Lysa TerKeurst's Blog, page 20

Make Your First 5 Count

Have you ever felt something stirring in your spirit that wouldn’t go away?

I have one of those things on my heart right now. And it all started with my middle daughter, Ashley.

Ashley is a driven and responsible girl. Last fall, she went off to college and while she’s always excelled academically, the same couldn’t be said for her spiritual life.

As her mom, my heart broke over her struggle in her relationship with the Lord. I just couldn’t understand it — she grew up going to church, learned Bible lessons and saw my husband Art and me read Scripture each day.

But no matter what we did or said, we just couldn’t make it connect for her.

If you’re in that place right now with your child or in your own walk with the Lord, I understand. I think for Ashley, the Bible felt complicated and disconnected from her everyday life issues.

As I cried out to the Lord on behalf of my daughter, the word that kept coming to mind was poverty. Poverty might seem like a strange word for this situation but when I saw the lack of spiritual nourishment in Ashley, the parallels from physical to spiritual lined up.

I chased down this thought a little more — what causes poverty? A lack of access to what you need.

Ashley had “physical” access to the Bible. We have many copies in our home.

But she lacked “personal” access. She wasn’t personally digging into the Bible herself. Therefore it wasn’t nourishing her parched spirit.

So where was the disconnect? As I wrestled with this, God brought me to the book of Proverbs.

“My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding — indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God” (Proverbs 2:1-5).

There is one word in this passage that’s repeated over and over: understand! Solomon says if we want fear of the Lord and knowledge of God, then we will crave understanding.

That’s what she needed… to crave understanding of the Scriptures!

Meanwhile, at school, Ashley was invited to attend a Bible study. She was challenged by her leaders to spend the first 5 minutes of her day in the Word.

After admitting she hadn’t been reading her Bible and hearing many of her friends talk about the benefits they were getting, she finally gave it a try. Each day, little by little, her interest in the Bible grew. Her life and attitude was being transformed.

I recently visited her at college and could hardly believe my eyes.

She’s a completely different girl.

At one point during our time together, I asked her, “What finally made following Jesus wholeheartedly click for you?” She said, “Mom, I’ve made friends who love Jesus. I saw a joy in them that I wanted. So, I started doing what they do even when I didn’t want to. At first I thought getting up to read the Bible was unrealistic. But as I kept doing it, the Lord started changing my thought patterns. And when I started thinking about life from the standpoint of Truth, I had so much more joy.”

I can hardly type these words without crying.

As Ashley began to share with me what was happening, I also had a light switch go on. Her spiritual poverty was going away the more she personally accessed truth and gained understanding.

In that moment, the burden on my mama heart turned to a vision for a hurting world. What if Proverbs 31 Ministries could help every mom recommend a tool to really facilitate their daughters getting into God’s Word for at least 5 minutes first thing every morning?

What if we could bring the Word of God to college students, moms, daughters, business owners and grandmothers across the globe in a way that made the first minutes of every day life-changing? So, the minute they pick up their phones in the morning, instead of getting distracted by other things, they can get invigorated with Truth.

We must exchange whispers with God before shouts with the world. Instead of immediately checking in with social media with the first moments of our day, we can truly make God first by giving Him our first thoughts.

With God’s vision and your help, Proverbs 31 Ministries is striving to eradicate Biblical poverty. And we want to start by developing a free mobile app called the “First 5″ to:

• Bring life and Truth to the First 5 minutes of every day.

• Provide a healthier alternative to hopping on social media in the first moments of our day.

• Give us the opportunity to share hope with the people in our lives who struggle with putting God’s Word first.

We need people whose hearts are burdened like ours to bring the Word of God to women across the globe.

Together, all hands in, we can change lives with the Word of God! Will you join me? I’m so excited to do this together. Click here for more information.

Related posts:

3 Ways to Press Through Unanswered Prayer
When Fear Chases Me
10 Ways to Graciously Say No When You Feel Pressured to Say Yes

I’m Overwhelmed!

I was tired, teary and hungry. That’s such a bad combination when you actually still want to be nice to people, especially those who call you Mommy.

