Leon Scott Baxter's Blog, page 21

Familiar with Break-ups, Not So Much with a “Break”

Sugar Ray, Separate Beds and Babies

On Celebrity Wife Swap this week, Sugar Ray singer, Mark McGrath and wife Carin Kingsland admitted that they hadn’t slept in the same bed for months being the parents of two-year old twins.

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I have two girls. They are no longer toddlers and they aren’t twins, but I remember those days when we lived life exhausted. Tired was the norm. We’d go to sleep beat, wake up a few times during the night to deal with feedings, crying, or scary thoughts. Morning would come too soon, and we’d be off to work with burning red eys, yawning the entire day.

I get that bed was an escape. It was the place where you could possibly catch a few weeks before the inevitable. And, for Mark and Carin, sleeping in separate beds has less to do with their relationship, and more to do with parenting. By sleeping in their own beds with their children, they have a better chance of sleeping through the night, but at what cost? There are many who are cheering a movement of twin beds in a marriage, but sleeping with your spouse creates a bond and connection that nothing else can, and I’m not talking about the benefits of sex.

When we sleep with someone (real slumber) we are exposing ourselves, our true selves, at our most vulnerable to another human being. The make up is off. Hair is mussed. Crust in the eyes. Morning breath. Snoring. Talking in your sleep. By sleeping with someone, you are telling them that you trust and love them enough for them to see you at your worst, and you know that they will still be there for them in the morning.

I get that sleep is important and kids in a bed with two adults is a tough pill to swallow. So, instead of moving to separate beds, it’s time for the kids to move to their own. I know. Many will argue with me, but for the sanctity of the marriage, Mom and Dad need to connect. The kids will survive in their own beds. The best thing you can do for your children is have a strong connection as their parents. And, I think by the end of the episode Mark and Carin were getting that concept. 

Sometimes you need to put the kids second and the marriage first so that all the pieces are in place for everyone.

Crushed

I’d Like to Thank…

The Academy Awards have come and gone. Are you an Oscars fanatic? If so, here’s a trivia question for you. What do all of these celebs have in common: Hilary Swank, Jane Fonda, Sean Penn, Sandra Bullock, Liza Minnelli, Vivien Leigh, and Emma Thompson? If you said that they are all Oscar winners, you are only partially correct. In their acceptance speeches, they neglected to thank their spouses and eventually their marriages ended in divorces.

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 I don’t know if the divorces were a result of these stars’ neglecting to mention their spouses, or if neglecting to to mention them was a result of the fact that their relationships were heading to Divorceville already.

I can tell you, though, to avoid a sad ending to the movie called Your Mariage, acknowledge your spouse in your accomplishments… even if you have done all the hard work. Good chance your spouse was taking up the slack somewhere else as you worked for your achievement. And, even if they didn’t just thanking them, telling otheres that he/she was an incredible support, can only bring good the the relationship. Will it prevent a divorce? Who knows, but it certainly won’t cause one.

 

He Just Ignores Me

Pregnancies, Deployment, and Changes

She’s Mad Because I’m Mad

Kanye’s Ride Is My Mango

Help me out here. I am not married to a multi-millionaire, nor have I ever dated one, so maybe I’m off base here, but if you have the dough to buy it yourself, is a “cool” expensive gift that cool just because someone else bought it for you?

Kim Kardashian bought her boyfriend, Kanye West, a $750,000 Lamborghini for his 35th birthday. So, here’s my perspective. If someone did that for me, great, incredible, absolutely outrageous. I can’t afford a sick ride like that. I’d love it, and if it was my significant other, even better.

Okay, let’s say I do make a lot of money and theoretically could afford said car, but due to other financial responsibilities, although I’d want one, it’s just not something I would buy just yet. That being the case, again, super! My woman 

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sees what I want, but knows I am not going to spend my own cash for it, so I’ll never own the car, unless she buys it for me. Very caring, awfully romantic.

But, let’s look at Kanye West. He does have the cash and it appears that he can, by all means, pick up one of these vehicles on his own. He just hasn’t. He’s chosen other toys instead. So, what makes this gift so special? It’s like my wife buying me a mango. I generally buy cantaloupes. I can afford a mango. If I wanted one badly enough, I’d get it myself. So, yeah, cool, I’ve got a mango, and she bought it for me, but, big deal. If I really wanted one, I’d have gotten it for myself.

See, what makes a gift special is if it’s something someone has mentioned or hinted at, but just can’t see getting for themselves (“I sure do think mangos are a good looking fruit. I’d love to try one one day if given the opportunity, but if I’m buying, I’m going with my old cantaloupe stand-by.”) Or, if you make it special. Kim could have pimped out Kanye’s ride with a Hello Kitty interior (assuming that was what he was into) and a license plate that read “Knye Kat”. 

I have very prominent ears. No, they are not big (actually, rather small in an apricot sort of way), but they do stick out, a la Charlie Brown. If my wife came home with a mango in the shape of my head, that I would appreciate.

Look, all I’m saying is a gift isn’t special just because it’s expensive. Thought goes into good gifts. Some of the best cost little or nothing. On the other hand, some of the best also cost an arm and a leg, but if they are “some of the best”, more than money goes into them. Thought is an integral part of the equation!

He’s Obsessed With My Pretty Friend

Schweddy Balls No More

Remember that SNL skit with Alec Baldwin where he was talking about “Schweddy Balls”? Schweddy Balls were a holiday baked treat, but as Baldwin spoke about them on the radio, it was easy to mistake the remarks as somethng all too 

[image error]different. Well, today, as I’m looking through Men’s Journal I come across an ad for “Fresh Balls“. As I read the details, I discover the product is made precisely for actual “schweddy balls”. This is a lotion that they claim works like an underarm antiperspirant for a man’s, well, yea… Schweddy balls. They claim that 99.9% of all men suffer from this “disorder” and therefore we should fork over ten bucks to stop the perspiration madness.

So, why am I writing about this? Because I’m wondering who’s buying this stuff and why. If less than one percent of the male population has dry nuts, why aren’t we flooding the Fresh Balls website to dry off “the brothers”? The reason is because unless our testicles are sweating so much that we’re finding a wet spot in the crotch of our pants, men don’t really notice. Therefore, this product must be geared toward women…women who cannot tolerate the level of perspiration their partners’ “twins” exude. But, why would they even care, unless it’s botehrsome during sexual intimacy? And, if that’s the case, maybe instead of slopping a bunch of testicle cream on the guys every day, couldn’t he just take a shower before sex? 

You take a shower, dry off and everything, including “los huevos”, are clean, fresh and dry. “But, they get wet once we get going,” she may say. But, isn’t that the way everything gets during sex? We should start clean and fresh, and as things get heated up, wetness generally ensues. So, what’s the problem? 

If you are a man, and you can see the benefits of Fresh Balls, please enlighten me. If I’m completely off base, ladies, and this product is a necessity, explain to me why. From where I’m sitting, if a woman gave me a gift of Fresh Balls, I’d be a little taken back. It’s like me buying my wife a douche kit. 

Balls are supposed to sweat. It’s a self-regulated cooling system so that sperm can survive in different climates. Maybe it’s just me, but Fresh Balls doesn’t sound like the best gift for a woman to give a man. Sounds more like a sketch comedy product.