Christina Bauer's Blog, page 87
January 2, 2014
Book Review: Dragonswood
The post Book Review: Dragonswood appeared first on Ink Monster.
December 31, 2013
LOL FUN: Dave Barry, the King of Pee-Your-Pants Funny
Below please find, for your reading pleasure, some of the greatest Dave Barry quotes of all time. Like it? You’ll find more awesome stuff at his website…
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there are men on base.
The three immutable laws of New York taxis:
1. DRIVER SPEAKS NO ENGLISH.
2. DRIVER JUST GOT HERE TWO DAYS AGO FROM SOMEPLACE LIKE SENEGAL.
3. DRIVER HATES YOU.
At the Miami Herald we ordinarily don’t provide extensive coverage of New York City unless a major news development occurs up there, such as Sean Penn coming out of a restaurant.
How do these celebrities stay so impossibly thin? Simple: They have full-time personal trainers, who advise them on nutrition, give them pep talks, and shoot them with tranquilizer darts whenever they try to crawl, on hunger-weakened limbs, toward the packet of rice cakes that constitutes the entire food supply in their 37,000-square-foot mansions. For most celebrities, the biggest meal of the day is toothpaste (they use reduced-fat Crest).
MAKE A SIMPLE COMPASS
Here’s a simple experiment that you might want to try if there is absolutely nothing else going on in your life. All you need is a cork, a bar magnet, and a pail of water. Simply attach your magnet to your cork, then drop it into the water, and voilà (literally, “you have a compass”)—you have a compass. How does it work? Simple. Notice that, no matter which way you turn the bucket, the cork always floats on top of the water (unless the magnet is too heavy). Using this scientific principle, early hardy mariners were able to tell at a glance whether they were sinking!
Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.
But my point is that competitive eating is a real sport, and I considered taking it up. But when I thought about what this would mean—sitting around for hours, stuffing my face with unhealthy food—I realized it was basically the same thing as journalism.
The other day my son and I were talking, and the subject of women came up, and I realized that it was time he and I had a Serious Talk. That’s the talk every father should have with his son; and yet, far too often, we fathers avoid the subject because it’s so awkward. The subject I am referring to is: buying gifts for women. This is an area where many men do not have a clue. Exhibit A was my father, who was a very thoughtful man, but who once gave my mother, on their anniversary, the following token of his love, his commitment, and—yes—his passion for her: an electric blanket.
To you taxpayers out there, let me say this: Make sure you file your tax return on time! And remember that, even though income taxes can be a “pain in the neck,” the folks at the IRS are regular people just like you, except that they can destroy your life.
On the IRS website, you can travel through history with Sherri and PJ in PJ’s “time taxi” and learn everything about the American tax system, except (1) why it’s riddled with loopholes for special interests; and (2) why it’s incomprehensible to most Americans. At the end of this journey, you realize, along with Sherri and PJ, that we have a really swell and fair tax system, and that we need to pay taxes so our government can provide us with benefits such as…well, such as an elaborate Internet site that brainwashes young people. Ha ha! There I go again! What a kidder I am!
Here’s my proposal, which is based on the TV show Survivor: We put the entire Congress on an island. All the food on this island is locked inside a vault, which can be opened only by an ordinary American taxpayer named Bob. Every day, the congresspersons are given a section of the Tax Code, which they must rewrite so that Bob can understand it. If he can, he lets them eat that day; if he can’t, he doesn’t.
On behalf of the newspaper industry, I wish to announce some changes we’re making to serve you better. When I say “serve you better,” I mean “increase our profits.” We newspapers are very big on profits these days. We’re a business, just like any other business, except that we employ English majors.
