CB’s Blog: Drug dealing tampons and other crazy stuff

Here are some random observations from this week. I tried to think of a longer and more cleverer introduction, but in the end, I decided to get right into the tampons and drug dealing because, let’s face it, that’s my best bit today.

Observation # 1. Borrowing tampons at the office is not unlike like dealing drugs

This actually happened to me this week, which is why it’s top of mind. Basically, the process of borrowing tampons while at work involves a lot of whispering, nodding, shaking of heads and, eventually, a sneaky handoff followed by racing from the room. I’m pretty sure that the guys in inside sales think I was looking for some blow and scored big.

Ah, how I love it when people think my life is interesting.

It looked like this, only with girls and in an office setting. I was wearing black, however.

Observation #2. We need more Krampus love!

I’m of German extract which is why I can say the following: leave it to the Germans to take something cute like Christmas and turn it into a terrifying childhood experience. Krampus is one such example. In this classic tale, evil Santa tortures all the bad children. Fun times!

(For super-fun times, you can go to Krampus-con! For reals!)

Happy future topics for therapy sessions, das children!

While we’re on the subject, let’s not forget another German classic of childhood trauma and storytelling: Stupid Peter. It’s also more closely translated as Shock Peter, for obvious reasons:

In this example, guess what Stupid Peter forgot to do? Leave it to the Germans for subtlety.

And for my final entry in this league of honor, we have Grimm’s Fairy Tales. The brothers Grimm were indeed German and did a fine job collecting sick stories from the local house fraus. Because if anyone can scare the crap out of you, it’s your mother.

Grandmother, what big German ancestry you have!

Things don’t end well in the original Grimm’s Fairy Tales. We’ll leave it at that.

Observation #3. Getting quoted in a white paper is a weird but fun experience.

Below please find the aforementioned white paper wherein I spill my guts.

To get a free copy (why I don’t know, but I’m offering) you can click here or on the image below.

I’m out of clever captions for this one.

So that’s it. Tampons, drugs, Germans and white papers. It’s been a full week.

Like the way I blog about random stuff? Check these out: 

Our corporate offsite and Candypants
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