Christina Bauer's Blog, page 89
November 19, 2013
5 Kickass Worldbuilding Articles from io9
And if you’re a writer too, then you’re also PLUM CRAZY. io9 has some of the best sci-fi and fantasy writing tips I’ve ever seen. Here are five of my favorites…
Number 5: What Elysium did wrong and right
I love the analysis here about the Elysium ‘super suit’ (not sure what else to call it.) It’s a great concept for worldbuilders to have technology trickle down to the masses, but in different forms.
Number 4: 7 Deadly Sins of Worldbuilding
I won’t spoil the article, but here’s one of my favorite worldbuilding deadly sins: Creating fictional versions of real-life human ethnic groups, that never go beyond one dimension. Deadly, am I right? It just gets better from there.
Number 3: Rules for Quick and Dirty Worldbuilding
These rules are spot-on, but I wouldn’t necessarily agree that you can ever make worldbuilding a quick and easy process. Still, how amazing is this advice: “Let’s say you’re whipping up a completely awful world like the one in Hellraiser or the post-apocalyptic Earth in the Terminator series. It’s great to show us a bunch of crushed skulls and people with pins in their faces, but nobody is going to stick around for a pure torture world unless they are Matthew Barney fans. There’s got to be something cool, fun, or intriguing about your universe.” Spot on, am I right?
Number 2: 12 Questions to Ask About the System of Magic in Your Fantasy Novel
Simply put, this article ROCKED MY WORLD. I want to have it tattooed on my upper arm, I use it so much.
Number 1: Secrets to Creating Unforgettable Supporting Characters
IMHO, rich supporting characters make or break a fantasy novel. This article has some great suggestions on how to create them.
Like these writing tips? Check out Aileen’s kickass series on STRUCTURE!
An Intro
Brainstorming
Beating it out
Fleshing it out
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November 15, 2013
Kicking Ass @Work: why work means never having to say ‘I’m sorry’
Unfortunately, if you’re in an office with lots of guys, it can be the equivalent of walking around wearing a clown suit. Not good for your future career.
I’ve worked for twenty years in technology, aka guy central. Here’s what I’ve learned about ‘I’m sorry.’ Guys (not all of them) get socialized to see ‘I’m sorry’ as a sign of weakness. It’s the last resort, worse than saying ‘uncle’ when someone’s twisted your arm until it snaps. And if you say you’re sorry when it isn’t really your fault? You’re super-weak and-or insane, end of story.
Classic example: I’m getting some morning java. I fill my mug and spin around, almost stepping into someone. This person gasps. I’ll smile, say ‘I’m sorry,’ and move on. In actuality, both of us probably weren’t paying too much attention, so we’re equally at fault. But, in my mind, I’m not assigning fault so much as telling the other person ‘you got scared and that sucks. I’m sorry that happened to you.’
Early on in my career, I used to say ‘I’m sorry’ all the time. It was my default response, and it wasn’t wrong (for all the cool reasons I listed above). But it was giving some folks a false impression that I was weak and-or insane. So here’s what I decided to do instead:
Say ‘oops.’
‘Oops’ doesn’t assign blame (in certain people’s minds, anyway) but it does acknowledge that something happened. It sounds simple, but it’s a bear to start as a habit. And if you decide to keep saying ‘sorry?’ Go you. Hopefully, it’s helpful to know the phrase has different meanings depending on the context.
ALSO IN THIS SERIES:
Rule of the 3 Ps
Get anyone to back to fuck off
The post Kicking Ass @Work: why work means never having to say ‘I’m sorry’ appeared first on Ink Monster.
Kicking ass @work: why work means never having to say ‘I’m sorry’
Unfortunately, if you’re in an office with lots of guys, it can be the equivalent of walking around wearing a clown suit. Not good for your future career.
I’ve worked for twenty years in technology, aka guy central. Here’s what I’ve learned about ‘I’m sorry.’ Guys (not all of them) get socialized to see ‘I’m sorry’ as a sign of weakness. It’s the last resort, worse than saying ‘uncle’ when someone’s twisted your arm until it snaps. And if you say you’re sorry when it isn’t really your fault? You’re super-weak and-or insane, end of story.
Classic example: I’m getting some morning java. I fill my mug and spin around, almost stepping into someone. This person gasps. I’ll smile, say ‘I’m sorry,’ and move on. In actuality, both of us probably weren’t paying too much attention, so we’re equally at fault. But, in my mind, I’m not assigning fault so much as telling the other person ‘you got scared and that sucks. I’m sorry that happened to you.’
