Christina Bauer's Blog
June 27, 2024
A Personal Update
Dear Readers,
Many of you know my son Max, who has intellectual disability, autism, and my full heart. I’m taking a break from social media and self-publishing to focus on Max’s transition to adult residential living and all the changes that come with it.
Thank you for all your messages of support.
Christina
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June 12, 2024
Cancellations
Dear Readers,
Please know that I’m taking a break from book launches and social media due to personal emergency. All 2024 launches are cancelled.
I’m fine and will check back in soon.
Christina
The post Cancellations appeared first on MHB.
June 4, 2024
Sample Chapter – Angry Gods
Angry Gods is here on June 25th!
Woot.
Preorders are live today aaaaaand check out the sample chapter below…
Chapter One
Myla
In my dream, I rest on a pancake-flat cloud high in the atmosphere. Chilly vapor caresses my back. Buttercup-yellow sunshine warms my face. No one’s around, unless you count the occasional demonic pigeon (two heads, glowing red eyes, eight legs, that kind of thing). A medley of showtunes fills the air, mostly Hello Dolly.
Hellooooo, Dolly! Well Helloooooo, Dolly…
As dreams go, this one’s all lighthearted fun. And me being me, I repeat a single wish, over and over.
Wake up already.
At this moment, I’d happily jam my thumb in a light socket, so long as I left this Siesta del Boring. Sadly, my cloud isn’t wired for electricity. Clearly, a different approach is needed.
I spead out my arms and legs. Starfish pose, the only way to scheme. A new plan appears.
I’ll summon my supernatural buddies. Igni.
Because did I mention that I’m a demigoddess? I am.
As the Great Scala, I move souls to Heaven and Hell. Wrangling igni, aka my herd of tiny supernatural lightning bolts, is how I get the job done. My igni are bright, numerous and annoyingly loud. In other words, the perfect choice here.
Unfortunately, my wee electrical friends are mega unreliable. Summoning them is a hit or miss when I’m awake, let alone asleep.
In my dream, the ambient tune segues from Hello, Dolly into This Was a Real Nice Clambake from Carousel, only it now includes the kind of scree-scree-scree violin accents common to horror movies everywhere. The lyrics blare into my skull:
This was a real nice clambake
We’re mighty glad we came
The vittles we et
Were good, you bet
New questions appear above my head—all of them written in thin, loopy clouds.
What drilled this broadway tune into my mind?
Why am I being tortured with it now?
How fast can I get my igni here?
Keeping in starfish pose, I yell out at top volume. “Need help, guys!”
Aaaaaaand my igni actually appear on the first try. Whoa.
Hundreds of tiny lightning bolts materialize above my face before dancing into various basic shapes. Circle. Square. Star. It’s like I’m under a psychedelic baby mobile.
These are the light igni, meaning they send souls to Heaven and do things like whirl about in circles. Next, they break out into their favorite activity, singing in childish voices. It’s hard to hear over the Clambake tune, but I do catch a few words.
Wake up. Danger.
I’m so shocked, I leave starfish pose behind and sit upright. Only in classic dream style, this move doesn’t go as planned. Sure, my ghostly self sits up, no problem. However, Physical Me remains reclining and very much asleep.
Ghost Me can’t help but notice how my physical counterpart looks the same as always—curvy body, white shift dress and dragonscale tail. There’s one exception. My skin gleams a rather unhealthy shade of blue. On the plus side, my long red hair looks fabulous against a cloud, so there’s that.
All of which leads back to the same question: How do I wake myself up? A different idea appears. Ghost Me leans over to whisper in Physical Me’s ear.
“Cookies,” I murmur. “Fresh baked. Open your eyes and they’re all yours.”
Total lie. I’ve no idea when I fell asleep, let alone where. Therefore, the presence of baked goods is a fabrication. But honesty comes in second place to batte fun.
Whereupon my igni decide to get weird. They add new lyrics. Again, these are barely audible, yet still clear.
Never become the night angel!
Sure, those words aren’t exactly packed with info. Who’s a night angel? I got nothing. Still, my igni rarely sing more than a word or two. Never become the night angel is a lyric of massive, nay Wagnerian, proportions.
Excitement streams through me. The igni’s aforementioned danger must involve me and some kind of night angel power, whatever that is.