Miami loves to party. We party to celebrate when something good happens, such as winning the World Series, which we do, like clockwork, every six years. When something bad happens, we party to cheer ourselves up. When nothing is happening, we party because we are bored. If Fidel ever dies, Miami will not regain consciousness for decades.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Men: You know how, when your wife can’t open a pickle jar, she gives it to you, and you’re supposed to smile in a manly patronizing way as you effortlessly twist it open? That’s not what happens in our house. What happens is, after a grim struggle lasting several minutes, I wind up lying on the kitchen floor, exhausted and whimpering, while the pickle jar, unopened, laughs and flirts boldly with my wife. Sometimes it gives me a wedgie.
The weightlifting competition I saw was the women’s 63 kg class. I’m not sure whether this means the actual women weighed 63 kg or the weights they lifted weighed 63 kg. Or possibly the temperature in the weightlifting hall was 63 kg. There’s no way to know for sure without finding out what a “kg” is, and my belief, as an American, is that if I have to start understanding the metric system, then the terrorists have won.
But the more important implication is that dog spit could be a revolutionary new hair-growth treatment for balding men. Granted, we do not yet have actual laboratory proof of this. But we do have a published report in the form of this column, which has been printed in a newspaper with professional-looking margins.
Also in the LOL FUN Series:
Top 5 movies for shtick
Mel Brooks, Demigod of Shtick
The post LOL FUN: Dave Barry, the King of Pee-Your-Pants Funny appeared first on Ink Monster.
The King of Pee-Your-Pants Funny: Dave Barry
Below please find, for your reading pleasure, some of the greatest Dave Barry quotes of all time. Like it? You’ll find more awesome stuff at his website…
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there are men on base.
The three immutable laws of New York taxis:
1. DRIVER SPEAKS NO ENGLISH.
2. DRIVER JUST GOT HERE TWO DAYS AGO FROM SOMEPLACE LIKE SENEGAL.
3. DRIVER HATES YOU.
At the Miami Herald we ordinarily don’t provide extensive coverage of New York City unless a major news development occurs up there, such as Sean Penn coming out of a restaurant.
How do these celebrities stay so impossibly thin? Simple: They have full-time personal trainers, who advise them on nutrition, give them pep talks, and shoot them with tranquilizer darts whenever they try to crawl, on hunger-weakened limbs, toward the packet of rice cakes that constitutes the entire food supply in their 37,000-square-foot mansions. For most celebrities, the biggest meal of the day is toothpaste (they use reduced-fat Crest).
MAKE A SIMPLE COMPASS
Here’s a simple experiment that you might want to try if there is absolutely nothing else going on in your life. All you need is a cork, a bar magnet, and a pail of water. Simply attach your magnet to your cork, then drop it into the water, and voilà (literally, “you have a compass”)—you have a compass. How does it work? Simple. Notice that, no matter which way you turn the bucket, the cork always floats on top of the water (unless the magnet is too heavy). Using this scientific principle, early hardy mariners were able to tell at a glance whether they were sinking!
Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.
But my point is that competitive eating is a real sport, and I considered taking it up. But when I thought about what this would mean—sitting around for hours, stuffing my face with unhealthy food—I realized it was basically the same thing as journalism.
The other day my son and I were talking, and the subject of women came up, and I realized that it was time he and I had a Serious Talk. That’s the talk every father should have with his son; and yet, far too often, we fathers avoid the subject because it’s so awkward. The subject I am referring to is: buying gifts for women. This is an area where many men do not have a clue. Exhibit A was my father, who was a very thoughtful man, but who once gave my mother, on their anniversary, the following token of his love, his commitment, and—yes—his passion for her: an electric blanket.
To you taxpayers out there, let me say this: Make sure you file your tax return on time! And remember that, even though income taxes can be a “pain in the neck,” the folks at the IRS are regular people just like you, except that they can destroy your life.
On the IRS website, you can travel through history with Sherri and PJ in PJ’s “time taxi” and learn everything about the American tax system, except (1) why it’s riddled with loopholes for special interests; and (2) why it’s incomprehensible to most Americans. At the end of this journey, you realize, along with Sherri and PJ, that we have a really swell and fair tax system, and that we need to pay taxes so our government can provide us with benefits such as…well, such as an elaborate Internet site that brainwashes young people. Ha ha! There I go again! What a kidder I am!
