exists.

In 2015 alone:

• Over 500,000 people woke up with our First 5 mobile app, dedicating the first five minutes of their day to reading God’s Word.

• 810,000 women received Encouragement for Today devotions in their email inbox, with an estimated reach of well over ONE MILLION! We get women into God’s Word daily!

• 126,000 women from nearly 100 countries participated in our Online Bible Studies. They were able to learn how to connect God’s Word to their everyday lives, regardless of where they lived!

• 3 million people received our biblical teaching and inspiration through Facebook, with hundreds of thousands more on Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.

• Over 3,000 women pursued their calling in ministry through She Speaks Conference and COMPEL writers training. We love the multiplied ministry impact of equipping others to serve Jesus!

Yes, in a day and time where the world is trying to quiet Biblical truth, we’re determined to help people engage with God’s truth like never before. We’re determined to get people into God’s Word so God’s Word can get into them.

But we need your help.

If you’ve donated to Proverbs 31 Ministries before, thank you. Please know your investment is used to carry God’s Word around the world on a daily basis. Your continued support is a well-placed investment allowing you to truly know you’ve played a crucial role in fulfilling Jesus’ instructions for us to carry the Good News to those both near and far. Click here to continue your support.

And for those of you who haven’t invested yet, this is an incredible time to participate! Click here to give to Proverbs 31 Ministries today.

There are so many more to reach. We want to reach your friends and family and neighbors who have never known how to connect the life-changing truths from the Bible to their needs of today. And it is possible! We’re hearing from people every day who find Proverbs 31 Ministries resources then begin a relationship with Jesus and start studying the Bible as a result. He has answers for all their greatest needs. As Isaiah 55:11 reminds us, God’s Word never returns void!

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Where I Really Fall Short

Can I admit something to you on this cold fall day? It’s not pretty. It’s not something I’m proud of. And it’s certainly not something I want highlighted about my life.

But, I must share just in case it might help you.

I struggle at times trusting God with my kids.

There’s just something so hard about this for me. Though I say with my mouth and I posture my attitude to give off the appearance of complete trust, when it comes down to the nitty-gritty of fully living like I trust God with my kids, I fall short.

I worry.

I get incredibly anxious.

I make lots of suggestions to God on their behalf.

I try to keep things in their world calm, free of hurt, and on track toward some “best plan” I’ve imagined for them.

It’s like I gather up my people in my arms and tell God, “See? I’ve got it all worked out. Now, if You’ll just bless all this. Don’t mess with it, just bless it. And life will be good.”

I suspect I’m not the only mom who feels this way. So if you can relate, join me over at (in)courage today for the rest of this post by clicking here.

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Remember Who You Are
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The Most Powerful Name

Matthew 1:20 (NIV) “But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, ‘Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.’”

I picture Joseph in the moment he found out his future wife, Mary, was pregnant. He knew the child wasn’t his. His mind must have fired off all kinds of assumptions and dreadful possible scenarios that could have caused this situation.

And Joseph’s response? He made plans to divorce Mary in secret.

The very next thing written in verse 20 states that after Joseph considered the divorce an angel visited him in a dream. Joseph went to sleep with the weight of his decision pressing on him, and God sent an angel to direct him and protect God’s plan.

God had a plan for Joseph. His assignment was to bring forth the child and name him “Jesus” (Matthew 1:21).

And the enemy’s tactic to mess that plan up could have been many things. Shame. Anger. Confusion.

But the angel of the Lord saw what was really keeping Joseph from staying in alignment with his assignment from God: fear.

Make no mistake, the enemy wanted Joseph to be afraid.

The enemy wants you to be afraid today too.

Not the healthy kind of fear that keeps us safe. No, the horrible kind of fear that whispers worst-case scenarios, absent of hope and haunted by hurt.

With death on his breath fear says, “Entertain my entanglements. Linger in my lies. And drink deeply from my darkness.”

While we’re distracted with fear, the enemy pickpockets our purpose. Cripples our courage. Dismantles our dreams. And blinds us to the beauty of the Lord’s great plans.

On the surface it may not seem like your assignment is like Joseph’s at all. But it’s actually incredibly similar. You are to bring forth and proclaim the name of Jesus.

