Christina Bauer's Blog, page 85
March 26, 2014
Thoughts on… Why Tolkien Is The Bomb
In honor of Tolkien’s long-unavailable translation of Beowulf coming to print, I thought I’d list out what I like about the guy.
1. He’s smart, and smart is cool
Tolkien taught at Oxford University as their Rawlinson and Bosworth Professor of Anglo-Saxon, with a fellowship at Pembroke College. I’m not really sure what it means, but it sounds like pretty intellectual stuff. Below is a picture of the Oxford Tolkien. No smarty-pants is complete without a pipe:
2. He had some bad shizz happen to him and rose above it to become a prolific writer and general smarty-pants (see #1)
This is Tolkien, aged 24, in military uniform, while serving in the British Army during World War I, 1916. Look at this face. You can just see the ‘OMFG this sucks’ in his eyes:
IMHO, Tolkien’s war-time experiences led to what I call his ‘little hands do the greatest work’ theme in his books.
3. He wrote kick-ass chicks
Galadriel and Eowyn are the two classics. He didn’t write many kick-ass chicks, but compared to the lit of the time, wrote a TON. I think this stemmed from his deep love for his wife, Edith Tolkien. She was the inspiration for his fictional characters Lúthien Tinúviel and Arwen Evenstar. To illustrate my point, here is a picture of a cool elf chick by Alan Lee, who did the original illustrations for the Hobbit and LOTR looks, and is just awesome in general:
Like how I pontificate about art, culture and other random stuff? Check out these posts:
Which Lord of the Rings is Best?
Thoughts on Lawrence of Arabia
An open letter to the French guy I met in Geneva, Switzerland
I have a thing for William Powell
An Open Letter to My Brain
The Greatest Illustrator of Kick-Ass Chicks, Alan Lee
The post Thoughts on… Why Tolkien Is The Bomb appeared first on Ink Monster.
3 Reasons Why Tolkien Is The Bomb
In honor of Tolkien’s long-unavailable translation of Beowulf coming to print, I thought I’d list out what I like about the guy.
1. He’s smart, and smart is cool
Tolkien taught at Oxford University as their Rawlinson and Bosworth Professor of Anglo-Saxon, with a fellowship at Pembroke College. I’m not really sure what it means, but it sounds like pretty intellectual stuff. Below is a picture of the Oxford Tolkien. No smarty-pants is complete without a pipe:
2. He had some bad shizz happen to him and rose above it to become a prolific writer and general smarty-pants (see #1)
This is Tolkien, aged 24, in military uniform, while serving in the British Army during World War I, 1916. Look at this face. You can just see the ‘OMFG this sucks’ in his eyes:
IMHO, Tolkien’s war-time experiences led to what I call his ‘little hands do the greatest work’ theme in his books.
3. He wrote kick-ass chicks
Galadriel and Eowyn are the two classics. He didn’t write many kick-ass chicks, but compared to the lit of the time, wrote a TON. I think this stemmed from his deep love for his wife, Edith Tolkien. She was the inspiration for his fictional characters Lúthien Tinúviel and Arwen Evenstar. To illustrate my point, here is a picture of a cool elf chick by Alan Lee, who did the original illustrations for the Hobbit and LOTR looks, and is just awesome in general:
Like how I pontificate about art, culture and other random stuff? Check out these posts:
Which Lord of the Rings is Best?
Thoughts on Lawrence of Arabia
An open letter to the French guy I met in Geneva, Switzerland
I have a thing for William Powell
An Open Letter to My Brain
The post 3 Reasons Why Tolkien Is The Bomb appeared first on Ink Monster.
March 19, 2014
Downton’s Edith: Sublime with Googly Eyes
If you’re a fan of Downton Abbey, then you know all about Lady Edith: the wallflower who’s so plain and blah, she’s always outshone by, well, everyone. Now fate has decided to right this wrong. On the Edith with Googly Eyes Tumblr, our heroine gets the attention she so richly deserves, even though it takes some whacked-out eyeballs to achieve.
As a service to humanity, I am now listing my favorite pics of Edith with her lovely goggly eyes. View and enjoy!
The post Downton’s Edith: Sublime with Googly Eyes appeared first on Ink Monster.