Here’s my proposal, which is based on the TV show Survivor: We put the entire Congress on an island. All the food on this island is locked inside a vault, which can be opened only by an ordinary American taxpayer named Bob. Every day, the congresspersons are given a section of the Tax Code, which they must rewrite so that Bob can understand it. If he can, he lets them eat that day; if he can’t, he doesn’t.
On behalf of the newspaper industry, I wish to announce some changes we’re making to serve you better. When I say “serve you better,” I mean “increase our profits.” We newspapers are very big on profits these days. We’re a business, just like any other business, except that we employ English majors.
Miami loves to party. We party to celebrate when something good happens, such as winning the World Series, which we do, like clockwork, every six years. When something bad happens, we party to cheer ourselves up. When nothing is happening, we party because we are bored. If Fidel ever dies, Miami will not regain consciousness for decades.
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Men: You know how, when your wife can’t open a pickle jar, she gives it to you, and you’re supposed to smile in a manly patronizing way as you effortlessly twist it open? That’s not what happens in our house. What happens is, after a grim struggle lasting several minutes, I wind up lying on the kitchen floor, exhausted and whimpering, while the pickle jar, unopened, laughs and flirts boldly with my wife. Sometimes it gives me a wedgie.
The weightlifting competition I saw was the women’s 63 kg class. I’m not sure whether this means the actual women weighed 63 kg or the weights they lifted weighed 63 kg. Or possibly the temperature in the weightlifting hall was 63 kg. There’s no way to know for sure without finding out what a “kg” is, and my belief, as an American, is that if I have to start understanding the metric system, then the terrorists have won.
But the more important implication is that dog spit could be a revolutionary new hair-growth treatment for balding men. Granted, we do not yet have actual laboratory proof of this. But we do have a published report in the form of this column, which has been printed in a newspaper with professional-looking margins.
UP NEXT TIME: Why Mel Brooks is a demigod.
The post The King of Pee-Your-Pants Funny: Dave Barry appeared first on Ink Monster.
December 25, 2013
Angelbound on the iTunes Home Page for Fantasy
# # #
PRESS RELEASE
iTunes Bookstore Highlights Ink Monster Titles on Banner, Home Page and More
Becoming Alpha and Angelbound are featured heavily across iBooks, the online bookstore for iTunes.
NEWTON, Mass. – December 27, 2013 – Ink Monster LLC, publisher of new adult romance books in genres of sci-fi, fantasy, urban fantasy, and paranormal romance, announced that their first two titles, Becoming Alpha by Aileen Erin and Angelbound by Christina Bauer, are both featured heavily across iBooks, the online bookstore for iTunes. Prime placement includes:
-Angelbound thumbnail on the home page for Fantasy:
-Becoming Alpha thumbnail on the home page for all of iBooks
-Becoming Alpha banner treatment on the home page for Fantasy and Science Fiction:
“New publishers rarely get this kind of support from an established player like iTunes,” says Aileen Latcham, Editorial Monster. “This treatment is a direct result of the visionary style of iTunes, the hard work of our distributor INscribe Digital, and the overwhelming support of pre-street readers, who’ve made it clear they want stories that are—to use their own words from reviews—’fresh’ and ‘kickass.’ We’re proud to deliver what they’re looking for.”
To find out more, please visit www.InkMonster.net. To sign up for the company’s newsletter, please complete the form here.
About Angelbound by Christina Bauer Eighteen-year-old Myla Lewis is a girl who loves two things: kicking ass and kicking ass. She’s not your every day quasi-demon, half-demon and half-human, girl. For the past five years, Myla has lived for the days she gets to fight in Purgatory’s arena. When souls want a trial by combat for their right to enter heaven or hell, they go up against her, and she hasn’t lost a battle yet.
