Christina Bauer's Blog, page 83
July 1, 2014
Bumblebee, A Poem by Ruby the Dog
A Poem by Ruby the Dog
Yay, it’s so sunny in my backyard territory!!!
There are no squirrels around
And the grass smells fucking awesome
Look, there’s Mister Bumblebee
Let’s play, buddy!
My human talks at me
Blah blah blah HAPPY DOG
Blah blah blah NOTHING BOTHERS HER
Blah blah blah CHASING BUGS
Now, I could clearly play that guy for a treat
But I’d rather have fun with you, my tiny insect friend
Yip! Yip! I love you!
I shall lick you in a sign of my undying affection
Leap yip chomp smooch and…
BERF! That kinda hurt.
Whoa, my human’s losing his shit
Blah blah blah BUMBLEBEE STING
Blah blah blah ALLERGIC REACTION
Blah blah blah EMERGENCY ROOM
Wait a minute.
I can see what this means.
Time to lose my ever-freaking mind!
Sure, my human said I’m ALWAYS HAPPY
But he’s never seen this level of emotion
Because now I’m getting a…
CAAAAAAAAAAR RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE!!!!!!!
Yip yip yip AOOOOOOOO!
The windows are down
We’re speeding the whole way
Doggie Nirvana is mine
Sniff sniff
If only my little bumblebee friend could see me now.
The post Bumblebee, A Poem by Ruby the Dog appeared first on Ink Monster.
June 30, 2014
June 26, 2014
Lincoln, Rixa & Kisses – A Scrapbook
Take a look and enjoy!
Lincoln and Myla kissing. Now that I have your attention, we’ll get back to Rixa. (More kissing later, BTW)
Mismatched eyes on a thrax girl.
Here’s the scoop on Rixa. It’s all one massive (and I do mean massive) geode of white crystal. Like this real geode above only huge and symmetrical.
Karl Lagerfeld walking through cystals because, why not? He’s Karl Lagerfeld.
Most of Rixa is forest. It’s all made of crystal, from the leaves to the trees to everything in-between. It looks snowy, but it’s actually pretty warm.
More forest inspiration.
This shows the scale of the Rixa caverns. HUUUUGE.
All the lands of Antrum are connected by the Incaedna, a magma river.
Inspiration for Arx Hall, Lincoln’s castle.
This shows the scale of Arx Hall (as in, it’s big). Of course, the real Arx Hall is surrounded by what looks like a white snowy forest.
And more Lincoln and Myla smooching, because I need inspiration for that, too.
And cuddling because awwwwwwwww.
Like these? Also in this series:
Prince Lincoln
Xavier
Myla
Reperio Demons
Furor Demons
Ghouls
Igni
You can see tons more Angelbound inspirations at my Pinterest Board. Like honestly, I have a problem.
The post Lincoln, Rixa & Kisses – A Scrapbook appeared first on Ink Monster.
June 18, 2014
My Igni Scrapbook
Igni are tiny bolts of power that the Great Scala uses to move spirits to heaven or Hell. This life-size lightning storm inspired me because hey, it’s in a volcano. Now, that’s badass.
The traditional stuff.
And some cute-n-tiny lightning.
Fear me, for I am Art Deco lightning!
A more feminine lightning treatment, also in the Art Deco style.
This is how igni move: like a school of fish. Love it.
The inspiration for the Soul Column.
Look at this one closely; it’s extra creepy-cool. This is what the igni are all about…A ton of little souls making up a greater power.
Like these? Also in this series:
Prince Lincoln
Xavier
Myla
Reperio Demons
Furor Demons
Ghouls
You can see tons more Angelbound inspirations at my Pinterest Board. Like honestly, I have a problem.
The post My Igni Scrapbook appeared first on Ink Monster.
June 13, 2014
Bethlehem Steel and the Evolution of Assembly Line Humor
To me, the ultimate factory was—and always will be—Bethlehem Steel. Gramps talked a lot about those workers, not all of it good, but I didn’t care. Bethlehem Steel seemed to be the pinnacle of badass, people literally playing with fire. My fascination with assembly line humor all flows from that intriguing mill back in Lackawanna, NY. So, before I get into the humor side of this post, I’d like to share a little more history on Bethlehem Steel. It sets the stage for the gag stuff, and I think it’s cool in general.
I’ll begin with some pics of the Bethlehem coke blast furnaces making steel…
These furnaces look incredibly kickass, but I always feel a little guilty for thinking that. I knew people who lost fathers or friends to furnace accidents. Still, I can’t help but admire the machines at work…
I love the guy on the left, watching molten steel flow by while he rubs his chin. Now, that’s ice-cold cool.
This is unbelievably cool as well. That’s all I’ll say about this pic, because it’s almost impossible to use the phrase ‘huge rod of steel’ without hitting a crappy double entendre.
I love this furnace, too. A little bit of the Iron Age plastered inside modern times.
This is the Lackawanna plant in its heyday. It smelled like Hell, but dang, it looked awesome…
More fire awesomeness.