March 12, 2014
On Writing: Everything I Know About Being A Writer, I Learned from Liz Lemon
Self-explanatory blog post. Let’s get to the funny YouTube clips.
1. Writers like food
2. Ergo, writers often have food stains on their shirt.
3. Writers like Star Wars. Or at least, the best ones do. Go geeks!
4. Writers like to dance. In their PJs. Especially when we nail a deadline.
5. Writers often make up our own words, or word-like sounds, especially when stressed.
6. And finally, writers can be a teensy bit dramatic. Sometimes.
Also in the On Writing series:
My ultimate enemy
Why it’s OK to suck
Kickass worldbuilding articles
Writing action scenes
Writing softer scenes
Best freaking writing set-up
The post On Writing: Everything I Know About Being A Writer, I Learned from Liz Lemon appeared first on Ink Monster.
March 5, 2014
On Writing: Everything I Know About Worldbuilding, I Learned from Tolkien
I’ve loved building worlds since I can remember. I outlined my first when I was six, a little universe based on Candyland where the bad guy lived in a chocolate castle. However, I really got into it after reading Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien as a teenager. Here are my big takeaways from LOTR that I use to this day:
1. Characters. For every character, build out their history through their grandparents, minimum. Yes, all four. Who were they? What races did they come from? What lands? Tolkien did this and gave them all similar-sounding names, just to make it easy to track (or confusing as Hell, based on your POV.) Aragon son of Arathorn, Gimli son of Gloin, the list goes on and on.
2. Magical Races. For every magical race of beings, they get a home land and history that goes back at least 500 years, preferably 2000. Why did they settle where they are? What are they afraid of? Who do they trust? For example, Tolkien built up a lovely hatred between elves and dwarfs before you read page one.
3. History. If you write fantasy, it’s a good idea to start obsessing about the Middle Ages. It will save you an ass-ton of time. Case in point: the Rohirrim were inspired by Tolkien asking the question ‘what would’ve happened if the Anglo-Saxons had horses, so they didn’t get their asses kicked by William the Conqueror?’ Good question, really.
4. Language. You don’t have to invent whole languages for your magical races, but they should have their own names for things, ways of swearing and exclamations of joy. Bonus points if you can think of pet names in their language/history that don’t sound cloying.
5. Outlining, outlining, outlining. LOTR was originally written as a single book. Before publication, it was broken up into three parts. Reading it for the first time, I loved the feeling of a greater story through the first two books. In my own writing, I try to go at least two books forward in my planning before I finish the outline for my current novel. Even if I don’t go further than the book I’m writing, I think readers can sense the texture of the story both ahead and behind them, and it helps to make a more immersive world experience. Thanks, JRR!
And now for the oops…
Hey, no one has any business being perfect. Here are some stuff Tolkien missed, IMHO:
1. Sex, it happens! Part of worldbuilding is developing who’s got the hots for who and why. Arguably, Tolkien wrote in the style of epic poems such as Beowulf, which didn’t have lots of lusty bits. That said, the LOTR trilogy was really-really-really long, and that excuse only gets you so far. He did a nice job of a lovey-dovey story with Beren and Luthien, however. Bummer that was in the appendix.
2. Women make up 50% of the population. No one wrote kick-ass women like Tolkien. Sadly, he stopped at Galadriel and Eowyn.
Final Thoughts
In summary, worldbuilding is a meticulous pain-in-the-ass that takes up a ton of time before you write book one. However, if you build big and early, it makes writing books two and on much easier-slash-possible. And like watch repair, baseball statistics, stamp collecting and any other obsessive pursuit, you either think ‘wow, I can’t wait to dive into this’ or ‘wow, some people need meds for their OCD.’ The end.
Also in the On Writing series:
My ultimate enemy
Why it’s OK to suck
Kickass worldbuilding articles
Writing action scenes
Writing softer scenes
Best freaking writing set-up
The post On Writing: Everything I Know About Worldbuilding, I Learned from Tolkien appeared first on Ink Monster.
February 21, 2014
My Favorite Romantic Hero: The Gamma Guy
This article is reprinted from my blog post on The Nocturnal Library, your source for awesome reviews and other cool stuff.
Today, I’d like to share a bit about my favorite kind of romantic hero: the Gamma Guy. Prince Lincoln, the love interest in my YA fantasy-romance Angelbound, is one such dude.