I had such good intentions to stay calm that morning despite getting very little sleep the night before.

I’d been helping with an important school fundraiser project, but at that moment I was wondering why I agreed to do so much. Being in charge of a large part of the event sounded fun when I’d signed up. But the fun quickly turned to stress. I’d underestimated how much time it would realistically take. Plus I’d completely overestimated my capacity to have the necessary energy to carry this to completion.

Then two other volunteers backed out and there I was, once again, frantic and frazzled.

Chaos nipped at the edges of my frayed nerves.

Somewhere between the lost permission slip that had to be signed, the misplaced library book due the week before, and the only bread available for sandwiches having mold on it, calm eluded me.

I pinched off the edges of the bread and toasted it. Surely that would fix it, right?

Then my youngest marched into the kitchen announcing it was chapel day at school and she needed a Bible. I instructed her to go get the pink one Grandma had given her.

“I lost that last month and my teacher keeps telling me to remind you to get me a Bible. I have to bring one today no exceptions or excuses,” she said in a tone I was afraid mimicked the way her teacher said it to her. Clearly, I was greatly impressing this teacher.

And clearly, this was yet another demonstration that I was failing as a mom. Her Bible had been lost for a month and I didn’t have a clue. Awesome.

“Take mine from my nightstand. Just make sure you bring it back home today,” I quipped, thankful to have a solution.

A few minutes later Bible girl came back, “I can’t find yours either. It’s not on your nightstand.”

Quickly my brain darted this way and that way through all the possible reasons why my Bible wouldn’t be on my nightstand. After tracing my steps and thinking through the last place I remembered having it, I realized I must have left it at church … four days earlier.

Awesome. And yet another glaring reminder of my shortcomings.

I wrote a note to the teacher explaining we were apparently having Bible-location issues in our family and that I would absolutely make sure my daughter had a Bible for next week’s chapel. Nothing humbles this Bible teacher quite like having to write a note like that.

Then I loaded up the kids in the van as the clock glared its reminder I would be late getting them to school again.

I imagine you might relate to this scenario even if the details are different.

I’m learning how important it is to be more realistic with assessing both how much time something is going to take and my capacity to fulfill that task. Knowing that I tend to underestimate time and overestimate my capacity, I must build in a buffer.

I’ve decided my time buffer should be 15 minutes. If I think something is going to take me an hour, I schedule one hour and 15 minutes. Anytime I make an exception to this, I regret it. And then if it takes me less time, I’m always grateful for the 15 minutes of breathing room.

Imagine how much more calm we’d all be with little spaces of breathing room tucked throughout our day!

Psalm 39:6-7 reminds us, “We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing. We heap up wealth, not knowing who will spend it. And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you.” (NLT)

All this rushing will end in nothing. That’s a sobering thought to a girl like me. A girl who is learning to be more honest about her time and her capacity. Why is it that the hardest person to be honest with sometimes is ourselves?

So today, let’s commit to unrush.

To better use the two most powerful words, yes and no.

And to place our hope in the Lord’s hands as we seek the Best Yes answers for our lives.

If you feel like you’ve set your life to the rhythm of rush and wish things could be different, my book The Best Yes can help. Get your copy here.

Today I’m giving away 5 copies of The Best Yes. To be entered to win, comment below with one way you’re going to tuck a little extra breathing room into your life this week.

Related posts:

10 Ways to Graciously Say No When You Feel Pressured to Say Yes
Recapture What Gets Lost in the Rush
It’s Almost Here… “The Best Yes”

Hope When Mother’s Day is Hard

Last year, I received many heartbreaking comments from women who were really struggling with Mother’s Day. Just the mention of the holiday stirred up deep hurt over infertility, adoption, and singleness. That’s why I asked my friend Holley Gerth to guest post today. She understands that deep hurt from her own journey with infertility, and I just love how she can shine a light into what can be a really dark place. Here’s Holley…

The single pink line on the pregnancy test mocked me from the bathroom counter. “You’ll never be a mother,” it seemed to whisper.