At the height of WWII, Bethlehem Steel employed about 20,000 workers. That was a shit-ton of people for Western New York. The area still has a love affair with steel (more on that later.)
How amazing are these guys? Pretty damn amazing. They’re all tough, simple, badass, and slightly insane to do what they do for a living. Like my Grandpa Jack.
And here are the Bethlehem Steel workers leaving the factory on the day before it closed…
The Lackawanna plant may have been closed for decades, but it’s still a huge deal to the area. I love this tatt.
And here’s what the place looks like today…
Haunting, right? I lived through the ‘before’ and ‘after’ on the saga of Lackawanna and Bethlehem Steel. To this day, I’m fascinated by the story arc of the industrial revolution. In it, machinery goes from the height of cool…to a staple of life…and then into rust.
So now, without further ado, here’s some of that rust belt history told through assembly line gags because, hey, why not?
1. Charlie Chaplin in Modern Times (1936)
This movie was made in 1936, the height of industrial revolution cool. Chaplin becomes so focused on his job, he forgets the world around him…with hilarious results. The viewer doesn’t know what ‘the Little Tramp’ is making, but it does appear to be some kind of cool steel something with bolts. Ahhhh, industrial revolution chic.
To me, this gag reflects the era’s intoxication with industry. At the time, no one in Chaplin’s audience questioned that you could get excited and sucked in by a fascination of working with machines…the joke was that this happens to everyone, although not as extremely as Chaplin. All in all, man and the assembly line were the dual focus of this sketch.
In terms of storytelling, there are so many great things about this scene, I don’t know where to begin. Chaplin becomes so focused on his work that he ignores the guy next to him and, eventually, becomes part of the machine itself. I also love the juxtaposition of Chaplin’s scrawny frame next to the big dude in the scene’s opening. That huge man exemplifies the ideal factory worker: tall, strong, and focused in the right ways. Chaplin is how I think the audience really felt next to this awesomeness: a joke.
OK, let’s fast-forward about twenty years…
2. Lucille Ball on the I Love Lucy Show
This is one of the all-time classic Lucille Ball sketches, so if you haven’t seen it, watch it now! In this bit, Ball is not a worker who’s enchanted by machinery. Instead, the industry around her is part of the joke. The assembly line moves too fast and takes silly stuff like candy way too seriously. Ball doesn’t work too hard (unlike Chaplin); she gets overwhelmed and starts making a mess. Don’t get me wrong, there’s still a healthy dose of machinery-love in here—notice how Lucy and Ethel look at the assembly line like it was magical—but there’s also a good dose of ‘yeah, we all fuck up/off at work’ in the piece, too.
Another interesting difference is that the sketch no longer focuses on the relationship between man and machine, but between Lucy and Ethel as well.
Now, on to the last one…
3. Laverne & Shirley opening credits
Twenty more years pass until we have the opening credits to the Laverne & Shirley show, another favorite of mine growing up.
In this segment, we see two women who feel very comfortable around machines and each other. They goof with foam and throw gloves on bottles, all while feeling pretty confident that they aren’t ruining batches of beer or throwing gloved-shaped monkey wrenches into the works. Machinery is a fact of life, not good and not bad, but always there.
Even when I was watching the show for the first time, I always felt like the shot where the glove going down the assembly line was a haunting one. In terms of the storytelling, the shot transitioned the viewer from the plant setting to the girls’ apartment, but to me, it was also a kind of farewell to the industrial revolution in general.
On a final note, I couldn’t find any good examples of post industrial-revolution humor. Long story short, decaying factories are just not that funny. The loss of the industrial way of life—at least as the primary mode for most folks in the rust belt—is still an open wound. In Buffalo, it’s a favorite pastime to discuss how to revitalize our area, and no matter what we try, the factories and assembly lines remain abandoned. That said, assembly line stories and humor like the ones in this post are still vibrant and remembered. Although that’s a bitter-sweet legacy, it’s also not the worst one in the world, either. Not by a long shot.
Like how I pontificate about art, culture and other random stuff? Check out these posts:
Which Lord of the Rings is Best?
3 Reasons Why Tolkien Is The Bomb
Thoughts on Lawrence of Arabia
An open letter to the French guy I met in Geneva, Switzerland
I have a thing for William Powell
An Open Letter to My Brain
Alan Lee, Kick Ass Illustrator
Thoughts of Scarlett O’Hara
I heart Rosalind Russell
The post Bethlehem Steel and the Evolution of Assembly Line Humor appeared first on Ink Monster.
June 4, 2014
I heart Rosalind Russell
Look at her. Divine, am I right? Here are three examples of her goddess-like nature in action…
1. His Girl Friday
This is a great fucking movie. Russell plays a writer—and a damn good one—who is trying to get away from her old life as a reporter-slash-wife with the adorably manipulative newspaper editor, . Unfortunately, she wants to begin anew with milquetoast nobody . Boo. Now, some folks will tell you that no one does a better battle of the sexes movie than and . For my taste, Tracy always came off as the all-knowing godhead in those films, which pisses me off. Meanwhile, Grant is a rogue and lovable villain to Russell’s hard working and wish-I-could-hate-my-editor staff reporter. Even though you know Bellamy would give Russell a safer life, you can’t help rooting for Grant to manipulate the fuck out of her.
