Leon Scott Baxter's Blog, page 20

Bully Hubby

Move Over Fred and Wilma, Lucy and Desi

According to a study conducted by the National Sleep Foundation 12% of married adults sleep alone. That’s right, they are not sleeping in the same bed as their spouses. For many, snoring is the culprit and getting a good night sleep is important, but I want to know if sleeping in separate beds is really bad for the marriage. Well, according to the stats that are floating around, more and more couples are opting for separate beds, and according to an msnliving survey, the number one eason for couples fighting in the bedroom is blanket hogging (really?). 

The National Association of Home Builders predicts within two years, 60% of custom built homes will include dual master bedrooms. 

Seriously!? We are building full on rooms because our partner is pulling the sheets to their side of the bed? Maybe buy another sheet. I mean, I guess to each their own, but for my money, I want to sleep with my wife, and no, it’s not about the sex (sex while asleep is not very good, anyway). It’s about physical intimacy and sharing something with someone so special that no one else gets to share it (save for my child when she was two-years old).

Some experts are saying that separate beds can actually make a relationship stronger. What do you think? Maybe I’m biased because I sleep with [image error]my wife, because we share our blankets, because she ignores my snoring and because we can’t afford another master bedroom. But, I think that if things were different and we were to sleep separately, our marriage would not be as strong as it is today. 

What about you?

Insecure

Do You, Adam, Take Steve…

There’s been a lot of talk recently about gay marriage in the U.S. Do you want to know my take on it? I’m going to tell you anyway (it’s one of the benefits of having my own blog). My website is called CouplesCommittedToLove.com, not HeterosexualsCommittedToLove.com. Why don’t I specify male/female relationships? Because I’m all about relationships and romance. Relationships occur between family members, friends, and lovers; and lovers don’t have to be male/female.[image error]

No, I’m not gay, and to be honest, it doens’t even matter what my beliefs are. I am here to help couples who are in love. If you read my posts, you will see that when discussing physical intimacy, I don’t judge. Look, if it doesn’t hurt anyone and both adults consent, have at it in the bedroom. I may not want to follow suit, but it’s not for me to say what adults do behind closed doors. 

The same applies to this whole gay marriage thing. So, I’m not married to a man, and I don’t want to marry a man, but who am I to say that men shouldn’t get married to one another? I know. Some argue that it’s morally wrong. But, what are our morals based on? Very often they are founded on our religious beliefs. So, if a religion decides that there’s no gay marriage in its church, so be it. If you are gay, go to a different church. But, when it comes to marriage and our government, we are not to look at religious beliefs (separation of Church and State, right?). 

“But, marriage sends a bad message to our chldren,” I’ve heard argued. What’s that massage? Are we afraid that little girls will grow up to marry other women? Really, are we so frightened that we think gay marriage will tip the scales in a battle versus straight marriage? Come on! 

“Well, it’s morally wrong!” Oh, that again. What about gambling? Burn down Vegas and Atlantic City. What about pornography? Arrest the folks who run adult sites and torch the Playboy Mansion. What about cigarettes and beer? Look, we don’t get to impose our moral beliefs on a society.

“But marriage exists so men and women can propagate the species..to have babies. Two women can’t do that!” Uh oh, what are we going to do with all the married couples who choose to go childless? What about those who want a child, but can’t conceive for one reason or another? And, what about those couples who have not tied the knot but still have had children ? Guess we better run all these folks off to jail or a remote island somewhere in the Atlantic.

I know, I’m being a bit ludicrous, but I’m not the only one. Marriage is for adults who want to commit to one another for life. It doesn’t hurt me if they are man and woman, if she is 26 and he is 87, if he’s Black and she’s Filipino, if she’s a wealthy doctor and he flips burgers at a fast food restaurant or if she is a woman and so is she. 

Help!

Love on the Life Raft

Love is all around us. No, not because it’s spring, but because, well… it just is. If you are in a relationship, good. Great. Perfect. There’s love, right there in front of your face. But, for those of us who have yet to find love, you may find it where you least expect it.

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People will look for love at a club, a bar, online, at church, the laundromat, a friend’s dinner party, even the grocery store. But, for some reason we feel as though everyting else is off limits. It’s not. You can bump into Mr.or Ms. Right at the the orthodontist’s office just as well as you can in the produce aisle. 

Love is all around us, and if we aren’t open to it, we may just walk right past it. Take for instance the infamous Flight 1549 from La Guardia to Charlotte, NC. That was the flighjht that lost an engine when a flock of geese flew into the jet and was heroically landed by Captain Sully in the Hudson River. On that flight were two passengers, Ben Bostic and Laura Zych. They survived the historic flight and six months later, at a passengers’ reunion struck up a conversation that lead to their romantic connection and relationship.