I sighed and dropped it into the trash—along with the hope it represented. Then I sat down on the edge of my bed and placed my head in my hands. “God,” I whispered, “Why does this have to be so hard?”

That scenario repeated itself for years in my life.

And then my heart began to slowly, unexpectedly heal as God changed my perspective on motherhood. A turning point came as I read the third chapter of Genesis one morning. In it Eve is called “the mother of all living.” In that moment God seemed to whisper this truth to my heart: All women are mothers. Because all women bring life to the world in some way.

We encourage. We feed bellies and hearts. We nurture dreams. We create beauty. We birth books. And, yes, some of us also have physical children. But that’s not the only way to bring life into this world—it’s one of many.

“I am not barren,” I began to tell myself, “I am blessed.”

I realized I brought life into the world through my words. I was a mother. Embracing that truth gave me new hope and helped fill the hollow space in my heart.

Years later I sat in my living room watching a documentary on kids who age out of the foster system. The narrator explained when these children turn eighteen they’re often simply told, “You’re on your own.” The story touched me deeply and when people asked if we’d considered adoption I started answering, “If I adopt, I’ll choose a twenty-year old.”

One time when I gave the response above a friend of mine asked, “Have you heard of Saving Grace?” It turned out a transitional living home for foster girls aging out of the system was being started right there in my town. I connected with the founder, Becky Shaffer, and when I told her my dream she didn’t look at me like I was crazy.

Although our lives were busy, Becky and I stayed in touch. The week of my thirty-sixth birthday she invited me to attend a banquet celebrating the accomplishments of the girls living at Saving Grace. God had impressed on my heart that my word for the next year of my life was to be love. And the night of the banquet I met my daughter: Lovelle.

How old was she? Twenty, of course.

Over the last year and a half we’ve become a family. She calls me “Mom” and my husband “Dad.” It turns out she’s a writer, speaker and dreamer too—which neither of us knew when we first connected. Those gifts were buried under years of abuse, surviving and even being homeless. But now they’re blooming like a sunflower. She married a wonderful guy in January so we now have a “son” too.

Do I know why I went through years of infertility or why Lovelle spent so much time without a family? No … and I won’t in this life. But I do know this: God is a relentless Redeemer. He took all the hurt we experienced and transformed it into joy we never expected.

God was not ignoring us. He was not overlooking our hearts. He was not holding out on us while giving everyone else what was good. Instead He was working the entire time to bring us to His very best.

Mother’s Day can be painful. Perhaps like me you’re in the middle of infertility. Or you might be pursuing an adoption that’s more difficult than you foresaw. Maybe you’re single and wondering if having the family you dream of is even possible. Wherever you are today, I want to whisper this to you … God is with you and He is for you. He will not leave the true desires of your heart unfulfilled; the answers just may look different than you planned.

All those single pink lines on pregnancy tests turned out to be lines in a love story. And I wouldn’t alter God’s ending for anything.

(Holley Gerth is a Wall Street Journal best-selling author, encourager and life coach. She’d love to have coffee with you. Until then, you can find her here or subscribe to her free devotionals. You can read Lovelle’s blog here.)

 

If you can relate to Holley’s post today, you’ll love her books! Today we’re giving away 5 bundles of What Your Heart Needs for the Hard Days, and a necklace from the Proverbs 31 Ministries Faith collection.



Read the book for encouragement. Wear the necklace as a reminder that we can trust and believe in our faithful God.

To be entered to win, leave a comment below with how this post encouraged you.

Related posts:

3 Things I Wish I’d Known When I Was Single
When God’s Assignments Feel Almost Impossible
Mother’s Day for the Motherless Mother

When Your Husband Has Given Up

I know the heart-ripping hopelessness of a relationship unraveling.

The silence. The rejection. The harsh words. The absence of intimacy. The questions. The lack of answers. The hurt feelings.

The first five years of my marriage were really hard. Two sinners coming together with loads of baggage, unrealistic expectations and extremely strong wills.

My heart aches for anyone in a marriage that’s struggling. Many of us have been there.

