Leon Scott Baxter's Blog, page 22

Bears, Bad Sweets and Dead Roses

Just now, I’m watching Pawn Stars, a show geared toward men. The program cuts to a commercial and the first three are telling me what I need to buy my wife for Valentine’s Day. The advertisers are assuming that the men watching Pawn Stars have waited to the last moment to even consider that Valentine’s Day is on the horizon.

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The first commercail is for Kay Jewelers. It tells me in a nutshell that my wife wants me to buy her diamonds for Valentine’s Day, because they are romantic.

Then, comes a Russel Stovers commercial. Russel Stovers sells chocolates in heart boxes. Chocolates are notorious for being romantic, but have you ever tasted Russel Stover’s choclates? They are what I call “junk chocolate”, chocolate that a four-year old would devour or that a full grown adult would stick aside until the “good stuff” was gone, and then would eventually eat when there was no good choclate left in the house, and later regret it because it wasn’t worth it. 

Finally, was the Vermont Teddy Bear commercial that told me that my wife of 20 years wants me to buy her a giant Teddy Bear. The commercial asks why I’d want to buy flowers that die in a few days. Then it attacks the previous commercial, “Chocolates are great for a few seconds, but then she’ll ask if she looks fat.” Finally, they present me with the solution to my Valentine’s Day conundrum: a ginormous Teddy Bear, because “Guys, this Valentine’s Day, size really does matter… It’s thoughtful and romantic and shows you were thinking only of her.”

I beg to differ. Getting your sweetheart a Teddy Bear the size of a Biggest Loser contestant shows her that you are either a sophomore in high school or that you had no idea what to get her and that a commercial on The History Channel roped you in to getting her something that she can’t use, that is not creative and that will take up space that she might want to use for, oh, I don’t know, furniture or a small car.

Look guys, if you have no idea what to do for Valentine’s Day, you don’t have to just go through the motions because a couple commercials try to tell you what your woman finds romantic. All it takes is a little time (you have that….Valentine’s Day is four days away) and some thought (since you’re reading this, it proves you have the ability to think). Find out what it is that makes her feel loved and cared for, not on Valentine’s Day, but just in life. So, feel free to take her out to a romantic dinner, buy her some roses, buy her some chocolates (See’s…86 the Russel Stovers) or even a pair of earrings, but do something else, something that is specific to her.

Does she like the outdoors? Take her for a sunset hike or set up a romantic picnic with her favorite Chinese food, a bottle of wine and her favorite dessert.

Is she a fan of Dancing With the Stars? Then, Netflix or Hulu some of the best episodes and draw her a bath, get her some comfy pajamas and let her snuggle on the sofa with a bag of popcorn while you play the shows for her. Valentine’s Day should not be a day where we fellas feel we have to scramble to “appear” romantic, based on what commercials tell us. Being romantic is easier than it sounds. Just find out what she likes in life. Be creative. Then, be willing to give up some of your time to make the day special for her. And, screw that giant bear!

Ten-Year Wedding Plan

Earlier this week I heard about a woman, Kate Owens, who planned out her wedding to the “T”… ten years before the big day… before she even had a boyfriend. Yes, that’s right, there was no groom, no proposal, no engagement ring. 

[image error]Yet, there was a color scheme, wedding dress design, bridesmaid dresses, and she even booked the band nine years before the big day.

So, I tell my wife about this insanity expecting her to chortle with me as we ride this “crazy train” together. Instead she tells me that this is not all that unusual, that women fantasize about their wedding day as early as teens. An exert at the site TheKnot.com says that upwards of 40% of their visitors are not even engaged yet.

For most of us men, if we picture our wedding day, we might envision a black tux, a white gown, some alcohol and dancing to “Play That Funky Music White Boy”. That’s about it. I guess it’s okay to create all the deatils in your mind ahead of time. The thing that concerns me though, is that when you are so fixated upon “the big day” you lose sight of the true reason for celebration.

You’ve got these Bridezillas who want everything to just be perfect or the day is ruined, as if the wedding day is the end-all-be-all, when in fact the wedding day is just the beginning. It’s the gateway to the path of marriage. With so much focus on perfection for the wedding, it worries me that there’s not enough focus on the days, weeks and years to come.

There’s a good chance that something will go awry on your wedding day: someone steps on the bride’s dress, the DJ plays the wrong first song (as he did for our wedding), there’s not enough champagne, or the center peices don’t match the groomsmen’s cummerbuns. If you can take these blips in stride, you are well on your way to being able to deal with the obstacles life has in store for you down your marital path.

So, go ahead and plan your big day. But, don’t get so hung up on it. It’s not the end. It’s the beginning. You’ll have many years to rectify the mishaps on the day you tie the knot.

Te’o, Catfishing, and Virtual Relationships

So, Catfishing has become very mainstream recently. In 201o there was a documentary film called Catfish, coining the term. A TV show on MTV based on the film startred airing recently. But what brought Catfishing to America’s attention

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 was Notre Dame football player Manti Te’o. Acording to UrbanDictionary.com, a catfish “is someone who pretends to be someone they’re not using Facebook or other social media to create false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.”