Now wait, you might say. I’ve heard of an Alpha Male. A Beta Male. What’s this Gamma Guy stuff? Sounds like something you totally made up.
And in reply, I’d say: Nice catch, you! I did totally make this up.
Why would I do such a thing? I found it super-useful for me in my writing (more on that later). But before we tackle the Gamma Guy topic head-on, I thought it might help to level-set on some definitions of what it means to be an Alpha and Beta male in a romantic novel.
For the purposes of this article, an Alpha Male has:
A wardrobe of leather. Black. And lots of it. Maybe some creative piercings, too. Definitely a few tattoos.
A crappy childhood or ex-girlfriend. Deep down our hero is a nice guy, but most days, he’s a colossal dickhead.
Not so much a smart IQ as a smart-ass mouth, which we readers love-hate with abandon.
A hair-trigger for fighting, especially when it has to do with defending his lady-love.
A blue collar job, or no job at all. Like running a biker gang or sketchy handyman business. How exactly does that translate into a paycheck? Who knows? Who cares? Somehow our guy always has all the kick-ass chicks, leather, and beer that he wants. Life is good.
On the other hand, Beta Males are known for being:
Handy. A tire goes flat, the fridge goes on the fritz, or the carburetor stops carburating. Betas know what to do and do it without whining. And probably with their shirt off. Bonus.
Smart. In particular, smart enough to know how to spell the words ‘female’ and ‘orgasm.’ Their alpha male counterparts aren’t always that clever.
A white-collar job. Maybe something that helps kids or the terminally ill? Oh yeah, and they always look mega-sexy while doing it. Beta male territory.
Polite and neat. Sock drawer? Organized. Thank-you notes? Sent. Evil step-mother? Still gets a card on her birthday, even though she’s Satan incarnate. All because it’s the right thing to do…and that’s spicy hawt, too.
And Now, That Thing I Made Up: The Gamma Guy
For me, the very terms ‘Alpha’ and ‘Beta’ are based on hierarchy. In other words, the idea that in any relationship, there’s always a dominant person. And if that’s your thing, good on you. But not all relationships follow that model, and in writing Angelbound, I really wanted to explore more of a partnership dynamic. [SPOILER ALERT] In the story, Prince Lincoln and our heroine Myla end up as a team, fighting and otherwise. In early drafts, I tried to think of Lincoln as an Alpha or Beta male. It really didn’t work. As in, suck-a-roonie.
Long story short, I found that the terms Alpha and Beta held connotations that someone should dominate. Sure, they’re just words, but I’m a writer. Words count. So, I started thinking of Lincoln as a Gamma guy, and it helped me form his personality and partnership with Myla. To me, Gamma guys have:
Some Alpha male traits. Gamma guys are strong-willed and natural leaders, but without being a dick about it. You know, in general. We all have our moments.
Some Beta male stuff in there, too. Gamma guys are nurturing and definitely able to cry. They tend to be handy in surprising areas as well, like in the kitchen or with nun-chucks. Their sock drawers tend to be a mess, however, unless they have servants.
True partnerships. And by partnership, I mean sharing the load on every-freaking-thing. For example, if a Gamma guy and his lady-love get into a battle, one of them doesn’t fight the baddie while the other cowers in a corner. The non-warrior will still bring their a-game by cheering on their partner, calling the cops, or—at the very least—throwing a shoe. You get the idea.
A stalker-free zone. Sure, there are situations where a Gamma Guy will follow his lady around. But in general, if you’re in a partnership, you don’t feel the need to track the other person because you’re together all the time anyway. Stalking from across the couch? Not really happening.
On a final note, I want to be clear that I love me a good Alpha and Beta male story. But we all develop our preferences over time, and what I’ve come to define as the Gamma Guy is my personal fave. And I’ve been thrilled with how many Angelbound readers have felt the same way, too. Please know that your positive messages and reviews have given me the kind of virtual partnership that makes writing so worthwhile. Thank you.
And on that note, I’ll get back to writing more Gamma Guy stories. Fun!
The post My Favorite Romantic Hero: The Gamma Guy appeared first on Ink Monster.
February 7, 2014
Demonpedia: Ghouls
Demonpedia is a regular series where I geek out on one particular demon in the Angelbound world. This week, I’m doing Ghouls. Please note that I don’t own these images or claim any copyright for them. This is cool stuff I found on Google or Pinterest that inspired me.
