Christina Bauer's Blog, page 80
December 26, 2014
CB’s Blog: 5 Ooey-Gooey Facts About Me
Like, at all.
Since then I’ve done a bunch of blog posts, and so far you people seem to care most about what I eat, which is why I love y’all! Now, I’m following up with five not-too-well-known facts…
1. I have a special needs rights child.
My son Max is a bright, loving and amazing child who happens to have a diagnosis on the autism spectrum. He’s also my hero; he fights so hard for every gain he makes and does it while exuding nothing but positive energy. I am incredibly blessed to be his mother. I’m not saying it’s an easy job, but I am saying that my kid is awesome.
PS. Max’s old preschool at Tufts calls it Special Rights, and they describe the difference far better than I could.
My tough guy with a broken arm that he barely whined about.
The thing in his mouth is a chewie. It helps him focus.
2. I write novels, work in high-tech marketing, and read about a book a day.
The writing part is made possible by the wonderful team at Ink Monster, who are incredibly supportive. Wouldn’t be able to do it without you guys! The reading bit is courtesy my long commute on the T. The day job is still around because I haven’t written enough books to quit yet. I’m working on it, though!
This is the profile picture for my ‘day job self’ on Linked In.
3. I host a web site with free resources for special needs kids.
Because it’s important to give back.
My web site, www.freeautismresources.com.
4. I have a true partner in crime.
I write a lot about couples who tackle stuff as a team, and that’s because my husband is the best. If you read my books, you know what I am trying to say here. I love him like crazy.
My guys 
The yellow thing is another chewie.
5. I am an introvert and I hate talking about this personal stuff.
Thus, I shall say no more and illustrate my last point with a cartoon:
For introverts, quiet time is sacred.
Whew. With that, I am done sharing! Woo hoo! I did it!
Like the way I blog about my personal side? Check these out:
Our corporate offsite and Candypants
Stuff I love (hint: food is involved)
Drug-dealing tampons
The post CB’s Blog: 5 Ooey-Gooey Facts About Me appeared first on Ink Monster.
December 17, 2014
CB’s Blog: Drug dealing tampons and other crazy stuff
Observation # 1. Borrowing tampons at the office is not unlike like dealing drugs
This actually happened to me this week, which is why it’s top of mind. Basically, the process of borrowing tampons while at work involves a lot of whispering, nodding, shaking of heads and, eventually, a sneaky handoff followed by racing from the room. I’m pretty sure that the guys in inside sales think I was looking for some blow and scored big.
Ah, how I love it when people think my life is interesting.
It looked like this, only with girls and in an office setting. I was wearing black, however.
Observation #2. We need more Krampus love!
I’m of German extract which is why I can say the following: leave it to the Germans to take something cute like Christmas and turn it into a terrifying childhood experience. Krampus is one such example. In this classic tale, evil Santa tortures all the bad children. Fun times!
(For super-fun times, you can go to Krampus-con! For reals!)
Happy future topics for therapy sessions, das children!
While we’re on the subject, let’s not forget another German classic of childhood trauma and storytelling: Stupid Peter. It’s also more closely translated as Shock Peter, for obvious reasons:
In this example, guess what Stupid Peter forgot to do? Leave it to the Germans for subtlety.
And for my final entry in this league of honor, we have Grimm’s Fairy Tales. The brothers Grimm were indeed German and did a fine job collecting sick stories from the local house fraus. Because if anyone can scare the crap out of you, it’s your mother.
Grandmother, what big German ancestry you have!
Things don’t end well in the original Grimm’s Fairy Tales. We’ll leave it at that.
Observation #3. Getting quoted in a white paper is a weird but fun experience.
Below please find the aforementioned white paper wherein I spill my guts.
To get a free copy (why I don’t know, but I’m offering) you can click here or on the image below.
I’m out of clever captions for this one.
So that’s it. Tampons, drugs, Germans and white papers. It’s been a full week.
Like the way I blog about random stuff? Check these out:
Our corporate offsite and Candypants
Stuff I love (hint: food is involved)
The post CB’s Blog: Drug dealing tampons and other crazy stuff appeared first on Ink Monster.
December 10, 2014
CB’s Blog: Stuff I Love
So, without further ado, here goes:
This place is the bomb. Basically, it’s an indoor water park where Mommy can order beer and pizza poolside while her guys act like crocodiles by the hour. This really is one of the best innovations known to parenthood.
My son and husband, in crocodile mode.