So, what’s my point? Here’s the deal. Had their plane never crashed in the Hudson, Laura and Ben would not have fallen in love. So, am I telling you to try to connect with everyone you see? No, freaks don’t make good partners. But, I am telling you not to pass up an opportunity. Ben said he had noticed Laura before they had boarded, but didn’t feel comfortable talking with her. Had he approached her, she mighht have thought he was just trying to hit on her. But, had he not, and had those geese been better at maneuvering around an Airbus A320, Laura and Ben would have landed in Charlotte gone their separate ways, one to the NASCAR Hall of Fame and the other to the Billy Graham Library, and I would be writing a blog post about Miley Cyrus breaking off her engagement.

In other words, take the bull by the horns. Don’t wait for a catastrophic event. Your perfect match may be three rows behind you on your next flight.

Long-Distance Gamers

Let’s say you and your significant other like to play games online, yet are miles apart. What can you do? There’s a cool site, LovingFromaDistance.com, that helps couples play games together from across the world. What I like about this is that although long-distance relationships (LDRs) are quite a challenge to keep afloat, one of the things couples can do to help survive them is try to stay connected in ways they would if there was no distance obstacle (read more here).

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And, if you can benefit from the site’s gaming page, then you’ll probably be able to benefit from the entire site, which was created by a couple in an LDR. There’s a forum for LDR couples, a free download about how to make an LDR work, articles and advice. They’ve got songs and quotes appropriate for LDR couples, free downloadable stationery, and a bunch more.

So, if you are in an LDR and you want to connect, check out the gaming page or just the LovingFromADistance.com home page for great ways to stay connected and to keep your LDR going strong.

Am I Too Selfish?

Seventy-Nine

Seventy-nine is my favorite number. In 1979 I met my best friend. I was born on the seventh day of the ninth month. My first daughter has seven letters in her name, and the second has nine. The first time my wife and I locked lips it was 7:09 pm. Seventy-nine has significance in my life. Back to that in a moment.

Can blogs be helpful in your life or are they just an excuse to waste precious time? Well, just like everything on the internet, anything has the possibility to be useful or wasteful, and blogs are no differet. And, the thing is, there are blogs for every topic: how to save money, DIY crafts, recipes, exercise, parenting, gardening, and there’s even one called “What’s the point of guinea pigs?”.

But, what about relationship blogs? There are thousands of them. Some helpful, some not so much. So how’s a couple that wants to be sure they invest quality time working on their relationship supposed to sift through the mountains of blogs and find some that will work for them? Well, someone’s already done the dirty work for you. 

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After countless hours of scouring the web, there’s an official list of “The Top Relationship Blogs to Follow in 2013“. They may not all be up your alley, but the researchers who listed them have decided these one-hundred blogs are not junk that will waste your time. So, check them out and see if you can find a few that might be worth following. You can always cancel if it’s not up your alley and you can go back and pick another off the list if Sugar Daddies are not your thing (#5 on the list).

Oh, unlike most lists, the blog listed at number one is not the one that is most recommended. Using some strange NASA-space age formula the top recommendation of the researchers of the list is…yes, you guessed it, number 79! So, be sure to look at that one first. Enjoy.

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(Writer’s note: 79 is in no way my favorite number. I met my best friend in 1983. I was born on the 24th day of the 12th month. One daughter has has four letters in her name, but the other really does have seven. I have no idea what time I kissed my wife, but I know it was late on Valentine’s Day. Sorry…just wanted you to look at number 79 on the list.)

 

New Pope, Religion and Love

Pope Francis I was elected the leader of the Catholic Church yesterday. The selection of a pope is an arduous and secretive process. Many are pleased with the newest Catholic leader, and there are others who just don’t care. What happens when there’s a huge religious event in the world and there’s dissention within a couple with regard to religion?

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What if one partner is Catholic and hte other practices a different religion? What if one believes in God while the other is an athiest? Should couples of different religious beliefs get married?

In some religions, they are not allowed to. But, if they are, should they, or would that difference in sprituality be too uch for the relationship to withstand?

My wife and I are of different religious backgrounds. She was a practicing Catholic when we married, as I never really labeled myself with any one religion, although I do consider mysfly very spiritual. Her family, as well as her church, was adamant about me becoming a Catholic before we said our vows. To appease the masses, I went through the proper classes and was “allowed” to marry the love of my life. Yes, I did fool the church, but I knew I was fooling no one’s God. He knew that I was doing it so I could be with my sweetheart.

So, was the difference enough to cause major problems in our marriage? Not ata ll. If anything, we have been able to bring more to one another and expand our beliefs. 

I would suggest that if you love someone, do not let religion or the selection of a new pope to stop you from following your heart. Religion is supposed to be based on love. If you have true love for one another, your church should embrace that. If they don’t realize that you God does. And, if you don’t have a “God” there’s nothing to sweat.

Congrats Pope Francis.