Christina Bauer's Blog, page 91

4 Reasons Why Star Wars Is THE Ultimate Female Myth

You read that right. Star Wars. Chicks. Myth. Yeah.
George Lucas has gotten lots of air play for consulting myth expert and general smarty-pants Joseph Campbell on the original Star Wars story, making sure old Joe officially blessed the space epic as following the so-called Hero’s Journey (Campbell wrote a famous book on the subject).

WTF IS THE HERO’S JOURNEY: It all starts with Carl Jung, who said that humans are born pre-wired for what it means to be a mother, father, hero, warrior, healer, villain…the list goes on and on. We even have pre-crafted stories about those ideas built into our noggins, which come up in our minds as dreams, or get triggered when we hear the right myth at the right time. This way, our brains can activate what we need to survive, be it our inner hero, warrior, mother, father…you get the idea. Campbell described the standard hero story that’s built into our heads.

CAVEAT: Not everyone believes this theory, just like not everyone (myself included) sees Campbell and Jung as across-the-boards examples of awesome behavior. But hey, we all fall short in some ways, and mistakes shouldn’t negate excellent work. So, having said that, I’ll now trash Joseph Campbell a wee bit. (The recent movie on Carl Jung does my job for me there.)

WHERE CAMPBELL MISSED THE BOAT: Campbell wasn’t exactly a feminist. Although he acknowledged that every psyche has both a male (animus) and female (anima) aspect, somehow that male and female stuff didn’t get applied to the concept of a hero archetype. Mmmmmm….not sure I’m buying that one, honey bunches. Methinks if there’s a hero’s journey, then there’s a heroine’s journey, too.

But this is a post about the heroine’s journey and Star Wars. Luke Skywalker is a DUDE, you dip!

Good point, mystery troll inside my head. In this system, female warrior energy can drive the life of a man as well as a woman. For example, the ancient fighting goddess Athena had both male and female worshippers, including the hero Odysseus (who’s arguably the ultimate example of female warrior energy in action.)

Now, back to Star Wars. With that long intro behind us, here are 4 reasons why Star Wars is not the hero’s journey, but the heroine’s journey:

Reason #1: The ultimate thing you can become in this universe is a jedi, and jedis get to wear dresses. 

Come on, how much more obvious can the symbolism be? But wait, there’s more. Jedis fight with their minds as well as their swords, which is the classic sign of female warrior energy. It’s true, they are running around carrying a huge electronic phallus, but I’m not necessarily convinced that’s an uncommon female experience.

Reason #2: Jedis get powerful by trusting their feelings.

And that’s typical guy territory? Ahhhh, nope. Classic masculine warrior energy is Zeus’s thunderbolt. You break the rules, you get a jolt of mega-electricity through your cranium, end of story. There’s no complex assessment of feelings with old Zeus-y. Which is fine, really. There are times for the thunderbolt, and times for a sword-and-smarts combo.

Reason #3: Luke’s journey from whiny farm boy to dress-loving jedi involves changing the universe.

Rescuing the world, killing the bad guy, search-and-destroy missions…these are all the work of the hero’s journey. Heroes don’t reconstruct the very fabric of society; they rescue stuff that’s under threat. On the other hand, in a heroine’s journey, like the classic tale of Isis, the story ends with the re-imagining society as a whole (or in the case of Isis, the society of the heavens.)

CASE IN POINT: At the end of Star Wars, the Emperor’s statues are a-falling down and the galaxy’s ready to be re-built. It won’t be the same Republic it was before the Empire, it won’t be the Empire all over again (whew), but it will be something new that affects every aspect of life. That’s heroine stuff.

FOR THE RECORD: Saving the world is also very, very cool. Go heroes!

Reason #4: The heroine’s journey ultimately benefits the character with positive female energy.

And in the original Star Wars, the one ultimately getting all the bennies is Luke.

Whoa, there. You can’t say Luke…The heroine’s journey is for girls!

Why yes, random inner troll, it absolutely is. But it also addresses far more than the estrogen-set. In fact, the heroine’s journey most benefits the good guys, what our Founding Fathers called the Gentlemen, as in Gentle and a Man at the same time.

Let me explain. For centuries, the Gentleman was society’s ideal of masculinity. I’m talking here about guys who are intelligent, considerate, well-spoken, and yet able to fight the good fight. There’s a balance in these men between masculine and feminine, and today, that’s too often put down as weakness. At least, as a woman, I can complain about facacta ideals for my femininity. The good guys don’t have that luxury. They live in this secret guy-world that benefits a small percentage of men—all of whom are far from the Gentlemanly ideal—while most of the good dudes suffer in silence, always wondering if they’re measuring up.