But I think the deepest hurt comes when one spouse resigns while the other is still trying. There is a panic that arises to somehow make the other person wake up, stop their resignation and help you fix this relationship.

A situation like this is much more complicated than simple answers I could offer here. But might I give you one stepping stone upon which to stand, to stop the panic and balance yourself?

Decide today that you are worthy.

Because you are. Worthy. You may not feel like it. But a quick glimpse at Psalm 139 assures me, you are.

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Psalm 139:13-14 (ESV)

You are fearfully and wonderfully made by a loving God who cares for you. Who loves you. And I’d rather depend on the solid truth of God than the rollercoaster of fickle feelings.

You are beautiful and captivating and attractive and smart and capable. But if you are in a relationship full of unmet expectations, unresolved issues and frustrating communication, I suspect you feel a little less than all I’ve described.

Broken-down relationships can really break down a woman.

And if you’re anything like me, when you feel broken down, those around you get your worst. Then upon all the hurt and anxiety you layer regret, shame and the feeling that you’ve lost yourself. You’ve lost that girl inside who used to be so positive and happy and ready to take on the world.

Can I whisper a tender truth to you? The only way to recapture her is to come up for air and remember: You are worthy because the Creator of the Universe says you are.

Then you can act worthy.

And step aside from the emotional yuck to make some levelheaded decisions. Get a plan. Talk to wise people who love you, provide godly counsel and will walk this tough journey with you.

Draw some boundaries with your husband, if some are needed.

Pray like crazy for clear discernment. Because Jesus is the best source of help.

Honest cries for help, lifted up to Jesus, will not go unheard. He sees. He knows. He loves. And Jesus will direct you as long as you stick with Him.

Remember, you can’t control how your husband acts and reacts, but you can control how you act and react.

Reclaim who you are.

I pray your relationship survives. I pray it with every fiber of my being. But if it doesn’t, I pray most of all that the beautiful woman you are rises above all the yuck, still clinging tightly to the only opinion that matters — the One who forever calls you worthy.

If you’re in a hard place in your marriage, leave a prayer request or comment that says “please pray.” And then let’s rally around one another with prayer. My team and I will personally be praying for you. You aren’t alone.

I’d also love to help encourage you with a 5-day challenge I put together. Click here to sign up for “Praying Boldly For Your Marriage.”

Related posts:

A Wedding Prayer, a Marriage Prayer
5 Ways to Pray Boldly For Your Marriage
When Prayers Seem to Fail

What Ignoring God Could Have Cost Me

Well, we’ve been working hard to spruce this place up a tad. I hope you like it. After all, I want you to feel as at home on my blog as I do. (And if you’re reading this through email, you may want to click here to see what I’m talking about.)

I’m so glad you’ve popped over for a visit. Feel free to poke around, but before you do, read this…

It was a hot day inside and outside at the orphan village in Liberia. The 12 boys inside, practicing their choir music, found their eyes wandering over to the soccer field, where the promise of fun and the cheers of their friends tugged at them.

They were feeling the pull of wanting to go outside and play soccer. But these boys determined the choir was worth the sacrifice.

Years earlier, Liberia had been ravaged by a civil war that left more than 25,000 orphans to be cared for. So to raise money and support, an a cappella boys’ choir was formed to travel throughout the country of Liberia and perform in churches.

Two of the teenage boys in that choir, Jackson and Mark, had been orphaned as babies when their parents and most of their siblings were killed by rebel forces.

Night after night these boys knelt beside their makeshift beds and poured out prayers of thanksgiving and hope that one day they’d hear six simple yet life-changing words, “You are my child—welcome home.”

God had a perfect design for their prayers to be answered and worked miracle after miracle to bring the boys choir to America. But little did I know that my husband Art and I would be part of the answer to Mark and Jackson’s prayers.

Our life was busy and full, and we were enjoying being the parents of three little girls. So you can imagine my surprise the night I went to see The Liberian Boys’ Choir concert at our church that I was stirred to consider adoption.