But as she starts her senior year at Purgatory High, the arena fights aren’t enough to keep her spirits up anymore. When the demons start to act weird, even for demons, and the King of the Demons, Armageddon, shows up at Myla’s school, she knows that things are changing and it’s not looking good for the quasi-demons. Myla starts to question everything, and doesn’t like the answers she finds. What happened seventeen years ago that turned the quasi-demons into slave labor? Why was her mom always so sad? And why won’t anyone tell her who her father is? Things heat up when Myla meets Lincoln, the High Prince of the Thrax, a super sexy half-human and half-angel demon hunter. But what’s a quasi-demon girl to do when she falls for a demon hunter? It’s a good thing that Myla’s not afraid of breaking a few rules. With a love worth fighting for, Myla’s going to shake up Purgatory.
For more information on Angelbound, visit the following URL: http://inkmonster.net/books/angelbound
About Becoming Alpha by Aileen Erin One stupid party. One stupid boy. One stupid kiss. And my life was virtually over.
Tessa McCaide has a unique talent for getting into trouble. Then again, it isn’t easy for a girl with visions to ignore what she sees. Luckily Tessa and her family are leaving California and moving halfway across the country, giving her the perfect opportunity to leave her reputation as “Freaky Tessa” behind.
But Tessa doesn’t realize that kissing the wrong guy in her new Texas town could land her in far more trouble than she ever imagined. 
Like being forced to attend St. Ailbe’s Academy, a secret boarding school for werewolves.
Even if the wrong guy did accidentally turn her into one of “them” and doom her to attending the weirdest high school ever, Tessa can’t help her growing attraction to the mysterious Dastien Laurent.
When vampires attack St. Alibe’s and her visions pinpoint an enemy in their midst, Tessa realizes that boy drama and her newfound canine tendencies might just be the least of her problems.
For more information on Becoming Alpha, visit the following URL: http://inkmonster.net/books/alpha-girl
About Ink Monster Ink Monster LLC publishes new adult romance books in the genres of sci-fi, fantasy, urban fantasy, and paranormal romance. The Company follows a studio model with teams of authors developing story-worlds under the umbrella of Ink Monster intellectual property. Ink Monster’s first two books, Angelbound and Becoming Alpha, are now available for pre-order. For more information, visit www.InkMonster.net.
###Copyright © 2013 Ink Monster LLC. All Rights Reserved. All other brand names, product names, or trademarks belong to their respective holders.
Media Inquiries: PR@inkmonster.net
The post Angelbound on the iTunes Home Page for Fantasy appeared first on Ink Monster.
December 20, 2013
Shocking Stuff I Couldn’t Help But Overhear in Starbucks
Long story short, I’ve overheard some SUPER crazy stuff, such as:
From two young girls: “Let’s open up Facebook and make a photo album of all the guys we’ve slept with!” “Okay!” (AUTHOR’S NOTE: This went on for a long time. I had to suppress the urge to walk over, close their laptops, and go on a tirade about the eternal nature of the internets.)
From a sketchy-looking guy in knock-off hipster duds: “Let’s go through the web site designs I made for you…Wow, I don’t know why my internet is so slow today, I’ll have to call tech support.” [AUTHOR NOTE: at this point, everyone else in Starbucks gets kicked off WI-FI] “Hey, what did you say?…Sorry about the noise…No, I’m in the office…It’s just really busy here today.” [AUTHOR'S NOTE: The screechy espresso machine was going throughout the call.]
From a lady with a bullhorn-quality voice to her friend: “My boyfriend called me a whiny, loud mouthed [rhymes with blunt]. WHY WOULD HE CALL ME A WHINY, LOUD-MOUTHED, [RHYMES WITH BLUNT]?!”
From a foreign gentleman: “I can Skype video!” [AUTHOR NOTE: once again, WI-FI disappears at Starbucks. No, he didn't use a headset. And yes, this went on for a long, long time.]
In summary, these experiences were not only amusing, but each reinforced a valuable life lesson. My key takeaways:
Cataloging past liaisons on Facebook? Probably a life choice you’ll regret down the road.