Early on in my career, I used to say ‘I’m sorry’ all the time. It was my default response, and it wasn’t wrong (for all the cool reasons I listed above). But it was giving some folks a false impression that I was weak and-or insane. So here’s what I decided to do instead:
Say ‘oops.’
‘Oops’ doesn’t assign blame (in certain people’s minds, anyway) but it does acknowledge that something happened. It sounds simple, but it’s a bear to start as a habit. And if you decide to keep saying ‘sorry?’ Go you. Hopefully, it’s helpful to know the phrase has different meanings depending on the context.
UP NEXT WEEK: How to tell who’s gossiping with whom…and what they’re saying
The post Kicking ass @work: why work means never having to say ‘I’m sorry’ appeared first on Ink Monster.
November 14, 2013
Book Review: Cinder
The post Book Review: Cinder appeared first on Ink Monster.
November 9, 2013
ODE TO A SPATULA by Ruby the Dog
Oh, Spatula, how awesome you are
The woman-human dropped you on the floor and
Wow, you taste like hamburger…
Damn, I love you.
So I took you to my secret stash behind the couch
And proceeded to gnaw you to bits
But then, catastrophe!
The woman-human took you away, mumbling something about dogs and dropping crap on the floor.
Now I shall haunt her steps for at least twenty minutes
Looking sad in your honor
Oh my love, my own, my broken Spatula.
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November 8, 2013
Kicking Ass @Work: How to get anyone to back the fuck off
This week, the topic’s how to get anyone to back the fuck off. Fun, am I right? Let’s get started.
Suppose you’re in a meeting. Twelve or so bodies sit around a table, with lots of topics to discuss. Someone starts to lean in on the fact that you basically suck (in their opinion, anyway). You start to feel on the spot: bloos pressure rising, sweaty brow, the whole nine yards. What can you do? In my experience, you have three options.
Option #1. You’re mostly in the right and have the data to prove it.
Woo hoo! Go you! Now counter your opponent, point for point. FUN TIMES! To do this, you need to have detailed stats at the ready. Check out my rule of three P’s for more info on this one.
SCARY-BUT-TRUE AUTHOR NOTE: You can be mostly in the wrong and use this strategy, too. In hi-tech we call it: “torture the data enough and it will admit to anything.” In these cases, you’ll probably come off great as well. Although I firmly believe the universe will eventually slam you with bad karma some time down the road. Just saying.
Option #2: You may be wrong or right. Either way, you have no solid data to back up your POV.
In these situations, you have someone coming at you, complaining and putting you on the spot, either with a good reason or without. Whatever the situation, here are shitty ways to deal with it (IMHO):
Don’t do anything and let them go to town on you, thinking they’ll eventually run out of steam and shut up. Chances are, they won’t. Once bullies find a willing target, they keep coming back for more.
Try to talk your way out of it without having your argument prepared. I suppose this works for some folks who can think on their feet under the gun (like sociopaths!), but it’s rarely a good option for the rest of us. Our emotions bleed through and we end up looking like we’re on the spot and being defensive, even if we’re in the right.
Try to yell your way out of it. This looks good on television (‘You’re fired!’) but in reality, everyone hates people like these. Customers, managers, everybody. The few folks who yell and are successful do so in spite of their interpersonal limitations. Typically, someone like this has a big compelling reason (like hey, you’re on their TV show) to keep your working with them. Even then, it gets really old, really fast.
In my experience, there are more effective ways to deal with a corporate bully:
If you’re wrong, say so. Be sure to add that this is a serious issue and you’ll look into it. If whoever-it-is keeps pressing, tell them you value them and their time too much to try and have a conversation on this without the facts. You don’t want to say you’re wrong all the time (of course) but doing it once in awhile increases your validity and trust inside an organization. We all know a type who’s never wrong, and it’s annoying. Their team (if they have one) inevitably hates them.
You’re right, but don’t have the data. Use the same speech. Say it’s important and you need to look into it to discover the truth. Don’t admit to screwing up if you haven’t. Get your data together, then double and triple-check it. After the meeting, send the data out in an email (complete with back-up spreadsheets) to everyone applicable. Bask in your own awesomeness.
Option #3. Now we get to the good part.