As I sat in the concert, God whispered to my heart that two of those boys singing were mine. No, I thought. Not me.

I felt like sticking my fingers in my ears and singing, La, la, la, la, la . . . I’m not listening to You, God! But the stirring in my heart wouldn’t stop.

I decided to try a new tactic with Him. Lord, I just came here tonight to bring my girls to a simple little cultural event. I’m not looking for a major life change. My life is already very full with speaking and writing and homeschooling three girls. Besides, all my friends would think I was crazy, and my husband would never think this is a good idea.

But God wasn’t discouraged by my response. His directive in my heart became more intense as the evening went on. After the concert, I asked the coordinator of the event which of the boys still needed homes so I could pray for them. He told me that eight of the boys still needed to find families and encouraged me to walk into the reception area where they were. If God intended for some of these boys to be ours, he was sure I’d know it.

Reluctantly, I walked into the reception area. In a matter of seconds, Jackson and Mark walked up to me, wrapped their arms around me, and called me Mom.

I was moved and terrified at the same time.

What began as a small heart prompting had turned into a very big decision for our family to make.

After talking with Art, we cried out to God, desperate for His guidance and wisdom. We pondered every aspect and wrestled with this decision deep in our spirits.

Still, doubts and questions flooded our minds: How could we financially increase the size of our family? How would we find the time in our already crammed schedule? How would we raise boys? How would we find room in our home? The list went on and on.

One day, I called my friend and poured out my heart. I told her I could list off many other parents who I felt were much more qualified than us. She patiently listened without much response as I asked, “Why me?”

Then quietly and prayerfully she answered. “Because God knew you’d say yes, Lysa.”

I was stunned. It was the highest compliment I’d ever received. My heart was filled with joy as memories filled my mind of the years of small steps God had me take to get me to the place where I could be prepared to take this much bigger step.

Now, over ten years later, I think back to me sitting in that church pew, just going about my ordinary life when God’s extraordinary invitation burst forth. I could have so easily walked out of that church and ignored God’s stirring. I’ve done that more times than I’d like to admit. But look at everything we would have missed out on had I done that.

Hear my heart: I’m not saying that everyone is called to adopt. But each day we can look for His invitation to leave our plans behind to join Him in His wondrous work through our own unique small steps of obedience.

What if the next big step God wants you to take is actually small?

Remember, my big step of faith came after years of taking small steps of faith. But no matter where you are or what God has called you to, you can take the first step. Find out more in our next FREE online Bible study of my book, What Happens When Women Walk in Faith. Sign up today.

I’m giving away 10 copies of What Happens When Women Walk in Faith today on the blog to help you get ready for the study. To be entered to win, leave a comment below telling me what small step you’re going to take this week.

Related posts:

What if the Next Big Step God Wants You to Take is Actually Small?
Stop Asking God to Speak and Start Praying for Better Ears
Holy Land Lens at Home

What if the Next Big Step God Wants You to Take is Actually Small?

Do you ever feel called to do something greater and more fulfilling for God, but can’t figure out where to start?

Or maybe you scroll through social media, seeing how God is using others and wonder if it’s too late for you?

Don’t believe that lie! God has powerful plans for each of our lives – we just have to be willing to take the first step.

So let me ask you a question: What if the next big step God wants you to take is actually small?

God may eventually ask you to take a leap of faith. But I believe there are some small steps that come first. And I can’t wait to show you what they are.

That’s why I’ve put together “A Guide to Stepping Out in Faith.” It’s based on the five phases of faith that many Biblical characters went through when they followed hard after God.

You can get your guide today for FREE by clicking here.

I can’t wait to take this journey with you!

Related posts:

It’s not just a Book. It’s a meal. A blanket. A textbook. A mission field.
Unrush Me
When God’s Assignments Feel Almost Impossible

Stop Asking God to Speak and Start Praying for Better Ears

Have you ever found yourself frustrated because it seems like God’s not speaking to you? I know. It’s hard. But I’m so challenged by this thought from my friend, Jeff Goins… What if God is already speaking, but we just aren’t in tune with His voice? Jeff is guest posting more about this on the blog today. Take it away, Jeff…

I don’t know about you, but I wish God would just speak to me. Oh, I know. He speaks through Scripture and community and as a still small voice in my soul. I get that. But sometimes I just wish the clouds would part, a shining light would drop down from the heavens, and the booming voice of the Almighty would speak.