People will believe almost anything from someone who dresses like a hipster and says they’re a graphic designer.
If you’re planning to open your soul to your best friend, invite them over to your house. Especially if you are incapable of whispering for some strange reason.
Sometimes, when the Russian guy won’t stop video Skyping, it’s time to discretely say something to the manager. Yeah, I’m that chick in Starbucks, and I likes it.
UP NEXT TIME: Not sure why Fire Station Three of Newton Upper Falls goes on a latte run every day at 2:30PM, but somehow I always seem to be writing at that time. Go figure.
The post Shocking Stuff I Couldn’t Help But Overhear in Starbucks appeared first on Ink Monster.
December 19, 2013
Why Ruby the Dog is a Frustrated Author
Oh yeah, and they’re giving away four copies of Angelbound for free, too. Just sayin’
On a final note: Look at this face…How can you not click right now?
Ruby and the annoying duck
The post Why Ruby the Dog is a Frustrated Author appeared first on Ink Monster.
December 18, 2013
Press Release: Angelbound and Becoming Alpha Book Launch!
# # #
Ink Monster LLC Launches First Books
Angelbound and Becoming Alpha are now ready to order on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble and iTunes, along with pre-orders for their sequels, Angelbound: Scala and Alpha Girl: Avoiding Alpha.
NEWTON, Mass. – December 17, 2013 – Ink Monster LLC, publisher of new adult romance books in genres of sci-fi, fantasy, urban fantasy, and paranormal romance, today announced that their first two titles, Angelbound by Christina Bauer and Becoming Alpha by Aileen Erin, are both available for reviews and orders as follows:
Angelbound Reviews and Orders: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes
Becoming Alpha Reviews and Orders: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes
“We’re thrilled to announce the availability of our first two titles for pre-order,” says Aileen Latcham, Editorial Monster. “This represents a global effort across our creative monsters in the US, UK, Belgium, Portugal and Ireland. I’m proud of the stellar work our team has done on a tight timeframe.”
Each book is part of a greater series that will include a minimum of three titles across a regular schedule of release dates in December, May and September of each year. The next titles in the Angelbound and Alpha Girl series are due out in May, 2014. In addition, Ink Monster’s Superheroine Development Team is creating a new series of romance novels in the urban fantasy genre that will also be launched in May, 2014. Details on Ink Monster’s unique publishing approach may be found in the company’s manifesto. More information on each title is listed below.
To find out more, visit www.InkMonster.net. To sign up for the company’s newsletter, please complete the form here.
About Angelbound by Christina Bauer Eighteen-year-old Myla Lewis is a girl who loves two things: kicking ass and kicking ass. She’s not your every day quasi-demon, half-demon and half-human, girl. For the past five years, Myla has lived for the days she gets to fight in Purgatory’s arena. When souls want a trial by combat for their right to enter heaven or hell, they go up against her, and she hasn’t lost a battle yet.
But as she starts her senior year at Purgatory High, the arena fights aren’t enough to keep her spirits up anymore. When the demons start to act weird, even for demons, and the King of the Demons, Armageddon, shows up at Myla’s school, she knows that things are changing and it’s not looking good for the quasi-demons. Myla starts to question everything, and doesn’t like the answers she finds. What happened seventeen years ago that turned the quasi-demons into slave labor? Why was her mom always so sad? And why won’t anyone tell her who her father is? Things heat up when Myla meets Lincoln, the High Prince of the Thrax, a super sexy half-human and half-angel demon hunter. But what’s a quasi-demon girl to do when she falls for a demon hunter? It’s a good thing that Myla’s not afraid of breaking a few rules. With a love worth fighting for, Myla’s going to shake up Purgatory.
For more information on Angelbound, visit the following URL: http://inkmonster.net/books/angelbound
About Becoming Alpha by Aileen Erin One stupid party. One stupid boy. One stupid kiss. And my life was virtually over.