Is there a person with whom you’ve been afraid to share your testimony? Is there a relationship causing you confusion and anxiety? Is there a problem you’re facing where there seems to be no solution?

Proclaiming the name of Jesus brings power, protection and a perspective that crushes fear. It is the name above every other.

Joseph went to bed afraid. In his dream he hears the name Jesus for the first time. And wakes up empowered to be obedient to God’s plan.

There is power in the name of Jesus.

Calling on the name of Jesus shouldn’t be our last resort. It should be our first response. He is Immanuel, God with us.

At Proverbs 31 Ministries, we think it’s so important to give the first moments of our day to God. And our app, First 5, is designed to help you do just that! You can set your morning alarm in the app and when you turn it off, the first thing you’ll read is a 5-minute teaching just like this one from the Bible.

We started studying the book of Matthew this week and would love to have you with us. Click here to find out more or download ‘First 5’ in your app store.

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When It Feels Better to Blame Someone Else
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When Rejection Steals the Best of Who I Am

“We don’t need you there.” A simple sentence. Five words. Five syllables. However, in my brain the interpretation of this sentence was anything but simple.

It unleashed a flood of uncertainty. My brain instantly fired off locator arrows that traveled to past rejections in my memory. Past hurt was pulled into this current conversation. Suddenly, I wasn’t hearing “We don’t need you there.” I was hearing, “You aren’t wanted.”

Rejection always wants to steal the best of who I am by reinforcing the worst of what’s been said to me.

The best of who I am was certainly not the one interpreting this comment.

The most hurt version of me took what was said and added pages of commentary. This additional dialogue highlighted my insecurities, brought to mind all the many reasons I was surely being excluded, and vilified the person who uttered those five words that started this whole thing.

Suddenly, this person was unsafe. She was insensitive. And worst of all, I pictured her rallying others to believe the worst about me as well.

If you’ve had these same thoughts and feelings… I understand. And I’m sharing more about the 3 perspectives I’ve learned when it comes to rejection over at (in)courage today. Read the rest of this post here.

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Why you must not silence your writing dream today

Have you ever been inspired to write down an amazing lesson you learned or record a wondrous experience you had with God? But then you put pen to paper and your inspiration dissipated as your words seemed tangled and flat.

What if I said you could become a writer who knows how to express their experiences with deeply impactful words that can help others…

Would you, could you dare to believe me?

I distinctly remember the day my dad brought home a typewriter. His office had gotten these new machines called ‘computers.’ Something within me stirred and went wild at the thought of possessing a typewriter.

I loved the way it could strike and fill a page of nothing and make it something.

Maybe, I could one day write a book? The thought came and delighted me until I placed my hands on the keyboard. And the only words that came to me were all the reasons I couldn’t possibly write a book.

The dream was silenced.

The same thing happened to me when the high school choir director announced we’d be doing a musical. I got so excited. I could see myself playing the lead role. Until I heard my friend practicing with bold assurance and booming accuracy. Suddenly every note I sang felt painfully hollow.

The dream was silenced.

And then in my mid-twenties I dared to tell a friend of mine I thought I might want to speak at the women’s event we were planning. Originally, I was just going to help plan the event. But the stirring to speak wouldn’t leave me. So, I gave voice to my crazy thought.

She just tilted her head and said, “No. I feel certain you aren’t supposed to speak.”

The dream was silenced.

Has this ever happened to you? Voices both internally and externally remind us of all the reasons we’re incapable.

Oh how impossibility loves to scream into silenced dreams.

Your writing dream might seem impossible now. But let me be the friend who whispers some encouragement to you… you. can. do. this!

I’ve put together a FREE video series to help you push through the impossible parts of your writing dream. Sign up for it today and you’ll be equipped to:

– Avoid the trap of tired, typical writing by learning practical ways to develop messages that truly stand out and influence positive change in your readers.

– Gain motivation to further your writing and enjoy the journey to becoming an author.

– Learn how to make writing a priority in your busy schedule by understanding the habits of a successful writer.

Click here to sign up.

You don’t want to miss this. Because inside every impossible is the word “possible”… if only we dare to see it.