***SPOILER ALERT*** He does.
Love Russell’s work in this movie. I particularly love this hat:
2. Auntie Mame
DAMN, I adore this film. It’s the perfect bookend to His Girl Friday because in Mame, Russell is the female version of Grant in Friday: a manipulative and uber-intelligent monster who you can’t help but adore. Once again, she’s also a successful writer (go her!) Most importantly, she gets some FABOO outfits to wear by the super-talented :
Those of you who know how I dress have probably guessed that I got my love of international jackets from this movie. Fun!
3. Picnic.
Okay, I know that a film buff will tell you that Picnic is important because it was the first time a guy was really presented as beefcake in a movie, in this case, a pre-steroid-era . I hated the movie, thought Holden’s character was a wimp, and found the beefcake attempt here not at all sexy as a result. Russell plays an old rat-bag who hits on Holden, unsuccessfully. Without a doubt, I hated that part of the story the most. In real life, Russell had her issues with the film as well, which is why she refused the Supporting Actress Oscar for it. Go you, Rosalind!
All in all, Russell is one kick-ass chick and I likes her a ton. If you haven’t seen Auntie Mame or His Girl Friday, please go out and do so right now. It’s absolutely worth it!
Like how I pontificate about art, culture and other random stuff? Check out these posts:
Which Lord of the Rings is Best?
3 Reasons Why Tolkien Is The Bomb
Thoughts on Lawrence of Arabia
An open letter to the French guy I met in Geneva, Switzerland
I have a thing for William Powell
An Open Letter to My Brain
Alan Lee, Kick Ass Illustrator
Thoughts of Scarlett O’Hara
The post I heart Rosalind Russell appeared first on Ink Monster.
I heart Rosalind Russel
Look at her. Divine, am I right? Here are three examples of her goddess-like nature in action…
1. His Girl Friday
This is a great fucking movie. Rosalind Russell plays a reporter and a damn good one–who is trying to get away from her old life as a reporter and love with a very cocky and cute …And begin a new life with milquetoast nobody . Now, some folks will tell you that there’s no one who does an awesome battle of the sexes movie like and . For my taste, Tracy always came off as the all-knowing godhead in those movies, which pissed me off. meanwhile, Cary Grant is a rogue and lovable villain to Rosalind Russel’s hard working reporter. Even though you know Ralph Bellamy would be a safer life, you can’t help rooting for Cary to manipulate the fuck out of her. ***SPOILER ALERT*** He does. Love Russell’s work in this movie. I particularly love this hat:
2. Auntie Mame
DAMN, I adore this film. It’s the perfect bookend to His Girl Friday because in Mame, Russell is the female version of Grant in Friday: a manipulative and uber-intelligent monster who you can’t help but adore. Once again, she’s also a successful writer (go her!) Most importantly, she gets some FABOO outfits to wear by the super-taelented :
Those of you who know how I dress have probably guessed that I got my love of international jackets from this movie. fun!
3. Picnic.
Okay, I know that a film buff will tell you that Picnic is an important movie because it was the first time a guy was really presented as beefcake in a film, in this case, a pre-steroid-era . I hated the movie, thought Holden’s character was a wimp and not at all sexy as a result. Rosalind Russell plays an old ragbag who hits on him, unsuccessfully. I suppose I hated that part the most. Russell had her issues too, which is why she refused the Supporting Actress Oscar for it. Go you, Rosalind!
All in all, Russell is one kick-ass chick and I likes her. If you haven’t seen Auntie Mame or His Girl Friday, go out and do so now. Ut’s absolutely worth it!
Like how I pontificate about art, culture and other random stuff? Check out these posts:
Which Lord of the Rings is Best?
3 Reasons Why Tolkien Is The Bomb
Thoughts on Lawrence of Arabia
An open letter to the French guy I met in Geneva, Switzerland
I have a thing for William Powell
An Open Letter to My Brain
Alan Lee, Kick Ass Illustrator
Thoughts of Scarlett O’Hara
The post I heart Rosalind Russel appeared first on Ink Monster.
May 28, 2014
May 22, 2014
My Myla Scrapbook
Myla’s favorite chest-kick battle move was inspired by this nun. You go, sistah!
More warrior coolness…
One of the pics that inspired Myla’s joint fighting style with Lincoln…
And some lovey stuff with Myla and Lincoln…
Myla demon-eyed…
This is Myla’s hair…
And here’s part of the inspiration for her over-gown in Scala…
Like these? Also in this series:
Prince Lincoln
Xavier
Reperio Demons
Furor Demons
Ghouls
You can see tons more Angelbound inspirations at my Pinterest Board. Like honestly, I have a problem.
The post My Myla Scrapbook appeared first on Ink Monster.
May 20, 2014
Cover Reveal – Armageddon!
The post Cover Reveal – Armageddon! appeared first on Ink Monster.