It isn’t fair, and it’s time it all changed. That, IMHO, is what Star Wars is all about. It’s why, despite the knock-offs and wannabes, no one has come close to its success. It’s a story for the good guy. The Gentleman.

It’s the heroine’s journey, and in the end, that’s really a journey for all of us.

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3 Sure-Fire Ways to Anger the Gods

In Greco-Roman myth, there’s a short list of easy-to-recall mistakes that ALWAYS landed you in hot water with the gods. And yet, mortals constantly made these obvious blunders.
Therefore, as a helpful safety tip to all mortals reading my blog, I’ll share these errors below:

Sure-Fire Way #1: Serve someone their relative as dinner. (And no, I am not kidding.)

There were no Holiday Inns back in ancient times, so everyone was expected to protect any reasonable-looking travelers who came to your door. Clearly, this rule was a tempting one to break, especially if you happened to hold a grudge against the visitor in question. Way back when, these situations often ended up with the angry host thinking ‘hey, I’ll serve my guest their relative as dinner!’

Tempting though this may be, the gods always found out about this particular-yet-odd way of expressing displeasure and it never turned out well for the chef in question. Just say no.

SIDE NOTE: This got me thinking, WTF kind of culture tells a story about being hospitable and uses ‘feeding relatives to one another’ as an example of being an in-hositable shitbag? Our modern fears are more like the movie Hostel or that other movie where the scientist made a human centipede (BTW, how are you smart enough to make a human centipede, and yet not clever enough to figure out a sustainable food-source set-up? Blech). In other words, our modern horrors about being dicked over while traveling are very focused on the personal. I’ll get trapped. I’ll get tortured. Me, me, me.

Back then, your worst nightmare was that revenge would be taken against your family and you’d be made responsible for their deaths…All without your knowledge. Here’s how that happened in the old greco-roman noggin: by eating their flesh, you became party to the crime. I know, eew. To the ancient mind, that was the ultimate in suck. Now who would you want to have as family?

Sure-Fire Way #2: Say you were better than the gods at anything.

Self explanatory. Beyond stupid. Done constantly. Easy to avoid, so let’s do that.

Sure-Fire Way #3: Not do what the gods asked.

This one’s best explained with an example. Here we have the classic tale of King Minos, who got himself a sacred bull FROM Poseidon to sacrifice TO Poseidon. Easy-peasy, right? WRONG. The King likes this new animal quite a lot, so he thinks to himself: ‘self, Poseidon will never notice if I don’t sacrifice this amazingly unique and sacred bull. I’ll keep it.’ Well, you can guess what happened next.

Poseidon noticed, and he got pissed. Way pissed.

In fact, he got so pissed that he struck Queen Minos (not her real name) with a compulsive attraction to the animal. She and the beast got it on, and the result was the Minotaur, a half-man, half-bull who now needed to be kept in a labyrinth to prevent him from causing trouble. The only definitive winner in this story? The bull, who was presumably never sacrificed and yet still had lots of fun in his spare time.

ANOTHER SIDE NOTE: This is a big theme in ancient story telling: how selfishness and greed in leadership inevitably leads to a grisly and public downfall. Today, we have the first part of the story down (selfishness and greed in leadership) but the tale doesn’t always end nastily for the selfish and greedy in question. And by nasty, I mean really FREAKING nasty. To see another example of this theme in action, check out the story of Osiris.

So that’s it, folks: No cannibalism, follow any specific instructions from the gods, and don’t say you’re better than Olympus at anything. You’re welcome.

NEXT WEEK: Hades Wasn’t An Asshole & Other Crazy Facts About Greco-Roman Myth

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The Best Freaking Set-Up for Writing.

I don’t want to write a lot of blah-blah-blah about how I’m a victim, but OMG I am a VICTIM!
Here’s why. My stupid MacBook Pro, the very one I wrote an ode to recently, completely died on me twice in two months. Like dead, wiped out, totes fucked, they had to completely replace the hard drive. Twice.

But—cue angelic music here—both times I was back up-and-running in minutes with little-to-no loss of data. How, you may ask? I have the best writing set-up, ever. Read on for 4 simple steps to get the same thing for your own bad self…

Step #1. Get You Some Scrivener

Sold from a company inexplicably called Literature & Latte, Scrivener software is the bomb. It’s about $40, and worth every penny because it’s MS Word on acid for writers. Yeah, you read that right. Acid. Writing. You. For example, I like to create chapters and move them around in the story, sort of verbal sculpture. This was an all-out NIGHTMARE in MS Word. Cutting. Pasting. Formatting. Bleugh.

With Scrivener, the chapters are drag-and-drop. You can also group them into folders called stuff like Acts 1, 2, 3 (another fav move of mine). Sweet! Once my computer died, I borrowed another Mac, downloaded Scrivener, and activated that bad boy. Mission accomplished.