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Remember Who You Are

There were so many things I wanted to say in this big moment for my daughter. Shouldn’t I have a speech? Or a famous person’s quote? Or a highly engaging devotion all planned out?

She was heading to her first day of high school. And I knew she would soon face choices that carried more weight than ever before in her life. We make our choices and then our choices make us.

I swallowed hard and blinked back the tears. And suddenly I knew exactly what to say: “Remember who you are.”

This was the perfect statement. Not because it’s incredibly profound to the rest of the world. But it is to my kids. It’s our family motto.

We’ve spent years teaching our kids character lessons and highlighting people who model solid integrity. We’ve tied these lessons to be defining marks on what we want our name to stand for when people think of us.

But, we wanted a way to encapsulate all those lessons into one quick statement that could be said every time our kids head out into the world.

And, it had to be a statement that made sense to all of our kids, whether it was one of our teens heading out on a Friday night with friends, or a younger child going over to a friend’s house for an afternoon playdate.

So, we came up with the simple statement, “Remember who you are.” In other words, you are a child of the Almighty God. Live that truth today.

This is our family signature. This would be that quick reminder of the spiritual vision of our family.

All those life lessons …

– upholding purity in our thoughts and actions

– honoring God with the words we say and choose not to say

– keeping a good attitude whether we win or lose

– extending grace to others as God has extended grace to us

… boiled down into one easy-to-remember and easy-to-repeat statement: Remember who you are.

And this isn’t just a reminder to hold our family name in high regard. No, even more importantly, it’s a reminder to hold the fact that we are part of God’s family in high regard. Our name is worth something.

The Bible says in Proverbs 22:1, “A good name is more desirable than great riches.” Calling ourselves Christians is a huge responsibility. Christ’s name is part of our identity.

Yes, “Remember who you are,” was the perfect thing to say on this day of new beginnings, opportunities and choices.

Does all this mean we have kids who never mess up or let us down? Nope. It doesn’t even mean that I never mess up or let others down. It’s tough having a sold-out-to-Jesus soul stuck in a flesh-filled body.

It means we’ve defined what we’re shooting for, and hopefully we’re all in the process of getting closer and closer to hitting the mark.

I’m so excited to announce that today is the release day of my new children’s book, Win or Lose, I Love You! With this book, you’ll be equipped to help your child:

• Replace the selfish characteristics of competition with an understanding of how to treat others fairly.

• Overcome the tendency to display poor sportsmanship by using Biblical truths to develop a Christ-like attitude.

• Reject the labels of winning and losing and embrace that they are loved no matter how they perform.

Get it now for a special release day price of only $10.99! Purchase your copy here.

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When It Feels Better to Blame Someone Else
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When It Feels Better to Blame Someone Else

You want to know one of the hardest three-word statements to make? “I am wrong.”

It’s so easy to point out wrong in others. It’s so easy to want it to be someone else’s fault. It’s so easy to get critical and cynical and caught up in our limited perspectives.

But boy is it hard to see our own flaws. Where we went wrong. What we need to own.

I’ve been challenging myself on this. I recently had to correct one of my children for trying to blame someone else for something my child needed to own themselves.

I could clearly see the pride, the insecurity, and the fear all wrapped around her blaming words. And why could I see it so clearly?

Because it’s always easier to spot in other people. But when I see pride in others, that’s the exact moment where I must challenge myself to examine my own heart.

In most conflicts I have two ways I can choose to travel:

The Path of Pride: I can blame the other person, focus only on their flaws and refuse to own my part of it. That response will increase my pride and decrease the Lord’s blessing in my life.

The Humble Way: I can honestly assess what I’m contributing to this conflict, admit where I went wrong and ask for forgiveness. That response will lead to humility and increase the Lord’s blessing in my life.

I see this principle woven throughout the Bible:

James 4:6b, “That is why Scripture says: God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” (NIV)

Proverbs 29:23, “Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor.” (NIV)

Matthew 23:12, “For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (NIV)

I know this. I believe this. So, why do I still find it hard to implement sometimes?

Well, here’s where my head wants to go when I start examining certain conflicts: But what if it really isn’t my fault? It’s not fair to assign the blame with me when this person did this and this and this.