Te’o had an online relationship with a young lady for a few years. He considered her his girlfriend. They converesed electroinically and spoke regularly on the phone, but never met. Near the end of 2012, Te’o's girlfriend found out she had cancer, and soon after he was told that she had passed away. 

What’s come to the surface recently is that te’o had been duped all along. The girlfriend he had feelings for never existed. Instead. on the other side of the computer (and possibly, phne) was another young man catfishing the football player.

What I deal with every week are people who want advice on had to handle their online relationships. I believe most are real, and not catfish, yet so many involve people couples who have never met face to face. they email, Skype, text and 

 

phone one another. When you do that, then your brain must fill in the gaps, the parts that you can only know when you are with someone in person. Therefore, when they fall in love, they are falling in love with a person that they have partially created.

When I was dating there were no such things as virtual relationships. The closest thing I had to one was with a girl I dated in college who went to study abroad for a year in Euope. We called once a week and sent letters to one another. The thing is, though, that I spent months with her face-to-face before she left. As a result, I can’t give firsthand experience of what it’s like to have a relationship with someone I have never met, but I can tell you that if you are fine with this and it’s fulfilling, then there’s not a problem with it.

The thing is, though, that there’s a whole dimension that is being overlooked when you have a virtual relationship. If you have never had a face-to-face relationship, you don’t know what you are missing. I don’t mean that negatively. My wife and I were married seven years before we had our first child. For years people told us we had to have kids. The love we would feel would be like no other we had ever experienced. Well, because we had never experienced it, we didn’t know what we were missing, and, as a result, we were fine without children.

Once we had kids, we realized they were right. there was another dimension of our relationship we had yet to explore. Looking back, we are so glad we became parents. If you are good with the online relationship, then keep at it. But, there is another dimension that you are missing, and once you experience it, you’ll never want to go back. I’m not going to tell you to meet face-to-facce, but if you do, at least you’ll know if you are being catfished by a 280 pound, 54 year old, out of work father of three posing as a 27-year old single female dental assistant… I’m just saying.

Putting the Pieces Together

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This is a simple, yet effective, little gift you can easily put together for your partner.

I found many free online jigsaw puzzle makers, but I like this one. It’s simple and works well. It’s not flashy nor boastful. All you do is choose an image from your computer. Then, choose the size you want the pieces. Wait a few seconds and you have your personal jigsaw puzzle.

They create a link for you to copy and send to your partner. 

So, how can you use this? It can be used for a photo of the two of you. You can draw something for your special person, scan it, and use that image as your puzzle. I especially like using it for a message. You can create one with text or images. 

For instance, if you want to wish your partner a happy birthday, you can write an artistic “Happy Birthday”, scan it, and use that. You could find an image online of a birthday cake and a banner, and use that. Or, you could have someone take a photo of you holding a “Happy Birthday” sign.

I think using it for a proposal could work (use the smallest puzzle pieces to build more suspense). You can have her build an image of a ring on a finger with the words, “Will you?” 

There are all sorts of creative ways to use this puzzle maker. Creativity can trump paying bucks when done right.
I don’t think I can do this site justice. I just suggest you click on this link and check it out for yourself. It’s amazing the things that are available today, and if you can’t find something for your partner on this site, you need to get them out of the house more.

No Instrument For This C-String

Skimpy swimsuits are a catch-22 for many fellas in relationships. See, we guys like to see an attractive woman wearing a small, skimpy, sexy bikini. We are attracted to her. And, if we start to date her, we envision a life with a hot woman 

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willing to wear a thong to keep our blood pumping. So, many huys will actually buy their girlfriends skimpy swimsuits, dresses that actcentuate their assets, and sexy lingerie. When we are out with them, and guys are looking, we feel proud. She’s with me, not you.

The problem is that this gets old quickly. As she continues to show off her God-given gifts, and the men continue to glare, we begin to resent the stares. jealousy sets in. We may even wonder why she needs so much attention if she has me.

So, I stumbled across the newest in beachwear, The C-String. The G-string is a patch that covers the front, some cheek floss and a couple of trings to keep everything together. Well, now some genius (I’m guessing it was a guy who just started dating a new, hot girl) has fiured out a way to lose those couple of strings, so from the side, it looks as though she’s not weaing anything down there.

The garment is in the shape of a “C”. Similar to the G-string, the C-String has a small patch to cover what’s up front and some cheek floss, but because this “floss” has a flexible material in it, it can bend and hold its shape. So, the wearer can just clamp it over her “do not peek” area and she’s good to go.

The thing is, many guys will be attracted to the woman wearing the C-String. He may even start a relationship with her. But, once committed, does he still want her to wear it? Does she have a need to get a guy’s attention now that she’s in a relationship? It’s a strange dichotomy. We guys are attracted to a woman who is flaunting, yet often hope she stops once with us. 

Booze and a Break

Sluts Don’t Bleed

He Won’t Trust Me

I’m Not Her!

Convince My Lover