PRO TIP #1: Unlike me, be sure to save your activation email somewhere you can find it.

Below you’ll see a hi-rez screen capture of my very own Scrivener for Angelbound: Scala. You’ll need to click on the image to get it in a useful size. Oh, and did I mention there’s a word count feature? Well, there is and it’s AWESOME. You can set it with a deadline and number of words, and then it auto-calculates how much you need to write each day. You even get a cute little status bar that goes from red to green as you hit your goal. This has been unbelievably motivating for me.

Scrivener sweet Scrivener – click to enlarge

Step #2: Get a Google email address, aka Gmail. 

If for some reason you don’t have a Gmail address (say because, like me, you worked for Microsoft), then get one. Now. It’s free.

Step #3: Get Google to auto-save your stuff.

Okay, here’s the SUPER COLOSSAL IMPORTANT PART. Set your sweet self up to work on Scrivener and store your docs online. No muss, no fuss, no worries if your Mac gets kicked down lots-o-stairs by your nine-year-old son (true story). Now, Google will try to get you to pay for this awesomeness. Don’t buy that shizz if you don’t want to! Go into your new Gmail account and get the no-cost stuff. Check out the screen capture below to find the free love. There’s a ‘Drive’ button that I’ve marked as ‘The Hotness.’ Click on that thang and set up your online folders for storage.

Next, click on the button I’ve labelled ‘THE BOMB.’ This is a little download that auto-connects your computer to your stored files on the web in your Google Drive. Wahoo! Google gives you like a kabillion megabytes for free.

WARNING PART 1: Be sure to download the app or Google Drive will make you work in your browser. Working in your browser is SUCKTASTIC, DO NOT DO IT. Get the little download and work in your apps like you always do. Only difference? When you click ‘save,’ it will save to the web.

WARNING PART 2: You may wonder, is saving my docs online totally secure? Uh, no. ANYTHING YOU DO ONLINE IS NEVER-EVER-EVER 100% SECURE. So it’s a trade-off: how likely are hackers to give a crap about your next book versus your nine-year-old son to destroy precious stuff? Your call.

PRO TIP #2: You need to totally close out of Scrivener to get the absolute latest save moved up to Google Drive. Otherwise, you’re one save back, which isn’t bad but isn’t everything. Trust me, I know!

The Gmail trick – click to enlarge

Step 4. Enjoy the Awesomeness!

You’ll love this set-up forever, end of story. In fact, the minute anyone says they want to be a writer, I think they should be forced to get Scrivener and back up their junk online. Nuff said.

In closing, feel free to share this secret with any and all writers because hey, if we don’t stick together, who will? In this spirit of teamwork, I’d like to thank the most awesome Aileen Erin for getting me on the Scrivener and Google T-I-P!!!!

Happy writing…

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Book Review: Extinguish by J.M. Darhower

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12 Pee-Your-Pants Funny Cat Memes

Every Monday, there’s a tradition among a group of us on Facebook to post funny cat memes to SME (a girl, not Captain Hook’s sidekick). It makes the worst day of the week go faster. Seriously.
As a service to humanity, I am hereby listing the top 12 funniest SME Cat Monday memes for your general enjoyment. Huzzah.

Number 12

The ultimate form of the ERMAHGERD meme.

Number 11

Have you loved anything as much as this cat loves ribbons?

Number 10

They do plot our demise. You know it.

Number 9

What’s ancient Egypt without them?

Number 8

Kick-ass Kitty.

Number 7 

Ultimate Grumpy Cat.

Number 6

Esoteric Dune reference cat. For my  fellow geeks.

Number 5

Holy kitty.

Number 4

This one sums up Mondays for me.

Number 3

Matrix cat. Badass.

Number 2

I’ve had this day.

Number 1

Because Grumpy Cat owns the interwebs.

Many thanks to everyone who contributed to this post without your knowledge

 

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6 Crazy-Cool Things About Ruby the Dog

We have a golden retriever named Ruby. She’s a food addict, fraidy-cat, and general nut-job. She steals only my left shoes and hides them. Her favorite kind of weather is a thunderstorm. She’s dug up half the lawn and crapped over all the rest. We adore her.
Here are 6 crazy-cool things about our wonderful bundle of insanity:

Crazy-Cool Thing #1: For a dog, Ruby’s a big pussy.

Our golden is afraid of everything. Garbage bags. Ants. Other dogs. The six-year-old girl next door, but only when she’s playing the piano. Statues of Jesus. She was also pretty scared when we first brought her home, but that was understandable (see uber-cute pic below).

Ruby the puppy, scared of her new home

Crazy-Cool Thing #2: She sleeps like she’s Super Dog. 