But that’s the wrong direction to go. Don’t try to assign the blame. Just own the part you brought into the conflict. When I approach conflict with a heart of humility, I’ve yet to see where I haven’t added something to the issue.

And if the other person doesn’t own their issues — the Lord will deal with them. (See the verses above.)

There are gifts hidden in the tough stuff of conflict. There is grace and honor to be gained. But I’ll only see those gifts if I stop blaming others and start examining myself.

Help your child develop humility with “10 Biblical Truths for Your Child Whether They Win or Lose.”

It’s the perfect resource every mom needs as we point our kids toward God’s Word this school year.

Download it for free here!

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An Agenda That Will Never Satisfy

I should have been happy. I knew it. I could have listed out so many things for which I was thankful.

So, what was this undercurrent of disappointment that ebbed and flowed just beneath the surface of my more honest moments? I got still and I got sad.

Then I would see something horrific on the news that other people are facing, and I felt so horribly guilty for even daring to give myself permission to entertain anything other than gratitude.

Which just heaped shame on top of my sadness. So I’d reach for a handful of something chocolate. And I’d wash it down with a Diet Coke and determine that maybe all this off-kilterness was just because I was running a little low on sugar and caffeine.

But the real answer was something I already knew but didn’t want to admit.

I was doing many things, pouring myself out for God, but not really spending time getting refilled by God.

Maybe you can relate?

I’m sharing more about this over at (in)courage today and I’d love to have you join in on the conversation. Just click here!

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Whoops! Sorry about that last email.

You might have received an email from me yesterday with the subject line ‘Speaking-Dylan.’ We had some maintenance going on with my blog and that post went out by accident. I’m sorry about that!

My technical genius dude Tyler sat at his desk yesterday wishing he could hit ‘unsend.’ Which is actually such a fine reminder to us all, that once our words go out … we can’t unsend or unsay them.

 

 

I assured him y’all are basically the kindest blog readers in the world and would just smile and delete the crazy 2-word email.

I love that about y’all. And I hope you have an amazing Tuesday.

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When I Don’t Get What I Want

Have you ever wanted something so badly your heart ached with each thought of it? It seems life would be so much better if you had that.

There would be more happiness.

More contentment.

More fulfillment.

More satisfaction.

More peace.

We can envision ourselves with this thing, this person, this opportunity. And all things are better. So, why doesn’t God give us this longing of our heart?

Because He wants us to willingly release it to Him.

Ouch.

Not the answer we want. Why would God let the aching desire linger and not make things happen? He could. He’s certainly able. But when He doesn’t, it seems unfair. Not good. Confusing.

It’s easy to get down when we’re constantly let down.

We hope this thing will happen … we’ll meet this right person … we’ll get this job … we’ll finally be healed … we’ll get that chance … we’ll see that family member turn their life around. Time and again it doesn’t happen. That’s when it’s easy to slip.

We can so easily slip into feeling a little distant from God because we feel hurt by God.

That’s what happened when the man I thought I was going to marry told me he met someone else. That’s what happened when I didn’t get the job I was so certain was going to be the answer to all my financial problems. That’s what happened when my son didn’t get into the charter school we were so certain would have been perfect for him.

But, in each of these things, I eventually had to make a choice. I could either be consumed with my unmet longing or trust the plans of our loving God.

As an offering of trust, we must give up that which could so easily bring us down.

Not give up as in a discouraged surrender. But giving up as in placing this desire in the hand of God and saying, “Either way, I will see Your answer as the good answer and walk in trust.”

The Scriptures promise He rewards those who honestly seek Him: “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him” (Hebrews 11:6).

Sometimes I get so consumed with seeking my unmet longings, I don’t earnestly seek Him. But then I miss out on His reward. And His reward is the only thing that will fill the void in my heart.

Yes, I still struggle with unmet desires.

But not as much today as I did yesterday.

And that is good. Not easy. But good.

Learn more about trusting God’s plan instead of ours with my book, The Best Yes. I’m giving away 5 copies today! To be entered to win, leave a comment below with what unmet longing you’ll be releasing this week.

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What Are You Putting First?
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