A dark shape appears in the clouds: a black-winged warrior in a hoodie and robe. Hey there, night angel. A vague recollection surfaces. A night angel is something good, or at a mimum, not something on my ‘to kill’ list. Must be why I don’t regestier much about them.
Turning away from the night angel, I refocus on the good stuff: danger.
Battle energy coils through both my soul and dream. Beneath me, the cloud heaves in roller-coaster style. Overhead, the blue sky and white clouds transform into a mishmash of colors.
Yet Physical Me remains annoyingly asleep.
Time to call out the big guns.
Ghost Me leans in to whisper in Phsycial Me’s ear once more. Only this time, what comes out is less murmur and more scream. “I’m eating all your demon bars!”
Why make that particular threat, you ask? Cookies are one thing. Demon bars hold a special place of honor on my personal heirarchy of snack foods.
That would be the top.
Finally, Physical Me opens her eyes wide. Both of us smile our faces off. My body sits up. In doing so my physical self become reunited with my ghost. I’m one person again, bonus.
My dream world darkens. All igni vanish. Real sensations creep in around me. Humid air presses against my skin. One side of my body smushes against what’s possibly a brick wall. Tinny merry-go-round music blots out the last of the clambake song.
It’s the merry-go-round music that really stumps me. Clearly, I’m not at home. Yet, where am I, exactly? The moment the question hits me, I toss it aside. After all, who cares where I’m snoozing?
I’m about to wake up and kick ass.
Talk about a dream come true.
–End of Sample–
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May 15, 2024
Coming Soon – Mister Yellow!
Dear Readers,
I’m thrilled to announce that I’ve signed my first wee publishing contract! It’s for short story called Mister Yellow which will be published in Fantasy & Science Fiction Magazine, the nation’s powerhouse for groundbreaking fiction since 1949. Over the decades, F&SF has featured stories by renowned authors such as Isaac Asimov, Ray Bradbury and Stephen King!
Mister Yellow is set in the world of my Dimension Drift series and follows the adventures of a lady researcher and the aforementioned man in a mustard-colored suit. I really can’t say more without giving the cool stuff away, but you won’t have to wait long for the story to be available! F&SF is published quarterly and Mister Yellow should be featured in the summer or fall issue! You can subscribe here.
Check this space for details–I’ll send out another announcement when the story is live!
CB
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Random Stuff I Love
It’s May, time for new things like tulips…
Puppies…
And random obsessions, yay!
Here are three of mine.
Obsession Number One: Phabeni the Elephant
There’s a real-life elephant soap opera that I’m obsessively following right now & must share: There’s an elephant orphanage in South Africa where the Matriarch Setombe (elephants are always led by the oldest ladies) has been depressed and not doing her job so the next level lady elephants have been fighting it out. Nooo! But then, in comes a new bull elephant baby Phabeni and he decides Setombe is his mom, as kids do. Now Setombe is all about being Matriarch and everyone is happy but… Phabeni got sick! Nooooooo! Baby elephants are very particular about their milk formula and the only kind Phabeni eats is no longer manufactured. The company has promised to make a special batch for Phabeni but will it arrive in time? Find out at the YouTube Channel.
Obsession Number Two: The CDK Company
I love the work coming out of this dance group! Check out my fave video here. The CDK Company is an international company located in the Netherlands whose main focus is to provide high quality training within a collective.
Obsession Number Three: In Deep Geek
I heart this YouTube channel dedicated to all things geekery. The content related to Lord of the Rings is especially awesome. Plus, the host has a great English accent, so you can feel super smart while you listen.
So there you have it–my latest three obsessions. Now back to my latest manuscript!
The post Random Stuff I Love appeared first on MHB.
April 18, 2024
Angelbound Box Set #3 Here 4.22
The third Angelbound box set will be here April 22nd! Here’s info on all three box sets in my Angelbound Origins Omnibus Series:
Angelbound Origins Box Set : Books One Through Three
Angelbound Origins Omnibus Series Book 1
Click here to order
Angels! Demons! Love! Snark! The first three books of the best-selling series are now in one ebook collection…
ANGELBOUND (Book 1)
Myla Lewis is a girl who loves two things: kicking ass and kicking ass. She’s not your every day quasi-demon, part-demon and part-human, girl. Myla lives for the days she gets to fight in Purgatory’s Arena. That is, until she meets Prince Lincoln, a super-sexy half-human and half-angel demon hunter. But what’s a quasi-demon girl to do when she falls for a royal demon killer? With a love with fighting for, Myla’s about to shake up the after-realms.