Tessa McCaide has a unique talent for getting into trouble. Then again, it isn’t easy for a girl with visions to ignore what she sees. Luckily Tessa and her family are leaving California and moving halfway across the country, giving her the perfect opportunity to leave her reputation as “Freaky Tessa” behind.
But Tessa doesn’t realize that kissing the wrong guy in her new Texas town could land her in far more trouble than she ever imagined. Like being forced to attend St. Ailbe’s Academy, a secret boarding school for werewolves.
Even if the wrong guy did accidentally turn her into one of “them” and doom her to attending the weirdest high school ever, Tessa can’t help her growing attraction to the mysterious Dastien Laurent.
When vampires attack St. Alibe’s and her visions pinpoint an enemy in their midst, Tessa realizes that boy drama and her newfound canine tendencies might just be the least of her problems.
For more information on Becoming Alpha, visit the following URL: http://inkmonster.net/books/alpha-girl
About Ink Monster Ink Monster LLC publishes new adult romance books in the genres of sci-fi, fantasy, urban fantasy, and paranormal romance. The Company follows a studio model with teams of authors developing story-worlds under the umbrella of Ink Monster intellectual property. Ink Monster’s first two books, Angelbound and Becoming Alpha, are now available for pre-order. For more information, visit www.InkMonster.net.
###Copyright © 2013 Ink Monster LLC. All Rights Reserved. All other brand names, product names, or trademarks belong to their respective holders.
Media Inquiries: PR@inkmonster.net
New installments in the Angelbound and Alpha Girl series are now live for pre-order on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble and iTunes.
NEWTON, Mass. – November 27, 2013 – Ink Monster LLC, publisher of new adult romance books in genres of sci-fi, fantasy, urban fantasy, and paranormal romance, today announced that two new sequels, Angelbound: Scala by Christina Bauer and Alpha Girl: Avoiding Alpha by Aileen Erin, are both available for pre-order on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, and iTunes.
“We’ve been overwhelmed by the pre-street support for the Angelbound and Alpha Girl series,” says Aileen Latcham, Editorial Monster. “We’re thrilled to announce that sequels for both books are now available for pre-order. Creating top-quality stories on a predictable timeframe is a key part of our editorial commitment to our readers.”
At Ink Monster, each book series includes a minimum of three titles across a regular schedule of release dates in December, May and September. The next installments of the Angelbound and Alpha Girl series are due for release on May 13, 2014, along with a new superheroine series. More details on Ink Monster’s unique publishing approach may be found in the company’s manifesto. Additional information on each title is listed below.
To find out more, visit www.InkMonster.net. To sign up for the company’s newsletter, please complete the form here.
About Angelbound: Scala by Christina Bauer Nineteen-year-old Myla Lewis has transformed into the Great Scala, the only being with the power to move human souls to Heaven or Hell. Although she no longer fights demons in the Arena, Myla still has tons of ass-kicking to do as she redefines the afterlife and rebuilds Purgatory’s government. Unfortunately, her world falls apart faster than she can put it together. An enemy out of Myla’s past is sapping her powers, making her weaker by the day. Even worse, her angel bound-love Lincoln has mysteriously disappeared. As her true enemy becomes clear, Myla discovers that all the after-realms are at risk. After losing so much power, does she still have the strength to save her world?
To pre-order Angelbound: Scala, visit Amazon, B&N or iTunes.
About Avoiding Alpha by Aileen Erin Seventeen-year-old Tessa McCaide has come a long way since her abrupt entrance into the world of werewolves, but she still has a way to go before she’s comfortable with going full-wolf. So, she’s avoiding thinking about it any way she can. Thankfully her hot mate, Dastien Larent, is proving to be quite the distraction.