Ghouls
Ghouls are similar to Furor dragons in that they’re not quite demons, but they aren’t quite NOT-demons, either. They’re a naturally-occuring phenomenon where, when a human dies, their soul starts to get pulled to Hell without the prerequisite journey through Purgatory. This doesn’t necessarily mean the person in question was evil, it’s just one of those odd things that happens every once in a while. After some very painful push-and-pull between realms, the humans in question don’t actually go to Hell, but they do become Ghouls.
Ghouls can also be made when a male ghoul hooks up with a human woman (some of them can be very charming!) as shown below:
The offspring will ‘turn ghoul’ once they die, but otherwise have a normal human life.
SPOILER ALERT: In Angelbound, the ghoul Walker was the descendant of his grandfather Eli (also a ghoul) and the Archangel Aquila. So, it happens more than you would think.
Ghouls are known for their colorless skin and tall stature. It doesn’t really matter if you were tall in life, you get there when you die and join ghoul-dom. See example below.
So maybe no one would hook up with that particular ghoul, but you get the idea on height, anyway. Ghouls also have all-black eyes, which can flash demon red when they are really angry.
In terms of powers, ghouls can create portals between realms, a hold-over ability from being stuck between Earth and Hell upon death. Portals are black, door-shaped holes that connect two places. The portals are paper thin from the outside, but feel like limitless space once you’re on the inside. If you’re traveling with a ghoul, you have to hold on to their hand (or robe or whatever) or you’ll tumble through space forever. No fun.
Ghouls are also immortal, which would be a plus except for the fact that most of them are really-really-really boring. They love rules and are united in Group Think (sharing one consciousness), which is led by the Oligarchy, a pack of four ghouls who run things. The Oligarchy speak as one and get to wear red robes while the rest of their kind wears black:
They may look scary, but ghouls can’t fight worth a lick. Unless you’re a ghoul like Walker—who’s descended from a kick-ass Archangel like Aquila—most of their kind have the muscle tone of tissue paper.
On a final note, Ghouls all ‘live’ in the Dark Lands, which is a super-bleak but also mega-cool place. I plan to devote another Demonpedia entry to it since it is so very-very awesome. The End.
Also in this series:
The Furor (dragon-human hybrid)
Reperio Demons
The post Demonpedia: Ghouls appeared first on Ink Monster.
January 30, 2014
The Covenant Series
The post The Covenant Series appeared first on Ink Monster.
January 28, 2014
Demonpedia: Reperio
Demonpedia is a regular series where I geek out on one particular demon in the Angelbound world. This week, I’m doing Reperio demons. Please note that I don’t own these images or claim any copyright for them. This is cool stuff I found on Google or Pinterest that inspired me.
Reperio: pronunced [rep-AIR-ee-oo]
Reperio fall under the demon classification Possideo, which means they need to possess someone or something in order to take form. For Reperio, that’s garbage. If you haven’t read Angelbound yet, you might not want to read any further, matey, as there be spoilers ahead. Aaargh!
Reperio are pranksters of the demon world: tiny, shameless and foul-minded. You can’t so much kill them as destroy whatever form they’re currently possessing, after which they go back to Hell until another opportunity arises for them to hit Earth and take shape.
These little baddies were inspired by some very cool trash art that I ran across…
The one where trash turns into people urinating on the street was especially inspiring.
Also in this series:
The Furor
The post Demonpedia: Reperio appeared first on Ink Monster.
January 22, 2014
Angelbound is Today’s 99-Cent Nook Daily Find!!
Sooooooooooo excited that Angelbound is today’s Nook Daily Find at 99 cents!
Huge thanks to the teams at INscribe and Barnes & Noble for making this happen!
# # #
PRESS RELEASE: Angelbound Selected As The Nook Daily Find
NEWTON, Mass. – September 23, 2014 – Ink Monster LLC, publisher of new adult romance books in genres of sci-fi, fantasy, urban fantasy, and paranormal romance, today announced that Angelbound has been selected as the Nook Daily Find by retail powerhouse Barnes & Noble, and will be heavily promoted across its internet and Nook properties for a one-day price of 99 cents, a 75% savings. Some facts about the scope of this opportunity:
Barnes & Noble has more than 40 million customers.