Come on, how awesome is that? Quite awesome, indeed. And a little freaky too, as we never DO see Ruby and Super Dog in the same place at the same time…

Ruby, dreaming of herself as Super Dog

Crazy-Cool Thing #3: She puts up with us.

In this picture, my husband is saying something to the effect of ‘Hey Ruby, look at the duck! Hey Ruby, look at the duck! Hey Ruby, look at the duck!’

You get the idea.

Ruby is amazingly patient and has an awesome deadpan stare, as evidenced by the image below.

Ruby and the annoying ‘duck’

Crazy-Cool Thing #4: She has a hoarding problem. 

All the popular kids have a dog with a complex mental issue. Ours has a hoarding problem (see pic below). She also has an attention-seeking problem (same pic). For the record: our dog gets more treats and love than a high-maintenance Queen Bee cutting the cake at her sweet sixteen, but she still manages to look like we barely let her out of the basement. Way to work it, Ruby!

Ruby the doggie hoarder

Crazy-Cool Thing #5: She’s very snuggly.

She’s also quite egalitarian in her cuddling. Everyone gets a turn, every day, whether they want one or not. She also judiciously rotates sleeping spots so my son Max gets as much nocturnal love as his parents. You can say it with me now: awwwww!

Ruby the snuggler

Crazy-Cool Thing #6: She’s super happy.

If she’s not freaking out about random stuff, this is pretty much our dog. Woot woot!

Ruby the happy dog

Yeah, she’s awesome. If you don’t have a golden already, get one, pronto. They are the only perfect creatures in the universe. And no, I am not biased

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Book Review: Archers of Avalon Series

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I have a thing for William Powell.

They don’t make heartthrobs like they used to. Hence, I have a major thing for 1930′s movie icon William Powell.
Here are four reasons why.

Reason One

He looks awesome while doing the dishes.

Reason Two

He has a deadpan stare that kills me.

Reason Three

He is freaking funny.

Reason Four.

In the Thin Man series, Powell as Nick and his screen wife Nora (Myrna Loy) are a team. And man, can they drink. Watch the whole series and you’ll have experienced a speakeasy without the hangover.

My favs of the William Powell canon: My Man Godfrey and the Thin Man series (based on the novels of Dashiell Hammett.)

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How the Asian story of Rama blew my mind

It’s tricky to write about someone else’s sacred text as a myth. As Joseph Campbell said, ‘myths are other people’s religion’ (my emphasis, not Joe’s). That said, I’d like to share three awesome things about the Ramayana, a Hindu epic myth that’s a sacred text to millions.
SUMMARY: the Ramayana (loosely translated as ‘Rama’s Journey’) is the story of King Rama’s odyssey to rescue his wife Sita after she’s abducted by Ravana. The book is really-really-really long and that’s a crazy-short synopsis, but there you go.

As a bit of a myth junkie (I’ve written before about Isis, Athena and Cinderella), this story blew my mind for three reasons:

1. How the tale begins

In the West, most fables end with ‘they were married and lived happily ever after.’ Not the case here. The Ramayana basically begins with ‘Rama and Sita were married, and so started their adventure.’ When I first read this, I was stunned. It never occurred to me that marriage would be the beginning of an epic myth. Western fables focus on courting and falling in love…so what are we missing out on here? I’m still working on the answer to that question, BTW.

Rama and Sita getting married

2. The super-cute romance between Rama and Sita

As a Westerner, I thought we cornered the market on love stories. In the Ramayana, there are charming passages with Rama and Sita hanging out in a garden, all googly for each other. Check out the picture below and then say it with me…awwwwwwwww!

Rama and Sita

3. A baddie who was…too good?

We already covered how Ravana abducted Sita. Now, depending on the version of the Ramayana you read, Ravana may have had a legit grudge against Rama and/or reason to grab Sita. That said, what struck me in reading the Ramayana is that Ravana’s real problem was the following: he was a good guy who went to extremes. He had the most lovely city, most learned scholars, and most devout prayers. To me, it seemed like he wanted the most beautiful Sita to complete his ‘perfection set.’ And come on, we all know someone like this, right?

Westerners often celebrate extremists as non-conformists and true individuals. But extremists are also the group who–whatever other labels you put on them–are the most likely to cause some seriously huge trouble. Personally, I think that’s why Ravana has so many heads; even in that, he’s extreme:

Ravana

All in all, I found the Ramayana to be strangely familiar (in terms of romance) as well as surprisingly different (in where the tale begins and what the story defines as evil.) How would our Western lives be different if our myths followed the Ramayana’s example, even a little bit? I originally read this book in my twenties, and in writing this post today, it struck me how clearly I remembered these key differences so many years later. I guess that’s part of why I became a storyteller. A good story blows your mind and changes your world.

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Book Review: FAERIES: DELUXE COLLECTOR’S EDITION

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