But when she finds her suitemate getting sick in their bathroom, she knows something’s majorly wrong. The curse on Meredith that suppresses her wolf is slowly killing her, and Tessa can’t sit idly by while her best friend wastes away. Going against her pack Alpha, Mr. Dawson, by playing with magic she doesn’t fully understand might not be her smartest move, but Tessa has never been one to follow the rules. She’ll break every one if it’ll give her a chance at saving Meredith. But can she save her friend without losing more of herself?
To pre-order Avoiding Alpha, visit Amazon, B&N or iTunes.
About Ink Monster Ink Monster LLC publishes new adult romance books in the genres of sci-fi, fantasy, urban fantasy, and paranormal romance. The Company follows a studio model with teams of authors developing story-worlds under the umbrella of Ink Monster intellectual property. Ink Monster’s first two books, Angelbound and Becoming Alpha, launch on December 17, 2013. For more information, visit www.InkMonster.net.
###Copyright © 2013 Ink Monster LLC. All Rights Reserved. All other brand names, product names, or trademarks belong to their respective holders.
Media Inquiries: PR@inkmonster.net
The post Press Release: Angelbound and Becoming Alpha Book Launch! appeared first on Ink Monster.
December 17, 2013
Press Release: Angelbound and Becoming Alpha Book Launch
# # #
Ink Monster LLC Launches First Books
Angelbound and Becoming Alpha are now ready for order on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble and iTunes
NEWTON, Mass. – December 17, 2013 – Ink Monster LLC, publisher of new adult romance books in genres of sci-fi, fantasy, urban fantasy, and paranormal romance, announced that their first two titles, Angelbound by Christina Bauer and Becoming Alpha by Aileen Erin, are both available for reviews and orders as follows:
Angelbound Reviews and Orders: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes
Becoming Alpha Reviews and Orders: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes
“We’ve been overwhelmed by the pre-street response to our first books,” says Aileen Latcham, Editorial Monster. “We did a quick tally, and the two most common terms used to describe the books on Goodreads were “fresh’ and ‘kick-ass.’ Simply put, we couldn’t be happier.”
In addition, the next books in each of these series are currently available for pre-order on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, and iTunes, namely: Angelbound: Scala by Christina Bauer and Alpha Girl: Avoiding Alpha by Aileen Erin. These titles are scheduled to launch on May 13, 2014. In addition, Ink Monster’s Superheroine Development Team is creating a new series of romance novels in the urban fantasy genre that will also be launched at that time.
To find out more, visit www.InkMonster.net. To sign up for the company’s newsletter, please complete the form here.
About Angelbound by Christina Bauer
Eighteen-year-old Myla Lewis is a girl who loves two things: kicking ass and kicking ass. She’s not your every day quasi-demon, half-demon and half-human, girl. For the past five years, Myla has lived for the days she gets to fight in Purgatory’s arena. When souls want a trial by combat for their right to enter heaven or hell, they go up against her, and she hasn’t lost a battle yet.
But as she starts her senior year at Purgatory High, the arena fights aren’t enough to keep her spirits up anymore. When the demons start to act weird, even for demons, and the King of the Demons, Armageddon, shows up at Myla’s school, she knows that things are changing and it’s not looking good for the quasi-demons. Myla starts to question everything, and doesn’t like the answers she finds. What happened seventeen years ago that turned the quasi-demons into slave labor? Why was her mom always so sad? And why won’t anyone tell her who her father is? Things heat up when Myla meets Lincoln, the High Prince of the Thrax, a super sexy half-human and half-angel demon hunter. But what’s a quasi-demon girl to do when she falls for a demon hunter? It’s a good thing that Myla’s not afraid of breaking a few rules. With a love worth fighting for, Myla’s going to shake up Purgatory.
For more information on Angelbound, visit the following URL: http://inkmonster.net/books/angelbound
About Becoming Alpha by Aileen Erin
One stupid party. One stupid boy. One stupid kiss. And my life was virtually over.
Tessa McCaide has a unique talent for getting into trouble. Then again, it isn’t easy for a girl with visions to ignore what she sees. Luckily Tessa and her family are leaving California and moving halfway across the country, giving her the perfect opportunity to leave her reputation as “Freaky Tessa” behind.