Is that too much to ask?

I’m sure I’m not the only one who wishes for these things. But I wonder if God did speak to us, if He called us in the way that we expected, if we would really listen. In fact, I have good reason to believe that we wouldn’t.

Three thousand years ago, four or five miles northwest of Jerusalem in the hill country of Ephraim, there was a small town called Ramah, where a man named Elkanah lived. He had two wives, one who was infertile and the other who reminded her of this constantly.

Once during a trip to the ancient city of Shiloh, the barren wife Hannah was so plagued with shame that she made a public vow. If she would become pregnant, she would give her son to the high priest, dedicating his life to religious service. Shortly after, she conceived a son and named him Samuel. As soon as he was weaned, he was sent to Shiloh to serve the priest Eli.

Samuel was a special boy, a gift to his parents who long awaited his birth and a gift to Eli who only had disobedient sons. He served the priest in the work that he did, and the older man groomed him for a promising future.

One night, after months if not years of service, Samuel awoke before dawn. Startling awake, he sat up in bed and looked around.

Nothing.

He swore he’d heard somebody whispering his name. But no one was there. Settling back into bed, the boy fell asleep only to be awakened again a few seconds later. This time, he was sure; it was a voice.

“Here I am!” he shouted back. No answer. Running into Eli’s room, he shouted, “Here I am; you called me.”

Eli rose out of bed, squinting his eyes, which were beginning to fail him.

“I did not call,” he said, confused. “Go back and lie down.”

Samuel was confused as well, but he did not want to argue with his master. So he returned to his room and slowly laid his head back down. He forced his eyes shut, too anxious to sleep. For what seemed like hours but in reality was only a few minutes, Samuel lay in bed. Then as his eyelids began to grow heavy, he heard it again, just as quiet as before but persistent as ever.

“Samuel . . .”

He shot up in bed, his heart racing. He called his master while once again rushing into Eli’s room. Again, the two were equally confused.

“My son,” Eli said. “I did not call. Go back and lie down.”

But before Samuel could even put his head down on the pillow, he heard the voice again, even louder than before. He got up again and called to Eli, his voice quivering with fear.



But the master’s response was different this time. He told the boy to stop calling and instead to listen, giving him six words to say. So Samuel returned to bed and listened. When he heard the call a final time, he responded:

“Speak, for your servant is listening.”

And with those words, his life was never the same. How the boy heard and answered that call led to many significant events in Israel’s history, including the anointing of two kings, one who became the most famous the country would ever know. Samuel was called, and he answered.

But the scary part — the part we should pay attention to — is that he almost missed it.

The truth, I think, is that God is speaking. We just struggle to listen. And sometimes we mistakenly believe that calling is about listening. But what if it was more about learning to hear? What if God was already speaking, but we just weren’t in tune with His voice?

When we look at the call of Samuel, we see a similar process. It’s not just enough to listen. You have to put yourself in a posture to hear in the first place. And that choice is actually three choices:

1. Be still.

God’s call tends to not come in the midst of noise and chaos. It often arrives when we are quiet — late at night or early in the morning or maybe in the middle of the day. Or perhaps, those are just the times when we can hear.

2. Ask for help.

God’s call is not just personal. Moses had Aaron and Miriam. Jesus had the inner circle on the Mount of Transfiguration. It may come in private but it’s confirmed in community.

3. Say yes.

I know it sounds simplistic, but God will only push us so far when we say no. He is looking for us to invite Him deeper into our lives. Yes, He’s calling, but it’s up to you to respond.

That’s what I learned once I answered my call to be a writer. I realized in His own way, God had been calling me to this vocation my whole life. I just lacked the ability to discern the message. And the truth is it took a team of mentors and a discovery process, not a single epiphany, to finally figure out what I was meant to do.