SCALA (Book 2)
Myla Lewis has a whole lot of trouble. A magical object called Lucifer’s Orb is threatening millions of souls, and it’s Myla’s job to make it go away. Plus, an old enemy is plotting to separate Myla from her Angelbound love, Prince Lincoln. But Myla and Lincoln are fighting back. Can they stop the Orb, save Purgatory’s souls, and stay together… Or will both the after-realms and their relationship be destroyed?
ACCA (Book 3)
In just one week, supernatural warrior Myla Lewis must discover enough evidence to send the evil House of Acca to prison … or she’ll end up in jail herself, along with her fiancé. Time to kick some ass.
Angelbound Origins Box Set Volume Two: Books Four Through Seven
Angelbound Origins Omnibus Series Book 2
Click here to order
Romance! Action! Supernatural sass! Books four through seven of the best-selling Angelbound Origins series are now in one ebook collection…
THRAX (Book 4)
In just one week, supernatural warrior Myla Lewis must discover enough evidence to send the evil House of Acca to prison… or she’ll end up in jail herself, along with her fiancé, Prince Lincoln. No pressure.
DARK LANDS (Book 5)
Myla and Lincoln have only twenty four hours to rescue their dear friend, Walker, all while stopping Lucifer–yes, THAT Lucifer–from taking over the after-realms. Even for them, this may be a too-tall order, especially when Lucifer’s mysterious past with Myla’s father threatens the very future of their world.
BRUTAL TIME (Book 6)
Millions of angels are dying. According to a prophecy, the only way Myla can heal them is by traveling back in time, meeting King Arthur, and creating her own knights of the round table. The catch? Doing so might end the after-realms in a bloody demonpocalypse…
ARMAGEDDON (Book 7)
The King of Hell, Armageddon, abducts Myla and Lincoln’s son, Maxon. Our fave couple fights back by breaking into the fiery down-under in order to save their child. Don’t miss the ultimate showdown of the after-realms!
Angelbound Origins Box Set Volume Three: Books Eight Through Eleven
Angelbound Origins Omnibus Series Book 3
Click here to order
Great ready for Lady Reaper, Cissy’s wedding and supernatural pyramids! Books eight through eleven of the best-selling Angelbound Origins series are now in one ebook collection…
QUASI REDUX (BOOK 8)
It’s a Wonderful Life meets Kill Bill when our heroine, Myla Lewis, casually tosses off the fateful words, “Some days, I wish I weren’t a demigoddess.” Turns out, a demon-titan named Bedlam lurks nearby… and he grants her wish.
CLOCKWORK IGNI (BOOK 9)
After Purgatory is ripped apart by supernatural pyramids, Myla, Lincoln and Maxon decide to kick some pharaonic ass.
LADY REAPER (BOOK 10)
Young Myla and Lincoln uncover secrets–and battle some serious evil–when they encounter Lady Reaper and her ghoulish husband, Grim.
REAPER GAMES (BOOK 11)
At last, wedding bells are ringing for Myla’s best friend, Cissy! Too bad an old enemy seeks to use the big day for dark purposes. Time for Myla to swap out her dancing shoes for even-more-stylish battle boots.
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April 5, 2024
FREEBIE ALERT: Angelbound Origins Box Set
It’s now #27 across all of Amazon and rising! Help me share the savings with people who need some quasi-demonic sass in their lives. The Angelbound Offspring Box set is FREE for a limited time at the following retailers:
Apple: https://books.apple.com/us/book/angelbound-origins-volume-one/id1473636128
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/angelbound-origins-box-set-2
Googleplay: https://play.google.com/store/books/details/Christina_Bauer_Angelbound_Origins_Box_Set?id=YdGjDwAAQBAJ
About the Box Set
Angels! Demons! Love! Snark! The first three books of the best-selling series are now in one ebook collection…
ANGELBOUND (Book 1)
Myla Lewis is a girl who loves two things: kicking ass and kicking ass. She’s not your every day quasi-demon, part-demon and part-human, girl. Myla lives for the days she gets to fight in Purgatory’s Arena. That is, until she meets Prince Lincoln, a super-sexy half-human and half-angel demon hunter. But what’s a quasi-demon girl to do when she falls for a royal demon killer? With a love with fighting for, Myla’s about to shake up the after-realms.