But Tessa doesn’t realize that kissing the wrong guy in her new Texas town could land her in far more trouble than she ever imagined. Like being forced to attend St. Ailbe’s Academy, a secret boarding school for werewolves.
Even if the wrong guy did accidentally turn her into one of “them” and doom her to attending the weirdest high school ever, Tessa can’t help her growing attraction to the mysterious Dastien Laurent.
When vampires attack St. Alibe’s and her visions pinpoint an enemy in their midst, Tessa realizes that boy drama and her newfound canine tendencies might just be the least of her problems.
For more information on Becoming Alpha, visit the following URL: http://inkmonster.net/books/alpha-girl
About Ink Monster
Ink Monster LLC publishes new adult romance books in the genres of sci-fi, fantasy, urban fantasy, and paranormal romance. The Company follows a studio model with teams of authors developing story-worlds under the umbrella of Ink Monster intellectual property. Ink Monster’s first two books, Angelbound and Becoming Alpha, are now available for pre-order. For more information, visit www.InkMonster.net.
###Copyright © 2013 Ink Monster LLC. All Rights Reserved. All other brand names, product names, or trademarks belong to their respective holders.
Media Inquiries: PR@inkmonster.net
The post Press Release: Angelbound and Becoming Alpha Book Launch appeared first on Ink Monster.
December 13, 2013
Kicking Ass @Work: Single biggest RED FLAG of all time
So without further ado, here’s the single biggest red flag in the history of ever…
However, before I discuss the red flag in question, I’d like to explain one very important thing.
You know what I have no desire to do? Eat rocks. Nope, nada, zip. Neither does anyone else, outside of rogue episodes of My Strange Addiction. Plus, in the history of human society, we have no laws against eating rocks. No social taboos against ‘stone munchers’. And no ‘rock detectors’ to check if you have a belly full of gravel.
This is all going somewhere, BTW, hang with me.
As a result, I’ll never say to anyone: “Hey, just so you know…I’m NOT about to eat rocks.” Which, if you think about it, is what that phrase should really be used for: totally outrageous stuff that you’re REALLY never about to do. That said, here’s what “I’m not…” DOES get used for:
I’m not lying to you
I’m not trying to set you up
I’m not going behind your back
You get the idea. Of all the things that you REALLY aren’t doing, why are you listing something that, let’s face it, you’ve probably done in the past and could do so again, if you had to. Huh.
In my experience, the phrase “I’m not…” is a red flag for the fact that yes, that’s exactly what’s happening. The red flag gets smaller if someone says “I’m not…” as a direct reply to a question. As in:
Person A: “Are you lying to me?”
Liar: “No, I’m not lying.”
The red flag gets a wee bit smaller, but this interaction is still totes fishy. An innocent person would usually reply ‘no’ as an answer to that question. Why do I say that? Our minds don’t understand the concept ‘not’ right away. For example, suppose I say: “Don’t think about Godzilla terrorizing downtown Tokyo.” Ha! You just thought the big guy, right? So saying “I’m not lying” is pretty much a red flag for lying. This is in sharp contrast to a reply like: “I’m telling you the truth.”
The red flag gets SUPER HUGE if someone says “I’m not…” spontaneously, as in the example below:
Person A: “How was your weekend, Bob?”
Bob the Felon: “I didn’t steal anything from petty cash, in case you’re wondering.”
Well, I wasn’t wondering before, Bob. But now I am. A lot.
So there you have it: the greatest red flag in the history of ever, and it’s not even a flag at all. It’s two little words: “I’m not…”
And I’m not lying about that 
ALSO IN THIS SERIES:
How to tell who’s aligned with whom
3 Strikes and I Call Your Manager
Rule of the 3 Ps
Get anyone to back to fuck off
Work means never having to say ‘I’m sorry’
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Book Review: Temptress
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