Let’s say you’ve followed all the steps above and someone is still going for blood. Here’s my sure-fire, never fail way to get them to shut the fuck up: give them a something to do, what in hi-tech we call ‘an action item.’
Yeah, you read that right. It really is that simple.
Just make whoever-it-is do some actual work versus nit-pick at you, end of story. Sounds simple, it is, and it ALWAYS works. Some examples of what you can say:
That’s a great point, Mr. Jingleheimerschmidt. I’m putting together a cross-company team to address this issue. I think you just signed up! (Maybe you have such a team, maybe you don’t…but you do now!)
Isn’t the [insert thing they've been picking about here] also affected by [thing they do for their job here.] I want to pull some numbers on my side, do you think you can get some from yours, too?
Based on their reaction, you can see if they REALLY do care about the topic or are just being a political creep…and everyone else will see it, too. If they say ‘yeah, I’ll help!’ then it’s really something they care about and you’ve got an extra set of hands on the case. If it’s only political, they’ll back down so fast, it’ll make your head spin and VOILA! You won!
So, there you go. My super-secret sure-fire way to get a corporate bully off your back…or find a new ally you never knew you had.
NEXT TIME: Work means never having to say you’re sorry
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November 7, 2013
Book Review: Shadowlands Series
The post Book Review: Shadowlands Series appeared first on Ink Monster.
November 5, 2013
My Top 5 Movies For Shtick
We all have our favorite movies for good shtick. Here are five of mine, in no particular order:
Number 5. Airplane
Here is one of the greatest bits from Airplane, complete with full translation!
Number 4. Zoolander
Enjoy the best of this shtick fest.
Number 3. My Man Godfrey
Madcap screwball comedy with my secret boyfriend, William Powell. The scene below is arguably the first use of the shtick phrase ’Money, money, money’…
Number 2. His Girl Friday
This is a classic in the male-female shtick- canon. Ah, Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell…Masters at work.
Number 1. Love & Death
I know he’s done more cerebral work since, but damn, this is my favorite-est Woddy Allen movie ever. And it’s the genesis of some truly classic shtick, inlcuding the ever-popular ‘Hot cockles?’
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November 3, 2013
Reader Spotlight: Bridge D’Urso
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November 1, 2013
Kicking Ass @Work: The Rule of 3 P’s
But, you know, without being assholes.
I’ll explain. My day job is in hi-tech marketing (BTW: please buy more books so I can quit!). Early on in my career, I struggled with how to kick ass and take names without being a so-called bitch, ball-buster or dragon lady. Over time, I learned that wasn’t really a practical goal. There are times to earn respect instead of likability ratings, and that’s part of the game. In a future post, I’ll go through the ‘best practices’ on busting heads.
That said, I don’t have to go to that extreme very often. Why? Because I developed the rule of the Three P’s, which I shall share with you now:
be Polite – once you lose it, it’s about your way of communicating, not your point. Use anger for emphasis, but in your voice only. In other words, how you say, not what you say. Pro tip: Practice in the bathroom when no one is around. It helps to talk slowly and lower your voice an octave. Trust me, this shizz works.
be Persistent – Here, you need to pick your battles. I only have 1-3 things at any time that I’ll move Heaven and Hell for…The rest are ‘nice to haves.’ If you fight about every little thing, you’re a pain in the ass and, in short order, a big-ass target. Once you decide that something is critical, create a schedule of deadlines and deliverables. Assign people action items and color-code their names (for some reason, this is very motivating). If something isn’t getting done, contact the respective folks two times each week, leaving voicemail and email. I suggest Tuesdays and Thursdays. If it’s really important (I’m talking legal stuff here), keep a separate log of all communication in once place, like a Word doc.
be Prepared – This part totally sucks (for me, anyway), but it’s necessary. Here’s what to do:
Keep accurate logs and records about what was promised and when.
If you can, put it all in a binder (for some reason, binders are terrifying) and bring said binder to meetings.
Run regular reports.
Have those stats at the tip of your tongue and rattle them off like a boss.
Know your shit COLD.
Know the impact of what will happen if alternate points of view are raised and be able to quantify it with numbers wherever possible.
In other words, do your homework because, honestly, NO ONE ELSE DOES. You’ll win 99% of battles this way, mark my words. No, it’s not as fun or cathartic as a yelling match (for some people anyway) but it’s far more effective in the long run.
UP NEXT WEEK: How to shut anyone the fuck down in one sentence or less!
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