In my spare time, I look for two things: the best burger/fry/shake combo in the universe and equally awesome cookies. Flour Bakery in Boston is top of the list for the sweet side of that search. Their home-made oreos will blow your fucking mind. They’re like, a million dollars each and worth every penny.
The best oreos in the universe, period.
3. This Coffee
I drink a shit-ton of coffee and I like it fresh. I also like to think that I’ll drink more than I actually do, so that used to mean brewing a lot of pots for nothing. Then, Via came into my life, aka Starbucks Instant. This was all well and good until I realized it cost an assload on money and I went through packages of it like lightning.
Enter the Via 50-pack bulk thingy on Amazon. Yay!
I still go through it like lightning, but look at the server tray at the bottom. Cute!
So there you have it. Two favorite things that have to do with food and one about my sweet guys, with the latter getting top billing.
Sounds about right.
Like reading this? Here’s more:
Our corporate offsite and Candypants
The post CB’s Blog: Stuff I Love appeared first on Ink Monster.
December 3, 2014
November 25, 2014
November 17, 2014
Why the Evil Queen is Awesome
Wondering if I’m on crazy pills? Here are four reasons why The EQ is the bomb, IMHO…
1. She’s running the show and she likes it.
The EQ is clearly ruling the country. I mean, where’s the King this whole time? Who knows? Who cares? I’m talking real power here, not rodents doing housework. Plus, she looks smoking hot doing it. Bonus points!
The EQ, ruling the country with excellent posture and a killer mani.
2. She has awesome eyebrows.
Her whole look in general is solid, but the eyebrows are a particular achievement.
Plus, her red lipstick perfectly matches her brooch. Nice.
3. She has marketable skills.
Not only does The EQ rule the land without any help from the King, but she also has a sideline making potions in the basement. Damn, that’s one killer work ethic. Go EQ!
The EQ, an entrepreneur.
4. She has issues with her direct reports.
Now, we come to why I really root for her Majesty. We’ve all had issues with our team members, and The EQ is no exception. Take the magic mirror, for example. She asks it for an honest assessment of beauty, and the thing picks a pre-pubescent, boy-obsessed, and rodent-loving twirp. Come on, did someone drop that mirror on its enchanted head or what? And don’t get me started on the huntsman. The EQ gave clear directives and still, the guy went off and did whatever he wanted to anyway. Sheesh.
Next time, buy a new mirror, girlfriend.
So, there you have it. Why The EQ is the bomb, at least in my humble opinion. One of these days, I hope she finds her happy ending, too.
Like how I pontificate about art, culture and other random stuff? Check out these posts:
Scarlett O’Hara, Queen of Kick-Ass
Which Lord of the Rings is Best?
3 Reasons Why Tolkien Is The Bomb
Thoughts on Lawrence of Arabia
An open letter to the French guy I met in Geneva, Switzerland
I have a thing for William Powell
An Open Letter to My Brain
Alan Lee, Kick Ass Illustrator
On the First Chakra
The post Why the Evil Queen is Awesome appeared first on Ink Monster.
November 10, 2014
CB’s Blog: Our Corporate Offsite and Candypants
As Myla would say, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
This suggestion was brought up by Candace (aka Candypants), who you can see in the picture below. Besides having an awesome nickname, Candace is also a brilliant woman who’ll be building our reader database…YAY CANDACE!!
Who else is in the picture?
Glad you asked.
Next in line are Kelly and Guillian from our distributor, Inscribe. After that, we have Stephanie, a guest speaker who joined to tell us about how to build customer loyalty. Thank you, Stephanie!!! Aileen Erin/Latcham gave everyone her editorial-slash-business expertise and—last but not least—Lola shared her publishing experiences as well as her plans for Quanta. Other highlights:
We ate a lot of baked goods and pizza. We’re writers, after all. Excessive eating is a critical part of the creative process, as anyone who worships Liz Lemon (as I do!) would know.
Lola brought chocolate and had a cute Tokidoki cover for her computer.
Aileen’s husband Jeremy made us watch this video. Don’t click on that link unless you want a vicious ear worm in your head for the next few months. Arrrrgh, ye be warned!
We’re thinking about testing books in print bookstores (like Barnes & Noble) next year.
You’re now totally up on the corporate offsite.
With that preface behind me, here are four things that happened to me this week, in no particular order:
1. My son tried to eat an apple.
My sweet baby (OK he’s ten) is a loving, smiley and smart kid who happens to be on the autism spectrum with sensory processing disorder. This means that new tastes, sights, and smells can be overwhelming to him. This week, my boy steeled his courage to take some tentative bites from a new kind of apple. He’s so brave and persistent; it makes me the proudest Mom ever There are typical kids who never have to face anything as terrifying as this particular apple, which now holds a place of honor in our fridge:
There’s a good chance this thing may never get thrown away.