Maybe the same will be true for you, too.

Jeff Goins is the author of four books including his latest, The Art of Work: A Proven Path to Discovering What You Were Meant to Do. Jeff’s new book will help you make sense of your life, understand how a calling works, and what the next step is. Find out more here.

Today, we’re giving away 10 copies of The Art of Work right here on the blog! Just leave a comment below with which of the 3 choices you’re going to focus on this week to listen for God’s voice.

Related posts:

And then I received another rejection letter
Never doubt the power of speaking words of life into another…
Why I’m Breaking Up With My “Quiet Time”

Her Success Does Not Threaten Mine

We have a choice today.

We can look out and see the unlimited, abundant opportunities God has placed before us.

To create. To write. To serve. To sing. To be and become.

Or we can stare at the opportunity of another person and get entangled in the enemy’s lie that everything is scarce.

Scarce opportunities. Scarce supply. Scarce possibilities.

And we start seeing another person’s creations as a threat to our own opportunities.

Several years ago, I remember pouring out all the best words I had through pixelated letters turned pages turned book proposal. I tucked my heart and dreams into a purple Office Max binder (because nothing says “I’m author material!” more than a purple Office Max binder) and hoped for the best.

That summer I was able to place my proposal into the hands of several acquisitions editors. And for each one I handed out, I was later sent a nice but very direct rejection letter. At the same time, other writer friends I had were getting different letters from the publishers…

I’m talking about this more over at (in)courage today and I’d love to have you join in on the conversation. Click here to read the rest of my post.

Related posts:

5 Ways to Pray Boldly For Your Marriage
I’m Disappointed In Myself
An Invitation To Come Over?

And then I received another rejection letter

I remember the letter like it was yesterday. In a nutshell, it was another publisher telling me my writing did not meet their needs at that time.

And in his attempt to soften the blow, he’d added a wee bit of humor. “Just use this letter as the liner of your cat litter box as I’m sure one day things will work out for you.”

As if a little humor ever helped someone who has just been knocked into a pit of rejection.

The letter wasn’t even signed.

I was standing at my mailbox at the time because at that point in my life I didn’t think email would ever really take off and I’d requested all communications to be sent to my home address.

And by all future communications of course, I had a book contract in mind.

Not a litter box liner humor rejection letter.

It was clear from this letter that nobody at the publishing house stood up in awe as they read my typed words and enthusiastically exclaimed, “Girl has skills!”

I hung my head, got into my car, and drove to my local bookstore. I saved up all my tears until I was smack dab in the middle of thousands of other books – thousands of other writers who’d received a thumbs up to their dreams – thousands of other people with evidence that their writing mattered – and I sobbed.

The kind of sobbing that should be reserved for a funeral.

But in that moment, the death of my dream that never had enough life to warrant a funeral was a deep, deep grief.

The tears didn’t come from my eyes. They didn’t come from my heart. They came from my soul that was always slightly suspicious that God really didn’t have any sort of spectacular plan when He created me.

After my rather impressive display of emotion in the middle of the bookstore, I drove home and silently declared I’d never set myself up for this kind of rejection again.

I put all my writing attempts in a file drawer. I made tacos for dinner. And I made note of the fact that God did nothing to soften this blow.

There was no verse mysteriously written on a slip of paper that suddenly wafted down from my kitchen ceiling. There was no friend that called and said she felt led by the Holy Spirit to encourage me in my writing. There was no divine directive that gave any sort of inspiration for me to keep going.

Nothing.

There was just this utter realization that I’d now have to tell all those praying for me that this writing a book thing was a no-go. In essence, with no affirmation from a publisher, I felt I had no skills. And I’d obviously heard God wrong.

So, surely I should give up.

Oh how I wish I could go sit with myself on that day from the vantage point of this day.

I would hand myself a tissue and state that this was not at all a rejection from God. It was a timing issue.

Sometimes callings from God unfold in a miraculous instant. But more often callings happen within a million slow moments of revelation and maturation.