Barnes & Noble has a 27% share of the eBook market and sells three times as many eBooks as compared to physical books online.
Barnes & Noble sells more than 1 million unique book titles every year.
“Considering the million-plus titles carried by Barnes & Noble, it’s a huge honor to selected for their Nook Daily Find,” says Aileen Latcham, Editorial Monster. “We’re thrilled to achieve this new level of partnership with a major retailer.”
At Ink Monster, each book series includes a minimum of three titles across a regular schedule of release dates. The next installment of the Angelbound series (Angelbound: Scala) is due for release on May 13, 2014. More details on Ink Monster’s unique publishing approach may be found in the company’s manifesto. Additional information on Angelbound is listed below.
To find out more, visit www.InkMonster.net. To sign up for the company’s newsletter, please complete the form here.
About Angelbound by Christina Bauer
Eighteen-year-old Myla Lewis is a girl who loves two things: kicking ass and kicking ass. She’s not your every day quasi-demon, half-demon and half-human, girl. For the past five years, Myla has lived for the days she gets to fight in Purgatory’s arena. When souls want a trial by combat for their right to enter heaven or hell, they go up against her, and she hasn’t lost a battle yet.
But as she starts her senior year at Purgatory High, the arena fights aren’t enough to keep her spirits up anymore. When the demons start to act weird, even for demons, and the King of the Demons, Armageddon, shows up at Myla’s school, she knows that things are changing and it’s not looking good for the quasi-demons. Myla starts to question everything, and doesn’t like the answers she finds. What happened seventeen years ago that turned the quasi-demons into slave labor? Why was her mom always so sad? And why won’t anyone tell her who her father is? Things heat up when Myla meets Lincoln, the High Prince of the Thrax, a super sexy half-human and half-angel demon hunter. But what’s a quasi-demon girl to do when she falls for a demon hunter? It’s a good thing that Myla’s not afraid of breaking a few rules. With a love worth fighting for, Myla’s going to shake up Purgatory.
For more information, visit the Angelbound page on Barnes & Noble.
About Angelbound: Scala by Christina Bauer
Nineteen-year-old Myla Lewis has transformed into the Great Scala, the only being with the power to move human souls to Heaven or Hell. Although she no longer fights demons in the Arena, Myla still has tons of ass-kicking to do as she redefines the afterlife and rebuilds Purgatory’s government. Unfortunately, her world falls apart faster than she can put it together. An enemy out of Myla’s past is sapping her powers, making her weaker by the day. As her true enemy becomes clear, Myla discovers that all the after-realms are at risk. After losing so much power, does she still have the strength to save her world?
To pre-order Angelbound: Scala, visit B&N today.
About Ink Monster
Ink Monster LLC publishes new adult romance books in the genres of sci-fi, fantasy, urban fantasy, and paranormal romance. The Company follows a studio model with teams of authors developing story-worlds under the umbrella of Ink Monster intellectual property. Ink Monster’s first two books, Angelbound and Becoming Alpha, launch on December 17, 2013. For more information, visit www.InkMonster.net.
About Barnes & Noble, Inc.
Barnes & Noble, Inc. (NYSE:BKS) is a Fortune 500 company and the leading retailer of content, digital media and educational products. The company operates 673 Barnes & Noble bookstores in 50 states, and one of the Web’s largest e-commerce sites, BN.com (www.bn.com). Its NOOK Media LLC subsidiary is a leader in the emerging digital reading and digital education markets. The NOOK digital business offers award-winning NOOK® products and an expansive collection of digital reading and entertainment content through the NOOK Store® (www.nook.com), while Barnes & Noble College Booksellers, LLC operates 695 bookstores serving over 4.6 million students and faculty members at colleges and universities across the United States. Barnes & Noble is proud to be named a J.D. Power and Associates 2012 Customer Service Champion and is only one of 50 U.S. companies so named. Barnes & Noble.com is ranked the number one online retailer in customer satisfaction in the book, music and video category and a Top 10 online retailer overall in customer satisfaction according to ForeSee E-Retail Satisfaction Index (Spring Top 100 Edition).
General information on Barnes & Noble, Inc. can be obtained via the Internet by visiting the company’s corporate website: www.barnesandnobleinc.com.
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Media Inquiries: PR@inkmonster.net
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