2. I finished a good romance where the Mom had a kid on the autism spectrum
Honestly, this book could have sucked (it didn’t) and I still would have loved it for the little boy alone. The author did a good job doing her homework on what it’s like to be a parent of a child on the spectrum, and the romance was bitter-sweet. Five stars!
In case you’re wondering, I read a book a day on my commute into Boston for my day job as a high-tech marketer. I love the T!
3. I learned a dirty song in Hebrew, and someone got video.
I was in Barcelona on a work thing earlier this month. It was happy hour. It seemed like a good decision at the time. Can you say ‘career limiting move?’
4. I started outlining a new fantasy world based on temple culture in ancient Egypt.
This is what I think about on the T when I’m done reading my daily book. Yes, my brain is a busy place.
Whew. That was easier than I thought it would be.
As Darth Vader said, “you were riiiiiiiiight, Candypants!” Okay, maybe he left off the Candypants part
The post CB’s Blog: Our Corporate Offsite and Candypants appeared first on Ink Monster.
My Week: Our Corporate Offsite and Candypants
As Myla would say, fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
This suggestion was brought up by Candace (aka Candypants), who you can see in the picture below. Besides having an awesome nickname, Candace is also a brilliant woman who’ll be building our reader database…YAY CANDACE!!
Who else is in the picture?
Glad you asked.
Next in line are Kelly and Guillian from our distributor, Inscribe. After that, we have Stephanie, a guest speaker who joined to tell us about how to build customer loyalty. Thank you, Stephanie!!! Aileen Erin/Latcham gave everyone her editorial-slash-business expertise and—last but not least—Lola shared her publishing experiences as well as her plans for Quanta. Other highlights:
We ate a lot of baked goods and pizza. We’re writers, after all. Excessive eating is a critical part of the creative process, as anyone who worships Liz Lemon (as I do!) would know.
Lola brought chocolate and had a cute Tokidoki cover for her computer.
Aileen’s husband Jeremy made us watch this video. Don’t click on that link unless you want a vicious ear worm in your head for the next few months. Arrrrgh, ye be warned!
We’re going to test out having our books in print bookstores (like Barnes & Noble) next year.
You’re now totally up on the corporate offsite.
With that preface behind me, here are four things that happened to me this week, in no particular order:
1. My son tried to eat an apple.
My sweet baby (OK he’s ten) is a loving, smiley and smart kid who happens to be on the autism spectrum with sensory processing disorder. This means that new tastes, sights, and smells can be overwhelming to him. This week, my boy steeled his courage to take some tentative bites from a new kind of apple. He’s so brave and persistent; it makes me the proudest Mom ever There are typical kids who never have to face anything as terrifying as this particular apple, which now holds a place of honor in our fridge:
There’s a good chance this thing may never get thrown away.
2. I finished a good romance where the Mom had a kid on the autism spectrum
Honestly, this book could have sucked (it didn’t) and I still would have loved it for the little boy alone. The author did a good job doing her homework on what it’s like to be a parent of a child on the spectrum, and the romance was bitter-sweet. Five stars!
In case you’re wondering, I read a book a day on my commute into Boston for my day job as a high-tech marketer. I love the T!
3. I learned a dirty song in Hebrew, and someone got video.
I was in Barcelona on a work thing earlier this month. It was happy hour. It seemed like a good decision at the time. Can you say ‘career limiting move?’
4. I started outlining a new fantasy world based on temple culture in ancient Egypt.
This is what I think about on the T when I’m done reading my daily book. Yes, my brain is a busy place.
Whew. That was easier than I thought it would be.
As Darth Vader said, “you were riiiiiiiiight, Candypants!” Okay, maybe he left off the Candypants part
The post My Week: Our Corporate Offsite and Candypants appeared first on Ink Monster.
November 5, 2014
Book Review: STAND CLOSE TRILOGY
The post Book Review: STAND CLOSE TRILOGY appeared first on Ink Monster.
November 4, 2014
Scala And Armageddon Now Available In Paperback!
The Angelbound Series in Paperback:
Angelbound
NEW: Scala
NEW: Armageddon
Thank you for supporting Ink Monster!
The post Scala And Armageddon Now Available In Paperback! appeared first on Ink Monster.