I needed to experience God revealing Himself and maturing me so I could properly handle the Truth I would eventually write and speak about. And so that I could develop my communication skills by learning how to string thoughts and words together that connected and could be received by an audience.

We are charged to be prepared in 2 Timothy 4:2, “Preach the Word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke, and encourage – with great patience and careful instruction.” I needed the revelation of the Word so I could properly preach the Word. I needed maturity so I could fulfill that last part of the verse “with great patience and careful instruction.”

I am thankful it would be nearly 4 years – approximately 1,400 days – 35,040 hours – over 2.1 million moments before I was ready emotionally, spiritually, and developmentally to properly handle the weight of God’s Word and a book assignment.

Have you ever felt a stirring to write or attempted to write only to have something or someone shut it down?

I understand. That’s why 14 years ago, after I finally had a publisher say yes, I knew I had to help other writers coming behind me. So, I developed a conference called She Speaks to train, equip, connect, and breathe life into other writers’ dreams.

You can click here for more information about She Speaks.

But whether you want to put pen to page and write or fulfill another calling from God, let me assure you slow progress is better than no progress.

The slow unfolding of readiness in us is often misunderstood to be a quick rejection by God. What a tragic mistake this is for many of us who too quickly shut down in our flesh what God is trying to develop in our spirit.

Sweet sister, don’t give up. Stand up! Ask yourself the reflection questions I’ve listed below. Then, walk toward the calling God created you to fulfill.

1) Have I taken this seriously by investing time, effort, and resources in my development?

2) Have I given up too soon?

3) What have I let dissuade me from this that I need to face?

4) Have I mistakingly bought into the lie that all the opportunities for my calling have already been given to other people?

5) What’s one thing I can do today to move my calling forward?

Related posts:

A Sneak Peek of My Next Book
3 Ways to Press Through Unanswered Prayer
When God’s Assignments Feel Almost Impossible

Never doubt the power of speaking words of life into another…

There is a little piece of nylon rope attached around my wrist that boosts my heart on a daily basis.

Bob Goff put it there last June. He burned the ends together creating an astoundingly strong bond. “You belong,” he whispered.

And something deep in my heart settled.

If you’ve been visiting the blog for a while, you know my story. But for those of you who haven’t heard me share a bit about my growing up years, parts of my story are hard. Really hard.

I was the little girl very much unwanted by the dad who gave me life.

He doesn’t talk to me to this day. And while healing has been doing its thing in deep places within me, I still have moments where this whole deal reeks. Like cigarette smoke that suddenly swirls past me in a restaurant.

I don’t like it. It stinks. I didn’t ask for this. I am frustrated that I can’t block it from coming in my direction. And sometimes it even sticks to me for a while with an annoying lingering that’s hard to get rid of.

That’s a bum deal, right?

So Bob, this dude with a crazy sense of breathless wonder oozing with the sincerest Jesus love I’ve ever seen, crosses my path and stops to see me. Really see me.

He prioritizes me for a few moments above all else to whisper words of life into the very part of my soul that needed it the most. The part that never heard those words from my dad. The part that sometimes still wishes for something that a broken dad can’t give.

And Bob places this bracelet of belonging on my wrist for me to see daily. Jesus has done so many things to rewrite the truth of my identity… and this is certainly one of the sweetest.

Never doubt the power of speaking words of life into another.

Hit the pause button on all of the projects that are screaming at you from your to-do list today and speak life into another person. It doesn’t have to be complicated or well-crafted. Simple words of encouragement are simply powerful.

We need to make sure it’s people, not projects, that occupy the sacred places of our hearts. And to help us do just that we’ve created this beautiful printable set that reminds us to prioritize relationships in the midst of our to-do lists.

For a limited time, we’re making these People Over Projects Printable Sets available for only $1.99. Think of it as a fun, relationship to-do list – things you can do to invest wisely and deeply into people who need your encouragement.

Get your printable set here.

Related posts:

How to Choose People Over Projects
The Prayer That Changed My Life
When God’s Assignments Feel Almost Impossible