SCALA (Book 2)
Myla Lewis has a whole lot of trouble. A magical object called Lucifer’s Orb is threatening millions of souls, and it’s Myla’s job to make it go away. Plus, an old enemy is plotting to separate Myla from her Angelbound love, Prince Lincoln. But Myla and Lincoln are fighting back. Can they stop the Orb, save Purgatory’s souls, and stay together… Or will both the after-realms and their relationship be destroyed?
ACCA (Book 3)
In just one week, supernatural warrior Myla Lewis must discover enough evidence to send the evil House of Acca to prison … or she’ll end up in jail herself, along with her fiancé. Time to kick some ass.
The post FREEBIE ALERT: Angelbound Origins Box Set appeared first on MHB.
March 18, 2024
Happy Book Birthday, Angelbound Tales!
It’s finally here! I’m thrilled to announce that Angelbound Tales Volume One is now live on retailers!
To celebrate, I’m launching this book with a different works of art that I’ve ‘fixed’ by adding in Myla. You’re welcome, world!
The first piece to get my quasi treatment is Botticelli’s Birth of Venus. Scroll down to see a high resolution version of the image.
I hope you enjoy Angelbound Tales Volume One… and Myla’s new gallery of art!
Don’t miss Angelbound Tales Volume One, a collection of five bonus stories from Myla’s world, including:
Walker’s Love Connection, where Myla uncovers a secret about her honorary older brother.Sharkie and Snickerdoodles, in which our heroine faces down an uber-evil ghoul in order to get her hands on (what else?) some damned fine cookies.Wedding Bells, aka the story of a certain happy couple getting married. Havoc ensues in more ways than one!Herbie and Baby Hotdogs, the tale of a quasi-demon whose ‘mortal sin power’ is gluttony. Consider yourself warned.Saving Mrs. Pomplemousse, a mini-romance that explores the true meaning of ‘soul mates.’ Say it with me now: awwww!Order ebook or audio: https://books2read.com/angel-tales1
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March 17, 2024
Big Announcement Coming – With Book Launch Updates
Dear Readers,
I have big news. Huge. It’s KILLING me not to tell you. But I can’t say a word… yet.
Here’s what I CAN share: in order for this upcoming something-something to work, I need to rearrange my book launch schedule a bit. Here’s the latest…
ANGELBOUND TALES – MARCH 19
ANGRY GODS – JUNE 24
VIOLETS & VAMPIRES – NOV 24
XAVIER BOOK 2 – 2025
ON HOLD – EVIL QUEENS & GOBLIN KINGS
Thanks for your patience and support as new opportunities bring both chance and change to yours truly. Stay tuned for more details soon!
CB
The post Big Announcement Coming – With Book Launch Updates appeared first on MHB.
March 16, 2024
Book Launch Art Gallery
To celebrate, I’ve created a gallery with famous works of art, only these classic pics now include everyone’s favorite quasi demon, Myla Lewis!
Why did I spend time doing this (beyond the obvious “stalling on my current manuscript” response)? Myla has opinions, people! And my virtual bestie declared that she should’ve been included in this stuff from the get-go.
Therefore, without further ado, here are some famous artworks from history… only better with Myla!
Sure, she’s the famous Girl with a Pearl Earring by Vermeer, but what was she doing beyond trying out new jewelry? Reading Angelbound Tales, of course!
Who else needs extra reading material? Napoleon! This is an enhanced section of Jacques-Louis David’s famous creation entitled Napoleon Bonaparte, First Consul.
French emperors aren’t the only dudes in need of some fun. In this version of Michelangelo’s Statue of David, our hero now has cool reading material and related accessories. Why worry about Goliath when there’s a riveting new audiobook to enjoy?
The mystery is over! We finally know what’s behind the enigmatic smile on the face of Leonardo da Vinci’s Mona Lisa — she’s loving some short stories about Myla!
In Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam, it’s always been assumed that God was reaching out to bestow humanity’s first soul. But could the Almighty actually have been looking to borrow an audiobook instead? The world may never know.
Next up: Leonardo da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man. Who wants to see some old guy’s junk when you can look at Myla? No one, I tell you.
Last but not least: Botticelli’s Birth of Venus may have originally been the origin image for a Greco-Roman goddess, but Myla done fixed it.
You’re welcome.
PS. Did I mention that Angelbound Tales is here March 19th? It is.
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